Yes, You May
by CaptainAfrica
Summary: From the resurrection of a girl fated to die to the acceptance of the greatest scoundrel and debauchee in the universe, everything is permissible.
1. Resurrection

Yes, You May

Author's Note: You don't have to read this if you don't want to, but if you need to know about what happened to crazy old me, this story isn't really about that. Although it's definitely not the standard definition of a "well-written" Madoka fic, either. Here's something that'll make you feel better if you knew the other crazy stuff I've written… There are no male main characters, and there's no actual sex (I will tip on the borders though). Then again, I hate spoiling stuff and I could be lying. With that said, off we go….

Resurrection

Consciousness faded and flickered within the mind of Sayaka Miki. It was inevitable. She was literally on the verge of death and disappearance from the material world, and in her last moments, she looked back at the world full of a strange sorrow and curiosity. _It's over…_ she said to herself in her head. _It's over, all over…_ And as she felt the last electrical spark between the neurons in her brain cells, she tried to calm herself down by assuring herself that her role was completed, preparing herself for the unknown future that would lie ahead…

And then, something went wrong. Suddenly, Sayaka felt air whooshing around her, and her lungs were drawing in deep, sharp breaths of cold air. _No…_ Sayaka thought in her mind. This was wrong, improbable, impossible! Dead people remain dead and don't get revived. If this is permissible, then, then…

_Jeez, blue ketchup_, a mysterious, young, and feminine voice called out to Sayaka. _What are you thinking, just leaving the world like that?_ Who was this? The voice sounded a little like Kyoko's, but it definitely wasn't Kyoko's, and not Mami's or that annoying transfer student's, either. "Ah, that's right…" Sayaka said softly to herself. "This voice, like my revival, is something that shouldn't exist in this world…"

_In any case, your role isn't near over!_ The voice stated as Sayaka began to open her eyes. _I have yet to play with you, you know? We'll have lots of fun together!_ Fun…?

And then, all of a sudden, Sayaka was lying flat on the ground, having suffered a decent fall from midair. Her body didn't feel it, however, for it had stopped feeling almost anything over the past week or so. And around the blue-haired Puella Magi, three other figures stared at the scene in utter awe.

"Sa… Sayaka…" Kyoko Sakura was the first one to speak up. It couldn't be… Sayaka had disappeared, faded away, in her final battle against a group of powerful demons a week ago, like all Puella Magi do. This was something that was supposed to happen, that indeed happened a week ago! Then we leapt through time… Instantly, the redhead turned to Homura Akemi. She had related her own experiences of an alternate universe changed by some pink-haired girl named Madoka Kaname a few days back, and if she was really a time traveler… But Homura, too, looked utterly mystified, sharing the same expression of Mami Tomoe's. Slowly, Sayaka got to her feet, resurrected from nonexistence and completely confused.

"We really did leap through time," Mami said, checking her digital watch. "And the strange thing is, the three of us weren't even together… Hey, I don't want to bring up strange paradoxes, but shouldn't we have doubles? Does anyone have a clue as to what's going on?"

"The scenes change when time leaps, but the physical masses don't…" Homura started, then realized that it was something only she would understand. "This definitely wasn't my doing though. There's no trace of any of our magic at all, even if we did erase our memories."

"The sci-fi stuff can wait," Kyoko decided as she rushed towards Sayaka, who was still getting to her feet in confusion. "Sayaka, is it really you…?" Kyoko scanned the Puella Magi clad in blue up and down. It was definitely Sayaka Miki, there was no mistaking that… "How are you? Are you all right?"

"I… I suppose…" Sayaka mumbled as Kyoko knelt down and checked the blue Soul Gem. It was still considerably tainted, which caused Kyoko to shiver with anxiety. "I'm not sure what happened, either…"

"That can wait," Kyoko said as she helped Sayaka to her feet. "First I want to make sure that you're okay." Ever since Sayaka's disappearance, Kyoko had realized how dear Sayaka was to her, and vowed to never let an opportunity like this slip away again. "I'd give you an offer to stay at my place, but…" Damn it, Kyoko cursed herself as she looked for the right words. This was really awkward. "Be it god or devil that dictated this sudden change of fate, I'll be sure to take the future into my own hands." The redhead put Sayaka's arm over her shoulder, and Sayaka looked confused among receiving the comfort. "Um…" Kyoko rattled her brain for more lines. "If you were meant to die, that time has passed already, so please don't create any arbitrary guidelines for yourself. Sorry if this sounds rude, but I'm coming to your place to make sure nothing stupid happens, okay?" With that, Kyoko reverted back to her casual clothing, and the three other Puella Magi reappeared in their middle school uniforms.

"Are you sure you'll be able to handle her by yourself?" Mami asked in concern. Homura still eyed Sayaka suspiciously. She didn't she would see this sort of massive time-space distortion phenomena anymore, and wondered about her own personal wishes that might be realized like this…

"I've got her," Kyoko said confidently, with the look of an utterly responsible adult. This really was a different Kyoko Sakura.

"I wish good luck to both of you," Homura said calmly as she brushed her hair. "Mami Tomoe… Mami," The name still felt awkward around Homura's tongue. "Let's scan around the area, shall we? It's probably better to know what caused this sort of thing. You two can take the night to enjoy yourselves."

"Hey, shut up, transfer student!" Sayaka mumbled as she straightened herself against Kyoko's shoulder. "You shouldn't…" Ah, Sayaka caught herself. She guessed she was feeling better already.

"So I can really stay with you?" Kyoko asked.

"Yeah, I guess…" Sayaka said, still a bit confused and surprised at her former rival's sudden display of affection. Maybe I misjudged more things than people, Sayaka thought. Maybe I misjudged the nature of the world… Ah, why does a middle school student like me have to care about this stuff?

"Don't start unnecessary fights, you two," Kyoko called to Mami and Homura as they left in a pair to scout the area. "Really…" Kyoko looked down at the blue-haired girl clinging to her. If Sayaka could be brought back so easily, it needed to be ensured that she wouldn't disappear so easily, either.

* * *

It was only a few minutes after seeing off Kyoko and Sayaka that Mami and Homura noticed something strange in the alleys. A streamlined figure and flashing red magic, Mami observed as she peered around a corner. It was a young girl definitely around the lines of a Puella Magi, but the thing she was fighting didn't seem to be any sort of demon. It was an odd sort of mass of writhing flesh that bounced around nervously as the red, fiery magic vaporized it and cut it down.

"She's the source, isn't she?" Mami whispered to Homura, and the purple-eyed girl nodded. Definitely an odd sort of Puella Magi, like one that was ripped out of some odd modern fighting game. Her black hair was tied up in twintails, and her similarly black outfit was covered asymmetrically in frills and casts. She held the blade of her curved sword underneath her ring and pinky finger, as opposed to above the thumb. Her eyes glowed a bright red to match her fiery flames. She wasn't scary by any means, but she definitely gave off the presence of a character that would have rock music playing in the background as she was introduced to the audience.

As soon as the stranger dispatched the weird mass of flesh that was her foe, she held her sword perpendicular to the ground and began to summon a vast column of red flames dancing around her. Upon further analysis, Mami and Homura concluded that this stranger wasn't necessarily the source of the change, but was tied in to it somehow. And beyond that, she was ridiculously powerful…

"Mighty suspicious activity for a Puella Magi," Mami said as she stepped out and pointed one of her muskets towards the stranger. Homura hadn't been in favor of such an approach, but it was definitely a valid way to test hostility. The stranger continued to do its red fire thingy, letting the flames finish dancing before turned to Mami with an amused look.

"I thought you'd find me," the girl said. "Mami Tomoe and…" Homura stepped out of the corner. "Homura Akemi. Pleasure seeing you again."

"You know our names but we don't know yours," Mami said as she lowered her musket a little. "That's very… interesting."

"I'm Zusa Kanajo." For Homura, the name triggered a strange, brief flash of hallucinations to play in her head. "I wasn't killing demons, but I'd say that I was doing my job well-enough. I sort of have different responsibilities than you girls do. Those masses of flesh aren't things that you have to be worried about, in any case."

"I have a feeling that in addition to taking place in the space-time manipulation, you erased some memories… Or rather, some memories were erased from me." Homura said. "I don't like to just take people's words, but is that something you'll admit?"

"Hehe," Zusa laughed lightly. "I guess. It wasn't me who erased your memories. It was just something that needed to happen. I'm not sure what you believe needs to be forgotten and what needs to be remembered, but rest assured, the memories you had of Madoka Kaname are of a real universe and not implanted." Homura twitched upon hearing such a suspicious person say the name of her best friend.

"Well, cut to the chase, Kanajo-san," Mami started.

"Call me Zusa," the twintailed girl said, shrugging.

"Then, Zusa-san… You know why space-time was suddenly messed with, don't you? It doesn't seem that it's in the natural order for Sayaka to just reappear like that."

"Ah… I helped her with the space-time thing, I'll admit," Zusa said. "You'll meet the culprit behind this suspicious stuff soon, though. She just wanted to have good friends to play with when she arrived here. And I'm using 'friends' here in a perfectly cordial sense. She's a rather kind-hearted person, really."

"Why doesn't she just show up now?" Mami asked.

"She wanted to give Kyoko and Sayaka some time to relax…" After Zusa's statement there came a nervous pause, and Zusa looked like she was about to leave when Mami spoke up again.

"No, tell me. Who are you _really_? How do you know so much about us?"

Zusa put on an amused smile. "Let's just say that I'm one of the people in charge of making sure this universe doesn't go bonkers. When one wishes a wish with the scale or potential of the one Madoka Kaname made, chaos ensues for a short while. I'm just someone that calms that chaos…" Zusa's smile suddenly faded, and the twintailed girl let out a sigh. "Unfortunately, something big is happening, and you all – Kyoko and Sayaka too – better prepare for it… Again…" Zusa muttered, to some extent uncomfortable. "I trust you to make the right decisions in my absence." Zusa shot a strange glare at Homura.

"Decently plausible," Mami said as she looked Zusa down in the eyes. "But if you ever raise those weird flames and that blade against the Puella Magi that protect this town, I'll personally make you regret it." Zusa just shot the drill-haired girl another amused response.

"Well then, I'm off," Zusa said. "Take care, you two." The twintailed girl summoned a heavy motorcycle out of her red flames, and after leaping onto it, started up the noisy engine and rode into the dark and foggy night. Zusa Kanajo, Homura repeated the name in her head with a mix of curiosity and anxiety. What is she exactly?

* * *

"Ah, Kyoko…" Sayaka said awkwardly as she came out of the bathroom fully clothed in her pajamas. "I'm not implying anything, but would you like to take a shower as well…?"

"Eh… To be honest, I don't really want to let my eyes slip off of you again." The redhead still seemed fairly worried, and she had stripped down to her black undersized sleeved shirt. "There are… I don't know. I mean, there should be things… things we have to talk about, right?"

"Maybe," Sayaka said as she walked over to her bed and threw herself upon it lazily. After the shower, she had started to feel unexpectedly tired. "Anything specific you have in mind?" Kyoko twiddled her thumbs, realizing how unaccustomed she was to such an intimate situation. "Uh… You can sleep on the bed too, you know," Sayaka felt blood begin to rush to her cheeks. "It's not like I suspect you of carrying some sort of deadly disease or whatever."

"Thanks," Kyoko said as she knelt down on the bed besides Sayaka. She had thought about having a scene like this, where she would be able to say a few last words to her former rival, quite a while now, but wasn't sure how she would execute it in the present. Kyoko repeated phrases like "I'm sorry" and "You idiot!" in her head, but those lines didn't seem to match her honest feelings. "Well, uh, Sayaka… To be honest, really honest with myself, I don't think you're a bad person."

"Becoming a monster-killing machine and causing people to worry about me doesn't make me a bad person… Heh." A wave of unpleasant emotions flew through Sayaka's heart. "I know that my emotions and circumstances, and the surprise I felt on thinking that I was nothing but a rock may make you feel sympathy for me, but looking back, I think I totally made the decisions I made out of my own free will… I don't think I was some pawn in some great destiny. I just did what I did, and there's no escaping that. Do you think otherwise, or what?"

"But… Your actions…" Kyoko looked at her new… friend with a contemplating glance. "You didn't think they were the moral actions, at the time?"

"You sort of have to do different things according to the situation," Sayaka said. "I did the same thing over and over, and got stuck in that stage where I felt I had to sacrifice everything instead of moving on. When you say 'I don't think you're a bad person', what do you really mean by that? Do you believe there are bad people to begin with then?"

"Let's not overcomplicate this," Kyoko said as she lied down, and Sayaka silently agreed. "Really, Sayaka… What do you value more? Being a good person, or loving and being loved? The thing is that you aren't just a living weapon, contract, or rock to me. You may have done some stupid things, but I don't know why, I mean… You're my friend."

"Hmmph. It doesn't make sense at all. Don't most people want to believe that their self lies beyond the body somewhere? And here I got all excited because I was put into a rock… But I think my body was something that was important to me. You run with its legs, think with its brain, and see with its eyes… If the body was something I could disregard, I think I would've lost a large part of my life. I wasn't risking anything when I fought Witches. I was just running a machine and doing a menial task…"

"Still," Kyoko said, her emotions starting to flow out in words. "Perhaps we can put some of your soul back in your body. Sayaka…" Kyoko pressed down on one of Sayaka's hands with her palm. "Can you feel this? If so, you still have a body, and that body is still a large part of you... I don't know. From what scientists seem to say recently, our body is nothing more than a set of automated, watery fibers running their systems, and beyond that we are composed of invisible particles that move in patterns. Maybe separating your soul and putting it in a rock isn't much better than that, but I still think that we are what we make of ourselves. The system exists and we control it."

"I still think I'm in a tough spot," Sayaka said, starting to get a little annoyed. "Either I made bad decisions out of my own free will, or some system of fate manipulated me so that I had no choice to do what I did, and no choice to do what I'm doing now. Both of those thoughts seem pretty depressing."

"Well, let's say we believe in free will, and you have the choice to stop moping about. I don't think you're so irrational to stay in your situation believing that…" Sayaka curled up a little more upon hearing those words. "You know? Forget the idea of what you deserve, or how guilty you should feel," Kyoko suddenly said. "Where's the good in a bad person supposedly feeling bad about something? Maybe there is no real system of justice that we can agree upon. Maybe everyone gets an excuse for everything. But friendship… Love definitely exists, and I'd prefer that to making guilty people feel miserable."

"If you really…" Before Sayaka could finish her sentence, Kyoko embraced her in a deep hug. The fact that it was her first time being hugged this tightly by another girl on her bed of all places caused her to stutter, then flush, but eventually, warm feelings started to flow through Sayaka's heart. "I don't get it…" Tears started to come to Sayaka's eyes. "You don't get it either, but…"

Kyoko closed her eyes and smiled. "This might not be an adequate conclusion of human nature for emotion-ridden psychologists, but if it makes you feel better, it's the best thing to do at the moment. Get well soon, Sayaka…" And, as she blushed heavily, the redhead added in a quiet whisper, "I love you."

"You…" A flash of images went through Sayaka's mind. "I… I love you too, Kyoko." It was a strange love, a forbidden love born out of magic, curses, and deep pain, but it was so strong that it made Sayaka forget all about Kyousuke, and stopped feeling guilty-ridden about her failed pursuit of justice.

"Sayaka…" Kyoko muttered, a little surprised that she would actually say that so quick. "You… Well…" Romantic moments made horrible literature. "Good night," Kyoko said as she flicked out the lights. In the warm comfort of a bed with the pleasant smell of friendship and compassion, the new couple fell into peaceful slumber surprisingly easily.

* * *

"'Sup."

"…E-Eh?" Sayaka was still a little drowsy upon what had happened the last night, and now she was being woken up by another unknown voice. A different one than the one that called out to her during her resurrection, and… Oh yeah. She had slept with Kyoko last night. But she didn't have time to blush and be all embarrassed since a stranger was in her room. "Who are you?" Sayaka rubbed her eyes.

Zusa Kanajo gave off another one of her many amused smirks and crossed her arms. "You don't really need to know me." The twintailed girl looked down at Kyoko, who was still in a heavy sleep clinging onto Sayaka. "Geez… You have school today, don't you?"

"Well, uh…" Sayaka was still really confused. If Kyoko wasn't by her side, she might've drawn out her sword.

"I'm here to tell you that she can come along." Zusa pulled out a fresh school uniform and tossed it onto Kyoko's unconscious body.

"Whoa!" Upon having a fresh uniform hit her neck, Kyoko snapped up in a hurry. Sleep like a lion and awaken like one, huh? Sayaka thought, but didn't have time to be amused. "Who are… you?" Kyoko said awkwardly upon looking at the stranger in the room. "Have I seen you before?"

"I need to get better at doing my job," Zusa muttered to herself before turning up to the two girl couple. "Hey, Kyoko Toshi-I mean Sakura. You want to go to school with Sayaka Miki?"

"Uh, I'd rather sleep, but…"

"That's good, because there happens to be a spot for you, don't ask how. Anyways, I just came here to drop off your uniform. Didn't think Sayaka's would work all that well considering sizes." Sayaka was getting annoyed. This girl was a Puella Magi, no doubt. Annoying as that transfer student… "So I'm going to go, and you may not see me again for a while…"

"Hold on," Sayaka spoke up. "You can't just barge into people's rooms and…"

"Let's say you grew up in Plato's Cave. No, say we grew up in different Plato Caves, and I grew up in one where it was socially acceptable to barge into a room containing a couple of sleeping lesbian middle school students... Oh, I should probably save that question for her. As you can tell I'm bad at the set-up. So yeah, bye-bye…"

"Wait!" Sayaka said as she shot up off the bed, but Zusa carved a flaming red hole in space-time with her sword and jumped in, closing the gap before Sayaka could get through. "…Seriously?!" Sayaka turned to Kyoko for the redhead's opinion, and found that she was already putting on the uniform. "And here I thought you were the one wanting to be careful and stuff…"

"I uh… I do want to go to school with you," Kyoko said as she put on black thighhigh stockings. "You really think there'd be some huge trap at school waiting for us?"

"But I mean, some weird girl that barged in on us and escaped through a portal gives you a uniform and you just put it on… Never mind." Sayaka looked up at the clock. "If we spend too much time talking, we're going to be late." To be honest, while Sayaka did want to spend a lot more time snuggling with Kyoko, she also wanted something for her to do during the day if this relationship continued. Talk about troublesome… Sayaka said as she went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth.

"You'll help me on stuff, right?" Kyoko asked. "I haven't been to school in a long time…"

"That transfer student can help," Sayaka said, not wanting to admit her rather disappointing scores. "She's good at all subjects and in the same year as us."

"I'm not sure if we should put such a burden on her…" Sayaka spit out the mixture of toothpaste and saliva and washed her mouth after a few gargles. A daily routine, huh…? Kyoko thought in her head. It seemed really, if not completely pointless. But she had made the decision, and it was something to do with Sayaka every week, so in any case…

"Get ready," Sayaka said as she changed her clothes in a rush. "You said you wanted to go to school."

"Yeah…" Kyoko was about to slip on her green jacket when she realized she was in uniform. Pretty damn awkward, she thought to herself. "Uh, what exactly do I get ready?"

"…Right," Sayaka said as she grabbed her bag. "I'll let you borrow my stuff for today." Until now, she hadn't even thought of going to school the next day. But it was something to get her moving again after being caught up in that dreaded and painful rut in the crusade for justice. Work your way up slowly, Sayaka thought to herself. "Oh yeah, breakfast, breakfast…" Sayaka ran up to the refrigerator to fetch out two slices of plain bread, with Kyoko eyeing her curiously. I guess I can't just steal stuff anymore… Kyoko thought with a pang of conscience starting to chip in. But borrowing feels weird too… I guess it's Sayaka, though, so it's fine… "Take one," Sayaka gave Kyoko one of the slices. "We're going to have to eat on the way to school."

And so, two middle school students, one with red hair and one with blue, ran up a moderately troublesome hill to complete the demands of their daily education while chewing up pieces of bread in their mouths. I always thought these scenes in pop culture were cheesy and shallow, Kyoko thought. But doing it yourself is on a completely different level…

"Sorry I'm late… ish," Sayaka said as she walked into the classroom. Made it just in time, huh? Kyoko was told to wait in the halls for her supposed introduction. Homura Akemi the transfer student was busy sketching something on her notes, and looked a little tired. Sayaka still didn't have a clue on how this all worked out.

"All right, class, today we have another new transfer student," Saotome-sensei said. "Sakura-san, please introduce yourself to the class!"

Kyoko walked in and created an atmosphere that was definitely awkward, but didn't have so much a blush on her face. "Um… I'm Kyoko Sakura. Nice to meet you… or whatever." The mumbles the students gave seemed to be mostly positive. She was rather cute, after all. Sayaka eyed Homura, and the transfer student just looked a little amused regarding the whole situation. After that brief introduction, Kyoko sat down and waved off questions, and the teacher started lecturing after a quick discourse about some guy she dated. Well then, I don't get any of this at all, Kyoko thought, noticing Sayaka glance at her from time to time worriedly.

As for Homura, she was busy thinking about what happened last night. Zusa, Zusa, Zusa Kanajo… Homura tapped her pen pensively against her notebook. On top of the time-space scar, the resurrection, and the new Puella Magi, she had gone through an extremely strange dream last night as well, and couldn't quite recall the details. There's got to be something, right?

Making sure she understood what the teacher was going on about, Homura began sketching whatever came to her mind, trying to draw out all the events in the dream. Strangely enough, it ended up being a young, faceless male figure with dark hair dressed in casual clothes and poised in a manner similar to Michelangelo's statue of David. The face, the face… Homura thought. I want to remember it, but I also don't want to… Really now, this is weird. Homura flipped to the next page and began drawing what she usually drew, sketches of her best friend that she would never see again. It created deep feelings of sorrow in her heart, but it was something she had to do nevertheless.

When the bell rang for break, the four Puella Magi in the school met up and began discussing things. "I confirmed it with Kyubey," Homura said. "Zusa Kanajo is indeed responsible for cleaning up time-space distortions or something of the like. Of course, the little white mongrel could be lying again…"

"But still, she just barges in on us this morning and doesn't say when we would see her again," Sayaka said. "In any case, this body of mine, and even my Soul Gem… I feel better since last night, thanks to Kyoko, but I'm still not sure whether or not it's permanent."

"It could just be me…" Kyoko said, contemplating. "But did Zusa look familiar to you guys too?"

"I don't think I ever saw the likes of her before," Mami said.

"Me neither," said Sayaka.

"She seems a little familiar, that's all," Homura said. "She did mention something about wiping memories."

"Really…" Kyoko muttered. "In any case, I don't get any of what the teacher's saying. Can you help me with all of this?"

"Ah, well…" Homura started. Life had seemed to be relatively calm for her since time stopped looping, and now this…

"Ooh, would miss transfer student prefer sketching moeblobs on her notes all day instead?" Sayaka asked. Homura shot the blue-haired Puella Magi an annoyed glance upon hearing Madoka's former friend simplify her to that. "Well," Sayaka said, easing up a bit. "I guess you don't have to help if you don't want to. I'll see what I can do."

Sayaka started to explain all she had picked up from class to Kyoko while Mami and Homura observed silently. Kyoko definitely showed herself to have a decent sense of wit about her, and Sayaka was surprised upon her friend comprehending the stuff so quickly. "Really, you got it already? I had to spend like half an hour thinking it over…" Homura wanted to go back to sketching random memories, but the other three girls were all gathered at her desk since she hadn't bothered to stand up.

Mami stifled a soft giggle. "What's so funny?" Sayaka asked her upperclassman, feeling good and bad about herself at the same time.

"…Nothing," Mami said. "It's just… nice to see you in school, Sakura-sa – Kyoko." Upon hearing that statement, Kyoko flushed a little, and Homura looked out the window. Such an idyllic life this would be for them, Homura thought as she observed the clouds wisp back and forth. But all four Puella Magi knew that miracles like a resurrection had to come with a drastic price – and if so, who should pay for it? Homura thought of volunteering herself if the time came. Through the time loops, Kyoko had arguably shown enough feelings for Sayaka as she had for Madoka, even if Homura still didn't really like Sayaka. While on the other hand, all Homura really could do was perhaps sketch moeblobs and daydream all day…

…Well, I'll wait till that time actually comes, Homura thought to herself as she turned back to her three acquaintances. Acquaintances… That's right, it's probably still too early for "friend". "Mind if I help Kyoko catch up on things or something after school?" Homura asked.

"Wow, the purple-eyed majesty actually steps out of her own head for once," Sayaka said in jest. "I don't know… I sort of think your mind just sort of works differently than ours'."

"Sayaka…" Kyoko said. "You still haven't even heard her story yet. It's pretty unbelievable, but I don't think she's lying or under a delusion… I mean, if that Zusa girl could enter portals and such… Ah," the redhead stopped herself. "Sorry. You should say it to her when you're ready. Or should I relay the story…?"

"Do what you want," Homura said, getting up from her desk. "I'm going to the bathroom." Even if Sayaka was just joking around, she had a point about something. Homura's mind really worked differently. And not differently in the way that each individual was unique… She was probably a lot different from all the Puella Magi she knew, even arguably Madoka.

* * *

The four Puella Magi had a short study session at a café after school, and all the while Sayaka and Kyoko were still awkwardly thinking of each other. "You know, you really will have to buy twice the food…" Kyoko said as she walked to the apartment complex with Sayaka. Homura shared the same building, and perhaps the same room, but she was off doing something else. "I wonder how much that Zusa girl would pitch in for us. Getting some random girl on the streets into school isn't really a simple process, right? I mean, it really does feel I'm relying on people here."

Sayaka shrugged. "I don't know, we'll worry about such things when the time comes. But right now…" Sayaka's voice trailed off, not sure whether she was ready to say what she wanted to say. "Never mind."

"Well, if there's one thing for sure, it's that I'm not going to let you starve yourself and get all depressed again," Kyoko said. Mami and Homura had been kind enough to share their lunches at school today, but even then the food didn't seem to be enough. As if on cue, Kyoko's stomach began to grumble. "Sorry, I really am. I'm quite a heavy eater."

"We'll see what we can do," Sayaka said as she opened the door to her apartment. "That's right, I didn't buy anything since last week… At least I didn't spend all my money on stupid things." Sayaka began to dig around for the hidden cabinets containing her money. Kyoko spotted a white envelope on the floor.

"Uh, Sayaka…" Kyoko said as she pried open the envelope to find a fair sum of cash and a note.

"Found it… Oh," Sayaka said as she was loading her wallet. She read the note inside the envelope and scanned the value of the money. "These are Kyoko's living expenses – Zusa. Really? I guess we should go out to do some shopping now."

"Are you sure…?" Kyoko said hesitantly. Sayaka raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I don't think that there's going to be a trap or anything, but there is going to be a price for these miracles." Resurrection of her beloved, and then an easy road to romance… Karma couldn't be that fair, and Kyoko wasn't even sure what would be fair to begin with.

"It's nothing the two of us can't take on," Sayaka said with a confident smile. "Even if we die together, that's better than if I never came back, right?"

"Y-Yeah…" Kyoko said. It really was just how the world worked. Just like Puella Magi faded away once they were consumed by despair, humans, too, shut down after their bodies grew too old.

And with that, the very young couple spent the next week in what seemed to be a paradise. Everything worked out so perfectly and evenly. Kyoko caught up to the average student's pace surprisingly fast, and there was plenty to talk about in the spare time with Sayaka. Mami and Homura seemed to be willing to take the brunt of fighting demons for a while, and both Kyoko and Sayaka worked a lot more effectively on homework when they were together. There was a sizable amount of spare time, but it wasn't boring. Sometimes the two would just go out to eat and play at the arcades, or hang out at a café.

The nightmares of the past seemed to weaken as well. Sayaka now fought with a sense of vigor and ease in the battles against demons. It felt like her weapons were part of her body instead of her body being a living weapon, and she would actually take the time to dodge attacks. Kyoko and Sayaka made a powerful pair – one with pressure and agility, and one with power and speed. As a result, the demons were cut down in almost no time, and the people of the city seemed happier than ever.

As for romantic movements, a kiss or two was oftentimes shared, but there was still something preventing the relationship from getting too intimate besides the notion of forbidden love. Kyoko still felt a bit uncomfortable touching the naked body of the person she loved with her bare hands for longer than a few seconds, and was sure Sayaka felt the same. Even then, everything was working out well. Sometimes a cold passage of air would wisp by, or a nightmare would linger over one of the girls' hearts, but the two slept soundly in bed, cradling and holding one another.

Mami and Homura's morale were slightly lifted upon seeing Kyoko and Sayaka so happy together, but there was still the lingering question of Zusa and prices that would be paid for the resurrection. The twintailed girl hadn't shown up for a while, and both Puella Magi sensed an uneasy tension flowing in from the outskirts of the town. Homura especially felt like she was going to get involved in something big. She didn't know if it was just her good spirits trying to convince her that she could see Madoka again, but nonetheless the premonition rested in her heart. "This is far from over, especially for me."

* * *

"Are you going to make your appearance already?" Zusa Kanajo asked her friend. She was still pondering as she rubbed her knuckles leaning against the dark alleyway, the violent mixture of thoughts still swirling in her mind. "Hey." Zusa wanted to feel compassion for the girl, but she was just really annoying sometimes. "You said you wanted to resurrect Sayaka Miki to 'have fun with her'. Don't go back on your word now."

"Remember, if you drag this out of hand, you're a goner," a white-haired Puella Magi clad in black with an enchanted scythe said as she sat on the rooftops. "Don't expect Zusa to be on your side. And even if she is, she's not going to help you much. This world has gone through enough chaos already because of that demon whose seed you grew out of, and people like Zusa and me have to clean up all the messes, erasing memories and stuff. Our new autobalance system was supposed to be the final installment, but you just had to go do a resurrection. I'll repeat it again, demon girl. One slip-up and you're dead."

"Don't be so mean to her, Arla," Zusa said. "She's not a mean person, you know…"

"Hmph." Arla turned her back to Zusa. "You've definitely been hanging out with her type too much. Any person who thinks the type of thoughts she does has no place in a world full of humans."

Zusa's friend adjusted her blue jacket and let her messy, bluish-black short hair flop about awkwardly. "I got it, Arla. I'll still have as much fun as possible, you know? In any case…" The girl lifted her face and revealed her bright orange Soul Gem to enhance her daring, yellow-brown eyes. "I'm ready."


	2. Complications

Complications

"Um, class, it appears we have another transfer student this week," Saotome-sensei said awkwardly. The students started to clamor about. Three transfer students in a little over two months wasn't exactly normal. Homura, Sayaka and Kyoko all gave quick glances at each other as their eyes fell upon the new girl, signaling that she was definitely a Puella Magi. "Now then, er…" A complicated last name, huh? "Why don't you introduce yourself to the class?"

The new girl twiddled about for a bit before gaining a sudden burst of energy. "I'm… I'm Narcissa May Andropov!" she said as she looked at the class with her daring golden-brown eyes. "If any of you are aliens, time travelers, espers, or sliders, please see me after school! That is it!" With that, the class fell silent. After Narcissa's sudden burst of energy she reverted to her shy state again. "Um… uh… Oh wait. Yeah, if any of you are magical girls, please see me after school too! That's important. Write that down… Magical girls…"

Narcissa was sitting somewhere to the left of Homura, near the windows. For most of the lecture, she seemed to be thinking about something complex as she stared through the window. Yes, Homura thought. She didn't exactly know what was going on in that mind, but it definitely was more than mere daydreaming. Although she didn't sense hostility from this new Puella Magi, there was really something weird about her.

As the break bell rung, most students didn't approach Narcissa, as being crazy seemed to have that effect on normal people. There was, however, one boy who stood up and asked her something before Kyoko, Sayaka and Homura could make their move. "Which school did you come from?"

"I didn't go to a school before, you plebeian," Narcissa said. "I was a Jellyfish Pirate. First-mate, if you will…"

"If that's so… Is Andropov really your last name? You don't look very Russian."

"I'm Russian in spirit," the Puella Magi responded. "But yeah, that name is totally fake. I only let people I like call me by my real name. So far you aren't impressing me."

"What do I have to do?" This boy was rather daring. "Light myself on fire?"

"Only the Dark Flame Master can light himself on fire and make it impressive while doing so."

The boy was counting the pop culture references on his fingers. "…Never mind that. What was your introduction about?"

"Get out of my way, please," Narcissa said. "I need to talk to the magical girls." With that, Narcissa got up from her seat and ignored the curious boy completely.

"She's nuts," Sayaka whispered to Kyoko. "Don't tell me this is the price we have to pay for my resurrection… Ah." As Sayaka played back her memories, she realized that this girl's voice sounded like the one that had called out to her as she was losing consciousness.

"I'll get Mami," Kyoko said. It was a shame that Kyubey wasn't here to do telepathy for them. But in any case, according to Homura and on multiple other accounts that white ball of weirdness was totally untrustworthy… As Kyoko left the classroom, Narcissa walked up to Homura and Sayaka and flitted her eyes around, fighting her shyness with insanity.

"We're waiting for the drill-haired girl, right?" This girl definitely isn't likable, Sayaka concluded while Homura just looked to the side. "What, are you upset that your hair is plain? Hmm, Homura, would you call your hair a bird's wings or a lobster's pincers?"

"We can talk about that when the drill-haired girl comes," Homura replied. In a few seconds Mami was in the classroom, looking at the new Puella Magi up and down. There were so many questions to fire off, and none of the girls knew where to begin.

"We'll probably have to meet after school to settle things with such a complicated individual," Sayaka said, evidently frustrated. "But I guess we can ask her all we can during break."

"All four are indeed magical girls…" Narcissa whispered to herself. "All right, then," Narcissa addressed. "Since it seems you all will be my friends, I guess I can tell you my real name. Narcissa May Andropov is indeed a fake name. My real name is May Sakemura."

"Mei…?" Mami asked.

"May, spelled M-A-Y in English," the girl now dubbed May said. "I was just having a bit of fun upon presenting myself to the classroom." Sayaka winced upon May's notion of 'fun'.

"You know Zusa Kanajo, don't you?" Homura asked.

"Uh, yeah," May said, only a tad surprised. "She taught me Japanese and helped me with the resurrection thing. And now I'll suppose you all want answers…" The bell signaling the end of break rang. "Guess we'll have to continue this at lunch, and then after school. There's so much about me, hehehe~"

As regular school activities resumed, Homura kept a close eye on May. She was so crazy in conversations, but deep down, when she had no one to talk to, she was probably thinking about something unpleasant. Homura wondered why she leapt to this conclusion so quickly, and then realized that something about May Sakemura seemed really familiar. Not just her face, but her entire attitude, her gestures, it all brought something mysterious out of her unconscious.

May didn't seem to be the type to show off her impressive magical skills in P.E., nor did she volunteer much for answers. In many ways, you could really consider her a normal if not relatively attractive student. Her blackish-blue short hair was ridiculously messy, but the bangs and curves gave off a sense of cuteness. Eyes her specific shade of hazel weren't exactly common, either.

At lunch, the five Puella Magi ate in an isolated spot in the rooftop. "So, May Sakemura," Sayaka said the name awkwardly. "Since you like talking about yourself so much, why don't you start us off with your introduction?"

"Well…" May said awkwardly. Homura had a feeling this would happen.

"Don't worry if your past isn't some amazingly tragic sob story," Homura said. "We're not going to… Well, at least I'm not going to judge you."

"Right, right…" May said. The confidence had suddenly vanished from her face, replaced with a deep sensitivity. Mami was confused while Sayaka was getting impatient, and for some reason Kyoko and Homura both felt they knew what was going on. "Where to begin… My dad was some sort of traveling intellectual scholar, you see. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to end up as, but it was the best he could settle for…." May's voice dropped off as she stole glances at Kyoko and Homura. "And while I really didn't think of him as the type to just randomly sleep around, in reality those things happen, and young adults have sex. Well, he was kind of careful about the circumstances, I mean…" Sayaka was trying hard not to judge already. "He met my mother somewhere in Japan and entered a relationship for the first time. It wasn't a romantic one, to be honest, but they talked about a lot of things and messed around sometimes during the nights. It wasn't the most ideal way to be conceived, but the contraception failed one day, and, my dad being the champion of freedom he is, allowed my mom to choose whether to abort or not and promised he would take full responsibility if she chose not to."

"Wait a minute," Sayaka said. "This doesn't have to do with Kyubey, contracts or Puella Magi at all…" Homura shot Sayaka a sharp glare, and May was allowed to continue her story. For some reason, Homura had suddenly felt protective of the new girl.

"I think my dad always wanted a daughter, you see? My mom, er… was sort of still in high school at the time, which would have been a problem, but Dad was all, 'I'll take care of her, no worries' and moved back to America to raise me with the help of a nanny. And well, my father, you see… He was an odd sort of sensitive guy. School had probably restricted or alienated him as a child, and I guess he wanted to make sure I knew the right stuff, so until middle school I was sort of home-schooled. There wasn't much TV or video games or material things for me to seek, but Dad was so good at introducing me to the world that I found happiness in observing the trees, the clouds, and plucking down books from the enormous shelves of books around me. It was a lot of intellectual stimulation, really, but I think that was just it. And then…" May looked up at the sky. "As I entered middle school, I guess naturally my father and I drifted apart. He was really great and tried to help me in any way possible. I felt terrible, but I guess that's just the stage of life… I definitely didn't expect that if granted the option, I would choose to become a Puella Magi. I never thought my life as all that sad. But even then…

"I was allowed to come along to some special science performance that my dad got invited to, and for some reason, I felt really desperate that night. I wanted the past to return to me, because in all honesty, I felt really lonely. I had never thought that my dad would allow the sort of distance to develop between us, but it happened, and I wanted to know why. But as always, I guess I was curious, and I sort of touched the first machine I could find when I snuck onto the backstage. Who knew that scientists were actually trying to develop a gateway to a parallel universe! To be precise, the machine actually wouldn't just vaporized me had not Zusa saved me at the time. Zusa… She understood some things. The group of Puella Magi protecting the balance of the universe frowned upon that action, and I was told that I'd be sent back, but I said that I'd make it up somehow. I made a contract and became a Puella Magi. My wish? To understand exactly what my father held in his mind thus until now… I also messed around a tad bit more with Zusa, resurrecting Sayaka. But in any case, there's an easy explanation as for why I'm so messed up. Not only am I carrying the memories of a 36-ish year old man along with my current stream of consciousness, but my father was… quirky. He thought of weird stuff often. Really, I'm not sure how he controlled his own mind."

"Why even make the wish so roundabout?" Sayaka asked. May closed her eyes as she took the first bite of her fish sandwich.

"It wouldn't exactly be easier for me if I made it simple," May said, giving glances to each of the other four Puella Magi.

"…You sort of seem familiar to me," Kyoko started. "Does she seem familiar or what?" Sayaka and Mami shook their heads.

"She reminds me of something I probably forgot," Homura admitted. "But let's not focus on that for now. May." The new girl felt a pair of purple eyes falling upon her. "If you'd to like to be our friend and fight demons with us, that'd be acceptable." May let out a small sigh of relief.

"To think that there are Puella Magi regulating the universe with records on each of us though…" Sayaka murmured, "That sort of pisses me off. You resurrected me with Zusa in order to play with me or something, but the other Puella Magi don't? And it seems you knew that I'd react this way towards you. Why bring me back? Are you trying to get on Kyoko's side or what?"

May chuckled and smiled. "It's good to have a differing opinion is all. And honestly I do prefer happy endings. Are you really sure that you four want me with you? I can really be a handful."

"All right, let's put it up to a vote," Sayaka said. "To be honest, I can't handle you. Even when you were explaining things, just the way you talk is… really annoying to an extent." May masked her disappointment with an amused smile. "Homura is different. I'd rather not deal with people like you." Kyoko looked at Sayaka worriedly. "Maybe I want to judge people less, but I'm still voting against having this weird new girl join our group. Anyone that supports her raise your hand." Homura and Kyoko both raised their hands. "Kyoko, are you kidding me…?"

Mami raised her hand. "I believe this is the best way to keep an eye on her in the case she becomes our enemy. I mean, she did somehow resurrect Miki-san, so if she's in the mood, who's to say that she won't just vaporize us somehow? But beyond that sort of compromising, I do think we should give her a chance."

"She doesn't seem to be the type to just vaporize us," Homura said. "And it appears that Sayaka Miki's noticed that too, and taking advantage of it…"

"All right, all right, we'll have her in the group," Sayaka complied reluctantly. "But I still know that you're holding secrets, girl. If you want to gain my trust, spill it all out after school." May's expression suddenly grew to that of an abashed stalker's.

"It's fine if you don't want to say it, May," Kyoko reassured. "Sayaka just sort of gets like that from time to time." Sayaka flashed an annoyed eye at her lover. "Hey, you act like this when you talk about news, too…" For some reason, May just felt like someone who was really trustworthy.

"…Thanks," May said as she picked up the remainder of her lunch and headed back into the school halls.

"Talk about erratic…" Sayaka muttered.

May thrust open the restroom door and scanned her surroundings for people before taking in a deep breath. "Whew," the hazel-eyed girl said with a sigh. She had done better than she expected, but even now it felt like she wasn't getting anything off her chest. She suddenly began to become intrigued by the environment around her, or rather the environment by her… Thoughts and thoughts flew about in her mind, and for a small moment she thought her mind was breaking as a heartbreaking memory of her father's swept in…

"Don't force yourself, will you?" Homura said as she entered the restroom. May snapped out of her confused trance upon meeting her new acquaintance. "You hardly ate any of your lunch." Homura held out May's lunchbox in one arm, and May took it reluctantly. "You know, maybe I'm the only one that thinks this way, but you don't have to put up some sort of mask. Even if Puella Magi don't become Witches in this world, I feel that it would be a pretty bad thing if something bad happened to you. Or should I say that I actually feel for you as a person for some reason…"

"A single morning can do wonders, huh?" May asked. "It's… Would you like to discuss things with me or should I say it to the other girls as well?"

"I see," Homura said. "You really are carrying some sort of burden. While it would be selfish to want others to share it with you, having to carry it all by yourself would be a terrible fate as well." Homura took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "I'm not sure I would be able to handle you even if I was ready."

"The two of us are different," May stated. "But since we're different from the rest of the world, we're actually kind of similar. But I respect your choice." May cleared her throat. "Sorry. Having a second set of memories makes one a little neurotic, really. I'll try to explain it to you all the best I can. I just made things really complicated, but I think it has to be that way if things are to improve."

Homura sighed. "I thought our group would be stronger if you were in it, to be honest. Sayaka and Kyoko can cling to each other all they want, but in the end we're just four girls that don't really have that strong of a bond between us or sense of purpose. We can't seem to come up with a specific thing that we're fighting for, but you… You're interesting. Even if a leader stirs up negative attention, as long as she has the people follow her, she's doing her job."

"So I'm leader now, too?" May asked with a sarcastic smile. "Oh well. I guess that's not too much to complain about. You girls are rather nice, after all… But I'll be questioning that sort of thing later."

"You're really powerful in terms of magic. The other girls have probably noticed that as well. I have a feeling that you were telling the truth about yourself, even if you left out details. Must be some details crawling about in your head."

"Hmph. Let's go," May said as she took out her quarter-finished sandwiched and munched on it as she walked through the halls. The bell rang a few seconds later.

* * *

May was enjoying the suspense, and being herself, simultaneously fearing it at the same time. She hadn't really said anything herself on the walk from the middle school to a nearby café. Kyoko and Sayaka had been talking about something of their own accounts, and Mami and Homura attempted some awkward conversations.

"I'll start talking about more stuff when the drinks arrive," May said after the girls placed their orders. The hazel-eyed girl drew strange glares from the group before they focused on other things. May waited pensively as she looked at the intentional and unintentional patterns marked in the table, and decided to say the thoughts that she currently held in her head.

When the drinks came, Sayaka's glance was back on May as she impatiently prompted some answers. "So, what are you going to start with? More complications about your personal life? This secret organization protecting the fundamental laws of the universe that we never heard about? Or should we just make casual chatter?"

"What I'm going to talk about relates to all three, in a way," May said as she stirred down the sugar she added in her tea. Sayaka put on a look as if she was expecting something, and the rest of the girls just looked at May with curiosity. "Ever heard of Fundamental Attribution Error?"

"Jeez, fancy terminology we have here already," Sayaka said.

"No, it's actually a quite common term used in psychology to support the nurture (or environmental) side of the nature versus nurture debate, among other things. You can think up of some pretty simple examples. Say if you're meeting someone for the first time, and they appear gloomy and depressed, or irritable and arrogant, and you're going to assume that person is a gloomy and depressed person, or an irritable and arrogant person. But if one day you're meeting a friend and they appear gloomy or irritable, you're going to ask them 'what's the matter?' because you assume that person is a relatively nice person, because you're friends with them. Basically, you notice a person act a certain way, and you conclude that that's the type of person they are, and not that they're acting that way because of some situation that's affecting them."

"All right, maybe you can say I've misjudged you a little bit," Sayaka said. "But I have seen accounts of rather shall we say, unpleasant behavior consistently throughout the whole day. And there are some people that make a habit out of their unpleasant actions, too. Maybe if you want, we can shrug it off and say that you had a bad day today and we can start all over."

"The phenomena can actually go beyond that," May said. "Victims of sexual abuse may exhibit many signs supposedly indicating they are 'bad people' for many years after the incident happened, without anyone knowing... Didn't you see Kyoko as a different person when you first met her? And Homura, too…"

"You're going a little too far," Sayaka said. "If a person's environment would be just dependent on her situation or past influences, she could probably come up with excuses for everything. No one would accept any type of responsibility."

"That's a valid point," May admitted, the aura around her warming up a little. "But even then, judging others is quite a pointless expenditure of time. People have different sorts of standards and goals that they set up for themselves. Once you learn that morality is a culturally conditioned response, why not have it be a personally conditioned response? I oftentimes find that people who somehow attempt to be 'moral' are actually just feeding their own sadistic urges. Let's say that someone murdered the rest of your family or committed another type of grievous offense. You want that person to pay, to be ripped to shreds, to be tortured in the worst way possible. But that makes no logical sense in the situation, and the morals here could be considered pretty damn arbitrary…"

"Hey…"

"I'm not done yet," May's ideas and words were burning with energy now. "Revenge or supposed 'justice' won't undo wrongs or bring murdered ones back. Even if you torment someone into saying 'I'm sorry, I'll take it all back, I deserve all this'… When it comes to down to that and you feel that tinge of compassion which should be the foundation for morality to be built on instead of balancing wrongs – the proud, just and heroic would rather defeat villains than share their own wealth – you realize it's all so damn pointless. What your supposed compassion or morality really wants is for them to sincerely understand your suffering, and for you to understand theirs. But no. People put up this 'don't mess with me' type of attitude instead." The other girls at the table, even Sayaka to an extent, were held quiet in awe for a bit.

"You have a point, but I disagree," Sayaka said. "Sometimes goodness really does just have to fight back against bad people… You can't just wish that morality will sometimes spring out of an evildoer's heart and that you won't have to raise a shield or sword."

"I didn't even suggest total satyagraha," May corrected angrily, but restrained herself. "…Sorry. I can keep myself in control, I swear. But…" May paused for a bit. "What is a bad person? As scientific research into biology and psychology develops, the murderer or criminal will oftentimes be shown to have an undeveloped frontal lobe in the brain, or a damaged amygdale, or many other psychological disorders like schizophrenia, paranoia, mania, depression, or maybe simply a disrupted childhood environment. There are even freak cases which tumors have sprouted and disrupted the rational will of the person. If we grant that good is tied in with happiness, good doesn't really have to be chosen. But if these people are just doing the best they can to be 'good', and if happiness is something that's hard to measure in other people to begin with (you can measure dopamine levels or something of the like, but I think spiritual happiness goes higher) then these 'bad people' are just doing their best to be good – for themselves, at least. When you consider all these factors, it's hard to say when evil would actually be freely chosen."

"I still think you're just spouting excuses for people," Sayaka said, seemingly satisfied with the response she chose. "Why don't you talk about this with intellectuals in private libraries instead of middle school girls?"

"Well, first of all, I am a middle school girl," May said, evidently not done with her rants. "Second of all, intellectuals are usually either usually emotionally detached from these issues, socially restrained from saying honest thoughts about them, or very pretentious. Third of all, all of you have been through some pretty extraordinary circumstances so it's interesting as to how it relates to you. I have a bunch of other issues that I'll bring up later. But think of your own morality, Sayaka. Haven't you heard something along the lines of moral subjectivity? To an extent you'll have to admit that culture plays a very big role in what's right and wrong for someone. Ever since you were born, parents and authorities loomed over you, wagging their fingers and saying what's right or wrong. You are rewarded with a smile and a kind voice for raising your hand politely and getting the answers right in school, and given disappointing looks if you don't. People around you set up a standard of 'normality' that you struggle to keep up with. Maybe you won't admit this because it's all buried in your unconscious, but there are certain questions that will ignite revulsion from you even if you don't know why. Think of a brother and sister consensually having sex, or a child being fondled by a middle-aged man with no lasting circumstances. Think of the idea of masturbating sixteen times a day."

"Reports and documents would say that those things generally tend to yield at least some degree of harm," Mami butted in. Homura looked at May concernedly, remembering the talk they had in the bathroom. Would the rest of the girls gang up on her? Did she have to be May's Madoka?

"What if they didn't? You'd still find it revolting," May seemed to have thought up of responses way ahead of time. "Also, researcher bias. They'll specifically note evidence that supports what they want to believe, and disregard the fact that these things may happen often in other cultures. Take for example the hunter-gatherer cultures, which was really the way humans have lived until around ten thousand years ago without the benefits of modern agriculture. Their people suffer less anxiety and stress, and aren't on the verge of eating up all the world's resources. (I suppose you could say that science will come up with a way to solve energy and resource crises, but we really do have a pretty decent chance of screwing ourselves over, especially since people demand more and more now.) They allow their infants to play with knives and fires, allow their children to experiment sexually, and all that sort of stuff. Maybe their infant mortality rate and murder rate in general is worse due to other environmental factors, but really, who's to judge? We keep ourselves ignorant and stunted of our full potential out of our own free will with television and celebrities when articles are read in the news of young children dying of thirst and tormented by wars, and the ridiculously mechanized and cruel manner we breed and eat our animals. What about Nazi Germany? If you were born there, would you be so morally righteous to disregard their ideals? Maybe you don't even need to face of God, but there will be a poster of your ideal image, a schedule for your perfected self, or a symbol for your moral superiority – and where did that come from? Even if you didn't inherit it from your culture, it definitely didn't come out of selflessness or compassion… Well then, who's the one making excuses now?"

"I have no need to consider this type of stuff," Sayaka said.

"Even though you're one of the ones fighting demons and saving the world behind the scenes?"

"Well, it seems to me that you're the type to read so many books that your overall kill count would be worse than mine, really."

"You don't even have to read that much if you'd just engage your mind in the world around you."

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do," Sayaka shrugged. "Do whatever works for you, as you yourself argued in favor of moral relativity. I can say it's fine for me to be a hypocrite when brought into philosophical analysis for all I care. If I was raised in Nazi Germany I'd probably act as they would, but if I was brought there now I'd disagree. Personally I believe that my standards are the true objective ones, even if they were reinforced by my environment and such…. Oh yeah, didn't you say you share your father's thoughts and memories? Must've been a really weird guy then."

"Sayaka, that's a little harsh," Kyoko said. "My dad worried about this sort of stuff all the time, even if he was… different."

"Whatever, May," Sayaka said. "Just forget all about this sort of stuff and enjoy your middle school life as much as possible, being a Puella Magi that is. I don't know if your dad brought you up to be some sort of intellectual elitist…"

"He let me freely choose," May said, the highlights in her eyes starting to quiver a little. "He didn't tell me 'it just is that way' when I asked why the sky was blue or why jellyfish existed, nor did he just look up a textbook explanation…. I mean, don't you think that you yourself have a lot of freedom, and should actively choose what to do with it? I did say that many things were culturally conditioned, but can't you look past that and go deep into your heart and find out what you _really_ want?"

"I don't know," Sayaka shrugged. "Guess I must be a shallow girl." The whole table fell silent for a while. The drinks had remained mostly untouched during May's intense rants, and a few sips were taken here and there now.

"Sartre… Skinner…" May whispered under her breath. "Hmph." May took a deep sip of her tea and waited for something to be brought up. But there was nothing. Kyoko looked slightly depressed, Mami was trying to disregard the situation, Sayaka was trying to make the mood more casual, and Homura was deep in thought, glancing back at May from time to time. I guess I'm the leader, May thought to herself. "Okay, let's talk about a brighter topic," she resolved. "What do you guys think of otaku?"

"Those creeps that stay in their houses and just go out to buy weird anime stuff all day?" Sayaka asked.

"No, that's an otaku with a severe case of hikkikomori syndrome…" May said. "But since you brought that up, what do you guys think of otakus with severe cases of hikkikomori syndrome?"

"Disgusting freaks, really," Sayaka said. "They need to get their heads back in reality."

"But you spend almost every day fighting in sealed off magical worlds," May said. "How can you define what constitutes reality?"

"Yeah, well that's my role…"

"What is a role?"

"Something that Puella Magi like us are stuck in," Sayaka responded, annoyed. "Geez, you make everything so awkward."

"So you're saying that," May responded, "a normal human can choose the best for himself or herself and others given that they aren't in an oppressive society, but hunting demons is a much more exclusive role for us, much like humans need to breath, drink, and eat to survive."

"Yup," Sayaka said. "Otaku are scum."

"Yeah, but dakimakuras I imagine are a lot more commonplace than you'd think…" May said. "Given research into the idea of a comfort object, that is. Furthermore, these otakus – do they really have that bad of an intent? Don't you think that humans are born with an innate drive to do something in their lives, be it big or small? What about the ones that really do just want to snuggle up with one of those 2D girls and give the whole world over to them?"

"Stupid perverts."

"What about tying in that with your past feelings for Kyosuke Kamijou…?"

"Shut up, you freaking cunt."

"A man that can manipulate his emotions to the extent that he feels no inefficiency is nothing more than mere water," May said. "People don't try to take the most practical course in terms of cost-reward ratios when they fall in love. How would you know these otaku scumbags aren't trying their best to do what they can with their lives and their feelings? Certainly, you don't feel what they feel, and don't ever want to. That's another big issue I have with morality. You'd rather have the thing you don't like just be demolished entirely, or flick a switch, inject a syringe to make them 'normal' like you. You'd never actually want to take on their pain and respect their decision – that is, if it was a decision. Don't you like the fact that the world has so much variety?"

"More variety than it really needs," Sayaka said. "Why drag yourself through unnecessary pain? That doesn't really constitute as morality in my opinion…"

"Taking on unnecessary pain is root of compassion, but never mind that. So I guess no one else is speaking up?" May felt a little disappointed.

"I think it would be kind of interesting if the otakus actually met their 2D waifus," Homura said.

"What if you were this 2D waifu?" May asked, almost touching the border where her secrets and emotional instability lay across.

"It would depend on how many fanboys I had. If a lot of them met me it'd be nice to have an instant army, but if I met a specific one and that one was interesting… Well, I'm not sure how it'd work out. Personally I don't think I'd be that appealing of a character, but I guess there are a lot of fetishes out there."

May took in a deep breath. "Really now, Sayaka, don't you think you're being kind of unreasonable? Or maybe I shouldn't use that word… I don't know, don't you think that many of these otaku 'losers' really just want to be a hero, or provide someone they love with all of the socially accepted and respected romantic joys? Raising and protecting a family, that is, loving and being love, being trusted and trusting… The intent and willpower is there; only the environment isn't. But yeah, I guess Sayaka is right. The real world is cruel, strict, and demanding."

"Whatever," Sayaka said. "If compassion is taking on unnecessary pain, I'm not obligated to feel compassion for them. I don't care if it's fate or free will, but it's their problem if they can't appreciate the normal things in life."

May put on a rather disturbed look. "For someone that went through all that pain, you're being rather insensitive here."

"To be honest, um…" Mami looked for the right word. "Sakemura-san, you sort of are making the rest of us feel shallow in comparison. Sayaka probably doesn't really mean what she says, as a confrontational response probably feels more legitimate than an attempt at sympathy. It's just overwhelming for you to thrust all of this information, which you've probably accumulated over many years, into our faces in around half an hour." May was about to say that it really didn't even take half an hour to collect this information, but Sayaka interrupted.

"And what about you?" Sayaka turned to Kyoko. "You haven't said much the entire time."

"I don't know, this conversation just got so touchy so fast…" Kyoko said, looking up to May awkwardly. "So your father never tried to instill any morals in you?"

"I did have a nanny…" May recalled. "But as for him, not really. He just told me that bad things would probably happen to me if I hurt other people, whether or not it was intentional, and that no one escaped at least some form of karma forever. Of course, he also told me that pain was relative, but also said that whenever I went out of the house, it would be best to hold it in instead of expressing it, as I would probably end up feeling more pain than most other people. He said that I couldn't get a person to say sorry or feel bad for me just because I was hurt, that an apology had to fit into conventions, and that it was best for me to seek someone that wasn't normal. Unfortunately, I didn't find anybody, so I spent a lot of time with my dad. As for the books I read, I read all sorts of stuff with differing opinions and the like. When I entered middle school in my original world, I felt like I naturally didn't fit in."

"Ah…" Kyoko said. "My dad was sometimes really strict about being nice and stuff, and sometimes just let me do whatever I wanted as he pondered. I think from early on I knew that I'd cause a lot of pain if I did something supposedly wrong, whether the pain was suppressed or expressed, so I was rather nice in my childhood, with a lot of endless guilt to back it up."

"I assume that Sayaka and I had rather normal upbringings," Mami said. "Or would you like to join the psychoanalysis?"

"We can have purple-eyed majesty say what she feels," Sayaka said. Apparently this would be her new way of addressing her as both Kyoko and May were transfer students.

"I was rather weak in my childhood before I became a Puella Magi," Homura said. "I never really cared that much about being right or wrong, but I definitely wanted to do something with my life instead of having to carry around pills and the like all day. And I guess here I am now, with my life not quite complete…"

Another silence. May looked at the clock on the wall, and groups of eyes slowly followed. "Well, I guess we won't have that much time for psychoanalysis. Guess we can do this tomorrow. That is, if we're not dealing with demons. Anyone looking forward to it?" No one really wanted to say yes, but no one really wanted to jump out and say "No, this is a total waste of time!" either.

As the four Puella Magi left the café, they realized that they all shared the same apartment complex. In a sense, each one of them wanted to split up from the others (with the exception of Kyoko and Sayaka) after leaving the café together, but that wasn't really likely to happen unless they all started walking at their own pace. Awkward tension was still in the air, and it felt like no matter what the people around her tried to do, the acknowledgment of May's presence would create some sort of psychological disturbance.

"I actually agree with most of your points," Homura said to May as she walked slower to catch up with the hazel-eyed girl. For a while, May didn't say anything in response.

"I'm sort of hesitating about whether to say thanks," May said. "Because I'm not sure if it's for the better if I get people to think like me, and if they already agreed with me then there's no point feeling proud of reinforcing someone's beliefs, especially when science and reason is based on multiple systems of doubt."

"Well, I feel that after listening to you, I can trust people more," Homura explained. "…No, I guess 'trust' is the wrong word. Maybe I just feel less anxious about them, as if I understand something now. Your influence is definitely different than that of a visionary's or commander's, and I think that it's even more important. Maybe listening to you is something along the lines of stopping by to smell the roses – or perhaps it's something less sweet. Maybe it's stopping to observe the thorns after you smell the roses."

"No one wants to look at the thorns, though," May said.

"If they ignore the thorns, they're missing something, aren't they?" Homura surprised herself at how fast the phrases came to her mind, and felt that it would be awkward if she extended the analogy. Zusa erasing memories… The familiar feeling I feel among May's presence… Everything is definitely connected, Homura thought.

"Well, we're here," Sayaka said as the five girls entered the apartment. "Maybe it'd be better if we lived closer to a hospital. I can't imagine many demons gathering around an apartment, and the commute can get pretty awkward…"

May shrugged. "This means easy sleepovers and playdates, though."

"Why the hell would I want to do that with you?"

"Now, now, you two,' Mami said. "Please keep the tensions between yourself relatively low. Communication is good, but when the time actually comes for us to fight together as a team, we can't afford stupid mistakes because you don't like each other."

"Hmph," Sayaka said. "Kyoko and I are strong enough as it is, and even if we needed reinforcements, two other girls would easily suffice. If the strength of a Puella Magi depends on how much pain she has gone through, I doubt May has much power in the first place. Whatever she seems to be feeling seems to be too high and intellectual to be human pain."

"On the contrary," May started, "Pain is relative, so if…"

"You don't need to say that, May," Kyoko said. "Sayaka, you do have a lot of valid points when you disagree with her, and I still love you very much, but if I just took your side here or did nothing, I think that would be for the worse. A two-person relationship is good and all, but I don't think it's going to be a happy ending if you make it us against the rest of the world."

"Right…" Sayaka said. "I may have gone a little overboard, but I was just responding the best way I could." Sayaka turned to May as the five girls waited for an elevator. "May, if it's you against the rest of the world, that's not a happy ending either. Never mind that, whenever you have some sort of philosophical revelation to give to us in the future, I reserve the right to spout trite commoner crap." The elevator made a "ding" as it wheeled down to the first floor, and the five girls got in awkwardly.

"I forgot who said it," May said, "But there's a quote saying 'Everything that has ever needed to be said has already been said. But since no one was listening, it must be said again.'"

"Or we could've just had a limited amount of intellectual software stuck in our brains, or we forget or something," Sayaka said as the elevator stopped and the five girls headed to their respective rooms. That would be probably the last word she would have with May this day, so she didn't bother making it witty.

"Oh, the Freudian defense mechanisms are fun," May said to herself as she headed to her own room.

* * *

"You haven't said anything," Kyoko said a while after she entered the room with Sayaka, changed out of her uniform and lay down on the bed. Sayaka was standing in the middle of the room looking away, trying to contemplate something. "Or done much, mind you… Is this… I guess it is. It's all because of May, right? One girl can do so much to us on her first day…"

"Am I…?" Sayaka asked. "Am I a shallow person? I mean, this goes beyond understanding what May has to say…"

"Geez, Sayaka, don't worry about that sort of stuff…" Kyoko walked up to Sayaka and rested her hands on Sayaka's shoulders, gently holding her from the back. "I don't care if you're shallow or deep. It's more than the body and appearance, but I think that deep down, no matter what, there's going to be some part of you that's the Sayaka I love…"

"And what am I, except Sayaka?" Sayaka asked as she turned to meet the sharp red eyes of her lover, clearly frustrated. "I got depressed because I was too attached to my body, because I didn't feel better to anyone in comparison, and because one of my friends took the boy I liked. I had to resort to magic among all things to get what I needed to do done, and even then, May and that Zusa girl had to step in to resurrect me, and you had to be there for me. I admired Kyousuke but never learned to write or play music myself. Even my fighting style is really plain…"

"Are you satisfied, though?" Kyoko asked. "I think that's the question. Right when I became a Puella Magi I instantly wanted to become a hero. But now, I think I'd much rather stay with you, Sayaka. Being smart, or heroic, or an intriguing person isn't worth trading the thing I have with you at the moment."

"Ahh, but it really feels like May's just mocking me – all of us, sometimes," Sayaka seemed to calm down a little. "Resurrecting me, and then bombarding me with all of these things about my inner feelings that I can't possibly understand… She'll probably snap out some awesome fighting style that I can't begin to match and save us from the brink of disaster, or something."

"But she's in pain too, isn't she? I'm sure that you two will find something in common eventually…"

"We're about as different as two humans can be, mentally that is," Sayaka said. "Maybe you'll suggest that I'll learn to respect our differences, but to be honest, I'm not the type of person that's good at that sort of stuff. Respecting differences, that is."

"Well…" Kyoko started as she led Sayaka over to the bed. "You liked that Kamijou boy, and he was different from you."

"Being impressed by someone and respecting their differences are two different things," Sayaka said.

"But you know, there's more to it than that," Kyoko said. "My hair is long, and your hair is short. My outfit is red and yours is blue. I fight with a spear and you with a sword. You liked someone before, but I didn't…"

"_Mentally_, though, that's the issue," Sayaka said. "May's mind is just out of this world, and I feel that's going to be the case with anyone that was involved in my resurrection or anyone that's dealing with stabilizing the laws of the world rather than human relationships… If we fight them, I don't think we can win with brute force alone, or trust May to be on our side."

"I see…" Kyoko said. A couple of weeks had already passed since Sayaka's resurrection, but the coast definitely still didn't feel clear, and it was due to more than just May's appearance. When someone that was supposedly dead comes back to life, you wonder if you're going to have to worry until you're dead. "Well, if we're going to get her on our side, we might have to accept her ideas to an extent."

"Any idea how to do that? She spouts essay lengths of rants and expects us to reply better than a college professor would."

"I don't really think she expects that of us," Kyoko said. "Just try to see her as a fellow human rather than some sort of intellectual menace. I hate referencing other people, but she did have a point bringing up that Fundamental Error thingy. You, and maybe I, still tend to get caught up in the first impressions."

"…Right," Sayaka said. "I think that I'm going to have to work on dealing with other people in general. What we have is great and all, but sometimes it feels like we're still only sharing our similar thoughts and feelings… I guess lovers should hold the same interests, but…" Sayaka's voice trailed off. Ah, she thought. If May was talking about this she'd have brought up better points in a quarter of the time. Then again, it would almost be a completely one-sided conversation.

The next day was a Friday. Sayaka woke up to yet another clear and crispy morning, a morning that was supposed to show her of a perfect world, but instead hinted feelings of suspicion and dread. Oh, right, Sayaka thought. I'm supposed to be dead, I'll probably talk about something weird and depressing with May today, and she'll remind me and my friends about the starving, dehydrated, and war-ravaged children in third-world countries. It's really troublesome… But would living this sort of life with Kyoko be worth ignoring all of those things?

"Hey, Kyoko, get up," Sayaka shook her lover's shoulders gently. The redhead still tended to be quite a heavy sleeper, and had trouble getting out of bed even if the alarm clock rang. Sayaka wonder how long Kyoko had actually gone on without one of these basic stabilities in life.

"Ah, damn it, you feel really weird…" Kyoko muttered in her dreams. She sleep-talked a decent bit, but Sayaka hadn't heard her didn't say anything suspicious or disturbing. That's right; all of her nightmares made sense and were tied in with memories of a painful past. Sayaka wondered what sort of things May would babble in her sleep… Perhaps a long lecture about moral relativity or something with no one to interrupt, and when she woke up her voice would be all dry…

"Don't make me give you a wet willy," Sayaka said as she leaned in closer to Kyoko. Ah… I'll be nice today, Sayaka thought and merely blew a swift gust of air into Kyoko's ear.

"Egh!" Kyoko snapped out of bed, rubbing her eyes to meet Sayaka. That's right, Sayaka reminded herself. Who needs to care about May's complicated psychobabble when I can see such a cute image of Kyoko waking up every morning in her pajamas? "You're staring at me again…"

"Yo," Sayaka said. "Better reaction than the last week, at least. You still need to get up or we'll be late for school."

May didn't seem to bother making odd interruptions again on her second day of school. It was quite obvious that she was daydreaming most of the time in class, but when the teacher called on her, she answered all of the questions swiftly and accurately, no matter what the subject. Being home-schooled before middle school could really do wonders, huh…? Sayaka thought as she observed the bright-eyed girl.

Homura approached May during break and asked her a few things, and Kyoko and Sayaka decided to eavesdrop at a distance. "You were home-schooled, right?" Homura asked. "I thought your dad didn't force anything upon you."

"Like I said, I had a nanny," May responded. "And my dad tried as hard as he could to make the stuff interesting for me, getting me all sorts of researcher's books and academic journals that went above and beyond what I was supposed to know from the textbook. There were the museums, too…"

"You said that you were from an alternate universe?" Homura asked. "So it was a universe without magic, and Zusa just happened to randomly bring you into this one when she saved you from the failed portal between universes that scientists created… And Zusa's the type of person that would save anyone stuck between universes about to be vaporized?"

"…Yeah," May said. "You could definitely put it that way. From what I know of that universe definitely didn't have magic. Or in more scientific terms its laws of physics weren't as flexible." That's it, Homura thought. Her new friend was definitely hiding something.

"Can I see what you drew during the lecture?" Homura didn't want to take extreme measures, but she thought this sort of stuff would be fine.

"Here," May said, opening her notebook. "Just a few characters from anime and video games." Homura narrowed her eyes.

"I saw those from my desk. You drew something else, and hid it as you drew. From what I know of you, you wouldn't do that just because you were drawing explicit or violent stuff in class. And you seemed to hide it specifically from me."

"…I'd rather not show you," May said with a bashful look. I'm stumbling upon something, Homura thought to herself. That bashful look definitely brings up a weird feeling in me….

When Homura returned to her desk, Kyoko and Sayaka resumed their chatter, and May brought up the hidden image in her notebook. Homura would probably see it eventually, but now definitely wasn't the time. And May didn't want to think how it would really turn out if Homura saw… her father.

* * *

During lunch, Kyoko and Sayaka ate separately from the three other Puella Magi in the school. Although Homura and May were both on the roof, they sat a good distance apart from each other. Homura couldn't keep from glancing at May from time to time. She seemed to share that very same look of anxiety and restlessness as Homura, as if she was thinking about a troubled past.

On the way back to class, May bumped into Homura, intentionally but awkwardly. "…T-Thanks," she said. "Just for eating up here with me."

"Any time," Homura said, looking away with mixed feelings of anticipation and regret. When would be the time that May shared her full story? It definitely felt like something that would cause her to break down to some extent doing so… And in the process, would Homura confess her pain too? Maybe it was a bit too soon to think about this, but she didn't feel like it was right to just distance herself from May and let her handle all her own problems like she did. Homura still wasn't too sure about how Mami was doing, but May's case was more interesting and drew more attention from her.

"You have another thing to talk about with us after school?" Sayaka asked as she walked up to May with Kyoko. "Or did you change your mind?"

"I'll talk," May said. "I'll still wait until we're at the café, okay? Is Mami coming along too?"

Sayaka shrugged. "Beats me." As the four girls left the school gates, Mami was waiting for them.

"I thought it would be better than being alone," the blonde said. And so, the five girls walked the short distance to the café, taking a natural order in line. Kyoko and Sayaka were in the front, Mami was in the middle, and May and Homura gathered near the back.

"How powerful are you, in terms of magic?" Homura asked May, still giving in a little to her curiosity.

"Uh, pretty strong, I guess," May said. "I guess you'll find out eventually."

An unnatural sight caught Homura's eye. "I guess 'eventually' is now!" Before a speeding car rammed into a crossing one in the intersection, Homura let loose a purple time-distortion arrow, stopping the speeding car in its tracks. Upon sensing the magic, Sayaka and Kyoko turned to look at the incident. "We can't keep that driver stuck in that time bubble forever. He's possessed by a demon, do you sense it?"

"…Huh?" Sayaka blinked. "Not really… Wait, I kind of sense something." This was weird, Homura thought. Usually the other girls were much keener at perceiving things.

"It's bigger than you think," Homura said. "I'd rather not take chances seeing as all five of us are here. Let's fight it, shall we?"

"…Right," Sayaka said. "I didn't think you'd be the type to request such a thing… Ah," Sayaka looked at May. "Right, let's fight."

As the five Puella Magi entered the barrier in their magical outfits, they stood before an enormous monster coated in heavy muscle, with a futuristic city in the background. The monster appeared to be relatively humanoid besides its odd armor and the fact that it stood on arms instead of legs. "Shall we lead the charge, Kyoko?" Sayaka asked as she drew her sword.

"Let's," Kyoko said as she pointed her spear towards the demon with a smile. "Back us up, will you girls?" With that, Sayaka and Kyoko charged in, and a loud clash of metal was heard as things clanged against the horrid creature's muscles and skin.

"That's some heavy armor right there…" Sayaka said as she painfully recoiled from a deflected stab. "Kyoko, you know what to do!" As the muscled figure threw its weight towards Sayaka, a coil of chains surrounded it and pinned it down to the ground.

"There!" Kyoko exclaimed. "Now we just need some more force - what!" the demon thrashed violently, and broke the chained extension of Kyoko's spear after a short struggle. "Damn it…" Kyoko muttered as she struggled to reconstruct her spear.

"We've got you two covered!" Mami said as she and Homura started firing projectiles. Surprisingly enough, the monster shook off the projectiles even easier than it did the physical attacks.

"When all else fails…" Homura muttered to herself, throwing a purple plasma sticky bomb at the monster. "Kyoko, Sayaka, scatter!" The two melee fighters did exactly that, and in a few seconds a powerful explosion filled the air, and purple mist covered where the monster once was.

"Harrrggh!" the demon screamed as it launched itself out of the smoke directly at Mami and Homura. Mami created a yellow moving ribbon to escape with before the demon smashed a giant crater in the earth where the two girls once stood.

"Really, how should we defeat this…?" Sayaka groaned as Mami and Homura dropped down to their side. "Wait a minute… Where the hell's May?! Wasn't she right behind you two?" Sayaka looked at the crater with apprehension. "Oh, if she just went and kicked the bucket that would be just…"

"Marvelous?" May's voice called out as she rose up to the sky on a pillar of water. The other four girls looked up her in awe. "Sorry for not doing anything so far, but I was just thinking about how to approach this thing before attacking blindly. Oh, and Sayaka, you should be worrying about yourself."

"Huh…?" Before Sayaka could fully state her confusion, the demon lunged out one of its four arms at Sayaka, extending its muscles and balancing on the other three arms. The blow was blocked by a strangely-shaped hunk of black metal surrounded by an odd, glowing aura of orange. "Wait, weren't you just…" Sayaka was looking at May's back side. The hazel-eyed girl had just saved her from a nasty blow. "There?"

"Quit looking flashy, May," Homura said. "If you can finish this, do so. The four of us usually waste a whole lot of time in wars of attrition and such." The monster was still pushing against May's oddly-shaped weapon, which, upon further introspection, seemed to be a ship's anchor with one of its sides broken off.

"Got it," May said and in an instant, the ground the demon was standing on turned into water, and the creature began to be sucked into a whirlpool. May didn't seem to need to perform any hand movements to manipulate the water, but once the demon was deep enough, May slid over to her foe over a stream of water, and smashed it down with her anchor. "He needs to go pretty deep considering his size."

"Drowning him?" Kyoko asked.

"You'll see," May said as she repeatedly shoved the demon downwards until her body disappeared in the deep pool of water as well. A few seconds passed before something started to rise out of the water. It was the demon, but fully unconscious. Another short time passed before May returned to the surface, slinging her anchor across her back. "I had to go pretty deep," May said. "But I guess even monsters get the bends. That being said, anyone care to deliver the final blow?"

"Are you mocking us?" Sayaka asked.

"I'll answer that when the battle is over," May replied. "Mami's not going to use her Tiro Finale…? I don't know, maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't. Anyways, if it's up to me then…" May put the anchor on the ground, and it tripled in size upon being transformed by the orange aura. "When all else fails, use brute force!" With a swift swing and smash of the ridiculously heavy weapon, the demon vibrated on solid ground with evident unease. "Couldn't smash those muscles," May said. "But absorbing enough force would destroy it. You could've done the same thing too had you fought long enough."

The surrounding environment faded away, and all of the girls but May transformed back into middle school girls. "That outfit…" Sayaka muttered. It looked more like a simple tunic than anything impressive, with May coating herself with a short-sleeved jacket, jeans under the skirt, and brown gloves and boots. By chance, she also wore a blue stylish hat, the simply circular kind without ridges. "You really are different, huh?" The outfit was vastly different from the other Puella Magi's, even Zusa's, and didn't fall into line with any culture either. After standing in the street for a while, May returned to her middle school uniform and followed her fellow Puella Magi to the sidewalk. "Now will you tell me why you waited so long to actually make that move?"

"I wouldn't have fit in either way," May said. "If I beat him from the start it would be pretty awkward too… And I'm not good at setting up an easy mode. Now then, are we heading to the café or what?" May stepped in front of the other four girls and started walking. Just as I thought, Homura observed. She really does have some power…

An awkward silence occupied the atmosphere around the four girls until the drinks were served and May started talking. No one really expected an explanation about May's powers, but the hazel-eyed girl was still unpredictable as to what she was going to say next. "So, little girls," May started. "Why do you think pedophiles exist?"

"Middle school girls really shouldn't be talking about this sort of stuff…" Sayaka muttered, but then remembered her pledge to be more open-minded.

"Would any of you accept the explanation that they were just born that way?" May asked. A silence, and then…

"That's not something I'd like to believe," Homura replied. "But given the documentation and reports on such people, I don't think it's their choice. Then again, perhaps some are both attracted to adults and children… I'm not sure where I'm going with this." Homura was pretty uncomfortable, and so were the rest of the girls excluding May.

"Do you think that pedophiles are disgusting though, that they're immoral, and should burn in all hell?" May said. A look of sorrow, hopelessness, and frustration spread across the faces of the four other girls. "It's funny, really," May said grimly. "Earlier in the 20th century, homosexuals were seen as revolting, disgusting human beings, and it was socially acceptable to be mock and bully them. In the modern world, homosexuality is much more accepted, and in addition, the idea that sexual orientation isn't a choice (at least for homosexuals) came up. Well, would sexual interest in children be recognized as something pedophiles were born with if it was socially acceptable? Isn't that strange? To respect something more because the person had less control over it? If the average person in a relatively modern environment found out one of their acquaintances was a pedophile, they'd be like 'you're a sick freak, being into little kids! And I thought I knew you, man', while if the same person found out that the same acquaintance was homosexual, they'd say something more along the lines of 'well, this is coming as a surprise to me, but I guess that's who you are'. And by the way, neither pedophilia nor homosexuality seems to have any reasons that would make a person cling to that sexual orientation."

Sayaka really wanted to tell May to shut up, and was already disregarding her fear of May's power. But although hearing her talk was so painful, she wanted to face that pain instead of brushing it off. "No matter how you look at it, though, pedophilia is just wrong…"

"Is that so?" May asked. "Throughout human history, child brides have existed. It had a rather cruel history, but since happiness isn't something that can be objectively measured, who's to say we're better? And in some older hunter-gatherer tribes, adults sexually play with children with no real sign of psychological damage. Furthermore, you are simply referring to the term 'pedophilia' as a criminal term, but it also has its uses in diagnoses in medical psychology. There are tons of pedophiles, perhaps more than you think, that keep the pain to themselves, guilt-ridden by their terrible thoughts and responsibilities. Perhaps it's more than a sexual orientation…" May wrinkled her eyebrows painfully.

"May…" Kyoko said. "It really looks like you're in pain. Do we really have to talk about this…?"

"If psychology is referred to as the study of behavior and thought processes, it can be hardly qualified to be called a science," May went on. "Behaviors are observable to most people with human vision, but thoughts aren't. People will bring up 'true happiness' and 'fake happiness' when it is really all just dictated by the culture. Even disregarding the times when people lie, they'll oftentimes think of themselves as something they're really not. You can gather an innumerable amount of data and statistics, but there's probably less evidence for a sure way to happiness and morality than evidence that we rose out of electrified slime in the sea, turned into ape-like creatures, and developed into our present-day selves over millions of years. Even disregarding the wide versatility of individual thought, cultures still vary by quite a bit.

"And so, what should we _really_ do with pedophiles, obsessed otakus, and serial killers?" May was going on and on. "What's human nature at its heart? Something that makes excuses, or something that stands up for itself? Well, here's an interactive opportunity for you guys. Are people are more ready to make excuses and blame others or hold themselves accountable for their actions?"

"Didn't you bring up the Fundamental Attribution Error thingy because you agreed with it?" Sayaka asked. "In any case, I feel that people do make excuses more often than they stick to their ideals... It's something I try to avoid doing, I mean…"

"The Fundamental Attribution Error isn't an excuse," May said. "What does the word 'excuse' mean to us, really? That one had no free will over the circumstances and that they had no choice in acting that way? With the way people make excuses (if the aforementioned definition of an excuse is agreed upon), it seems like free will and compassion are supposedly mutually incompatible. But, you know…" May looked up at the ceiling with a sorrow-ridden face. "True freedom fighters don't force it on others. Let's say a group of people abiding by the socio-economic norms pick out somebody that did a very heinous act, and start throwing stones of blame at them. 'Suffer, change!' they yell. 'No excuses!' And the criminal, let's say he is a very intelligent criminal who has read Sartre, says 'Why are you trying to force your opinion on me?' The crowd responds, 'Because what you did was wrong!' The criminal says, 'Why do you think it was wrong? Why is choosing to agree with the popular view on ethics truly the moral thing to do?' And the criminal will say it in such brilliant words that the crowd will understand it. The criminal is either someone that has such strong instincts that they naturally choose the evil path (much like the crowd) or someone that has given so much time and speculation into things that he determined what he did was the best course of action. But the crowd is the one that is self-righteous and just, that is consistently praised and reinforced for just using that instinct of following the crowd. And maybe there will be some powerful speakers in the crowd that will rationalize things, but in the end the debate doesn't draw curtains, happiness is still subjective and there's no way for the crowd to again blindly accept their beliefs. And then, everyone will be free, and everyone will conceive of their own ethics. Would that world be so terrible?"

"Is that your idea of a utopia?" Sayaka asked after a short period of silence. "A world where everyone's instincts are complicated and rationalized to such a ridiculous extent?"

"Thanks for bringing up the idea of a utopia," May said as she licked her lips and drank her sweetened tea. "I was just going to bring up B.F. Skinner's version. You don't really have to know the psychologist, but he was a 20th century behaviorist, a psychologist that studies how people and animals react to influences. Skinner ultimately said that humans have no free will at all due to the rather predictable nature in which humans react to circumstances. A person wants something or thinks something is right because his or her environment reinforces it with pleasure. A person avoids something or destroys something because it is associated with pain. The argument that doing something or the possibility of doing something unfavorable to yourself is an example of free will is supposedly disproved by the fact that the person still acted in his or her own best interest, and that supposedly proving free will was a greater cause worth working towards than other interests. Skinner's idea of a utopia, therefore, was where humans could be conditioned to do whatever was right – that is, conditioned in a positive manner. Punishing someone created the possibility of a rebellion and made people cower in fear and displace their anger instead of making them happy. Although many people disliked Skinner's ideas, he influenced education and parenting so that there were a lot less physical punishments at the very least, and a lot more emphasis on rewards. The overall effectiveness of limiting positive punishment is arguable, but I'm glad that the teacher doesn't smack me with a yardstick."

"I sort of want to hit you with a yardstick," Sayaka said.

"Come to think of it, we are getting something along the lines of a college-level course for free," Mami said jokingly.

"Why would I listen to all of this without getting the credits for it?" Sayaka groaned. "And I think you went from pedophiles to that Skinner guy too fast. Although I did want to get away from the subject of pedophiles, I think that a college level course would offer more scientific examples or something."

"Sayaka, I thought you weren't the type of girl to care about credits, college, and courses," May said. "Even if there were terrible stakes against you, you would do what you thought was right, wouldn't you?"

Sayaka was annoyed, but also a little flattered. "I probably would. Although according to you, that's not something to be praised because people don't have free will…"

"I don't agree with Skinner," May said. "Along with his argument about human reinforcement, the other arguments against free will rest on determinism – that is, the idea that the universe has a single set of laws that must be followed, and that everything that happens is the result of these laws and nothing more. However, I disagree because the observation of consistent laws is as subjective as the existence of free will, which time and time again proves to be a stronger subjective experience for most people. (Although I won't disparage the people that make excuses) As for behaviorism, it only accounts for actions, and not the thoughts behind them. But people follow determinism for more reasons than making excuses for themselves, I believe. It's quite hard to embrace subjectivity, so people will try to find a single explanation for everything – 'why do I exist?' – and for that they give up their dignity. But I guess people will usually attribute their own mistakes to determinism, their successes to free will, others' mistakes to free will and others' successes to determinism. By the way, Sayaka… I do find your spirit admirable, even if it was foolish."

"Right…" Sayaka said. "About me, I guess we can ignore that. I suppose we can finally agree on something here though."

"But it still sort of makes me sad," May went on. "In the end people will feel more sympathy for the person they believe had excuses than the person who confesses their mistakes… No, even if the person repeatedly makes supposed mistakes, he should be more likable because he admitted his freedom and didn't say that everything was merely obligatory… Although the truly free person would rebel against Skinner's behaviorism and do things for their own sake."

"Actually, it's been bothering me for a while, May…" Kyoko said. "You're smart, cute, and would be pleasant company if only if… I mean, you aren't a pedophile, hopeless otaku, or serial killer. Why do you have to spend so much time wondering about morality, subjectivity, free will and all of that stuff when it really is supposedly all just subjective and that you aim for happiness? I mean, you certainly don't look happy during these times, especially when you talk about the… dark stuff. Aren't these things you have absolutely no control over?"

"Philosophers and scholars have pondered those things for years," May said. "Commoners walk by them and remark on how much of their life they're wasting. And I think the ultimate response is 'what's really a waste'? There's always going to be a struggle no matter what, even for the people that make excuses. Since value is arbitrary…" May took in a deep breath. "But beyond that, I think that at times I am worrying on things I might have control over. People two thousand years ago wouldn't have anticipated we live in such secure living conditions, and even in the eighteenth century people thought things like flight were impossible… Sometimes I suppose I just know these things are possible – a human happiness, a happiness greater than the one we live in, and a gentler pain than the ones we feel now. And for some reason, I just know that I can do it, I can find the solution to all of these mysteries – but I'm just trying to find how. Maybe there's wisdom in convention or in the words of other sages, but to me that would be the equivalent of advising myself to roll over and die."

"And so have we rolled over and died, or have you brought us back to life?" Sayaka asked.

"W-Well, that's just for me," May said awkwardly. "I… I'm sorry if I sounded like I was taking pride in myself or justifying anything. In a sense, I think that compassion stems from curiosity. Why else would you want to burden someone else's pain with no guarantee of being paid back?"

"Madoka worried about the Puella Magi a lot," Homura said. "And she changed things for what I believed was the better, even if it's just a little – same with other Puella Magi. Maybe the pain of the rest of humanity, of the freely chosen actions not possessed by demons, is something that has to be worried about by many more people. Maybe a massive change will happen soon, and answers and solutions will be found."

Mami looked up at the clock, and a few eyes at the table followed. The sky outside had already darkened, and it was bordering near 6:00 PM. "It is getting kind of late. Does everyone want to stay here?"

"Personally, I'd rather…" Sayaka started, and then stopped to think. If she wouldn't be talking about strange things with May and the rest of the girls what would she be doing exactly? She didn't really have any type of itinerary with Kyoko, and it wouldn't seem that bad to hang out and eat dinner late for once. Even then, Sayaka had a lot of mixed feelings about what May was going on about.

"Does humanity really need an answer?" May asked, supposedly picking up off of what Homura said. "I think that's a pretty important question. In most of human history, many have been content by following societal law or thinking that the gods willed their actions – but is that a satisfactory answer? In any case, I dislike the idea of an objective reality, because no matter what, there's no way to prove it. Have you ever heard the analogy of Plato's Cave? Basically, in the story Socrates leads one of his followers into a cave where the people there are handcuffed and see shadows on the walls, which they evidently mistake for reality. Upon being taken out of the cave and seeing the world as it truly is, one of the so-called cavemen would be shocked at how he would have been able to be satisfied with the squalid life in the cave. And supposedly if the caveman was thrown back in the cave and told what he saw to the others, he would be excluded and called insane. The analogy seems to hint at the nature of an objective reality or truth and how most people in the world aren't even able to realize it…. But however, what would it be like if someone really came up to you now and said 'I walked out of Plato's Cave'? What would you have to say? A skeptical and doubting mind would surely say something along the lines of 'here, go join the others who have walked out of this cave and disagree with you on a lot of issues'."

"I'm entitled to my opinion and don't need to change it," Sayaka said. "I'm not self-centered enough to say that I was the one that walked out of Plato's Cave…"

"But in regards to the experiences you four girls have gone through, don't you think your lives have been more valuable, or transformed? Or do you really just want to go back to normal and pretend there was no suffering and you never made a contract with Kyubey to begin with?"

"I think it's more because I find my memories important to me rather than logically determining which life is better," Sayaka said. Gazing back, she had really gone through some horrible pain… She and the rest of the girls in the group. But she would've never received Kyoko's comfort in the way she did if she had just gone through a normal life.

"Well, in any case, I don't think the analogy of Plato's Cave holds its glue," May said, "No matter how egotistical I may seem, I don't think I'm really trying to preach truth. I think that man is born into a universe where there is essentially nothing. The world as man enters it is a barren wasteland full of emptiness. But through unconscious and conscious processes, each individual creates his or own cave, given the influences by society and the environment. They can make the cave as wonderful as they imagine it to be, and fill it with gods, demons, and all sorts of interesting stuff. But the problems that arise out of this situation don't really exist because one type of cave is superior to another. It's because people generally are too narrow-minded to go out and explore other sorts of caves, to understand and appreciate other people's minds. They'll drive in with a bulldozer and steal the other people's lands and resources, or deem them crazy and dispose of their unwanted feelings like sorrow, guilt, and despair into other's psychological caves in order to feel morally superior."

"When you compare your word count with ours, it doesn't really seem like you're trying to enter other people's caves," Sayaka said tiredly.

"If you have something better to say, you can say it," May said. "I apologize if it seems like I made it seem like my cave was better…"

"Hmph," Sayaka said, although deep down she was wondering about May's statements. The things she talked about with Kyoko in her spare time were really just things they shared similar views on, and they hadn't even started discussing their pasts. "I don't suppose two people can live in the same cave then?"

"I don't think so," May said. "You can visit other people's caves, but you can't live in them, at least… Not without magic. And even then, my wish only copied my father's memories and thought processes at that specific moment. It's not like I have two streams of consciousness in my head. But yeah, my cave analogy probably describes the vague philosophy I'm holding… Well, I do disagree with my dad on many issues." May sighed. "People don't want to admit they're in a cave, though, and humans generally want to group themselves with others. I'm sure all of you have experienced this, but it really hurts, doesn't it? When you realize that you're not actually sharing the same cave you live in with other people, and that when you drift apart one tiny degree – just differ by a little – you get excluded, and bombarded with the pain of loneliness as you realize that you're not sharing your photocopied, duplicated cave with someone else."

"That's… That's a really good statement," Kyoko said, and then caught herself, becoming a little embarrassed. Probably more than eighty percent of what May was saying was collections of good statements. As she looked into the hazel eyes of her new friend, she wondered about how it really felt like. It was one thing to have a story that was hard to tell to people, but another to constantly carry these sorts of wild and free-roaming thoughts that would only initiate awkward silences when discussed with other people. "…My father probably agreed more along the lines of Plato's Cave and not yours. I don't agree with that stance, but the amount of subjectivity and relativism in yours makes me wonder why you bother caring so much about psychology and philosophy in the first place… Sorry to bring that up again."

"No, it's a valid question," May responded lightly with a smile, supposedly happy that she was sharing her thoughts across caves. "To tell the truth, I really don't know, be it nature or nurture."

"Why care about the mind so much, though?" Sayaka asked. "Why not volunteer distributing food or something instead? Isn't that more important?"

"Many would think so," May said. "I guess I wonder what people will do after their bellies are full, and well… Is living really the most important thing in the world? I'm sure that even in third-world countries, there are people that value people they love more, as when parents sacrifice for their children… Maybe the majority seems to find surviving the most important thing in the world, but wouldn't you disagree? Even if you're not sure you're willing to die or go through hell for something you love, doesn't it seem pathetic to give up everything once a gun is pointed to your head? No, I suppose I phrased that wrong… Even people that are inherently selfish should carry on stories and ideas to tell, don't you think? I wouldn't try to enforce this belief or hold any sort of moral standard, but…"

"Right, I agree on a lot of what you're saying," Sayaka said, her feelings for Kyoko tugging at her heart. "So you'd only really give away food if the person has a reason to live?"

May shrugged. "Sort of, I guess… I'm sure - maybe most people would have something important to them once the topic was brought up, and I wouldn't judge them on that, but it just sort of seems pointless to give people in need something without actually communicating with them and sharing special life stories. If I could easily give away, I would, but given all the complications like how food and stuff is only temporary and that I wouldn't want my life extended briefly with no hope getting out of a bad situation, no… Does that make me seem so horrible?"

"'Horrible' would be one of the few words that would come to mind if I were describing you," Kyoko said. "But… Different. Probably the first one that comes to mind for if you ask just about anybody who knew you." Kyoko looked down at her empty cup. "Was your dad a speaker of any sort?"

"He just wrote novels and books," May said, again seemingly hiding details. "Relatively known, but not famous in any case. Sort of shy and introverted… I sort of carry those traits. Really, I wouldn't be talking so much if I didn't learn to trust you. I definitely wouldn't like to stand in front of a crowd that mostly came to see me because they thought I had degrees, awards, and was recognized and all that. By the way, do you know? Shyness is being afraid, while being introverted is disliking crowds and noise and such. So you can probably be a shy extrovert. My dad's father was pretty much just an introvert, while his mother was probably a shy extrovert until she got over it and then became a normal extrovert…"

"I don't really see my grandparents all that often," Sayaka said. "That's right, wasn't it an Asian tradition or something to have close ties to grandparents? But I think the generation gap is…" Sayaka looked at the expression on May's face and smiled deviously. "What? Is a normal conversation that painful to participate in? Okay then. I'll put the spotlight back on you then, o wise prophet."

"I actually had more to say about Skinner," May said. "But you can talk about whatever you want if that's what you're interested in. I had a feeling that you four wouldn't have much to talk about though."

"Go on," Homura said. Her mind had honestly drifted in the course of May's series of rants, but still returned every now and then to try and pick up secrets that might be dropped. Maybe May was being honest, but she definitely didn't satisfy Homura's curiosity just yet.

"Hmm…" May said as she looked over to Homura. "Alright, we'll talk more about Skinner. Even if we do accept that positive reinforcement is the best way to condition behavior, it's hard to figure out what works for what people. Most things that are used as rewards cost money to get, and ignoring that factor, people eventually demand more and more. Once listening to 'good job!' or getting a toy becomes normal, people want more – and then it becomes a power struggle where the conditioned may now become the conditioner. Of course, it goes that way for punishments too. Once you get punished or beaten enough, you start to get used to it and not even care anymore, and then the beatings just worsen until the conditioned person gets beaten to death, which isn't an appropriate way to treat a human being at all. And then there ends up being positive rewards for negative behavior. When someone comforts a crying child, that child may associate crying with comfort and thus cry even more. In that way, it's almost impossible to teach people independence and creativity with either positive or negative reinforcement. If you tell someone 'be creative!' there comes the question 'what is creativity?' and to be honest I really don't know. But for a more interesting question, how should we condition the hopeless otakus that are attached to fictional characters? Anybody?"

"Just cut their disgusting little heads off or tweak something in their brains," Sayaka said grimly.

"You wouldn't really do such a thing, would you?" May asked.

"The positive reinforcement might work," Kyoko suggested. "Give them work and something to earn. Although in some really desperate cases the person is attached to the character rather than just buying images and merchandise, that probably wouldn't work…"

Homura looked at May inquisitively, and felt like May had brought up something key to her background, but decided not to say anything. It was still too early. "…I think it's best to leave the otakus as they are," May said. "As sad as it seems, if we tell them something like 'grow up!' or 'get a grip!' that may incite anger rather than independence, and they may leave their mark of revenge on the real world. Their attachment to fiction may be one of the last threads of compassion and humanity they have left, and something they're going to desperately cling onto. Perhaps the best way to deal with them is to just reinforce their current condition instead of spitting at it. Maybe outside of reinforcement, they'll actually learn to come out to reality and such…"

"I'm not sure how many otakus you know," Sayaka said. "But I'm sure the wide majority of them aren't desperate lovers that we should feel compassion for."

"But what do people feel compassion for?" May asked. "They feel compassion for excuses. Well, maybe 'excuses' is the wrong term. But the majority feels compassion for the majority, when they already have enough people to comfort them and gaze in awe at how strong they are for going through their life. Maybe it's not even the majority. Maybe people are just conditioned by society to feel compassion for some people and say 'oh, he deserves better' while completely disregarding the pain of others and say 'that's a terrible person'. Really, how oftentimes is the supposed fact that someone wasn't conditioned correctly in his or her childhood accepted as an excuse? And there goes the question of whether humans really want freedom, but the time…" May looked up at the clock. "6:45. In any case, I guess I've introduced you to many other caves by now. Now tell me, do you still feel the same attachment to things that are supposedly considered normal?"

"It doesn't really have to do anything with being normal," Sayaka said. "I think being… shallow, or whatever you want to call it, is just me."

"You'll be surprised at how often people use normality as the reason for why they're making fun of someone, saying something hurtful, or ignoring the pain of specific types of people. And in any case, even if it's not normal they live in a sub-community full of standards. Reasons should be at least somewhat individually developed, don't you think?"

"Whatever," Sayaka said, getting up to leave, paying her share of the bill. "Maybe I've said more than my share of clichés today."

"Sayaka, I wasn't accusing you," May said as she split her own part. "You contributed a lot to the discussion." Although May said that, Sayaka gave her a doubtful eye. "Where'd you jump to that conclusion, honestly?"

"Crap, I forgot to bring an umbrella," Kyoko said as she left the café to discover it was raining.

"Jeez, you airhead," Sayaka said as she opened her umbrella and took Kyoko under it. "Didn't you read the weather forecast?"

"By the way, if you guys want to hang out tomorrow, that'd be fine," May said as she walked into the moderately heavy rain. "I'll be going around checking apartments to see if anyone's interested."

"You're going to catch a cold," Homura said as she opened up her umbrella and shared it with May. Mami had her own, and seemed to be doing fine.

"T-Thanks," May said, blushing faintly upon being close to Homura's presence.

"So the philosopher's only as good as the airhead when it comes to reading weather forecasts, huh?" Mami observed.

"May," Kyoko turned to the hazel-eyed girl, still with things she wanted to say. "How old are you, fourteen? And you're worrying about this stuff…"

"My dad started thinking about this stuff at twelve, sort of," May said. "He wanted to know the underlying reasons on why there were so many depressing articles in the news, or something like that. By fourteen he was writing original stories, but the main reason they weren't too hot was well…" May sighed. "I don't know. It really sucks when you have to analyze stories in English class. My dad wanted to say things flat out like in philosophical novels, and that created a feedback loop where he would try harder and harder to reason and such. By seventeen he was… Well, I guess I can talk about it later. In any case, he wasn't really as exceptional as me in subjects outside of the arts and philosophy. But I suppose that's besides the issue. I don't see why age should bar me from thinking about such stuff. It's got nothing to do with being a genius or whatever. I don't like putting off things I care about."

"I'd say it's more of a curse," Sayaka said. "Even if we do ignore the notion of blameworthiness. While it's nice to listen to you sometimes, I definitely wouldn't want to be you."

"I wouldn't want to be you, either," May said.

"I wouldn't want to be any of you," Mami said playfully.

"I suppose we can all take the fact that none of us want to be another person as a compliment," Homura said as she closed the umbrella upon reaching the apartment complex.

Sayaka shook off her umbrella on the mat before hanging it up on a hook, and spent the next few seconds standing with Kyoko in the room awkwardly. "Well, that was some crazy stuff."

"Y-Yeah…" Kyoko said. "Being a Puella Magi is one thing, but the worlds May's going to with her feelings and ideas…"

"Well, what do you think?" Sayaka asked as she sat down on the bed. "Are we doing the right thing?"

"I-I don't know," Kyoko said, reflecting upon all of the painful memories she had gone through in her life. "I suppose this isn't too bad of a price to pay for your resurrection…"

"It's the second night, and May doesn't seem to be the type that would kill anyone just because she was angry, even if it was someone she resurrected," Sayaka said as she began to lie down, her legs dangling over the side of the bed. "Well, hopefully I don't end up stupid enough to get her really angry."

"Do you think it's right, though…?" Kyoko asked as she sat down next to Sayaka. "To talk about her and ourselves as we're just people to be conditioned…?"

"Who knows?" Sayaka said. "I don't think I have the mind to be a psychologist or counselor, but what about you?"

"Right, I suppose if we do live longer than our middle school days…" Kyoko wondered. "I was thinking about the whole thing of leaving on my family's legacy. Since we've started living like this, I haven't brought up the stories of my past… Mind if I do it now? I'll try to make it short, really."

Sayaka looked up at Kyoko from her position lying down. "Go for it."

"My father's father was a little different," Kyoko said. "He was hypocritical in a lot of ways, even though he deeply regretted it and said that the very crimes he indulged in were bad to his children. My father therefore was a lot stricter… Christianity, or something of that sort was in our family for quite a time. I sort of abandoned any spiritual beliefs after the disaster I encountered upon being a Puella Magi, and May would just say that religion is just something that's conditioned, but I really find myself wondering… What would God want us to do?"

"Hmph," Sayaka chuckled. "I'd do the right thing regardless of whether or not God wants it. Of course…" Sayaka's eyes turned towards the ceiling. "Most of what I think is right just sort of involves protecting you, Kyoko." A brief flush was shared by both of the girls. "I guess we've found our first real difference, then, huh?"

"I was speaking of God more as a concept…" Kyoko said embarrassedly.

"Maybe, but you're no May," Sayaka said as she got up and turned to Kyoko. "But that sort of stuff doesn't matter. I agree with May in that each person makes their own cave, but I don't agree on her stance that we can't share it. I mean…" Sayaka's voice trailed off quickly. "I think I was shallow before… before you came, that is. I still consider him – Kyousuke - to be a very talented person, but I only liked him because of his talent. I was impressed, that was all, and because he stood among the crowd I made my wish for him. But listening to May made me feel that there's unrecognized talent all around me, and suffering too. I don't have to like something because it's special, or do something just because God says so. While a relationship between two girls isn't exactly… common or special, I don't think we have to worry about anything beyond that." Sayaka took Kyoko's hands with a confident smile.

"Right," Kyoko said, gently squeezing the delicate palms back. "The rate of divorce in modern countries these days is absurd, at least that's what I heard…" Kyoko looked at her legs sheepishly, and Sayaka's smile faded. "We must be lucky, right? I think a lot of people in the world are stuck in their own caves trying to pretend that they're normal. And beyond that…"

"Well then," Sayaka said as she put on her smile again. "Let's enjoy our luck, shall we?"

"…Let's," Kyoko said, still thinking about May, her father, and all of the other lonely people in the back of her mind.

* * *

"Don't push yourself," Zusa said as May returned to her apartment.

"What are you doing here?" May said as she sniffed the air and entered her dining room. "I thought you had your own apartment."

"I thought I'd make dinner for you," Zusa said. "We can't have you eating junk food every day, or worse yet, nothing…"

"Right," May said as she looked at the steaming rice and vegetables on the plate. "Thanks for the food." With that, May and Zusa began eating their meal with a quiet aura surrounding them. May still didn't trust Zusa completely, and even if she did…

"I'm not going to be there for you, you know," Zusa said as she picked off the last scraps on her plate. "The multiverse is falling apart quicker than it usually does, and healing time-space distortions takes a lot of time. I know it's only the second day, but I didn't think you'd spend so much time playing around."

May stopped in the middle of raising her spoon to her mouth, and then put the spoonful in, chewed, and swallowed. "I didn't think I was essential to the survival of the universe. Didn't the act of saving me from being vaporized into nothingness violate some sort of code? Wasn't that one of the actions, along with Sayaka's resurrection, that caused the multiverse to start tearing faster than usual?"

"Well, I care about your well-being," Zusa said. "After all, you are the only thing he had left…"

"And yet you brought me to this world instead of returning me to my original one," May said.

"I already said this," Zusa said, getting a little frustrated. She had expected May to be much more aggressive, but maybe girls were calmer after all. "You were stuck between two universes and this one was closer. Plus, you'll gather a lot of valuable stuff here that might make the relationship with your dad better."

"Maybe…" May said. "Or maybe it would only make things worse. You know, I don't completely agree with my dad's philosophy about children."

"His story's over," Zusa said. "Seeing you happy, knowing you're happy together with the person you love – or like, whatever – that would be something he'd want." Zusa paused, reading May's face for clues. "You do like her, don't you?" She shared all her father's thoughts and feelings, after all…

"Daddy was an idiot that never grew up," May said, upset as she stormed up into the bedroom. And as the hazel-eyed girl threw herself on the bed prostrate, she cried. All of the thoughts, memories, and ideas that bombarded her mind was enough, but the feelings were another thing altogether. The stupidity, the curiosity, the compassion that made her take on pains she didn't know how to deal with was something her father had never bothered to stop her from doing, and now she carried his thoughts. Twice tried, and twice failed… Was she destined to carry on her father's fate? She had just wanted to maintain friendships and gather opinions, but deep down, her heart said that wasn't enough for her. And there's that whole lover's paradox thing, too… May thought. The problem could be hided, but it couldn't be solved. She loved Homura.


	3. Negligibility

Negligibility

Kyoko was apparently done talking about her painful past after that odd Friday night. She didn't seem to drag out anything or seem self-absorbed, much unlike May. These facts reminded Sayaka why the person she was sleeping with every night was worth much more than anything in the world, but however…

"Are we doing the whole hanging out with May thing?" Sayaka asked as she shook Kyoko in bed. The new Puella Magi certainly could be a bit too energetic and stressful in her manners, but Sayaka wondered how fast she would reasonably need to develop her character and her relationship with Kyoko. It was unknown how much time in the world she had left remaining, whether her resurrection would be revoked or if she and Kyoko would die in combat, but letting things progress naturally just seemed a bit too slow. While modern culture did put an emphasis on age and pacing, Sayaka felt that the standards probably need not apply in such a unique situation.

"I don't know," Kyoko said as she rolled about in bed. It was already almost eleven AM, and Kyoko's sleeping habits had influenced Sayaka to a degree. It was just too cozy, after all. "Knowing May, she might drag out the thing to last the entire day." Kyoko turned over. "We're running out of stuff in the refrigerator, so perhaps we should go shopping first."

"…Right," Sayaka said as she threw her legs across the side of the bed. "Are you going to stay in bed or what?"

Apparently this week, Kyoko had decided to eat healthier stuff than usual, or maybe she had just gotten tired of junk food. While Sayaka wasn't sure if that wasn't something all that important considering the bodies of Puella Magi, she still took note of it. As the couple walked through the aisles, they made casual talk about the prices and tastes of food. And to think of it, Sayaka thought. We're living double lives as Puella Magi, too. Meanwhile, far before May even became a Puella Magi she was probably talking about nothing but psychology and philosophy. That girl really is weird…

"Geez, Sayaka, here I'm trying to eat better stuff, and you're putting potato chips in the cart…" Kyoko said.

"I was just thinking that I might bring it over when we meet up with May," Sayaka said as she dropped the chips in. "All right, then. Is this all?"

Upon returning to the apartment with their hands full of bags, Kyoko and Sayaka met the other three Puella Magi. "Oh, you didn't make us wait long," May said, putting on an excited face as if she had indeed been eagerly waiting for a while. "Here, let me help you unload the stuff into the fridge."

"That won't be necessary," Sayaka said as she stumbled a bit, almost dropping one of the bags. She opened the apartment door with her key, and walked to the fridge awkwardly, bringing out all the stuff in her bag. May was outside the door tapping her foot, clearly discontent with waiting for others.

"All done?" May asked as Kyoko and Sayaka left the room. "All right then." She didn't even wait for an answer… Sayaka thought. "We're heading over to Mami's place, since I think it's the biggest of all ours, and making and eating lunch there. Sandwiches, you know, nothing special,." Sayaka noticed that May also had a decent sized bag behind her. "We might work on homework too, and do other sorts of fun stuff."

Cutting and grilling the filling of the sandwiches proved to be a relatively manual process, and after an hour or so, about ten sandwiches were presented in the dining room on a large plate. "My, my, just think about how much farming was put into making all of this," May said. "By the way, have you heard of the way they treat animals in food farms? Pretty nasty stuff, although it's probably better here in Japan than in America. It sort of makes one wonder 'should I be eating this?'"

"Save me the details," Sayaka said as she took one of Kyoko's sandwiches onto her own smaller paper plate. "We came here instead of meeting at the café for a reason, so I expect something more than a depressing rant."

"Well, I thought you were the righteous one," May said as she took one of Homura's sandwiches.

"Let's just eat," Homura said as she picked up one of May's sandwiches and observed it. The five girls started doing just that, and as for conversations went, Mami, Kyoko, and Sayaka were grouped together, and Homura and May were sitting together awkwardly. "You don't put enough meat in yours," Homura said as she observed the way the five girls each made their sandwiches. May's sandwiches were lined with special sauces, cheeses, peppers and a moderately thin slice of meat. Kyoko's had about three stacks of meat and hardly anything else. Sayaka's were a bit sloppy in the sense that the fillings seemed to be unintentionally imbalanced and the sandwiches were falling apart a bit. Both Mami's and Homura's appeared normal, with Mami's fillings being a little thicker.

"I don't eat that much," May admitted as she took another bite of Homura's sandwich. "So, what do you think? Is it nature or nurture that we're not talking as much as the other three? Or should I say we're not as good at talking…"

"I don't know," Homura said. "I cried a lot in my childhood, and so sort of learned to distance myself from people. Now it's just sort of hard to ignore the whole fact that I am a Puella Magi and the only one… I mean, I guess besides the ones that watch over this universe… The only one that remembers Madoka."

"I didn't really like crowds and people," May said. "I don't know, perhaps there's an interesting phenomenon. I sort of had to consciously think of how to fit in with social tact, and this was before school. On the playground and with almost anyone but my dad…" A faint haze grew over May's eyes again. "But let's not talk about that. I guess I thought that I needed to only say the important things because people didn't really want to listen to all the thoughts you were thinking of, and before I knew it, I ended up talking about this psychology-philosophy crap. And then now people will probably say that what I'm saying isn't worth listening to. It's so important that it becomes unimportant. Taoist paradox, huh?"

"I think it's worth listening to," Homura said. "I may just not be the best listener. I think we all have thoughts that need to be kept in our heads, probably even as we speak. It just feels pretty insincere to just fit in with what's socially acceptable when what you're really thinking would make people think you're crazy, huh?"

"Thanks," May said with a comforted smile, causing that odd feeling of familiarity to rise inside of Homura.

"So then, what do you have planned for us?" Kyoko asked as she turned to May. Through the conversations, apparently the five girls had already finished the sandwiches.

"Video games, I guess," May said as she took an old-looking console out of her bag and plugged the wires into the TV. "This is relatively old, but it should still be fun."

"Those are video games?" Sayaka asked. "I thought these days, people just put a screen over their heads and immerse in their weird fantasy world or disgusting otaku world or whatever. So this actually has controllers, like the ones in the arcades…"

May shrugged. "This was one of the existing consoles in my dad's childhood, which was sometime in the first decade of 2000." May plugged in four controllers and slid them across the floor. "Four can play this," she smiled.

"Was Zusa too cheap to get you a newer system, or what…?" Sayaka asked as she held the controller awkwardly in her hands.

"Old games are still fun," May said. "Sometimes a controller is better than a touch-screen…" The game was Super Smash Bros. Melee, which to May's surprise, none of the girls had really heard of before. "I guess one of us will have to stay out. I'll volunteer if you guys want to…"

"I'll watch the first round," Homura said. For some unknown reason, this wasn't the direction she thought May would have gone… Definitely it seemed like she would pick a game that would yield more psychoanalytic stuff or whatever, but this just seemed like it was for fun.

"For a puffball, you sure are putting up an annoying fight," Kyoko said as Captain Falcon threw attacks awkwardly at a floating Jigglypuff. "What the…?! Did she just sleep on me? I went flying…"

"This is still really weird," Sayaka said as she ran back and forth with Marth. "The characters are so small, and you die by edging instead, and what is this percent thing… Oh great. She sleeps on me too."

"It's probably best to keep your distance," Mami said as she attempted to bombard Jigglypuff with thunderballs. In the end, however, May's jump-spam weaving and Rest combos proved too powerful for the other girls, and she ended the game at a low percentage with two stocks.

"Did you play this game all day with your dad when not reading high-class books or what?" Sayaka asked as she put down the controller.

"I don't know," May shrugged. "I just happen to learn things fast for some reason…" May turned over to Homura, who had brought out her homework. "Here, you should probably play." May slid the controller over to the purple-eyed girl. "You shouldn't spend all day doing your Homu-work."

"No one's laughing," Homura responded quickly, but with such a response, the other girls had to chuckle a little. "So you are capable of doing something normal, are you?" Homura asked May. "You just can't talk about normal things, but when you're actually doing something you're not all that different."

"She beat us pretty badly, though," Sayaka yawned.

"I'll play," Homura said as she took up the controller and chose Fox.

"So if we psychoanalyze this," May said, commenting as she watched the game. "Sayaka chooses the pretty boy with a sword, Kyoko chooses the buff tan guy with flames, Mami chooses the yellow rat and Homura chooses a two-legged Fox that shoots lasers and does kung fu."

"We don't want your psychoanalysis," Sayaka said, beginning to mash hard. "Damn it, Fox, stop running around and firing lasers, and what is this blue hexagonal thing that knocks me back…? Kyoko, let's team up on her. Crap, I hit you instead…"

A few games were played, with May switching off with Homura and Mami. Kyoko and Sayaka were really getting into it as the sounds of the buttons mashing became clearer and clearer. "I guess now you can see the appeal of older games, don't you? You actually have to work your thumbs, and the button mashing actually becomes quite rhythmic."

"We could've just talked about shopping and new products like normal girls," Homura said as she slid away her controller after being defeated. "Or would that be too shallow?"

"See, you're nothing without running, haha…" Sayaka said with her eyes still stuck to the TV.

"Mami, Homura and I will pull out a new game," May said deviously as she reached into her big bag of stuff. "You still know Twister, right?" May pulled out a mat with colored spots on it.

"Basically, I'd have to put my hand or foot on a color where the spinner tells me to…" Homura said. "I'll probably be the spinner and not the participant…"

"Oh no," May said. "I want to play with you. Mami will spin."

"I'd rather not get tangled up with you…" Homura started.

"Pleaseeeee…" May leaned forward, giving Homura her best puppy-dog eyes. For some reason I can't refuse, Homura thought.

"Oh, all right," Homura said.

"First of all, Koyomi-onii-chan, why don't you take off your sweatshirt…?" May asked.

"Huh?" Homura was confused. "Oh, I suppose it would get in the way." Homura took off her jacket and stretched her limbs. She didn't know who would win, but she supposed that would be the fun.

After a few spins by Mami, May and Homura got a lot more tangled up than they needed to be. Homura supposed that May was going on the offensive, but May was making it inconvenient for herself as well, and blushing, of all things. I suppose it's natural for a girl… Homura thought. "Hahaha…" Mami said. "You two look hilarious."

"I can't believe you bothered to stretch this much," Sayaka said as she paused the match to look at the Twister game. "Both of you must really want to win, huh?" May started laughing all of a sudden, and all of the girls started to giggle. Even Homura let out a faint chuckle.

"Let's keep going," Mami said. "Right foot green." A series of tangling and untangling followed. "You know, you could just give each other the orders…"

"Determining it by luck is more fun," May said, starting to tire out, her legs tangled across Homura's body. "Uh… Mami? Next orders?"

"Sorry, this match is pretty intense," Mami said as she watched Sayaka and Kyoko spar with each other in-game, with Kyoko now playing as Roy.

"Got you," Sayaka said after rolling past Kyoko's counter and using a forward smash, ending the match then and there. "You use the B moves way too much."

Kyoko sighed. "But they're flashy and cool. Hang on a bit. I have to go to the bathroom."

"So then," Mami said as she turned back to May and Homura. "Where were we…?" May was really beginning to tire out, and Homura smiled smugly upon noticing that. "Left hand red."

After hearing the toilet flush, May decided to give up. "After that, Sengoku's mom suddenly came home." May put her right foot on a random blue spot, ignoring the orders completely. "I-I didn't tell them you were coming over!" The tone of her voice suddenly changed. "She'll get mad! She'll get mad! If she sees me dressed this way, she'll think I'm a pervert…." With that, May thrust her body in a random direction, and two girls collapsed on the mat still partially tangled. Kyoko walked in on the scene with a confused smile.

"You could've just said you were going to give up," Homura said, evidently annoyed.

"I wonder why…" May continued her obscure reference. "I think the fact that there was a problem at her workplace saved something important for me, as a man."

"I think she's gone crazy again," Sayaka said as Homura squeezed out from under May's body.

"I'll admit that I'm crazy if you can handle me brushing your teeth for five minutes," May said as she popped up from the mat with an airy smile.

"Yeah, she's definitely gone crazy."

It turned out that the five girls were going to hang around for dinner. It just ended up being more convenient as much of the afternoon ended up being spent on homework and games. Kyoko and Sayaka had taken their turn at Twister, and different games like The Game of Life, Jenga, and UNO were brought out. As Homura observed May during this time, she saw yet another familiar look on May's face, but this one was far more transparent. Upon seeing May's smile, it seemed like she hadn't had any peers to play with in her childhood, and was really now just making friends. That's right, it's the same for me too… Homura thought. I wonder if there's anybody else out there… These sorts of smiles and laughs were precious, after all, and how many people were deprived of them while knowing their existence?

"Sorry it had to be takeout," May said as she swallowed a mouthful of chow mein. "I didn't know if we were going to be staying here this long. Thanks for having us over, Mami."

"No problem," Mami said with a smile. "It definitely beats spending the night alone." There was a slightly tense silence as if everyone expected something more to be said from May.

"I guess I was going to bring up some more weird psychoanalytical stuff," May admitted. "Sorry if it really seems like I can't have a single normal day of my life."

"You don't have to say sorry…" Sayaka said uncomfortably. "Just keep being you and being true to your heart. I think that if you weren't here, we wouldn't have been able to spend an afternoon like this, to be honest… Just say whatever needs to be said." Sayaka began to regret saying those words a little after saying them.

"I don't know…" May said nervously. "I know we're middle school students and all, but do you ever think of… Having kids?" That odd sense of quietness rose into the air again.

"Who would I have a kid with?" Sayaka broke the silence.

"I just sort of mean having a kid in general, maybe even adoption…" May attempted to clarify.

Sayaka blinked. "I don't think that's something I'd care much for, to be honest. I don't really pay much attention in science class, but even if I'm entering a stage of my life where I'm ready to reproduce, I don't feel the urge to yet. I'm not sure that I'll ever want to, considering the lifespans of Puella Magi and how our bodies are constructed… I guess considering desire alone, I don't think I'll reach the age when I actually want a kid or something."

"Didn't you play house and play with dolls when you were little, though?" May asked.

"I don't think that sort of stuff in my childhood is ingrained within my present self…" Sayaka said. "Um. This is kind of embarrassing, but I guess after hearing Kyosuke play the violin I never really bothered much for those sorts of things."

"Playing house made me sad," Homura said. "It always gave off a perfect standard that I could never really reach."

"I don't think it's something I remember too well," Kyoko said.

"Me neither," said Mami.

"Have you ever asked your parents why they had you? I mean, I guess on a larger scale people will ask why they exist in general and turn to God, but this is a much simpler question…"

"I think parents just say something about wanting something in their lives that would go beyond themselves," Sayaka said. "Are you just curious or what? I thought you put an emphasis on the individual forging his own path or something like that."

"Just curious," May said. "Because my dad admitted to me pretty early on that he didn't plan to have me, although he loved my existence anyways. He said something about always wanting a child so that he could protect and nurture someone and give him or her all the freedom and knowledge in the world, but also mentioned the more common, more probable reasons on why people have children. He said that deep down, most people probably think that there's nothing after death, so in a sense they have children so some part of them – even if it's only have of their genetic codes – can live on for much longer, even if the sun would swallow the earth whole one day or humanity might blow itself up. He said that parents probably have children without realizing why they do, that is, to extend their own ego. A lot of parents really want their children to be like them… Realizing this, he wanted to give me as much freedom as possible. I don't know if it's genes or anything, but I ended up like him and I don't hate it, and now I wished to have his thoughts."

"That's… a rather depressing view," Sayaka said. "I guess that's another reason to believe in your whole 'man creates his own cave' theory."

"Of course, there are the people that would want to escape from such a cycle," May said, looking at a blank spot on the wall. "There are the devoutly religious that don't have children at all, and then there's us, the Puella Magi. What are we supposed to be? Egoless, yet noble beings that don't extend our selves? Eternal youth? But to think that we made our wishes so whimsically…" A short silence passed, and an ancient spark lit up in May's eyes. "My dad said that it's just natural for a parent to sacrifice everything for a child, no matter how hard it may seem. By creating it, the parent cursed the child with its ego and thrust upon it the painful nature of existence. The only way to let the child break the curse is to let it run free… Or something like that." May paused. "Most middle school girls don't live by themselves in apartments, right?"

"I guess we've become a lot more than children," Mami said. "Besides the whole fact that our souls are in stones now, we're inhuman in yet another way."

"But on another note…" May said as she looked up at the ceiling. "Ever heard of the Oedipus complex? Basically, Sigmund Freud thought that all males wanted to have sex with their mothers and kill their fathers unknowingly – much like the ancient Greek tragedy where a king unknowingly did those things because he was determined by the gods. The father is just in competition for power, while the mother… Do you want me to continue?" The four other girls had rather disturbed looks on their faces.

"Go on," Homura said, biting down her disgust.

"It's a scary world for men out there, and I think that's why they do crazy, horrible things. Biologically speaking, males don't really serve much purpose in nature besides producing sperm. The female has to carry the child, raise and breast-feed it, so perhaps this notion of meaninglessness is buried in the back of the brain of a human male. In the end they can really only do sex and violence, because that's what nature designed them to be. Men try to break free from this notion with philosophy, arts, and a heavy load of misogyny over recorded human history (ancient hunter-gatherer tribes and most other animals are matriarchal though), but the fact that they're just competitive sperm banks still lingers deep in the unconscious. With sex, however, it's almost like being in the womb again, when you're protected and cherished from the outside world. And the mother is where the man had originated and developed from."

"Isn't this sexist towards men?" Sayaka asked. "Surely, there's evidence that…"

"Maybe modern psychology will say something different, but psychology varies across cultures," May said. "In any case, Freud didn't believe this, and he was quite the misogynist. He just noticed little boys wanting to marry their mothers (which my father supposedly did in his early childhood) and concocted such a complex. Most of his theories were based off the roots of nature – male nature that is – which he believed to be sex and aggression."

"And this only happens to men?" Kyoko asked.

"Little girls want attention from their daddies, but don't want to marry them as often," May said. "Of course, that theory does exist and it's called the Electra complex. In the original story, however, Electra is merely avenging her father's disgraceful assassination. Her father, Agamemnon, sort of slept around with slave-girls though… I'm getting off topic. But yeah. While the Oedipus complex seems sort of natural, the Electra complex is just weird. The Oedipus complex is like returning to a more comfortable place, where the father-daughter incest in general is sort of weird since you're putting part of your body into something that came out of the same part…"

"Did you talk about this with your dad?" Sayaka asked.

"We talked about everything," May said. "But on the Electra complex note, I guess I have to bring up pedophiles again. The reverse Oedipus and reverse Electra complex, in which the parent has feelings for their child, aren't documented at all, but it really is interesting to note. The reverse Electra complex is like breaking the chain of descendants, breaking the cycle of humanity. Time doesn't really heal wounds – rather, it ignores them. To break this cruel cycle of time and to ignore reason completely… I think that might be why pedophiles exist, huh? Something weird happened in their childhood and they want to revisit it. Of course they may have been just born that way. The life expectancy of humans has risen drastically over the past few centuries, and people probably had to mate earlier in the past to ensure shorter cycles. Oh, I also guess that time travel stories have their appeal for that very reason. Which perhaps leads to fat, greasy middle-aged men sitting in front of their computer looking at lolicon."

Homura let out a grim chuckle. "So I feel like I'm being tied in with incestuous fathers and pedophiles now. Incidentally, did something happen in your childhood that made you go on about all this stuff, May? Do you have the Electra complex, or did your father have the reverse Electra complex?" The conversation took an unexpected turn.

"W-Well not really, I mean…" May began, and then sharply cleared her throat. "Daddy never touched me. Even if it was something he would do, he would probably get my informed consent and tell me about all of the opposing views and health hazards first."

"So you're a coward, aren't you, May?" Sayaka asked with a playful smile. "You talk about the sort of stuff but you don't go out and try it. Certainly there weren't any moral restraints, right?"

"Like I said, it's just weird to put something in somebody's something when that somebody came out of your something, or to have somebody put their something into your something when you came out of that somebody's something…" May said. "And what about you, Sayaka? Have you actually made any moves on Kyoko or what?"

"What?" Sayaka exclaimed. "Why you…!"

"Let's calm down, guys," Kyoko said. "It's best to only do things when you're ready. Maybe May seems to be the type of person to do things fast, but you really don't have to expect her to… Have sex with her father, do you?" The words came out so awkwardly.

"Thanks, Kyoko," May said. "Maybe it's not necessarily a moral restraint, but there's also just lack of desire and other psychological factors. That being said, I wouldn't find it immoral if a man happened to live forever and lack harmful recessive genes that would be carried in incest, and reproduce with his daughters and then infinitely with the daughters of those daughters… I'd just find it really weird."

"If you'd find it really weird, I'd need to run a number of reallys off an A4 sheet of paper to describe how weird it was," Sayaka said. Homura rolled her eyes and looked away. She had actually been semi-serious in asking that question. I wonder what it would be like if Madoka was here, Homura thought.

"So our moral guideline is still 'no one gets hurt', huh?" Kyoko asked. "I guess that's what it should be if we travel outside of Japan someday and find that we have to deal with strange cultures or something."

"Right," May said. "On another note, I'm going to talk about weird pop culture stuff again. I know you don't like disgusting otakus, Sayaka, but what I'm going to say sort of ties in to what I've been saying. Does it seem wrong that anime and manga sort of seem to 'sell' young girls? Obviously no one's really getting hurt, and the stuff is censored on television and oftentimes they exclude actual sex from the shows… But it's interesting, right? In fan-made doujins and such they'll draw anything with a schoolgirl uniform and a vagina, and sometimes not even the latter. I mean, they're going to make anime art styles with such large, moe-blob doe eyes and give the schoolgirl uniforms and special outfits short skirts and paint flushes on their cheeks and still try to make it look pure, of course there's going to be thoughts and fanmade stuff trying to take advantage of that 'purity'. It's really strange, I mean. They have those dakimakuras – you know what those are, right? Pillow casings with anime girls on them, oftentimes in erotic positions. Is this sort of stuff needed to calm down the savage beasts inside of some men, or what?"

"I just have to stick to my original conclusion that otakus are disgusting," Sayaka said. "Sure my opinion is subjective and is based off of the fourteen years of my experience, but I'll still hold on to it."

"If they want to travel through time and revisit youth so badly, they should be the one making contracts with Kyubey," Homura said.

"Well, do you girls think it's better to have them objectify these special characters in special worlds, or objectify women in general? It's funny, the way you can advertise them… It's find 'this special character to do things with!' rather than 'find a girl to do XXX stuff with!' Should we respect this weirded obsession as love or what? I suppose companies these days make profits in dirtier manners, though."

"Why the hell would I respect that?" Sayaka asked. "It's not really true love, just a mix of psychological factors and perversions that causes their obsessions. And even if it was true love, you don't go around taking your hat off whenever you hear someone's getting married."

"Define true love," May said. "A few centuries ago, your type of love with Kyoko probably wouldn't be considered true and just a delusion caused by demons… But before you do that, is anything in this world actually 'true'? Break it down to bits and bits like scientists do, and you'll find out that our bodies are made out of collections of molecules bound together by string, and within them atoms, which are mostly just empty space anyways. Our world seems to be created purely by chance or random variations that took place in the natural laws of physics. But even if we were created and set forth by a God, and even if we had some way to measure whether love was really true, wouldn't it be shallow to not go beyond that? Why would that give our lives deeper meaning? And so, our 'meaning' is probably just something we arbitrarily constructed so that we can feel better about ourselves. There is no physical evidence that an emotional attachment to someone is more than that on a spiritual level – take some tools and you'll find that a collection of chemicals are just running in your brain. Hell, there's no evidence that reality exists because our senses are often times faulty and inaccurate…"

"You really want to rip apart every absolute statement I say, do you?" Sayaka asked. "True love is simple, it goes both ways, or eventually will. I won't say it needs to be permanent or real or anything…"

"By the way, have you heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?" Thoughts were going off in May's head like fireworks. "At the bottom lies the more basic needs that most people need to achieve the ultimate psychological need at the top, 'self-actualization'. The first two are food and security, not too surprisingly. The third is the need to belong and be loved, and the fourth is a sense of self-esteem…"

"This is sounding like BS already," Sayaka said. "Why is love only on the middle of the hierarchy?"

"Love is actually quite a basic urge," May said. "The urge to be held and be hugged, protect and be protected is something we can observe in other animals. A strong self-concept and individual confidence is more of of human nature, and wanting to complete an ultimate spiritual urge seems to be uniquely so. However, I dislike the Hierarchy, since Maslow belonged to the branch of humanistic psychology, which puts an emphasis on free will, and the Hierarchy seems to be just another excuse saying that that's how humans kind of are. Also as you suggested, Sayaka, it's completely relative."

"Jeez," Sayaka said. "I still don't like how basic your definition of love is. If two animals are just doing it in the wilderness, is that love?"

"The male praying mantis and spider sacrifice themselves for their mate and in doing so they help reproduction of some sort," May said. "Is that not romantic?" Sayaka gave May an annoyed look. "On topic, love is universal and tied both in the nature of social and two-sexed beings. Most people will find they have their strongest sexual attraction to the person, object, or idea they love the most – or even without the attraction, they want the physical and social intimacy. It doesn't need to be two-sided; as many animals will sacrifice themselves for their species which will not pay them back, many humans will sacrifice themselves for a God or a person that won't pay them back. Love is everywhere, from the poorest of the poor to the richest of the rich… I suppose 'romance' is a better term for those that are high-classed and need the 'true' spiritual beliefs as well about themselves. But in my opinion, if you truly are enjoying what you have (and that something isn't pure sadism), you'll want others to have it as well, instead of dismissing other people's feelings as false or shallow."

"Okay then," Sayaka said. "So if a man wanders around and has sex with teenage girls because his heart is swayed way too easily, is that man in multiple loves?"

"Yes," May said, and Sayaka stifled a scoff of frustration. "The male mind is pretty weird though, especially the higher-classed ones. They can keep loads of pornography or other women 'at a distance' because to some extent sex is just sex, and have sex or whatever in a completely different way with their actual partner. Sometimes I suppose they really can't choose though. On another note, Freud proposed that defense mechanisms arise when people can't deal with their unconscious urges. One of my favorites, Reaction Formation, occurs when you act the opposite of how you really feel, much like a tsundere."

"So I'm jealous of the simple sexual relationships animals have because it would feel too awkward if I actually…" Sayaka muttered. "Why don't you go psychoanalyze yourself?"

"I sort of already did, and it's pretty unpleasant," May said. "Freud attempted to psychoanalyze himself and got really depressed. Although there is a defense mechanism called Rationalization, in which people use reasons to hide the true reasons they might want something. Modern psychologists would say Freud was wrong about a lot of stuff, but I sort of think an attempt at objective psychology is bull anyways."

"Really, since when did middle school girls have deep and strange conversations about Freud?" Mami asked, sighing.

"Whenever I'm at the table," May said with a smile as she swallowed her last gulp of food on her plate. "I know you four went through tough work fighting secret monsters out there, but wouldn't it be a bore if we all just did normal things in peacetime? A casual conversation should be as exciting as a once-in-a-lifetime battle! And no shallow-talk about material things and superficial appearances of people, either. With that said, everyone's dismissed! Feel free to take a break Sunday. I'll see you at school Monday, and I guess I'll decide if we'll meet again there."

Sayaka gave May an odd smile. "You really are a handful, you know that? Ah, Mami-san… Sorry about using your plates and stuff, if you want, we'll clean up…"

"I'll handle it," May said, smiling back at Sayaka. "I can control water, after all." Sayaka and Kyoko left first, packing up all the stuff they brought with them. Homura decided to stay for some reason, putting all the stuff May bought back in her bag and watching her wash the dishes. It appeared she could control thin streams of water with precision as well as massive ones that could sink demons. Geez, this girl, Homura thought as she stood in the hallway waiting for May. She has to spout paragraphs and paragraphs of psychology and philosophy in order to try to understand people, while Madoka just had to listen and share their experiences. Maybe May was right in the sense that compassion did sprout from curiosity, but this sort of intellectual heroism or whatever sure fell short of the ideal result.

"I know you're still hiding something," Homura said as she walked along May's side in the halls. "I won't force you to say it if you're not ready yet, but you will say what it is eventually, right?"

May's face again grew somber and serious. "Maybe, maybe not."

"I'll be there to listen if you ever need to," Homura said. May turned to look at Homura with worried eyes.

"Hey, why do you…"

"The way you say things, the way you see things… I feel you understand what some things are," Homura said. "I don't know if it's actually you or if it's your father, but all of those things can't just come out of pure speculation and reading books. I know that you actually went through things and felt strong feelings. There are details in your past you left out, and well… I feel like I've made a new friend. After listening to you, I think that I don't want to have anyone have to feel the things I felt, and it might even end up worse for you."

"I thought you were the type to not get dragged into other people's problems," May said. "By the way, I can't dimension-hop or time travel. Those parts of the resurrection were done by Zusa and something else, so if you're just looking for a way to get to Madoka, I'm not the one you're looking for…"

"I mean what I said," Homura stated, still calm as ever. "You'll talk about it eventually, right? Because I think all of this psychology talk really is Rationalization and dancing around the secret you're keeping."

May smiled nervously. "Yeah, I'll talk about it… You're free to step out of my problems any time you want to, though. I think that if someone's to be sincere, they shouldn't require promises and contracts. But… Thanks Homura."

"Next time, lose legitimately in Twister, okay?" Homura asked as May headed in the direction of her room.

* * *

"That was fun," Kyoko admitted as she dangled her legs over the side of the bed.

"I guess," Sayaka said.

"I don't think I've played with friends like that in a really long time…" Kyoko chuckled. "I probably don't even remember the last time I did something like that."

"Yeah…" Sayaka said, unable to shake off the words May had said. "I think it's good that… different types of people exist." Kyoko leaned over and saw the speculative expression on Sayaka's face. That definitely wasn't a face you'd expect on a girl like Sayaka.

"Hey, what are you wondering about?" Kyoko asked, tapping Sayaka's shoulder.

"I was just thinking of what May said about true love and all. I wonder if the animals would think we're all crazy, farming on them and setting up all these restrictions for ourselves and stuff. Isn't love something that's supposed to come naturally? To a degree I don't even know where to go now…"

"Mnm," Kyoko smiled as she looked down at Sayaka. "It's good to embrace some sides of your nature. Maybe freedom is what gives people meaning and makes them unique… But when I suddenly feel this emotion in my heart, I think it's precious too. For a long time, I was just pulled by frustration and aggression, and when I met you, I started to think that I should rein all those feelings back… I didn't know what emotion I should've felt then, even though I did what I thought was right. But it feels really wonderful to be pulled by… love."

Sayaka put a hand under her shirt. "Want to actually, er… Do it now? Maybe I'm just caught up in the mood, but I think it'll work out if we can deal with the consequences… It's your first time too, right?"

A confused flush fell over Kyoko's face. "W-Who do you think you are to suggest that…?"

"Sorry, sorry," Sayaka said. "Just making sure. Because even if our bodies can be healed by magic, there might be… I don't know…"

"I might just be getting weird ideas from pop culture," Kyoko said as she looked away. "But shouldn't our night be more romantic before…?"

"Right, right," Sayaka said. "Tomorrow, or…? I don't know. I'm not a guy. I don't know how this sex thing works. It was probably a stupid suggestion. We'll deal with it when the time comes."

Come Sunday, the two girls would talk about the topic briefly and ignore it for the rest of the day. This was the first day since May's arrival that she wouldn't interact with the other Puella Magi, and it was weird for everybody else not to be seeing her. It was almost like she didn't exist anymore, given her obvious aura she brought in whenever she was actually present. During the day, the four Puella Magi couldn't help but wonder "what's May doing?"

I really do need distractions, May thought as Sunday night passed and her second week of school in this universe started. Upon meeting the other Puella Magi, the pain of thoughts and feelings buzzing around in her head had actually increased. She would meet with her new friends after school, but decided not to always lead the conversations into strange areas, and would just sit with Homura casually chipping from the side as Kyoko, Mami, and Sayaka talked about something normal. Even though she had plenty of free time, she was getting less and less sleep during the nights. The dreams and nightmares would sneak into her unconscious and leap away before she could catch them, and it was all too real and alive for her to go back to a mental nonexistence. "Daddy, why are you still in so much pain?" she would ask to herself. "Daddy, why are you so disgusting?"

"This substitute teacher's a pain," Sayaka said to Kyoko Wednesday as she packed up her stuff. "I could hardly get any of the notes down… Hey, May's gone already… She's been acting different from usual lately. Do you think she got out all the ideas in her head or what?"

Kyoko shrugged. "Understanding what comes out of her mouth only makes it harder to figure what's inside of her head…. I couldn't get any of the notes either. Want to ask Homura?"

"Yo, purple-eyed majesty…" Sayaka said as she pulled up to Homura. "You get any of the notes? Kyoko and I sort of need someone to copy, hehe…"

"I did," Homura said. "But…" Homura looked over to May's empty desk. "I think we should pay May a visit. She probably took better notes, and I don't want whatever's bothering her gets worse."

I guess only weirdoes can understand weirdoes, Sayaka thought to herself as she headed out the classroom with Kyoko and Homura. "Sorry, Mami-san, no café meeting for today," Sayaka said as she met the drill-haired girl at the school gates. "We're heading directly to the apartment to check up on May."

"Go ahead, I need to go to the convenience store to buy some things," Mami said with a smile. All by herself, Sayaka thought. What a strong girl she is, not to get messed up in the head like May. But I should probably stop judging, Sayaka reminded herself.

There was a tense atmosphere in the air as the three girls walked to the apartment complex. May had to be pretty far ahead of them to not be in their line of sight, or maybe she turned into a suspicious alleyway making deals. Either way, the weirdness of the situation made it hard for any casual conversation to take place. Sayaka had remembered her own feelings and how bad it would be if May was just ignored…

"Wait, we don't know which room's hers," Sayaka said after the three girls rode up the elevator. But somehow Zusa and May had stalked them. Talk about creepy…

"Leave that to me," Homura said as she summoned a purple trail of time-scent. Kyoko and Sayaka looked at her funny. "What? I can do a lot of other useful things now that I can't stop time completely anymore." The three girls followed the trail up to a door near the end of the hall.

"It's locked," Sayaka said as she tried to turn the doorknob. "Should we knock?"

"No," Homura said. "Let's see what she's really doing." Homura grabbed the doorknob and used her violet magic to reverse the doorknob's temporal state to a time where it was unlocked. "I'll lead the way." Homura pushed open the door softly, and was prepared to freeze May in still-time, but it turned out she wasn't in the room anyways. "Ah, looks like she's in the bathroom," Homura said as she led Kyoko and Sayaka up to May's touch-computer with an open browser. All three girls were rather surprised at seeing what was on there.

"What the hell…?" Sayaka asked. "Was that why she brought up pedophiles so much?"

"It's not actually child porn," Kyoko said. "I mean…" The toilet flushed, and Kyoko and Sayaka felt the instinct to scramble, but Homura held them back. May seemed to still be taking her time washing her hands even though she knew her friends had just intruded her house."

"It appears you've found some secrets," May said as she met up with her three friends. "Lolicon, yes. What about it?"

"How young is she?" Sayaka didn't know whether to look at May or the erotic imageboards opened up in May's browser.

"Seventeen," May said. "She is the shortest and youngest in the show, though." Not a single hint of embarrassment at all, Homura noticed. As shocking as this discovery was, this wasn't exactly the gold mine she was looking for.

"She looks kind of like… Zusa," Kyoko observed. "The red eyes and the twintails, yes?"

"Azusa Nakano from K-On!, to be specific," May said. "I'm guessing the naming and appearance is just a coincidence. Old anime, at least in this here world. I guess it still makes me a lesbian lolicon pervert, though."

"Ugh," Sayaka put a hand over her face. "I think I'm going to get sick, sorry…"

"The sex in the pictures is heterosexual though," Homura commented.

"Meh, I don't like things to be done half-heartedly," May admitted. "No matter how rough it is, there's still no real actual penetration in yuri, and I'm not that fond of dildoes or futanari. Gangbangs are sort of pathetic seeing as the guys need to share or team up to bully someone, and I try to avoid the things that are obviously rape because that's also pathetic. I have nothing against dark-skinned males or somewhat overweight ones though. Oh, come on, Sayaka. You never get curious and look up weird things on the internet?"

"No!" Sayaka said, turning away. "I don't have the internet, and wouldn't do it in a public library or something!" May touched the X button in on the right side of the screen, opted not to save her tabs, and closed the window, and Sayaka turned back. Luckily, her desktop wasn't anything erotic. May turned to Kyoko, apparently with the same question.

"Ah… This isn't my sort of stuff," Kyoko said awkwardly. "Sorry."

"I look up weird things on the internet," Homura said. "From time to time, that is… That's how I found out how to make bombs and other weapons. As for May's sort of stuff, I have tried it, but I don't think my libido runs as high as hers and is attracted to anything that's a loli."

"Funny thing is that all of us Puella Magi except Mami are lolis," May said. "Kyoko and Sayaka are attracted to each other as well as Madoka and Homura. Well if you take some things into consideration you can say Mami is a loli with big breasts…"

"Never mind that!" Sayaka said as she couldn't help making a disturbed face. "Are you really into this stuff?!" Sayaka remembered all of May's arguments in favor of open-mindedness and compassion, but this was just so far out of the box.

"There's worse," May said with an annoyed glance. "I guess I really am into this stuff. Sorry I ditched you guys to go home instead. I guess I just needed a little time to myself…"

"Wait," Kyoko said. "Your dad's thoughts and feelings…"

May looked down at the ground, and that expression of suppressed pain passed over her face again. "Don't judge him, okay? Thoughts and actions with yourself shouldn't be considered crimes."

"But if child porn was actually legal," Sayaka said, trying to calm down a bit. "Would you still be looking at lolicon?"

"No," May said. "Real children don't have true puppy-dog eyes. I guess I'm an otaku freak or something, huh?" Hearing May say that about herself caused Sayaka to soften up a little in her judgments. "You came for the notes, right?" May pulled out her bag and gave Sayaka and Kyoko her notebook. "Bring it back when you're done."

"…Sorry for reacting the way I did," Sayaka said after she took the notebook. "It's just that I didn't think your type would actually…"

"My 'type' usually deviates sexually as well," May said. "Napoleon wrote erotic letters to a woman he loved, comparing her breasts with mountains or something. Leo Tolstoy had a lot of random sex before he actually got married. Plato was attracted to adolescent boys, and Socrates was hinted to have supposedly have had sex with them."

"Right, right," Sayaka said, flipping through the "notes". "I'll be able to understand what's in here, right?"

"Have fun," May said, waving goodbye. Kyoko and Sayaka left the room awkwardly, turning their backs to look at May as they went out the door. Homura was still standing up next to May, and May turned to her shyly. "You're still here, are you, Homura?"

"I suppose now's not the time to share more secrets of yours?" Homura asked as she sat down on May's bed. "Sorry I brought Kyoko and Sayaka along too. I guess I don't exactly understand why you do the things you do, but the sort of things Sayaka says sometimes must hurt a bit, right?"

"It's fine," May said with a grim smile. "It's good for friends to be honest about opposite viewpoints, and then accept them. It's probably better that everyone knows about this and not just you, but thanks for the concern. I guess Mami wasn't here, but I think her reaction would just be similar to Kyoko's."

"Right…" Homura said, looking around the room. "Your place is messy, but it seems more comfortable. To be honest I'm kind of a neat freak. I got sort of paranoid after I had to loop back time so many times, trying to perfect my path like some sort of hardcore gamer. Now my place sort of suffocates me with its neatness. Care if I do my homework here?"

"Your Homu-work, you mean," May said.

"Call it what you may. Can I sit on the bed?"

"You can't sit anywhere but on the bed, Koyomi-onii-chan…"

"I'll take that as a yes," Homura said as she got out her stuff. "I don't mind if you go back to browsing that stuff, you know."

"Nah, it's fine." With that Homura started doing her homework, adjusting her position so she was lying prostrate on the bed. May took peeks at Homura as she was browsing the internet and quivered inside. The fact that she had just masturbated while browsing loli didn't help her innate attraction to the purple-eyed girl.

"You know…" May said all of a sudden. "I was just wondering what it would be like to be a guy. Sure, they don't get periods or give birth or breast-feed or get treated badly throughout recorded history or become accursed Puella Magi…"

"I'd still rather not be a guy," Homura said as she flipped a page in her textbook.

"Anyways, they sort of have to confront who they are outright," May continued. "While girls can just sort of ignore their genitals, it sort of dangles out in front for guys. It's awkward and floppy and almost has a will of its own. All it's good for is having sex and peeing standing up. While girls have this natural cyclical cycle inside of them and can go through the natural noble joys of raising someone, men are sort of just destined to have sex and fight and act pretentious while doing it. It might remind guys subconsciously how worthless they are inside."

"Meh, it's good to be aware of some things. Mood swings can come without the girls knowing it, but men always seem to be more aware of their feelings, even if they can't control them." Homura stopped. "Why am I talking about this with you?"

"Alright, another question," May said as she got up from her seat and lied down on the bed across from Homura, who gave her a slightly intrigued glance. "Would you like Madoka better if she was a fully grown adult with huge breasts…?"

"I got a chance to partially see that side of her," Homura said. "But to be honest, I'm more attracted to the way she usually looked. Small breasts… Although they're probably bigger than mine… And I like her shorter than me… Okay, you win." Homura gave May an amused smile. "I like loli Madoka. But I wouldn't want to see a guy with her."

"See, lolis are the most attractive…" May said jokingly. Before an awkward silence could come into the scene, Sayaka and Kyoko barged back into the apartment.

"I don't understand your notes at all," Sayaka said as she tossed the notebook over to May. "Not just today's, all of them!" Sayaka sat down on the bed with Homura and May and flipped through the notebook. "You have a few formulas and notes and so many random sketches!" Some of the more memorable sketches included one of Homura lying down on a bed with a bunch of Madokas jumping over her with the words "TIME TRAVEL COPIES, HOORAY!", a picture of Mami with a beard and a glass of wine with the words "GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN" and a sketch of Kyoko and Sayaka with huge rippling muscles and tanned skin clinging to each other with the words "CYRANO DE BERGERAC AND OEDIPUS THE KING: BEST TEAM EVER!"

"You can borrow mine," Homura said as she handed Sayaka her notes, not sure whether May's sketches were funny but laughing gently anyways.

"Why don't we crash here for homework?" Kyoko asked. "It'd be more convenient than having to pass Homura's notebook back and forth, after all."

"I guess that's fine with me," Sayaka said, inching over for Kyoko to have room on the bed while still looking at May suspiciously. There was that awkward tension between Sayaka and May for a couple of minutes, but the tension faded soon after the four girls started telling jokes and sharing strategies for homework. That's right. It didn't matter that the group consisted of a philosophical lolicon, a resurrected girl, a mentally scarred time-traveler, and a very unfortunate orphan. They were four middle school girls, and they were having innocent fun.

And while that innocent fun was taking place, Mami was dealing with a powerful potential danger a few rooms away. The drill-haired girl was eating sweets with two significant law enforcers of the universe. "I'm glad you're having fun with May Sakemura and your resurrected Sayaka Miki," one of the enforcers said, sitting on Mami's carpet in a very orderly fashion. She had bright blue eyes and combed white hair, was extremely well-dressed, and radiated an immense aura of power around her, perhaps even more powerful than that of May and Zusa's. "But there's a high possibility that certain consequences – magical consequences, that is – I couldn't care less for the psychological ones – will arise out of all this manipulation. If that moment ever comes, we might have to destroy all of the outliers in this field, otherwise the universe might risk getting destroyed again, as it was with the Madoka Kaname incident. Ever since then, we, the Ordered, have decided to tighten up our regulations so such an incident wouldn't happen. Zusa Kanajo here has been a very efficient worker in terms of preventing damage to this universe, and thus that was the only way she was permitted to create such… distortions in this world. I'm speaking specifically about May Sakemura and Sayaka Miki. Their very presence is both unsettling and unstable, and if it ever comes down to it, their existence will be terminated. We hope you'll see the logical side of this situation, Tomoe-san. After all, the safety of the universe should come before your friends, right?" After rambling those facts, the girl took a drink of her tea and put the cup down on the table softly.

"I see… Arla-san, was it?" Mami asked as she gestured to refill the cup, but Arla declined. After returning to her apartment, Mami had found Zusa and Arla waiting for her, apparently demanding to have a discussion with her. They didn't seem too hostile despite their power, and if it ever came to a brawl, the other four Puella Magi were also in the apartment. "Well, I appreciate your concern, but things… Uh, from what Akemi-san has told me, things ended up working out in the Madoka Kaname incident."

"Those are rare occurrences," Arla replied swiftly. "Usually when such… groundbreaking circumstances occur, things don't get settled as peacefully as they do, and we have to mobilize ridiculous numbers of Puella Magi in order to prevent the end of the world. But the whole Madoka Kaname incident was something that was completely out of our control once it developed on a large scale, and so we've resolved to try and stop the problem ahead of time if things come to that. I know it may seem inhumane, but it's for the greater good."

"And you'd just kill them…?" Mami asked. Arla took a bite of the slice of cake on her plate and gave an affirmative nod. "There isn't any other way?"

"Puella Magi, being magical beings, won't be stopped by just simple restraints," Arla explained. Mami turned to Zusa for a differing opinion.

"I don't agree entirely with Arla," Zusa said, rattling off the thoughts in her head. "She's just talking about the worst case scenario, and even if it does develop I have several backup plans…"

"Her backup plans aren't likely to work," Arla said. "And it is very likely that the worst case scenario will develop. Think about it. You've transferred a girl from another universe into this one, reset the world multiple times, and brought back a girl who was fated – _fated_ – to die. Dire complications should arise out of that, shouldn't it?"

"Well," Zusa said with a soft smile. "In this world young girls transform into costumes and fight monsters in other worlds with magical powers. That sort of stuff doesn't seem too ridiculous in comparison…"

"It is," Arla said. "Crossing universes, physically changing the world so that it mirrored a specific date, and physical resurrection is much more than simple magic. Remember, Zusa, and as a note to you too, Tomoe-san: Justice and morality are fundamentally different from compassion. Compassion is the raw feeling of wanting to understand and help someone. Justice and morality are systems that must be divided evenly among all people. The rest of the world wouldn't just accept their destruction for the safety and happiness of five middle school girls. Compassion, from a rational standpoint, isn't something that really needs to exist in this world. Pity, as the act of feeling bad for someone lower than you, can at least help create a driving force of competition, but compassion is self-destructive. Just look at the mental state May Sakemura goes into when she delves into psychology."

"And you came to me only because you assumed that I was someone that valued justice and morality?" Mami asked.

"Sayaka Miki is too attached to her current lifestyle, and whenever these things are brought up to May Sakemura, she talks about a bunch of useless philosophical and psychological crap instead of just comparing the utilitarian benefits." Arla looked at Mami with an honest, requesting glance. "Sakemura has her intellectual delusions, Sayaka Miki and Kyoko Sakura have each other, and Homura Akemi has her precious memories of Madoka Kaname. What do you have, Mami Tomoe? Is your life valuable at all, or are you going to accept being a side character in their group?"

"I don't really want the spotlight," Mami said as she brushed away one of her drills. "Although it would be my pleasure to introduce new Puella Magi, if I ever looked flashy, that's really just a coincidence."

"If reason won't appeal to you, maybe you'll accept our side when you're presented with respect for power and disgust of previous circumstances," Arla said. "Zusa and I alone could stop your supposed force of five Puella Magi, and the Ordered has many other allies to fight for their side. Incidentally, do you know why Sakemura talks about her father so much? He came to this world once, as a teenager, and did terrible things. Maybe he had some intellectual justifications like his daughter does now, but he was – and perhaps still is – a debaucher and scoundrel who twists the minds of those that listen to him. He engaged in promiscuous activity with Kyoko Sakura a few times, and entered a supposedly romantic relationship with Homura Akemi. His presence threatened the destruction of this world twice… Zusa had to patch up the damage with a whole lot of red flames, and a whole lot of memory-wiping."

"That sounds ridiculous," Mami said. "I'm not believing that until you have actual evidence…"

"Arla doesn't lie, but she does have her biases," Zusa said. "That's just one side of the story. Maybe you can't call him human, but he wasn't that bad of a guy – he had dreams, feelings, and compassion. Andy…"

"Zusa," Arla cut the twintailed girl off. "Please refer to him by one of the agreed names. His human name doesn't deserve to be respected, just like his attempts at experiencing humanity. His parents gave birth to a monster and saw it as a human. And Zusa has a bias as well. She did spend some time with him, after all. I really prefer the old her."

"And you think May-san is that bad because of what her father did…?" Mami asked. She couldn't eat her slice of gelatin cake now.

"She's strongly attached to that scoundrel," Arla explained. "Even sharing the memories he had wiped from his own mind... As if raising a cute daughter with a semi-genius intellect could ever make up for all of his impure thoughts and actions."

"Right, right," Zusa said. "But I mean, he's only responsible for so much. The other people did have their own free will after all… He had no mind-manipulating powers…"

"I disagree with you," Arla said. "He controls young pubescent girls like they're slaves, and his whip is his twisted idea of reason. He doesn't have any excuses, either. I don't know why you got the Council to vote against just going to his original world and killing him. Perhaps his daughter is innocent, but he definitely isn't."

"Ah… That's enough," Mami said, putting a hand to her forehead, a wave of indecision passing over her for some reason. "I'll… actually think about your request." Mami realized that she still felt like she needed to belong to a group, and her connections to the other four Puella Magi weren't even that tight.

"Don't tell the others we had this conversation," Arla said. "That is, as long as the window of opportunity is still open. Zusa, let's get going."

"Are we healing the rift in Paris?" Zusa asked as she summoned her curved blade and created a red portal.

"I don't know. Your recent disruptions have caused a whole lot of trouble for us." Arla stepped into the portal first, and as Zusa left, she gave Mami a concerned look as if saying she wasn't totally aligned with Arla.

Mami sat silently for a bit, alone with her half-eaten slice of gelatin cake. The Ordered, huh? Ever since she became a Puella Magi, Mami felt like she was fighting meaningless battle after meaningless battle. There would always be more monsters, and always more suffering… Didn't the Ordered have a higher purpose, though? Mami asked to herself. And the four other Puella Magi didn't really need her, especially with May's leadership and magical strength…

No, what am I thinking? Mami said as she shook off those thoughts. Arla was way too formal and cold, and even Zusa seemed to disagree with her on things. I guess I can't generalize the Ordered based on that, though, Mami thought. But she would consider both sides of the issue.

* * *

"What do you think of the weird thing between pop culture and the art critics?" May asked as she interrupted the casual chatter between Kyoko and Sayaka Thursday. Mami wasn't chipping in for some reason. "You know, they say that pop culture is really shallow and that the classics are much better, since pop culture apparently just regurgitates trends…"

"Hmm?" Sayaka asked. "Oh, you're talking again, are you? Well, there are a number of things in which I'd prefer the classics, like music, but with stuff like I don't know, storytelling, I prefer the modern stuff. Ancient books are just so wordy, you know, and there's a ton of sexism in there…"

"What do you think is supposedly 'good' art, anyways?" May asked. "Beyond a complex understanding of the intricacy of language and filmmaking, there's something more to it, isn't there? Many of our new films triumph over classic ones with their special effects, cameras, and lights, but critics would claim that the old movies were better because of something… Because of what? Plot? Suspense? And then they go on using extremely subjective words to describe those things…"

"If the majority likes it, it's probably good," Sayaka said. "Wouldn't it be simpler to accept how good something is when you hold everything to a clear and objective standard? I feel that a lot of these art critics are just people wanting to feel special and wanting to go against some commercially successful things they dislike."

"But I thought you had accepted some of my points on how objective natures don't really exist," May said. "Both modern and classic art show trends in their respective mediums, so you can't really hound something on its originality… On another note, do you think that television and movies have outdated novels as a source of storytelling as well as entertainment?"

"Well," Sayaka said, laughing softly. "I'm sorry if this offends you, May, but I think that people that try to put an emphasis on reading 'great' works of literature are really just stuck-up pricks. Why do you need to read paragraphs of descriptive language when the image is right there, clear in its beauty and more powerful than your imagination could ever make it? Even if looking at film over novel-reading, there's still a lot of room for subjectivity as to what people notice. You can actually hear the tone of someone's voice and see the emotions on their face, and have sound effects and background music to boot. With reading you're just sort of looking at inkblots of words printed on paper…"

"Reading and writing is the fastest way to communicate outside of talking, still," May said. "I do accept your point on the whole descriptive language thing, but there are certain… imaginative ideas, you know, that can only be expressed through literature. How would you go about showing the concept of an ultimate God or free will in a film? You'd have to either bombard it with excessive dialogue or a mass of abstract, interpretative images. I personally dislike how that stuff hasn't really been valued by people over the ages. Modern literature is getting shallower and shallower, using ridiculous amounts of one word sentences and one sentence paragraphs. Writers are getting lazy and are almost requesting the reader to imagine their scenes based on what they've seen in the media. People would rather read 'this was true love', rather than 'this was an inexplicable feeling in the heart that blossomed forth a vicissitude of emotions and feelings. The heart contorted itself as it was being wrung like a sponge or drilled or twisted like a screw, but moments later it would burst forth like a firework or soar over the vast field of tedium and sorrow like a confident bird on a clear day.' I think sorts of feelings such a passage give off are precious, and no matter how much computer-generated animation or dramatic music you play, the act of hearing it in spoken word or reading it on paper and then mentally comprehending it is truly indispensable."

"Did you come up with that just now?" Sayaka asked.

"Uh… Y-Yes," May said shyly. Homura eyed her, taking mental notes of May's proclamations.

"Ah well. Books are sometimes good, I suppose," Sayaka said. "But film and music just seem a lot more flexible to me. Maybe I'm just a dull girl or something."

"I thinking writing is more flexible… Well, other things annoy me," May said. "People will try to compare taste in film and clothing and what's better and what's worse. They might bring up some sort of intellectual superiority in regards to a certain issue within media and how to interpret it when they can't even handle twenty pages of Nietzsche without arrogantly dismissing it."

"But to compare with film, your type of literature would have to have strong emotions or complicated philosophy or psychoanalysis of the sort every other paragraph," Sayaka said.

"So?" May said. "That makes a good story even better. Interpretations leading to more interpretations, wonders giving way to wonders... It's like an infinite staircase of discovery, and maybe most people would find it pretentious, but such rapid creation of new ideas is precious to me. If we were to hold on to current popular standards of literature, the field would end up as a collection of either shallow regurgitation of other media or pathetic imitating fanfictions."

"I haven't seen a book with you a single day we've met, though," Sayaka said.

"Well, I enjoy hanging out with you guys too," May said. "Film, literature, and all sorts of arts have their aspects that make them important, but friends and perceptions of physical reality are similarly invaluable."

"Right, right," Sayaka said. "Anything else you want to talk about, o wise one?"

"As a matter of fact yes," May said. "You know besides the 'filthy' otaku that want to collect harems of their 2D girls and jack off to them all day, there is a bigger group – I think perhaps the majority – that will go 'oh no you don't, she's too pure!' It all seems rather silly, don't you think? A character is just an idea, after all, and shouldn't people have freedom of thought and expression?"

"Otakus are crazy," Sayaka concluded again. "Are they pure just because they look pure with their puppy dog eyes?"

"It's a combination of looks, their age, lack of sexual activities they have participated in, and simplicity of emotion, energy and happiness they display through animation," May said. "However, their appearances still have to be in line with the cultural standards given moral relativity. In such a manner, I think that if you four were anime characters, you'd all be considered very pure and have those self-righteous crazy otakus go yell at the ones filled with ridiculous libido or psychological curiosity 'she's too pure!' and 'you freaking pedo!' I don't know, Sayaka. Do you consider yourself a pure girl?"

Sayaka gave May a sarcastic look. "I went crazy and destroyed my body doing so. Isn't that a ridiculously biased way to judge people just because my circumstances would be more known, they'd see me as a poor middle school girl, and I would have a puppy-dog face as an anime character? In any case, those self-righteous otakus are only a tad bit less disgusting than the obsessive lolicon freaks."

"On another note…" May took a slight sip of her sweetened tea and leaned back with yet another mischievous smile. "What's the concept of purity, really? Something that has never acquired a stain of dirtiness? In a sense perhaps the potential, and thus value would be unlimited, but in another sense the pure thing would really have gotten its hands dirtied. One doesn't learn the secrets of human nature and the world through nothing but honest work. Thus it would also be ignorant and unused – but using it would defile its purity! Why don't we call this the 'purity paradox'?

"Of course, I suppose you can look at it in another way." May picked up one of the plastic forks on the table. "If I dip this 'pure' fork in a jar of horse semen and wash it thoroughly, would it still be pure? Surely not many of you would use such a thing?" May paused, and the other girls at the table remained silent. "Then would 'the potential to be washed' be an unacceptable definition of purity?"

"I think that's an acceptable definition," Homura spoke up. "But I probably wouldn't use the fork. It's just a fork, after all."

"But in relating to people, wouldn't it be better to say that all hearts can be mended? Now then," May shot a daring glance at Sayaka. "If Kyoko was dipped in a giant jar of…" A threatening glance. "Something you were allergic to, say, shrimp powder…" Silence. "It appears you're all going to let me just ramble on and on to insanity." May seemed a little disappointed, even if she had expected the results. "Of course, you can say that some people are perhaps _fundamentally evil_… By the way, do you know that a theory someone once held was that bows and ribbons subconsciously objectify women and may cause pedophilia, because they are put on Christmas gifts?" Kyoko tweaked the black bowtie in her hair. "You know what? I'm going to be the little bird that travels to the multicolored world and absorb all the colors in its wings. I don't care if they turn black and fall apart; I will absorb all the colors! Even the color of pain."

"She's gone nuts again," Sayaka said to Kyoko.

"Actually, have you heard of the lover's paradox?" May asked, bringing up another topic. "It was a term that my dad coined up, but I actually don't think it's that uncommon of a phenomenon. Basically, someone loves a person because that person has exhibited very strong love for another person. They admire their beloved's devotion or something of the sort, except the beloved is devoted another person. The lover that loves his/her beloved with another beloved does not want their beloved to be only devoted to them though – that lover actually wants to be devoted to their beloved who is in turn devoted to another…"

"That's not true love," Sayaka said. "No matter how devoted they are, it's just not… romantic. It's more like a child trying too hard to satisfy its parents when it has a life of its own."

"So cruel!" May exclaimed. "Homura, you would respect the devotion of someone who was stuck in this lover's paradox and devoted to you the same way you are devoted to Madoka?"

"Probably," Homura shrugged. "As individuals humans are flexible, but if I was a supposedly pure anime character and I had an army it'd be a different thing. Either way, it's not like I'm so self-centered to think that I'm special in the pains and wishes that I feel."

"I actually agree with Homura on this one," Kyoko said. "According to her, I did a lot to try and save Sayaka through each of the time loops… I don't think I can just blow someone off who would do those sorts of things for me and tell him or her that it's not true love they're feeling."

"Well, it's not like I would just be cruel to them," Sayaka said. "But in my honest opinion I'd say that they need to find someone or something else they need to devote themselves to. They're only going to hurt themselves if they're going to value loving something that doesn't love them back?"

"What about God?" May asked. "Billions around the world would die for this strange deity that they can't even come close to comprehending, even if there was no guarantee they'd be paid back. Ahhhh…. As soon as something's socially recognized, it becomes very acceptable, right? God's love is the truest cause billions are unsatisfied with their spouses and children and need something more. But an obsessed romantic's love isn't true because they are unsatisfied with their mundane lives and need something more. I guess there just aren't enough of them, huh?"

"I think most believers in God believe that God loves them back, even if it's a sort of strange love," Kyoko said. "I don't agree with the religious people that are always going 'shame on you, sinner' though…"

"What about you, Mami?" Sayaka asked. "You haven't spoken up at all."

"Ah…" Mami snapped out of her deep introspection. Upon listening to the conversation, she had realized that all of the other Puella Magi had experienced that sort of love… And she was loveless. She was loved in a lot of ways, but in her own heart she was loveless. That sort of feeling made her consider joined the Ordered again. "I'd say that the person stuck in the paradox needs to move on, like Sayaka."

"Three-two," May said with a grin.

"Two-two," Sayaka said. "Machines that grind out lines of psychology and philosophy aren't classified as human."

"Maybe so."

As the five Puella Magi left the café, May took a completely different direction. No one really stopped to ask her anything, but Homura decided to follow the hazel-eyed girl. "Worried about me?" May asked. "Don't bother. I'm not going to do anything interesting." Homura didn't say anything, but just followed May along the fifteen-minute walk or so to the docks nearby the ocean. Zusa stood there leaning against a wall with a fishing pole in her hands.

"You get her to tag along or something?" Zusa asked as she handed May the pole and a bucket containing a bag full of bait.

"Why bother with the pole when you can control water?" Homura asked.

"This… Brings back memories," May said. Zusa followed May and Homura over to the edge of the docks, and waited until May cast out a line into the sea.

"If the universe does start collapsing and things do get worse, will you sacrifice yourself?" Zusa asked.

"No," May said promptly and without consideration. "I wouldn't sacrifice Sayaka, either. I know you swore loyalty to the Ordered, and fighting you would be tough, but I feel like I have things I want to do, and…" May's voice grew soft. "A destiny I need to fulfill." Homura thought this was a strange statement, as May seemed to always go on about subjectivity and self-determination.

"Arla's planning something," Zusa warned. "Something that I think a good number of the Ordered will agree with. Even if your sacrifice isn't needed… Sorry," Zusa sighed. "I thought I was one of the higher ranks there, but I still know less than I want to. Perhaps I may have a bit too many personal attachments and not be utilitarian enough, or something of that sort. It's nothing that you guys can really prepare for. You should just appreciate the fun that you can have. But I guess even that's getting harder for you now, right?" May continued looking out at the ocean. "The nightmares are getting worse, right? But keep in mind that I believe in the goodness in your soul, your brain, your DNA or whatever."

"My wish was just ridiculous," May said. "Who wishes not to just understand someone, but to share what they experienced personally?"

"Perhaps if I had the chance, I'd wish to share Madoka's thoughts and feelings too," Homura said as she looked out into the sea with May.

"That wouldn't go so well," Zusa said. "Believe it or not, you two think on entirely different levels. I'm not saying it's not love, but May shared a lot of things in common with her father, and even then taking on his thoughts is hurting her. Haven't you gone through enough pain?"

"You may be right," Homura said as she turned to look at the other two girls. "I already made my wish anyways." May's line started to quiver.

"I didn't think you would be the type of girl to like something so cruel," Homura said.

"I'm just catching dinner," May replied. "I sort of was just curious about fishing when I was little, and Daddy said that we could go out and see how it was really done. Gutting a fish disgusted me, but I guess I learned then and there about all of the things people usually ignore when they live out their everyday lives. Fishing from time to time… I don't know, it makes me feel more responsible." May slowly drew in the line to reveal a medium sized frantic fish squirming about in the air. "Land and air aren't as fluid as water, are they, little fella?" May said as she left the fish dangling from the hook for a while.

"You didn't bring a knife," Homura noticed. "Are you just going to bring it home in the bucket?"

"Animals, like people, generally don't like being out of their natural habitat and gasping for air," May said. "Catching and eating is natural, but the human suspension of simple comforts for elongated periods of time is just something I'd like to avoid." May grabbed the fish by its body and unhooked it from the line, then summoned a sphere of water and surrounded the fish's head, leaving it squirming about in the air but now breathing. The ball of water started to turn red from the leaky blood, but before the water became too tainted to bend, May crushed the head with the ball of water, catching the body and letting the sloppy remnants of fish head drop into the ocean. Homura twitched upon seeing the body still twitching. "Nerves sort of work that way," May explained. "I like this way better than just cutting off the head or slitting the throat, to be honest."

"Mind if I come over for dinner?" Zusa asked. "Sorry about the way I handled things last time."

"Sure," May said as she weighed the fish with her hands before dropping it in the bucket. "I guess this fish is a little bigger than it looks. Homura, you're welcome too."

"Ah… It's okay, I have something of my own," Homura said, thinking of what Madoka would make of this. It was a little silly, but Madoka definitely wouldn't be able to go with May and Zusa after seeing the fish caught and killed in such a manner close-up. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

"Hey, Sayaka, I was wondering…" Kyoko started after the two girls had reached their apartment. "What if something really strange happens and you end up liking someone else…?"

"I don't think that's a likely possibility," Sayaka said with a confident smile. "Since our souls are stuck in rocks, I don't think we can be manipulated that easily just by messing with the brain."

"Yeah, but magic has almost unlimited potential. It is called magic for a reason, after all."

"Don't worry," Sayaka put an arm on Kyoko's shoulder. "As long as I have my memory, I'm sure you'll be the most precious person to me. And if either one of us loses our memory, I'm sure that we'd go to the most extreme of measures to get them back… Heh. I'm not good at this 'what if' and 'I would' type conversations. I'm more of focused on what I can and want to do now, you know? Why the question? Are you so fascinated by what May says or have you finally gotten bored of our mundane life?"

"I'm just curious," Kyoko said as she looked at Sayaka warily.

"Hmm…" Sayaka murmured. "In any case, you're not in any sort of lover's paradox. It might just be a month or so to an outsider, but during that time, I've shared feelings with you that I don't think I had shared or can share with anybody else. Maybe it's hard to pinpoint where exactly is the 'Sayaka Miki' you love, even if my physical self lies in a rock. I feel that my identity is just determined by the memories that I decide to keep precious, and maybe those determine my feelings as well. I can forget a lot of things, like what I ate for lunch yesterday or my favorite color when I was little, but as long as I keep record of the paths I choose as a Puella Magi, I can definitely say I'm still Sayaka."

"Homura said that there was another Puella Magi with us before," Kyoko said. "Madoka Kaname… I don't know, does the word seem familiar to you? Because for some reason, I don't feel that my self – our selves – are complete without recovering memories of this supposed Madoka."

"Maybe if I would've acted way differently had this Madoka been here, you can say that I'm a different Sayaka," Sayaka said. "But I've heard you retell Homura's story to me, and it seems like you and I would've done most of the same actions whether or not Madoka existed. In any case, is this something we should still worry about?"

"…Well…" Kyoko looked away at the wall. "I can positively say that I'm not in what May deems as a lover's paradox, but why exactly do you love me so much, anyways? My feelings for you are there because of the way I saw your determination to fight for what you believed in, but upon examination of my own self, I don't feel I'm all that special. It seems that whatever makes me special had to do with my sacrifices for you – when Homura describes all of the time loops, that seems to be my most consistent, unique feature. I guess I'm being sort of selfish here, but I feel that I'm not that much without you."

"That's not how it is," Sayaka said as she took Kyoko's hands in hers with a soft smile. "May can ramble on about the equality of all humanity, environmental influences, and moral relativity all she wants, but I think you're a really strong girl, Kyoko. Ever since you brought me to that broken-down church and told me about your story… I think that most Puella Magi would've given up then. But you're strong - even if you only lived for yourself then. I may have listened to your story with an unimpressed face and left coldly back then, but I think that was just my own ego speaking."

"It's odd, though," Kyoko said as she put a hand over her heart. "Our most unique features don't show in these times, these happy times. It's almost like we actually have to go through suffering to prove that we're something special. Then again, May always stands out whenever you interact with her no matter how you look at it…"

"Well then, May's probably going through suffering," Sayaka said. "If a strong person becomes weak or doesn't use their strength anymore, I don't think I would just say they're a normal human being then. Maybe I do judge people too quickly, but if I saw a good quality in someone and then they just act ordinary, I think it's likely that that quality will show up again."

Kyoko started to laugh for some odd reason as she shifted her position on the bed. "Man, we're being stupid, aren't we? Love is love, simple as that. I didn't think you would take it this far, Sayaka."

"Right…" Sayaka said as she reached out her arms. "Come here, Kyoko." As the two girls met lips, one could definitely say that all the psychological complexity that might've existed was thrown out the window then. But this simplicity was also beautiful, even if it was the beginning of worsening relations with May.

* * *

May woke up in the middle of the night with scattered eyes, her hand oddly sore for some reason. She looked around nervously for the seekers that were after her – and then realized it was all a dream. She had smashed in part of the ground during her sleep, however, and apparently her magic didn't take the full brunt of physical pain while sleeping. I wonder if I should move away with Zusa or something while I'm still sane, May thought. If she dragged the Puella Magi into this mess, nothing but trouble would come out of it.

"I was just reading the news last night, and apparently this new aquatic museum opened up a few days ago," May said to her friends after school as they were walking to the usual cafe. "And since not many people are coming, the tickets are rather cheap – cheaper for young students, too! I guess they want to encourage learning in today's youth or something. Anyway, everyone's free tomorrow, right? It's a Saturday, after all."

"Visiting a museum seems to be a rather normal activity for you to do," Sayaka said. "Don't tell me you're going to start bending the water there or something and release the animals onto innocents."

"I like seeing new environments," May said. "It fascinates me. Of course, all of the precision, degrees, and standards that the professional field of science demands makes me not actually want to become a scientist. But are we ever going to grow up anyways, as Puella Magi?"

"Even if we do, we're still in middle school at the moment," Kyoko rationalized. "We shouldn't need to worry about jobs all that much." And seeing no further response from May, Kyoko and Sayaka went back to their conversation with Mami.

"How was the fish?" Homura asked May. The hazel-eyed girl really was quite an enjoyable friend, but Homura felt that her reaction at a slightly abnormal act of fishing and her refusal of May's invitation for dinner would create a stubborn wall of tension between them.

"Animals taste the best when the death is flashy and the suffering is minimized," May said. "What'd you have for dinner last night?"

Homura laughed. "That's quite a normal conversation." May almost flushed at the mention of it. "I suppose you must only be good at talking to one person at a time, right? Even when you bring up psychology it seems that way."

"Yeah…" May said. "You guys are actually my first real friends though. I would talk with some girls for a while, but they seem to always want to do things in larger groups. It's as if they need other friends to fall back on if a certain one is lost or goes bad."

"Perhaps," Homura said. "To answer what I had for dinner, it was pickled vegetables, white rice, and stewed beef."

"Ever visited a food farm for cows before?" May asked.

"I see no reason to disgust myself," Homura said without indecision. "You're fine with me not agreeing with you, right?"

"It's completely fine," May nodded. "You don't have to debate either, it's just nice… To be listened to, though. I don't know, I rarely get the feeling that I'm really listened to in normal situations. When things got awkward with my dad, I wasn't sure if I'd have anybody, and even worse I'd grow up and leave the house… Sorry. The normal conversation was more pleasant, right?"

"I like it when you say what you want," Homura said. And yet again, May was still hiding something… "Your dad must be worried sick by now." At that statement, May looked down at the sidewalk with a guilty expression. "I wonder if Madoka can see me from wherever she is in the heavens, and if she knows how I'm doing. I hope we don't have to wait till Heaven or something to be reunited."

"Oh, that brings up a good question I'll bring up later," May said. After everyone sat down in the café, May threw her hand up with a grin. "What do you guys think happens after someone dies?"

"I honestly don't know," Sayaka said. "I just hope that I can bring some friends along with me and keep important memories. If I've lived life to the fullest, eternal slumber wouldn't be bad either. I sort of go with the Confucian saying 'if you don't know how to live life, how can you know how to die?' or something like that. The focus is here and now."

"I do think that it'd just…" Kyoko started. "Natural isn't the term, I know. It'd just be nice for people to be able to see deceased ones again, at least the ones that died with their lives cut short."

May let a little aura of sympathy go up in the air for Kyoko and her family before moving on. "It's really strange, though. Those that believe in eternal nothingness after death usually would use the argument that nothing is eternal if they don't refer to something inexplicable in biology. But if nothing is eternal, eternal nothingness shouldn't exist either. I'd say an eternal happiness is even less plausible, however. I suppose that eventually, the soul will return and then fade in a cycle. In the end of the universe, everyone will have done everything and then things loop back in a cycle to try out all the different variations of orders."

"Eternal nothingness sounds better than your theory," Sayaka said. "There are just some things I'd rather not do. At least we don't become Witches now, right?"

"Things you'd rather not do…" May grinned. "Violin sex."

"Have a child with your dad," Sayaka retorted.

"If we're playing gross-out, I've got a ton of pictures on my phone that will make you lose in an instant," May said.

"Let's not play gross-out," Sayaka said. "And I'm tired of debating with you. If you want I'll teach you how to operate in a normal conversation, but until then I'm going to just blow off most things you bring up. This was something that was less strange than arguing about fundamental morality, so I bothered to listen in on this one."

"Is that really what you believe?" Homura asked May.

"If we're to reach the pinnacles of happiness, we must also fall into the depths of suffering," May said. "Even without Witches, the lowest point in anyone's life will, relatively, seem like Hell. That's just a price to pay for happiness. While the poor and the rich man will both become food for worms, the rich man's fall will still balance out the inequality, perhaps. This is why I don't think that people really want fairness and just want what they want, and happiness comes out of that."

"Why even bother trying then, if you believe everyone is equally happy?" Homura asked. "It seems like a waste of effort."

May shrugged. "I guess in the end, desire is the root of both happiness and unhappiness. Wanting something and then getting it both lead to lovely fantasies, cruel realizations of reality, sensations of accomplishments and then questions on what to do next. To be satisfied with something in the current moment seems to be the same thing as dying. But it's not like I'm saying having happy family or being in love is like dying, I mean. People in those situations still look ahead to the future respectively."

"And as a believer of free will, you believe we can shape or choose our desires…" Homura said.

"Yeah," May said. "But it's pointless if you choose desires that are easy to be satisfied."

"Never mind about that." Homura sighed, recalling all of her experiences through the time loops. "I had a lot of fun with Madoka, to be honest. But it still feels that the repetition and the memory was more painful than anything else. It seems like happiness and suffering are very imbalanced in this world, no matter what Kyubey says."

"That's because you naturally want happiness and not suffering," May said. "I guess though… Even admitting the cyclical nature of emotions, I see some desires to be beautiful and some as not."

"Cyclical, huh?" Homura asked. If she had paid that much merely to save Madoka and herself, how much would she have to pay to see her again? "Sometimes, I think of a happy ending for us all. But I guess the way reality works is more aligned to your principles – there is no ending as long as we exist, and we constantly decide to change our circumstances."

"Maybe so," May said. "Even disregarding aging and human growth in technology, a stable happy ending will keep on slipping away. I think that finding someone to share everything with makes things better, though, even if there's no real happy ending. And people can get ridiculously picky on who they want to share things with…"

"Yes," Homura said as she looked at Kyoko and Sayaka. "Ridiculously – extremely – picky. Those people that find that certain person that they fought like a greedy child to be with – those people must be lucky, huh?" May looked down at her tea, her spirit dampened a little.

"You've found yours," May said, causing Homura to look back at her. "Even if you're not with her at the moment, I think that's better than not knowing what the hell you want. Of course, you can say that some people don't need that special someone, but… I think I'm not one of those people. I'm a romantic."

Homura gave May a reassuring smile as she put her hand on May's arm. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find that special someone some day." Right… May thought, reflecting upon the desires hidden deep in her heart. All of her loves were sadly impossible.

As May walked to her own apartment alone, sad feelings continued to brew in her chest. She definitely couldn't be with her father. Even if they held feelings for each other their experiences growing up were just too different, too strange, especially when her father had raised her since infancy. It had nothing to do with any incest taboo. As for Homura, it was still the same lover's paradox phenomenon. She doubted that any love in her heart would be truer than her feelings for Madoka, and if it were that would make her a different person completely.

To fight off the pain, May searched up "loli sex" on her most often-used imageboard, pulling up and downloading images. I'm not fighting though, May thought. _I'm just distracting myself… But I don't know how to fight this! Daddy certainly didn't. Daddy…_ As May's thoughts fell into the realms of wordlessness, she was gripped by both heartache and headache. She definitely couldn't bother Homura with these problems, and even if the purple-eyed girl tried to cheer her up it would only remind her of the distance they had as just friends. May sat in her chair with her head in her hands for a while, waiting for the pain in her heart to calm down.

After fifteen minutes or so, May felt a little better and closed the imageboard, resuming her less depressing activities for the day. May's father had moped about for hours at a time in the worst scenarios, and as her mental state came closer to his, she felt those unwanted feelings rise up inside of her. I just have to do the best I can for the moment, May reminded herself, taking out her homework and making a small chip before preparing dinner. I wonder if Sayaka's really serious about ignoring what I bring up… May thought as she chopped a carrot. The other girls usually didn't have much to say in response. Perhaps she just needed to be more personal or something.

May crawled into her bed alone, careful to avoid the floor in the ground. She recalled memories from her earlier years where it would be perfectly acceptable to snuggle up with her father. "I'm really growing up," May said to herself, putting on an unpleasant frown. "Mami faces this sort of stuff every day, probably… Should I be like her?" May went to sleep wondering about those sorts of things and hoping that she wouldn't smash more holes in the floor.

* * *

Regardless of whether or not the other Puella Magi wanted to come along to the museum with May, they would meet up with May early in the Saturday morning. A loud crash was heard through the halls of the apartment and probably disrupted everyone sleeping. Most people would probably go back to sleep, but as they sensed powerful magic at work, the four Puella Magi went to May's apartment to see the commotion.

"What happened?" Sayaka asked as she followed Homura through May's door, who had again opened it with temporal magic. A huge portion of May's wall was torn apart and destroyed, and May was observing the damage just as curiously as the other girls were. "And in one blow, too…" Sayaka looked elsewhere in the room. "Your bed is torn, too."

"J-Just a nightmare," May said as the other girls observed the damage up-close.

"It's wet," Kyoko said as she felt the torn mattress. "So you summoned that much water and then crushed things with it…"

"You really don't have to worry about me," May said as she attempted to push one of the pieces of wall back into place. The piece wouldn't lodge in at all. "I don't think I'm going to strangle myself anytime soon…"

"That was only a fraction of your full power, though," Mami said concernedly. "If your nightmares become worse, what could happen to this place?"

"I'd rather not find out," Homura said. "Move away from the damaged items." The other girls stepped back, and Homura summoned her black bow, firing arrows that reverted the damaged areas back to their earlier forms. "May won't be able to use or touch these things, as they're stuck in time. I guess I could freeze everything in the room, but that seems rather cruel."

"In any case, we still need someone to look over her," Sayaka said. "Kyoko and I don't have a couch, and our bed is pretty much full at the moment."

"I have a couch," Mami said. "Although I'm not sure how good I'd be good at stopping this thing from happening…"

"Come to my place," Homura said to May. "I have a couch as well."

"T-Thanks, Homura," May stuttered. "Are you just going to repair the damage if I do something like that again?"

"I'm sort of wired to notice whenever magic is used near me," Homura said as she brushed away one of her bangs. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to react in time to your water or whatever, but I hope it works out."

"The nightmares must be pretty bad for something like that to happen…" Kyoko said. "You are still hiding something, right? Want to talk about it at the museum tomorrow?"

"Ah…" May said. They hadn't really agreed to meet up tomorrow with the way the conversation went, but this somewhat comforted her. "Maybe. Let's meet up outside the apartment in the morning."

The couch May was going to sleep on was a decent while away from Homura's bed. Apparently in this world, there was no Madoka and distant past she kept TV screens of, but the strange pendulum still swung above overhead. Homura ensured that May was seemingly calm and tucked in on the couch before retreating to her own bed. After a while, May got up from her position and looked at the way Homura slept, and a feeling of loneliness again consumed her heart. Homura was hugging blankets with a cute expression of neediness on her face, probably imagining the bundle in her arms to be Madoka, while May was sleeping alone with no excess bundle of blankets, instead of actually… actually in those lovely arms. Thinking of how warm Homura would feel, May wanted to hug and be hugged back, but she would face the night alone for decency's sake. She wasn't sure if she could actually fall asleep after that horrible nightmare, though, and wasn't sure if she did.

The next morning, the five Puella Magi met up and took the short walk to the nearby museum. The childlike expression of curiosity May showed upon observing the tanks was in vibrant contrast to the thought of someone who could smash down a huge section of a wall because she had a nightmare. The rest of the Puella Magi were only mildly impressed, but when May gazed into a tank, it was like her mind had been transferred into one of the creatures that lived there. I wonder if this is something we lose when we grow up? Homura wondered in her mind. Whenever she thought about doing things with Madoka, they were really just excuses to be with her, but the way May ranted about philosophy and observed her environment made it seem like she could appreciate so much by herself. And yet she said she wanted to share her life with somebody…

"May, are you going to just stay there?" Sayaka asked as May looked into the tank full of jellyfish. "They're just floating around. You don't have to spend so much attention on them."

"Quick!" May said to Sayaka, her eyes still on the pulsing, yellowish creatures laced with intricate red tinges. "Why do jellyfish exist?"

"If this is one of those 'what's those meaning of life' questions?" Sayaka asked.

"Not really," May said. "Jellyfish don't really interact much with their environment. They aren't really a food source, and neither do they help control populations. Why do they exist?"

"They exist because they can," Sayaka said, getting tired of May's questions already. "Either that, or they don't exist for any reason at all. Maybe they exist so we can ignore them because of how useless they are."

"Isn't that rather sad, though?" May asked. "If something just exists because it can, or exists to be ignored? Don't you think that everything in the world needs to either exist because of a reason or create a reason for existence themselves? I wonder what jellyfish think, then."

"Let's go, Kyoko, Mami," Sayaka said as walked off with the other girls.

"I'll watch after her," Homura said as she walked up next to May, trying to see what she was seeing in the jellyfish. "I guess I really can't see it," Homura said. "There's something invisible, something greater than magic, that people like you can see, right?" Homura asked. "When you're not talking, you're looking at the ridges around your cup or the dust on the table for some reason. And yet, you still consider us good friends…"

"I'm just looking at a tank full of jellyfish," May said. "…Sorry you're stuck with me. Let's go, shall we?"

That's right, Homura thought. There was definitely something special about May. She wouldn't exclaim "Wow, look at that!" or run her mouth off talking about how weird the animals were, but would merely give them a blank stare, as if whole-heartedly respecting and approving of their existence. Should that special thing in May be respected? People like her were certainly stuck in their own worlds, dealing with their own pains and pleasures… Well, even if it's not for everybody like this, I should still look after her, Homura thought. May was a friend after all.

"The natural world can be beautiful, can't it?" May asked Homura while gazing into a glass full of coral reefs. "I know animals eat each other and fight each other in the most cruelly efficient way possible, but most of the time, they're just out there. Existing and growing, like this coral. I think that it's there's so much time devoted to simply existing. It's peaceful, even if most people would find it boring. To think that people these days would rather watch a drama on TV or watch a sports game then just sit together with the people they like."

"So if the people in our group were like you, the table would be silent most of the time," Homura said. It was hard for her to follow normal conversations as well, and she wasn't sure if she would really enjoy it that much even with Madoka, but this was the first time she thought of staying silent as a viable option.

"I guess," May said. "I feel that it's a natural state to just not do anything for most of the time, even if that's supposedly unproductive. You see the fish and such floating around, but that's just because they're filtering water that way. It's as natural as breathing for them. Maybe it's a lot slower and gradual and maybe even lazy, but I think that coral reefs that take decades to grow should be respected as much as the fancy buildings people create and forget about in one or two years. Even the water looks beautiful as it shimmers in the light. We've explored the depths of the ocean a lot less than we've explored outer space, and the ways fish manage to survive in the oceans are as interesting as the ways life might've developed on other planets and moons. People are always rushing things, filtering things to say 'what's the single best thing for me, me, me?' when there's just so much beauty in the world you can appreciate."

"…" Homura fell short of words. "You've done a pretty good job of bringing the group back together, but I still feel this trip would be a lot more enjoyable with Madoka…" Homura caught herself. "Sorry. I enjoy being with you too. I was talking about more of the three of us together, and maybe the other girls too…"

"Someone needs to balance out my self-centeredness, huh?" May asked. "I'm always going on about what I believe, since that seems to be the most interesting thing."

"…I don't believe you're selfish." At that moment, May finally took her eyes off the coral and looked up at Homura. "Or maybe you're so selfish you're selfless. I don't know, you just… You reach so far into yourself that you go beyond it. Whenever something has to deal with you, it seems to deal with every other human on the planet. I don't know how to put this."

"Hmph," May said with an odd smile. "Let's get going. I'm done with the coral." After looking at some more creatures and appreciating the vast arrays of hues and mixtures they contained, May sat down on a bench with Homura. "Hey… Do I really have to sleep on the couch?"

Homura shrugged. "Your mattress is stuck in time. You can buy a sleeping bag if you want."

"Not that exactly," May said, trying to look her friend directly in the eye. "If I was in your bed, I'd probably have less nightmares…"

"Ah…" Homura revealed a mild look of surprise. "Sorry, it's just…" Homura looked away. "I want my bed to myself. Like you, I sort of have my own world I want to go to from time to time."

"No, I probably just made too radical a suggestion…" May said, her voice trailing off as that unhappiness in her heart grew. Damn, she thought to herself. Homura had said so many nice things to her already… When did she become so sensual?

* * *

"May would probably be a little upset if she found out we left the aquariums just to come here and eat churros," Kyoko said as she took a bite of the lengthy pastry she was holding.

"It's just a little break," Sayaka reasoned. "Most of the stuff May's interested in is boring. We'll look at the dolphins and go to the touch tank later. Besides, you like churros, don't you?" Mami didn't buy one of them, as perhaps she preferred a more delicate dessert.

"I guess…" Kyoko said as she held out her churro towards Sayaka. "Want a bite of mine? I didn't think these actually came in different flavors."

"A bite for a bite," Sayaka smiled as she held out her own churro. The two girls took bites of each other's churros and then brought them back to their chests. "It's nice to have friends, huh? Oftentimes you can't order mixed flavors, and if you order two you sort of end up with too much and feel like a pig. I don't know, it's probably nice to be a human that way. Getting to eat whatever and however much you want, and sharing… Man, most of those animals were really lame. It's not like I expected to watch them tear each other apart, but they should learn some tricks. I wonder why May always goes off about something supposedly deep and is entertained here by something so shallow."

"I don't think any of us would share her fascination," Kyoko said. "It is sort of interesting, though. When you think about all of the negative influences demons and conventions have on human behavior, looking at how the animals get by feels kind of natural and comfortable. I guess it's really too bad they have to eat each other, though. Want to share another bite?"

"Sure," Sayaka said, and after the share, Kyoko stifled a laugh as Sayaka drew her churro away. "What?" Sayaka asked, looking around her. "You better not be thinking of anything sexual out of this."

"No, it's just that you got a bunch of sugar stuck on your chin," Kyoko said as she took a napkin.

"I can do it myself… Aw, all right," Sayaka complied as Kyoko wiped the sugar crystals off of her chin. "I must be listening too much to May or something, to be thinking of stuff like that. What do you think she's doing now with that purple-eyed majesty? They can't be on a date, right?" Sayaka swung her legs back and forth, imagining all the scenarios in her head. "Or maybe May would actually be more attracted to the animals in the tanks."

"I don't know," Kyoko shrugged. "She seems weird, but I do think… She likes people, to an extent."

"It's like she treats people as objects of study and everything else as more valuable, though," Sayaka said. "It's ridiculous, really. Come to think of it, Homura still has that Madoka person, and May still has her dad… I wonder if they'll stay this way forever. They would make a so-so couple together, don't you think?"

"I'd rather not talk so much about them when they're not listening," Kyoko said. "They can choose what they do with their lives, and maybe they'll be too stubborn to accept a simpler, happy path… But I think I'd prefer it that way. I chose you over some other random Puella Magi that wouldn't cause this much trouble with the resurrection stuff."

"How long do you think May's going to stay here, though?" Sayaka asked. "She does have a home to go back to, right? Or is she so frustrated that she'll have to grow up there that she'll actually ditch her father to play with us? She was kind of interesting at first, but if more of those nightmare incidents occur she'll be a bother, plus her stream of endless hypothetical questions is starting to get on my nerves." Before Kyoko could respond, Sayaka's phone vibrated. "Ah, speak of the devil. May's telling us to meet up for lunch at the cafeteria."

May was sneezing a bit when Kyoko, Sayaka, and Mami met up with her and Homura. "I swear I don't have allergies," May said. "I just sneeze randomly, I guess… Anyways, everybody here? Order what you like, but you'll still have to pay your own share. Sorry."

As the five girls ate their lunch, Kyoko and Homura noticed May's mental turmoil get worse. To an extent she was visibly depressed, but since she didn't open her mouth to describe her problems it was assumed she wanted to be ignored. May's headaches were getting worse and worse as she stifled feelings of resentment and jealously, and kept herself from jumping out and acting out on her growing libido. The girls I hang out with are too adorable, May thought. _That's right, I'm definitely a pervert among them, to just want to jump out and hug not only Homura, but Kyo…_

"I'm going to the bathroom," May said with her food only half-finished. Homura eyed her tray suspiciously and wondered how much she should intervene should May suffer a mental breakdown of some sort. May usually had a better appetite than this.

"I actually have to go too," Kyoko said, causing Sayaka to look at her funny. "What? It's a coincidence."

"Damn it, this is stupid insane…" May grumbled to herself as she leaned her head against the bathroom wall, looking at the mirror. How much time would she spend in front of her own reflection? Her father… Damn it, this inheritance was really inevitable, right? At least no one else was in the bathroom at the time.

"Are you all right?" Kyoko asked as her reflection appeared from behind May's. May turned around with tired eyes. "Thought so… You aren't."

"So it wasn't just a coincidence?" May asked, restraining all the frustrated impulses in her heart.

"You look pretty bad," Kyoko said. "I think Homura's noticed it too, but even though you talk about what you think so much, you still are hiding something, right?" May looked away. "It's fine. Sayaka brought up the question of when you'd go back to your original world, but I think I actually want you to stay here… As a friend." Kyoko gave May a soft smile.

"Hey, Kyoko," May said, still having trouble looking at her friend's face. "Don't you ever feel that I'm spoiled, or something? You and Sayaka probably went through much worse, and all of my suffering – suffering that creates greater magic than the both of you – is merely just some pretentious grand illusion of understanding human nature and not actually because of my circumstances… And yet, you're the one who's capable of acting saner and more pleasant."

"Nah," Kyoko said, shaking her head softly. "I do sometimes get in that 'you don't deserve that' attitude, but I agree with you on what you said. I think that's just my self-righteousness and anger manifesting itself… I don't care how ridiculous your story sounds. Homura, I, and probably the other girls will be willing to listen to it."

"Really then…" May looked down at her chest, the highlights quivering nervously in her eyes. "You really are a good girl, Kyoko. A pure person." May looked at the electronic hand dryer. "Incidentally, if some lolicon freak was sexually attracted to you, but he actually had other sorts of emotions towards you like love, and that sort of stuff creates that weird sort of atmosphere… What would you think of him?"

"Are we playing a game?" Kyoko asked.

"Never mind," May said. "Forget I even asked that question." Are you going to dodge the issue, May? May thought to herself. _Are you going to blame your father for the thoughts in your head because you can't accept them? Or are you going to make some other excuse?_ May felt those unacceptable thoughts rise in her head, to grab this sweet little friend of hers and undress together and run her hands all over her body… "Just out of curiosity. Have you done it with Sayaka yet?"

"Done it…" Kyoko faintly flushed, a little nervous. "Not really. I'm not really sure why myself, but…"

"It must be nice though, right?" May asked. "To get to hug and kiss somebody and hold them tight every night… Ah, forget that too. I'm being stupid here. I'll be exercising my excretory system now." May opened up one of the stalls and went in, and Kyoko entered the one next to her.

"What?" Kyoko asked when the two were inside the stalls. "It was a coincidence. I'm actually not sure I would've gotten a time to talk to you alone otherwise though."

"Coincidence…" May muttered, thinking of the concepts of fortune and misfortune. The two girls came out at roughly the same time and washed their hands next to each other.

"You know, if you really need to, I'm up for hugging you, too," Kyoko said. "When's the last time you had a hug, anyways?"

"It's fine," May said. "I might sort of get greedy for more after a hug… As for the last time, I don't think I was comfortable hugging my dad after I turned thirteen. We would always hug quite a bit before then though."

"Ah, I see," Kyoko said as she started blow-drying her hands. "I think everybody needs a hug from time to time. People might go bad if they don't."

The five Puella Magi stuck together for most of the afternoon. At Sayaka's request, they all went to see the dolphins perform acrobatics, which was easily the most popular exhibit in the museum. Although most of the spectators were impressed, May actually appeared bored of all things. Perhaps the entertainment was too artificial and manipulated for her.

"Do you know that dolphins are one of the few animals other than humans that don't have a regular mating season?" May asked randomly.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sayaka asked.

"Nothing. Just a fun fact. Very few animals actually have sex for recreation, so humans are actually unique in their ability to choose who they want to settle down with. Their instincts usually tell them to mate, much like they're wired to seek food." No one bothered to respond to such a random fact. "By the way, killer whales are also dolphins, and their diet consists of cute little seals and other dolphins. They still live in their environment without destroying it, so they're actually probably worth preserving. Humans, on the other hand…"

"We don't need a replacement for Kyubey," was all Sayaka replied with. May stayed relatively silent for the rest of the dolphin performance.

"I actually think the skin feels pretty nice," Kyoko said as she felt the back of a stingray in the touch tank.

"It's smooth and all, but it's not something I'd want to touch all day, though," Sayaka said as she looked at May, who was touching the backs of multiple rays. "I thought you'd respect a natural environment or something, geez."

"They are already in this tank," May said. "And touching feels natural to me. Much more natural than dolphins performing tricks for human amusement."

"You really are a weirdo," Sayaka said.

"I don't know," Mami said. "The dolphins were pretty cute, but these rays are cute in their own way, too, along with the jellyfish and sea horses."

"Incidentally, do any of you ever wonder how a stingray actually eats?" May asked as she wiped her hands with a towel and took out her phone. "Let's see… Ah, here's the video." Everyone except Sayaka actually crowded around May's phone. The video consisted of a stingray swimming over a large group of crabs, and it was rather breathtaking and beautiful at first glance, the crabs awkwardly scuttling away while the stingray flew over it ominously like a god. Even Sayaka bothered to look now. But then the video switched to another camera where it filmed the stingray's mouth swallowing a crab whole, and the video ended with a bunch of crab corpses stuck all over the sea floor. "Much more efficient than cracking the shells like we do, huh?" May asked.

"Isn't this supposed to be a relaxing day off for us?" Sayaka asked. "And yet you still bring up this depressing BS…"

"I think it's rather cool," May said. "Humans overdramatize everything, but this is so plain and natural."

"Well, allow me to go back to my artificially constructed psychological cave," Sayaka said. "Watching animals eat each other isn't all that interesting."

"You're not going to say something like how the animals are just lesser beings?" May asked. "Oh, another interesting phenomenon is how long muscles can keep twitching after the nerves connecting the muscles to the brain have been severed." May pulled up another video on her phone, but the rest of the girls weren't looking. "Let's take this example of a live squid being cut up at a Japanese sushi restaurant… Heh?" May looked at the lack of attention she received disapprovingly. "Come on, this is cool. The squid even stands up after being decapitated… By the way, do you know that they boil and eat octopus alive in Korea?"

The five girls were about to leave the museum mid-afternoon when they sensed a demon's curse near the entrance. "Oh good, we haven't had a fight in a while," Sayaka said, giving May a sharp glance. "Try not to butt into this one if you're not needed, okay?"

"I'll still hang around and watch," May said as she entered the monster's barrier and transformed along with the other girls. A grey fog hung above the sky, and the ground was covered in a shallow layer of reflective water.

"Where the hell is this thing…?" Sayaka said as she walked around, making a brief circle. A shadow suddenly passed over her, and the blue-haired Puella Magi turned to look up. "What the hell are those things…?"

"I don't know, but it looks like this demon has multiple bodies," Mami said as more of those strange, screeching creatures flew overhead. "This is probably going to take a while."

"From the looks of it, I'd say they're giant flying crabs," May said. "But I guess I'll let you guys handle it on your own. Kyoko and Sayaka seem to have been easily defeating most of the demons around here recently, so I guess I'll just stay back and conserve energy."

"Aerial opponents aren't my specialty, but how hard can this be?" Sayaka asked as she jumped up into the sky, aiming straight into the flight of a crab. The creature swerved at the last moment, and Sayaka landed on the ground awkwardly. "Crap! Are they flying randomly?"

Kyoko's eyes widened. "Sayaka, behind…!"

"Got it," Sayaka said as she stabbed her sword into one of the chinks in the crab's armor behind her. The monster reeled back and staggered awkwardly, struggling to stand up. "Hehe, did you think I'd be that helpless? I guess we might just have to play a war of attrition then – wait, what the hell?!" The crab split into two parts and took back to the skies, flying in random directions again. Even then, the crabs still didn't crash against each other.

"If they're not colliding with each other, there has to be a pattern," Homura said. "But I really can't find one…" Homura fired purple arrows up at the sky, but they all missed their targets. "It's times like these when I wish I could still go and stop time…"

"I've got decent area-of-effect," Kyoko said as she pointed her spear towards the sky. "I'll bring them down, and you guys can handle the rest! Back me up in case I need it though." Kyoko jumped into the air and swung her spear in a wide arc, successfully making contact with one of the crabs. However, her chain somehow got tangled up along with the creature, and the redhead followed the crab's direction, being tossed about randomly in the air.

"Kyoko!" Sayaka shouted as Mami readied her muskets. The directions were indeed too random though, and after a few shots Mami didn't want to risk shooting Kyoko as well. "Jeez… When did fighting ever become so complicated?!"

"Damn it…" Kyoko muttered as she landed on the ground, clumsily holding her spear in her hand. "I'm dizzy and I still can't figure out how these things fly…"

"May, get them down," Sayaka turned to the hazel-eyed girl, who was off observing something in the corner. "Don't do everything for us after that, though."

"Got it," May said with an amused smile. "You know what they say. When all else fails, spin to win! Guru Guru Attaku!" May jumped up into the air and tucked her body into a ball, somersaulting repeatedly with her half-anchor. After a few seconds, it became apparent that she wasn't bringing anything down, and May landed back onto the ground with a shrug. "At least spinning was fun."

"There's something else you found," Sayaka said. "Quit joking around."

"Perhaps, perhaps," May said as she headed back towards the entrance of the demon's maze and crouched, inspecting something. "You four have been too busy looking at the enemy. An important tactic in warfare is to set up the battlefield with traps when your foes aren't paying attention." The other girls went over to where May was crouching. A small vent was lodged within the walls blowing out a thin stream of air. "This is what's creating the fog, which is what allows those crabs to fly in the first place. Anyone want to do the honors of smashing it?"

"Hmph," Sayaka said as she summoned an array of swords and cut out a giant portion of the wall.

May looked surprised at her recklessness. "I wouldn't let out all the fog that fast, but…" May's words were cut off when all of the giant crabs sunk down to the ground, landing swiftly before crawling in random directions. "These won't exactly be easy to fight. Random movements eventually fill up an empty space, and they're big enough to trample us easily…"

"I just have to aim for the cracks in their armor," Sayaka said as she turned towards a nearby crab. "If I cut them up into the smallest possible portions, they shouldn't be a threat, right? Come on, let's get them, Kyoko!" When the two melee fighters charged towards their foes, they realized that hitting the soft spots turned out to be a greater challenge than they thought it to be. "These little bastards really won't stop moving…" Sayaka said, frustrated. "How are you guys doing?"

"The center of the head seems to be another weak spot," Mami said as she fired a musket. "But we're having trouble too. The rest of the armor seems impenetrable."

"Holding these things in slow-time is a ridiculous energy drain, too," Homura said as she struggled to aim an explosive arrow at one of the crabs slowed in time.

"What about you, May?" Sayaka said as she turned to look behind her. May was sitting on her anchor, entranced in some random thought of hers. The crabs just seemed to bounce off of the anchor as they collided with it, going about their own paths. "What the hell?! Get your head in battle!" Sayaka yelled as she barely dodged a crab coming from her side. "We obviously need you!"

"Okay then," May said as she spun about on her anchor, pulling in a small group of crabs around her with a mini-whirlpool. She was able to smash a couple of crabs in the face before they started to randomly scuttle about again. The two crabs she had brought down were merely stunned, but apparently in that state their armor was weakened too, and May smashed her anchor into the centers of the bodies with ease. A strange, black blood spurt out of the wound before the crab dissolved into nothingness. However, May didn't have much time to celebrate her victory, as more crabs started to randomly scurry her way. "I need Kyoko over here!" May yelled. "We can easily bring these things down fast if we both use arced attacks!"

"Huh?!" Sayaka asked as she awkwardly rode one of the crabs, struggling to try and stab the head with difficulty due to the random changes in velocity. Kyoko was having a much better time than her due to her area-of-effect, and was providing her cover as well. "…What kind of logic is that?!"

"It's actually quite sound," Homura said as she flew alongside Sayaka with her wings. "Mami and I will cover for you. I have a plan as well, but you'll have to help with it."

"Sayaka, don't worry about it!" Kyoko said as she jumped over to May's side.

"Thanks," May said as she spun on her anchor again. With May making whirlpools sucking the crabs in and Kyoko making arced twirls slashing at the crabs' heads, significant numbers of enemies were quickly defeated.

"You're going into fast-time," Homura said as she put her hand on Sayaka's chest, covering her with a purple aura. Sayaka felt woozy at first before starting to see clearly. Everything around her was beginning to slow down. Sayaka looked at Kyoko and May, slightly frustrated at how well they were working together with such a simple yet effective tactic. "I couldn't do it myself because I'm not fast enough and I'm a ranged fighter," Homura explained, her voice not slowed one bit. "Just stab into the heads. Mami and I will finish them off. Got it?"

"Got it, purple-eyed majesty," Sayaka said as she shook off those annoyed thoughts and chased after the crabs, stabbing into their heads one by one with her sword. She could hear the sounds of Mami and Homura's explosive projectiles in the background as the enemies around her slowly disappeared. Splitting up into these two groups, the five Puella Magi made quick work of their foes. At the end of the battle, what remained of the fog and strange water complied together into an egg, which exploded into a few black cubes of Grief.

"Who's taking it this time?" Sayaka asked. "I thought Kyubey said that it'd be better if we didn't use these cubes to absorb our taint or something like that. Well, I don't think any of us are having any problems…"

"May," Homura said. "Let me see your Soul Gem." May reached into her blue outfit and pulled out her orange Soul Gem among the request. It was more than half-filled with taint.

"And I was thinking of taking it for myself…" Mami said as she took out her own, which was around twenty percent tainted.

"Does she really need it, though?" Sayaka asked. "She's already pretty powerful enough as it is, and I'm sure she'll find out a way to survive like her father…"

"Sayaka." Kyoko said bluntly. That was all she said, as if not wanting to create conflict between the two girls. Sayaka observed her mostly-pure Soul Gem with wonders. Everything's so easy for her, and yet she's still so miserable… Sayaka thought. _What the hell?_ Sayaka didn't understand any of this at all.

"That must be a lot of taint," Homura said as she drained the black specks out of May's Soul Gem. Even with the three or four black cubes spent, only around twenty percent of the taint in the gem was removed. "But that must also be a pretty big soul, huh?"

"Thanks, Homura," May said softly as she put the Soul Gem back in her outfit. The surrounding maze of the demon collapsed, and the five girls were transported back outside the museum.

"Haven't seen you in a while," Homura said as a certain white-tailed creature ran up to collect the used-up cubes of Grief.

"I thought I'd let humans decide their own fate for the event that's coming up," Kyubey said with the familiar plastic smile on its face as it digested the black cubes. "Although the new girl there really is quite an interesting one, it's just more important to get new girls to make contract than to visit the old ones."

"Begone, you little mongrel," Sayaka said as she kicked at Kyubey's tail. The Incubator leapt away just like that, prepared to recruit some other girls as Puella Magi.

As the five girls headed back to their apartment, another strange tension rose up between them. Although the battle had been legitimately won, it seemed as if there were a lot of things that were ignored, and a lot of things that weren't talked about. With that Saturday, the chain of miscommunication was furthered, and the weight of invisible suffering continued to press down on May's heart.


	4. Indignation

Indignation

Homura noticed an unnatural spike in the levels of magic around her Saturday night and woke up instantly, prepared to deal with the situation at hand. She ran over to where May was sleeping on the couch to find her friend tossing around in her sleep, her face distorted and in discomfort. "May," Homura said as she shook the hazel-eyed girl's shoulders. "May, get up…"

May tossed herself up from the couch in a panic, taking deep breaths and looking around the room suspiciously. "Ah…" May said. "Thanks for waking me up, Homura."

"No problem," Homura said, and the two girls remained in their positions for a bit, not knowing what to do. It was around 3 AM. "Um… You're going to have trouble sleeping a bit, aren't you? Anything I can do to help?"

"N-Not really," May said shyly. "It's just good that you stopped me from destroying the place again."

"Actually…" Homura said. "I'll go and make some hot chocolate. I have nightmares too sometimes, and drinking helps me calm down a bit."

"You really don't need to…" May started, but Homura was already running the hot water and the cheap chocolate mix. A few moments later, May held a steaming warm mug in her hands. "Thank you," May said again as she put the cup up to her mouth and sipped gently. It was just cheap powder and sugar mixed with hot water, but getting it from Homura made it taste a lot better. "…You know, this might happen every night though." May lowered the cup onto the blankets covering her legs. "Eventually, this won't be enough…"

"Well…" Homura started, and then realized that she wasn't going to make empty promises. "Never mind about that. You want to tell me about the nightmares?"

"It's just…" May started. "It might seem silly to you, maybe not. A precious thing of mine is getting taken away and I'm forced to forget about it or something of that sort. I don't even remember the dream in its entirety, but that's what I can seem to vaguely recall. Maybe it's not necessarily a memory. Maybe I'm being separated from some important feelings in my heart."

"That's not silly at all, though," Homura said to May with a gentle smile. "There are many things like that… Mental things, spiritual things that I wouldn't like to lose either. Although I guess my nightmares usually consist of a physical image being harmed... Sorry. I'm bad with words."

"It's fine," May said. "Thanks again, Homura. It just feels nice to have someone by my side." With that, Homura went back to her bed and May turned over, trying to get back to sleep. Falling unconscious proved to be a difficult task though, as the pangs of loneliness started to shoot up just a few minutes after Homura left May's side. How much did she really care? May wondered, and then scolded herself inside for her greediness.

During the daytime, May would go back to her own apartment, for she didn't want to bother Homura too much with her personal habits and would probably be ignored anyways. Her bed was rock hard and felt weird to lie on, being frozen in time and all, and May really started to feel as if she didn't have many places to relax anymore. As the nightmares worsened over the next week, May's interactions with her friends degenerated. Oftentimes she would be seen looking down with a sleepy face, dejected about something, and the things she ended up talking about started to get more and more sexual, which was ignored on a whole different level than her other sorts of rants. She had nightmares whenever she went to sleep now, and ended up making her own hot chocolate after being woken up by Homura.

"Do we really have to get involved in your problems, May?" Sayaka asked one Wednesday as the five girls sat in the usual café. "I mean, if you would bring up ways to actually solve things instead of just moping about so much, that'd be appreciated."

"She is a fellow Puella Magi and a friend," Kyoko said as she looked at May's tired and worn-out face. "We would be there if you were in such a situation too, Sayaka."

"Actually, you were the only one that was there," Sayaka said. "Perhaps May just needs to find herself someone that can understand her better, and I'm not going to bother doing that."

"Madoka was there for you too, Sayaka," Homura said. "…Even though only May and I here know of her, and only I actually remember her, I think we should follow her example. She cried a lot for you, and was willing to talk to you even when things got really bad."

"Well then, how do you suggest we deal with her? Because I'm tired of either listening to her self-absorbed rants or more recently, watching her look all depressed and stuff."

"I hate it when people do that," May said. "When they talk about people in their presence in the third person… Never mind about that. Well I guess you did bring up a point, Sayaka. Maybe I should've talked more about my past from the beginning. Please limit the interruptions as I partake in another sort of 'self-absorbed rant'."

"You're going to say it in such a public place?" Kyoko asked.

"It is something the four of you should listen to," May explained. "And I'm not going to put things off anymore. Very well. I've mentioned ideas and perhaps moral issues in a bunch of our previous meetings for personal reasons. Daddy was what Sayaka could call otaku scum. He was a lolicon like me, and found it sort of hard to be aroused with the distracting presence of breasts. School uniforms and school swimsuits turned him on. Well, it's not like he would've ever harmed real children or anything, for he was sort of enamored with those puppy-dog eyes as well. In our universe – believe me with this one – a large portion of what happened with the Puella Magi in this school, Madoka included, was merely an original anime airing on television, which eventually expanded into other forms of media given its popularity."

"Wait, wait," Sayaka said. "Why would an anime about us be popular? Were there that many lolicons in your world?"

"All stories become interesting when they're told well," May said. "Or at least, most of them. You sort of did a 180 on the whole magical girl concept. And no, most of the more common fans were probably more along the lines of 'she's too pure' and were more into yuri pairings and the like."

"So on your world, there's doujinshi of me and Kyoko…" Sayaka started.

"H-doujins too," May said. "Monster and gang rape doujins too, but never mind that. In any case back to my dad." Sayaka looked over to Kyoko with a confused glance, and Kyoko shrugged. "He probably wasn't as smart as me when I was a child, but he was actually quite obedient and normal, if not quiet. Most of his motivation for doing homework and the like came from what he felt as a moral obligation to do so rather than care for self-preservation. He did feed his ego for a while, but bored of it… And later on, in middle school, news articles and social studies classes made the whole idea of morality seem a lot more relative, and so he'd ask 'why even bother?' He was probably overly sensitive, but even without much physical punishment, listening to his parents instilled strange feelings of inadequacy within him. His dad would always say that humans are naturally lazy and have to work on things they don't want to just to survive. That was the concept of morality and 'earning' things, supposedly. Perhaps this feeling that all devotion, all love indeed, was merely artificial set up the further problems to come."

"What does this have to do with…?" Sayaka started, but was cut off swiftly.

"He didn't turn to religion. A few logical arguments and poof, reason to believe in God was gone, and he didn't like community gatherings anyways. When he was around thirteen or fourteen, you could say he made a contract. It wasn't magical, however, it was more of something psychological that triggered within his mind. Perhaps it started mid-7th grade, but it ramped up a lot more a few years later. He decided to be devoted to writing stories, and original writing too. He wouldn't rely on classes or tips from others; the feelings of inadequacy and his natural shyness and introversion made him want even more to be an individualist. People bored him, and ideas were infinite and to an extent much more unpredictable. He would go to any length to achieve this solitude and peace of mind to compose his works. He went pretty damn crazy in tenth grade, you know - stealing his parents' credit card and ordering a netbook online when he couldn't secretly log on anymore. In any case somehow the whole crisis worked out, and he peacefully resolved to just get by with life and write when he watched the anime about you all, _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_, in the summer before 11th grade."

"Oh God…" Sayaka muttered.

"He wasn't attracted to you, Sayaka," May said. "Although he didn't hate you, either. There were a few brief incidents of obsession with fictional things earlier in his life, but this was definitely the most significant one was here. Homura Akemi. Naturally devoted. Stoic, cool, mysterious and two-sided. (Twin braids make a girl look even younger, do you know that?) A loli with a flat chest and pantyhose in her outfit." Homura didn't seem too disturbed by this. "And you know, you can call it impure and filthy all you want, but when that sort of irrational, overwhelming love just rises from the bottom of the heart – when you see that most people in the world really don't seem to care much about anything and that you suddenly feel you're _naturally devoted_ – then you know that that feeling is precious, that it's important. Maybe it started as sexual interest, but it grew. It grew to the extent that he really wanted to protect and cherish her, to the extent that all of the mundane things in life that would usually be boring became important and enjoyable because they're done with that certain someone. He would toss away all his pretentious literature in the blink of an eye if he could be with her. Sure, it's a wild dream, a delusion, a fantasy. But it's what he really wanted. His grandfather – my great-grandfather – advised that if one pretended to be happy, they'd eventually become truly happy. But to him, the people who knew what they want and never get it were definitely happier than the people who just pretended to always be satisfied."

"Isn't he just one big coward?" Sayaka asked. "Aiming for Homura because he'd think she'd understand selfless devotion or something, and on top of that fantasizing when he didn't even believe in her… Did he even try fishing for real girls?"

"He sent philosophical letters-in-lockers," May said, pointing to Sayaka with a stiff index finger. "Sure, he was an idiot, but don't call him a coward. Maybe he is pretentious, but he knew what he wanted, and it definitely wasn't a shallow relationship with a girl he randomly met. Those letters would only acknowledge the ordinary attraction between an adolescent male and female for a few sentences before going on all about all sorts of psychology and philosophy. And in any case this all stopped once he fell heads-over-heels for Homura. He wasn't just satisfied with his delusion, you know? He actually wanted to come here, and I think he actually did. He was ready to be abused and tortured for your entertainment. He was ready to go through all sorts of pain as long as it ensured interaction. The people that stand by the sidelines and just watch saying 'she's too pure for me' are the true cowards. It wasn't enough to just dream of everything, to just think of everything. He wanted to actually do it."

"Agh," Kyoko said, pressing her palm to her forehead, a sharp pain suddenly forming there. Sayaka looked over to her with concern. "Ah, sorry. It's fine, the pain's gone now… I just had a flash of repressed memories or something. I thought May looked familiar. So did he actually come here?"

"He did, and did quite a lot of unpleasant things during his stay, you could argue," May said. "Eventually, though, he had to exile himself and do a big memory-wipe on everyone, including himself. Perhaps the reason why the anime existed on his own world is because that was the best way he could bring back without feeling totally worthless. His actual actions here came in the forms of daydreams and wild fantasies, which were probably altered significantly by his ego. In the end, he tried to give a happier ending for this world… But the Ordered had to step in and make major regulations, due to all of the recent instability. They established an automatic stabilizer of some sort, and yet another mass memory-wiping took place. But hey, here I am now. Would you rather forget all about this and remain pure?"

"That made no sense whatsoever," Sayaka said. "Why was he a lolicon?"

"Why do normal men like breasts?" May asked, and allowed for a short pause. "…It was really hard for him, you know? It was hard to believe in that sort of devotion and unconditional love when in the end, as behaviorists would put it, everyone gets conditioned. Parents enforce their socio-economic norms onto their children, and in the end it's usually just an attempt at replicating their ego anyways. People in relationships and marriages argue about stupid things like money. People only seem to care for themselves or their own twisted, conditioned ideas of justice, which is designed to favor them anyways. The grown-up world is shallow, demanding and superficial, but it makes sense to be that way. When you're in love, you disregard that sort of common sense. The emotions run free and give you pain or pleasure whenever necessary, and the destination doesn't matter anymore. Isn't that so?"

"What does that have to do with being sexually attracted to little girls?" Sayaka asked.

"It was more than that," May said. "He wanted to protect and play with them, but he was a male, after all. I feel that if it wasn't for the concepts of moral relativity and self-determination, he would've either gone mad or became… twisted. I know you already think he's messed up as it is, but he never wanted to kill, he never wanted to rape. He never wanted to hurt any of you, but sometimes even when trying your best to stop those dark wants, they come out and take you by the throat. He wrote his delusions as fanfiction, you know. And as you can guess they were received rather poorly. He had, how should I call it, feelings for Kyoko too, although they weren't nearly as strong. Cute, pure, daring and idealistic."

"That's gross," Sayaka said.

"He wasn't afraid to put all of the sexual thoughts in his head down, too," May said. "Both Homura and Kyoko."

"Oh my God…" Sayaka put her face in her palm and shook her head.

"He was sixteen to seventeen then, at least. In any case, after being unaccepted and hated by the community, all he really had was his love, because everything else was conditioned. Even if Homura would treat him like crap, he would far prefer this painful love rather than to be filled with nothing but pride and hate and only care for himself. Even if it meant being a lolicon, even if it meant only being attracted to puppy-dog eyes and flat chests. Even if it meant spending every night alone and in pain. I know I said I didn't believe in Plato's Cave, but perhaps something brilliant appeared in the corner of his own cave and then darted off, and he's been looking for it ever since."

"Well, I guess I see your problems," Sayaka said, and then froze as she looked at May. "Wait. There's more."

May sighed. "I guess perhaps he resolved that doing the best thing for himself in his life was raising a daughter. And he was happy, really happy with me, even if I wasn't planned. Even my grandparents came to overlook the fact that I was illegitimate. But after I turned thirteen, I guess we just both realized I had to grow up, and soon, Daddy would lose everything he had devoted himself to in life. It had nothing to do with the whole lolicon thing… I wanted to understand him more. I already knew quite a bit about his teenage obsessions before traveling to this world and making my stupid contract with Kyubey, but to think… It's actually still going on now. A man in his late thirties still thinking of a magical time-traveling middle school girl – pathetic, isn't it?"

A short silence surrounded the table, and then Mami spoke up. "Well, what are you going to do now, May?"

"Daddy probably wouldn't even be angry at me if I told him what I did," May said, the volume of her voice lowering. "Maybe he'd say something like this was good enough for him because his daughter was passing on his ego, and that human males weren't all that valuable anyways – at least not as valuable as little girls. But, you know…" May appeared to be tearing up a bit. "I'm tired of all of this phony moral judgment and hatred in this world! Sure, sure… He's narcissistic, arrogant, impulsive and lustful, but he's also romantic, intelligent, honest and understanding. He's a human being with dreams and desires, thoughts and feelings… I don't get how people can be so mean to each other, I mean… It's all so simple. To eat good food with people you love, to share someone's warmth in bed, to walk home side by side in an umbrella on a rainy day… And he was still my father, you know? He played games with me and did all of that baby talk crap, he brought me soup when I was sick and held me on a stormy night. I don't get it… I really don't get it. Free will, morality, and responsibility have nothing to do with it. This is just respecting your fellow man…"

"And he can't enjoy any of it unless it's with a loli," Sayaka said. "Ah, well… Just out of curiosity, why didn't he name you Homura? Was he thinking that an event like this might finally happen?"

"I'm not even that good of a friend to you guys," May said as she wiped her nose with a napkin. "I hog up the spotlight be it in battle or in conversation. I'm just a reincarnation of the twisted scoundrel that is my father… I pretend that I know everything, but I really don't know anything."

"Here's a tissue," Mami pulled out a pocket tissue pack from her pocket and slid it over to May, who took it and blew her nose messily.

"Thank you," May said. "Thanks again."

It was raining as the five girls left the café, and May was sharing Homura's umbrella again, still blowing her nose. "Your dad," Homura said. "I'd like to meet him… Again, right?"

"You shouldn't," May said. "I'm the closest you'll come to him. He exiled himself for a reason, you know."

"But if he doesn't see me, he won't change," Homura said. "Isn't that so?"

"How do you know he won't change for the worse after you meet him and dismiss him?" May asked. "Surely, you wouldn't think of staying with him, right? After he had a child and all…"

"I'd still prefer he change," Homura said. "What do you want for dinner tonight? We can make it together."

"Thanks…" May said, wiping off the slime from the sides of her nose. "Thanks… I'm such a spoiled crybaby, right?"

Homura's expression merely softened as she entered the apartment complex with May. Upon entering the room, Homura walked over to one of the shelves and pulled out a scrap of paper. "I found this a while ago. It's in English, though." May took the scrap of paper and read the typed font, and then translated it to Japanese.

"Loneliness is the silent disease that kills, that makes strong people appear weak," May read. "A lot of the terrible things that seem to occur for no reason at all occur because of loneliness. The feeling, the mood of being alone chips so slowly into the mind that no one around them notices. Hatred and insanity rises, and people look for a way to prevent it. But there is no single cure for loneliness, as there is no single symptom. Only a special something – an idea, a person – will cure someone of loneliness, but then they pass on to the wretched delusions of love. Loneliness is something that most people decide to suppress and ignore, but those that walk into the delusion of love will find both divine pain and divine pleasure."

"I like it," Homura said.

"Hmph," May said as she pocketed the scrap of paper. "My presence… This sort of curious analyzing of human nature still can't compare with the purity of Madoka's compassion, right?"

"I think it's something to be valued, though," Homura said. "Your dad had feelings for me and consequently, you do too…" Homura paused, not sure of what to say in the situation. "Thanks for talking about it though. That really was all that you were hiding, wasn't it?"

May nodded. "I know, you're still going to distance yourself as a friend, huh? Well, I should be the one taking responsibility for my own actions anyways. You really didn't have to listen to me, but you did." May paused and licked her lips. "Am I a coward? Ideally, I do think that people should sculpt their own fates, but I'm just taking my father's torch and passing it down in some sort of vicious cycle. I should've made something more of myself, and my father probably wanted me to as well. But now I'm just sort of living out his twisted dream of hanging out with middle school girls, and not doing that great a job of it too."

"Was there some other path that would've made you happier?" Homura asked, and May paused a bit before shaking her head. "Then you aren't really a coward, are you? It's okay to want to be tied to someone you truly love. For all I know I didn't get along as nearly as well with my parents…"

"What do I do now, though?" May asked as she sat down on the couch. "I feel pretty pathetic having to consult someone else, but I mean that's all I can do in this situation."

"I don't really know," Homura said, looking away. "Personally I guess it'd be nice if all of us went on some big trip sliding between universes. If you ever need to talk to me, I'll be waiting for you though. Sorry… I'm not much help, am I? We can really only offer you mundane comforts for now."

"It's fine," May said. "Let's make dinner, shall we?"

* * *

Arla dismembered projectile after projectile as she charged towards the demon with her cold-bladed scythe. The monster she was up against was something along the lines of a giant tree shooting out branches. She had probably taken down a dozen or so demons today, and would cram in a few more before night fell. Even without using the black cubes of Grief, her Soul Gem remained burning bright. She had confidence in her purpose in life for many years, and it was about to come to completion.

"Overdoing it a little, are you?" Zusa asked as Arla reached the demon's body and started hacking away swiftly and skillfully. "Are you really sure that you need this much training just in case of emergency? Or are you planning something else, as I suspect? If I recall correctly, the Ordered's mission is to keep the status quo…"

As the tree-demon collapsed after suffering its defeat, Arla landed on the ground and brushed her smooth white hair away with her hand. "That May girl you brought in is about to go unstable, regardless of her psychological state. I can't allow her stupid raw power to beat my years of experience."

"Can't you just call in backups, though?" Zusa asked.

"They're working on something classified," Arla said. "It's not for your ears to hear, as you're still a low-ranking member… Oh, and if you ever think of going against us, I will end you." Arla flashed her scythe at Zusa, who was leaning on her curved sword passively as the scenery around her returned to the city in Europe. Zusa had heard a number of death threats aimed at her before, but Arla's words came out in a considerably threatening manner.

"It's not like I could even do anything about it if I could," Zusa said, shrugging. Even with her and May, a ragtag group of six Puella Magi wouldn't defeat the ultimate lawkeepers ensuring order in this world. If Arla's group was actually in the minority, though, something could be done… However, Zusa still only had the slightest idea of what was going on, and didn't know how to send the warning.

As the secret faction in the Ordered trained for its revolution, May looked over her body as she washed herself in the shower. She let the water flow freely, the hot liquid surrounding her body and absorbing all her cold stress. There was nothing bulging out between her legs, and she was a young virgin girl, of all things. If she was supposedly so pure, why was she having so many impure thoughts? Or rather, the definition of pure was completely arbitrary… Pure is just a self-righteous word people use to justify whatever they like. If she was going to be pure, she was either going to keep herself willingly ignorant of certain desires and natures or going to indulge in a childlike curiosity until she became impure. What is this stupidity, anyways? May thought as she scrubbed her hair violently. The girl really wanted to see both sides of every issue, but the opposing forces were tearing her mind apart. It was as if she was balancing on a fence twenty meters high… But staying on one side of the fence and pretending to understand while actually disregarding the other side certainly isn't a way to live!

May spoke less and less during her time with friends, and her strange rant about her father seemed to be something now forgotten by the other girls. Well, what could they do about it except flash her concerned glances, after all? They were all so pure. During a Saturday, everyone headed over to Mami's apartment again, and even though May brought her toys again, something was off, and it wasn't sure who was to blame. May and Homura started out making domino armies, barricading a certain piece and stacking three dominoes to make gunners, but the violent smashing of the top to launch the center piece made the atmosphere quite uncomfortable for some reason. In the end, May set up lines dominoes one by one, making a few splits and jumps, but mostly making long lines. All Homura could really do for May was make her own domino lines on the side while Kyoko, Sayaka, and Mami did their own things.

"Out of curiosity, have you heard of the novel _Crime and Punishment_?" May asked at the dinner table. "The main character in the book is a poor but intelligent student who came up with a certain theory, you see. He states that most of the people in the world have to follow certain moral restraints, but the geniuses and revolutionaries are obligated to break them if they are to fulfill their service to humanity. As for if there just happens to be a commoner that is full of himself, he will be thrown in prison anyways, and through this filtering we get our Napoleons and Caesars."

"And I thought you weren't hungry for power and control," Sayaka said. "Listen, if you really do something stupid in the real world we won't come and bail you out. And besides, I see that although you may not be bound by social convention, you still do care about people to some extent. You don't really seem to be a likely candidate to actually fulfill this role of a revolutionary."

"Well," May said, "The protagonist actually reasons that many of these revolutionaries aren't just calculating sociopaths, and that they shoulder an immense conscience weighing down on them even if they reason that they're doing things for the greater good. But – and this is something that's not explicitly mentioned in the book – what a waste it would be, to feel like you aren't reaching your true potential! Surely, being a revolutionary and a criminal, even failing at that, would be better than just living an unsatisfying commoner's life. This isn't really my opinion, but it was also said that people possess traits within themselves at birth, and the revolutionary would be born unsatisfied with following and the commoner satisfied."

"That theory's rather cruel," Kyoko said. "To think that special people have this obligation to be miserable just because they're special or whatever… Surely, there's a better world than that."

"So then," Sayaka said, growing rather impatient. "What actually happens in the book? Do they just talk about random philosophy all day?"

"The protagonist actually goes out and kills a hated banker of the sort just to test his theory, and successfully hides the evidence even when things go against his plans, all the time while fighting against his conscience. Throughout the novel, however, he's shown to be quite kind-hearted even if psychologically twisted. He pays for an acquaintance's funeral, stops an innocent streetwalker from being framed of a crime, and prevents his sister from marrying a terribly pretentious man. He eventually confesses, is tried, is diagnosed with monomania, and is sent to prison in Siberia doing hard labor or something for eight years. In any case, the streetwalker he made interactions with comes to visit him, and they make simple plans for the future."

"Doesn't streetwalker mean prostitute?" Mami asked.

"She was just needed the money for her poor family," May explained as she turned to Sayaka, who had a skeptical look on her face. "What? Are you too pure to try and understand things like this? I guarantee you if you read the book, you'll see that that prostitute was as pure as any one of us here, as she was actually attempting to forgive the protagonist despite his crimes, and make a better life."

"Maybe I'm just stupid," Sayaka said. "Or maybe you just have a mental illness. Ah, whatever. We're commoners in comparison to you, right?"

"I don't think you really believe in the theory that people are destined to become strong or weak, right?" May asked. "I don't believe in it either. Just an interesting thing to bring up."

"Then if you aren't destined, why even bother?" Sayaka asked. "If you're going to hold all these thoughts in your head, do something about it instead of talking about it to us. Turn the world upside down, I don't care, but it really seems like you aren't doing what you want when you're hanging around us all the time. Are you going to follow the desires you got from your father or not? Make a choice." Kyoko took in a deep breath and let out a compassionate sigh.

"Never mind," May said. "I shouldn't have brought it up." When May left the apartment, she knocked down her dominoes with a bored expression and took them away.

From then on, Sayaka began to actively ignore May. She didn't care if that made her a hypocrite or whatever, but May's character was beginning to get more despicable than annoying to her. Here was someone that was just wasting her time making other people feel like they're wasting their time.

Without Sayaka's absolutist responses, the number of May's rare chips of conversation fell down to zero. The other girls would just say relatively common "I see your point" type of statements or stay silent due to their inability to say anything meaningful. However, May still tagged along with the group, despite having little to no interaction with them now.

What was I doing all this time? May thought to herself. She couldn't help over-thinking things, and as many demons as she took down on her own, it wouldn't undo all of the natural faults that she ended up finding in the normal psyche. Perhaps she just wanted to cling on to Homura, just like Sayaka had clung on to Kyoko after she became upset at the lack of an absolute justice. As long as she could find one human being to share intense love with, the rest of the world could be forgiven. But she couldn't do that, right? And even if she could, would it guarantee her happiness?

"Wow, this game really is old," Sayaka said as she commented on a new game that appeared in the arcades. This was something that she would normally whenever she hung out with only Kyoko.

"It's Guilty Gear," Kyoko said. "I'm actually glad they brought it back. It was pretty fun, even if it was really weird." As Kyoko selected "2 Player" with her controller, Sayaka flashed a surprised look as the announcer voice yelled "Please select your character!"

"Okay, so you're hovering over this character named May with an anchor," Sayaka said. "I'm guessing the whole naming thing wasn't a coincidence."

Kyoko shrugged. "May might've just played this and like the game, thus having an anchor as her weapon, and her father might've just liked the name. I mean, our names certainly aren't special. I guess the May we know has her anchor partially broken and a blue suit instead of an orange one, though…"

"Ah, whatever," Sayaka said. "I'm going to pick this samurai girl with one arm. Go easy on me, will you?" A few minutes later, Kyoko won 2-0. "I wouldn't call doing a whole bunch of lame dolphin loop combos that eat up 40% plus health 'easy'."

"Sorry, they're really fun," Kyoko said. "I'll try to go easier next time." After winning a few more rounds trying to toggle her easy mode, Kyoko turned back to notice May watching them. "Want to play with us, May?"

"Hmph," Sayaka said as she left her position. "She can have fun beating herself up. I have a feeling that she'll be good at this." May chose Slayer, the well-dressed vampire with a monocle and cigar, while Kyoko stayed on May. It was a pretty good match-up, but May ended up winning 2-1 with her unpredictable mixups.

"Well played," Kyoko said. "I don't know, I didn't think you'd play Slayer."

"Good game to you too. In any case, I got tired of May's loli-ness a while ago," May said. "Slayer just has an awesome walk, crouch, and knocked-out animation, doesn't he?"

"Right, right," Sayaka said. "Let's get going, Kyoko." Sayaka took her friend's hand and dragged her off, and Kyoko gave May a worried look as she left the arcades. May took out a coin and started playing Arcade mode on Maniac. Homura appeared behind May after a few rounds, apparently having predicted she'd be here.

"Not the character I'd think you'd choose," Homura said. "But I guess he looks like your style."

"Are you going to worry about me without doing anything?" May asked with her button-mashing undisrupted. "Oh well. I suppose I'm like that too, you know."

"Are you trying to fight off your feelings?" Homura asked. "Not just the ones for me, but I mean your emotions in general."

"You know," May said as she piloted an air combo. "Love really borders on hate. If you try to love more than you actually can, you'll end up hating everything, cursing everything… When you really love something, everything becomes dull and thus hated in comparison. But if you love everything, is that really love?"

"And yet, this emotion still persists," Homura said. "Regardless of logic or circumstances… I'm sorry I can't do more for you."

"I'm sorry I'm such a burden," May said as she lost the match and decided not to continue. "Want to play a quick game together? It's on me."

After the game, Homura and May walked back to the apartment complex together. May was temporarily consoled a bit, but her emotions fell after returning to her place. No matter how she looked at it, she felt like one big irrational coward.

* * *

"You think I'm being too mean to May, don't you?" Sayaka asked when she returned to the apartment with Kyoko.

"Well…" Kyoko sighed. "Yes. Do you really think just ignoring her like this is going to help anybody?"

"Hmph," Sayaka said as she crossed her arms and sat down on the bed. "Regardless of who's fault it is, I think some things have to be protected. Perhaps I see May as a person with a disease in her body, and I just don't want that disease to pass on to the people I care about. So I'll get my hands and mind dirty to stop that. I don't care how hypocritical it makes the guardian, purity is something that needs to be protected."

"Surely there must be a better way, though," Kyoko said. "Perhaps it's less about answering her questions than about giving her a more comfortable situation. I think that people are just more or less adjusted to certain environments, and although we're not obligated to change things for her…"

"There's probably a better way," Sayaka said. "But I don't want to risk the things that are important to me to reach it. Sorry if I sound like some control-obsessed parent, but I really think this needs to be done." Sayaka put a hand over her chest. "May's a lot different from me, so you can't compare doing something for me with doing something for her."

Shivers suddenly filled the air as the girls sensed a demon to slay nearby. "From my senses, it seems to be on the roof of the apartment," Kyoko said, and she ran up to the roof, followed by Sayaka. "Let's not get full of ourselves. It's just the two of us this time."

"We've taken down plenty of strong demons before," Sayaka said as she entered the labyrinth with Kyoko, transforming into her Puella Magi outfit and summoning her sword. "How much trouble could this be?"

"The air feels… different," Kyoko said as she held her spear in one hand and weaved her fingers through the air. "Should we back out and call backup?"

"Let's not," Sayaka said, tightening her grip on her sword as a spherical figure came out of the mists. "Just fight well." The demon appeared to be a giant rolling boulder with circular gaps inside of it, and its first attack was a simple attempt to roll the two girls over. "More heavy armor, huh?"

"The area seems pretty narrow," Kyoko observed as she noticed a wall behind her. "Looks like we'll have to climb up this thing's body…" As the two Puella Magi jumped onto the enormous sphere and ran across it, totem poles started to rise out from the ground beneath them, moving forward at them in irregular patterns.

"Get out of my way!" Sayaka said as she slashed one of the poles with her sword, but was instead knocked back and almost crushed over had not she clung onto Kyoko's spear. Sayaka heaved herself up and ran next to Kyoko. "I'm tired of all this heavy armor, really."

"You were the one that said to fight well," Kyoko said as she swerved to the left to dodge a totem coming at her. "I guess we're looking for a weak spot, are we?"

"I hate battles like this," Sayaka said as she looked around while maneuvering around her enemy's attacks. "I think I see something! One of the poles rising out is a different color, and it's twirling around… Maybe that's the eye!"

"Let's take it by surprise," Kyoko said as she separated herself from Sayaka and threw her chained spear towards the eye. It missed by a few inches, and as Kyoko prepared to pull in, a mass of cylindrical blocks broke off from the totems and flew down at her like she was in an avalanche. "Crap, maybe I really do need a shield," Kyoko thought to herself as she summoned jeweled walls and batted away projectiles awkwardly with her spear. "It looks like it's focusing on me!" Kyoko yelled to Sayaka. "You head in for the finisher!"

"Okay!" Sayaka complied as she ran towards the colored totem, the numbers of obstacles around her having decreased. However, just when it was within slashing range, an enormous block of stone shot out towards her and sent her flying into the air.

"Sayaka!" Kyoko yelled as she began to collapse under the bombardment she was facing. Not a good way to end things, she thought to herself.

"You two need more variety, really," a familiar voice called out as Sayaka slammed into one of the walls of the maze. Ignoring the pain, Sayaka stabbed her sword into the wall to stay afloat, but the giant slab of stone was going right towards her. If she let herself fall, on the other hand, she would be crushed.

"Now's the time for a fancy save," Sayaka muttered as a red wall of flame appeared between her and the enormous projectile. A few seconds later, the bricks stopped falling upon Kyoko, and the giant, spherical machine began to fold on itself. From Sayaka's observation, the red flames had created a portal that redirected the slab of stone right into one of the holes in the sphere. Apparently the unexpected internal combustion was enough to destroy the creature.

"You thought that the eye was the weak point?" Zusa asked as Sayaka and Kyoko landed on the ground. "That sort of tactic is too simple, don't you think?"

"Well, we are just brawlers," Sayaka said as the environment around her faded and she reverted to her casual clothes. "We don't have red portals or whirlpools."

"Don't be a fool in regards to May." Zusa leaned on her curved blade, still in her Puella Magi outfit. "And I'm not just saying that because you might need her next time."

"If we're such fools, why not just let us die?" Sayaka asked. "Why not make your own little party?"

"Her condition would worsen if the two of you were lost," Zusa said. "She needs you. It isn't the time to act solely out of honor. Lives are worth much more than pride." Sayaka turned away, frustrated.

"This fight felt different than the ones before," Kyoko said, looking up at the moving clouds. "And not just the power level, either… I feel that something's coming our way."

"You might be being set up by someone," Zusa said as she created a portal, apparently done with what she had said. "Don't fall for it." With that, the twintailed girl walked into the portal and disappeared to a place unknown.

"I'm tired of this," Sayaka said as she pulled out her still-blue Soul Gem. "People all around me are being smarter, more powerful and more meaningful than I am. I don't need any of that sort of crap. Maybe you'd disagree, but I'm going to stay who I am, Kyoko."

"Geez," Kyoko said, slightly worrying about the near future. "It's that stubbornness of yours that makes you an idiot, Sayaka. But it's also the thing that makes you lovable."

May was now bringing books whenever she met the other girls, and it seemed like she was tuning out on the conversation completely. When the five Puella Magi went out for dinner one weekend at a Chinese restaurant, May seemed more isolated than ever. While waiting for the dishes, she would just look at the tanks where the fish were kept live, as if trying to understand their pain. When her plate finally came, May was unable to eat more than a few bites, and could only look down at her food, an irrational guilt pressing upon her.

"I'll finish it up," Kyoko said as she took May's plate. "Are you going to be all right, May?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," May nodded. Even if she said that she wasn't, how much better would that make things? She had put off making a choice for long enough, and even now she didn't know what to do. As the five Puella Magi left the restaurant, May took her own path, umbrella-less as rain started to fall and wearing nothing but her shorts and thin jacket.

The raindrops in the water were nice and smooth, and May could definitely choose not to get wet if she wished to. But it didn't matter now. There was no point using magic for these everyday occurrences, and May felt guilt for having to share Homura's umbrella during those other times. May headed out into the dock and stood there for a bit, contemplating the destiny she was going to forge as the rain began to pour.

If she chose nothing and let her heart wade in its current position, her life would turn out to be something unfulfilling and miserable. May thought of her dad. As much as she respected him, she definitely didn't want to be like him. Having raised a child, and still in such obsession and misery… If that was so, there would only be two options for her.

The first was to approach Homura and make romantic moves, but Homura didn't have any feelings for her to begin with, and May probably couldn't woo any of the Puella Magi given such a complicated situation. It definitely wasn't enough to just be friends… Friends these days were so shallow anyways. May still felt as if she was kept at an arm's length from everybody else, despite her attempts to bring up deep and meaningful things in conversation. What's wrong with me? May thought. _Either I'll need to get extremely close, or I'll always feel alone…_

Then the only option left for May was to leave the city, maybe even the country, and find her own path. Perhaps she was just the type to have to live alone, as much as she didn't want to. Perhaps there were some things she really couldn't control after all. The feelings, the cravings in her heart were something she couldn't reach… Even if she could reach them, she wouldn't settle down and give up all she had worked for. If she was just going to fool around and twiddle her fingers, she might do it by herself instead of wasting other people's time.

That's right. No matter how logical and elegant May could present her thoughts, there was something in her heart that was beyond reason. The fact that her ideas were well-stated and logically consistent wouldn't counter the fact that she was lonely. The fact that revenge wouldn't make the world a better place didn't counter the fact that she was angry. It was inevitable, May thought as she dived into the cold, salty seawater. She wanted to hurt someone, to demolish something.

"Humans can see pain in almost every animal," May said as she stepped onto the dock, a squirming fish in her hands. "Whether or not the victim's emotions should be considered, that's outside of the question. But… Why do people, why are people one of the few animals that enjoys seeing other things in pain, when they know that pain itself is such a horrid experience?" May dropped the fish onto the deck, letting it writhe around pathetically in the rain. "Or maybe they're just like cats playing around with mice when they bully others, when they declare justice, when they declare revenge. They don't know any better. But I…" The tears started to flow down May's eyes, mixing about with the rain. "But I do. I know what a horrible thing I'm going to do. You want more water, huh, fishy?!" May wrapped a large slab of water around her right hand and began bashing at the fish violently, its bloody guts and organs spilling across the dock. "Why, why, why, why?!" May repeated to herself as all of the fluids on her face drenched together and fell over the fish's corpse, which was still being bat at. "Why, why, why, why?!"

After a few minutes or so, May stopped, dissolving the slab of water around her hand and falling to her knees mournfully. She would have to desensitize herself over and over again if she wanted to live alone. There were so many beings with feelings in the world, and she couldn't just keep thinking about them all, she couldn't just keep caring for them all. She would have to hate other people's ideas, hate other people's existences like a normal human being. Forget about psychology, May thought to herself. _Forget about accepting other's viewpoints and trying to see as they see…_ May collapsed onto her side, wrenched up in fetal position now and still crying. "I can't do it!" May desperately yelled. "I can't do it! I'm weak, I'm a coward…"

"You want to go get her?" Mami asked Homura as the two stood in the rain with their umbrellas, several meters away from the scrunched up May. "If you aren't, I'll be willing to help."

"You can have the night to yourself," Homura said. "I'll handle this." With that, the drill-haired girl left, and Homura approached May slowly. For a while, May just kept on sobbing as Homura held the umbrella over her, with nothing good she could say in her heart. She's being so nice, and yet I want more, more, more, May thought. Why do I want so much…?

"May," Homura said gently as she put a hand on the messy blackish-blue hair. "It's going to be all right." May just kept on crying and wrinkled herself up into an even smaller ball. From so far up close, Homura suddenly noticed how precious this person was to her – the rest of the world could think that May was worthless, but Homura would still care. Homura dropped her umbrella and grasped May's shoulders firmly before embracing her in a deep hug. May could only make a shocked expression as the warmth radiated through her body, the salty tears still flowing down her eyes. After a long while, Homura took May's hands and led her to her feet. "Come on," Homura said. "Let's get going."

May, who was still feeling unstable and not saying a word, leaned on Homura's shoulder for the entire way to the apartment. "You should probably take a shower," Homura said. May still had her wet clothes on for a while before working up the initiative to take them off and step into Homura's bathroom. As the hot water ran over May's body, feelings of unease started to rise in her heart again. Was this really for the better? How much trouble would she cause given all of the emotions and tensions between everyone?

A fresh pair of pajamas was waiting for May on the counter. The hazel-eyed girl put them on nervously after drying herself off with a towel. "Come on," Homura said as she headed over to May and took up the hair dryer. "We need to get your hair dried too." Homura dried May's hair as May stood in her place humbly, the warm winds of air kissing her face softly. After ten or so minutes, May's hair was dry and Homura walked over to the kitchen counter and brought out a mug of hot chocolate. "It's been a while since I made you one of these," Homura said as she handed the mug over to May, who had moved over to the couch. "Enjoy yourself here." May took a deep sip of the hot chocolate and finally spoke up.

"I love you, Homura."

"Y-Yeah, I know that," Homura said, a little embarrassed. It was hard to believe that May could say something so simple, but deep down, she had the same feelings every human being had. "Is there anything you need to talk about? Even the silly things, even the sexual things. I'll listen deeply this time."

"Not really…" May said lying down on the couch, the feeling of warmth in her heart protesting that it was all too brief. "You've done enough already, anyways…"

"You can sleep with me tonight," Homura said as she took May's hands. "Don't hold back on the hugging, either…" Homura really didn't know why she was saying this. It just seemed to be the best course of action in the situation, regardless of any feelings of embarrassment. After seeing May like that, she felt closer to her than ever.

"Lights out," Homura said as the room went dark. As she crawled into her bed with May, May readjusted her position to snuggle up with Homura tightly. From Homura's position, May really did look like a helpless child, which inevitably instilled within Homura feelings of compassion.

"I love you," May said, feeling peace in her heart for the first time in a long time. "Thanks so much. I'll definitely repay the favor somehow."

"It's fine," Homura said as she noticed how simple and pure May's shut-eyed smile was. She wasn't sure when she had decided it in the past two hours or so, but May's smile, May's soul was definitely something to protect. All of the wit, perceptiveness, and sensitivity in May was perhaps absolutely unnecessary and ridiculously abnormal, but Homura found it rather charming. Just by looking at the expression of May's face and feeling the warmth of her slender body, Homura felt that nothing destructive would ever come out of May's love.

* * *

"Ackeh!" May was coughing every few seconds she was awake, and when Homura touched May's forehead, it seemed she had a slight fever. "I guess that's what I get for going out in the rain, huh? Even Puella Magi get sick from time to time…"

"You can stay here until you get better," Homura said. "I know what's it's like to be sick and alone, and it's not a pleasant experience. You can walk, right?"

May pushed the blankets off of her body and tried walking around on the floor. "My head's pretty dizzy, and my body feels weird without the blankets… Cough. It doesn't really hurt though, so I'll try to stay up as much as possible. I do sort of zone out when I'm sick, though."

"Don't exert yourself," Homura said as she went into the kitchen with May's frail footsteps following her. After a few seconds of munching on flavored bread from the bakery, Homura spoke up with a tinge of worry in her voice. "Will you go crazy like that again?"

"I can't make any promises…" May said. "Sorry – Cough! Agh." May put a palm to her forehead and looked down at the table thoughtfully. "It really sucks to say thanks and sorry so much. I want to be there for you too, Homura. But that seems sort of selfish at the same time, because I guess you'd rather not go crazy…"

"I'm sure there'll be a time when you're important," Homura said. "Outside of battle, that is. You really are a wonderful character, and I think you can do a lot with your life. You'd be a lot more interesting than me if we didn't have magic to compare ourselves with."

"Cough… Are you fine with this?" May asked as she shyly met Homura's gaze. "I mean, that we're this close… You aren't afraid of my past, or breaking some sort of loyalty to Madoka?"

"Well, I don't think Madoka would be the type of person to disregard a suffering girl like you just so the relationships between everybody stay the same. I guess it's hard, and people need help with it," Homura said as she took a small bite of her bread and swallowed it. "Relationships thrive on change."

"At this point, I feel like I'll be wanting to sleep with you every night now…" May reflected on that basic human urge for physical contact as consciousness was lost. "I'm not sure we can go back to the way things were anymore, and I'd hate it if we did."

"I'll buy a futon or something," Homura said. "You can sleep next to me in case something happens, but I'm not sure about your constant hugging every night. I guess you can live with me too. And as I said before… Talk a lot more to me, okay? I'll be there to listen, and I guess I have some of my own… Stories to share."

"Even if we don't understand each other, even if we can't do anything about it, we'll still talk and listen, huh?" May said as she finished off the last of her bread. "Okay. That's something I think most people don't do, unless they're feigning interest to follow some social tact or make small talk. Promise me you won't do that, okay? It may seem like I'm good at observing people, but when it comes to my ego, I might get the wrong ideas."

"Perhaps you should've kept the name Narcissa after all," Homura said with a smile as she gently brushed May's hair. "I guess I'll go out and buy that futon, huh?" Homura got up and prepared to leave the apartment when she found May trailing her. "You should probably stay in bed. It's spring and all, but it's still rather cold out." Upon hearing those words, May's face gave way to an expression of a sorrowful puppy's. "Hey, I'll be back soon, okay?" Homura leaned in and kissed May's forehead, causing the hazel-eyed girl to blush.

"Go to my apartment and fish out my money on the way, okay?" May asked. "I'd hate to have you pay it all by yourself."

"All right," Homura said as she left the room, and within a few seconds, May collapsed on the bed, hugging and sniffing the blankets laden with Homura's sweet scent. Daddy's feelings are reaching into my heart again, May thought as the strings in her heart quivered romantically. May knew that this romantic desire was so strong and definitely couldn't be changed, just like her analytical, curious, and playful attitude, but how much of her father's dreams would she live out and follow? May thought of how nice and gentle Homura felt last night when she was squeezed, and all of the images and ideals she had in her mind.

Even if he tucks himself under or rearranges his position, a male lover with average physique will inevitably have a significant height advantage on the female one given average physiques, May thought. And when you're taller than someone you're cuddling up with, that leads to a certain array of thoughts and feelings towards the person. To be taller and to curl up in a smaller person's arms would probably lead to some awkwardness. But Homura was about May's height, and May felt even smaller last night when she curled up in Homura's arms. Maybe she had those lover's feelings in her heart, but last night, a different feeling was developing. Perhaps she didn't need to be stuck in the lover's paradox. Maybe Homura was something else to her…

A short while later, Homura came back with the futon, and May, shy as ever, asked Homura if she could get her dominoes from the other room. The two girls sat down playing with dominoes for a while, and Homura noticed a change in the way May stacked them. It was no longer arbitrary and rushed; May took precision and put each domino down on floor gently. "You know, when I was little, I never wanted to knock the dominoes down after the first few times I played with them," May said. "I'd just stack and rearrange, stack and rearrange… And then I guess I outgrew that phase and started creating them for the sole purpose of knocking them down. To think I'm revisiting that stage in my childhood again…"

"That's a lot of dominoes, though," Homura said as she got to her feet, observing how much space May's design took up. "Your dad never told you to clean them up, or whatever?"

"He'd always carefully step around them, even in the halls," May said with a fond smile. "Sometimes I'd arrange them to purposefully make him dance." The dominoes were left in their position as May and Homura reminisced about their pasts on the bed. "Apparently, I didn't really cry much when I was a baby," May said. "I'd just look at new things with curious eyes… Although of course I cried when I was in pain, I guess. And then I cried a bunch later on in childhood. I didn't like when things went wrong, when things didn't make sense, when I was alone with no hint of how to find things out. I remember when my dad brought me to a tennis court and how he went easy on me… I could see he went easy, too, as he was just sort of casually jogging and holding out the racket, and I still lost. I cried because of how unfair it was, and then my dad said something like this: 'In the future, you'll be much taller and stronger, and I'll hardly be able to swing my arms and move my legs. You can have your revenge on me then.' I guess that day hasn't come yet, but I'm not sure if I want it to. I just want an even match."

"Hmm," Homura said with a comfortable smile. "Back when I still had braids and glasses, in one of the time loops, Madoka said something about how I should actually use my golf club to play golf. I was pretty surprised at how far I hit the golf balls, although they went way off course. Madoka made small chips, but they were accurate. Mami beat the two of us pretty easily. Although it was kind of different with bowling. I'd drop the ball from like ankle level, because swinging it low felt so awkward. To really think of how smooth and elegant I seem now… I wonder why I still feel nostalgic when I remember how clumsy I was."

"It's cute," May said. "Adorable. I know we have to act all serious when it comes to battles, but I don't think we should struggle so hard to grow up. That's sort of philosophy's appeal I guess, you're unlimited in the amount of pointless wordplay and ideas you can generate. Although perhaps actually letting your body run free as well as your mind might be better…" May paused and reflected upon all of the shared feelings within her heart. The conversation suddenly came out so naturally to May, and she wondered how much faking her dad would have had to do to say something like this. He was definitely the type to just sort of share intimate contact without exchanging words… "On another note, I think that most people focus too much on ends and results, and say that the pain is just a trade-off. When people think of why evil exists in this world, they'll jump through hoops and go through convoluted explanations to reason why it does. There's a saying like 'it may not seem beneficial to us, but looking at the grand scale of things…' I think that's a lousy explanation. I think that instead of all of those twists and turns, I'd rather just stare deeply as to why something exists and try to appreciate its existence. I'd rather not look at all the external factors and cause and effect, but the motives and feelings behind everything. But I guess my curiosity regarding human experience goes against my spiritual tendency to not want to hurt people."

"You sure have trouble participating in normal conversation, though," Homura said.

"That's because it distracts from a whole lot of other things…" May began. "Sorry. Do you want to talk about something else?"

"No, it's fine," Homura said with thoughtful look on her face. "I think it's good… Sometimes, to try and know what someone else is feeling, or to wonder into all the thoughts that are available… But if you do it too much, you'll really drive yourself insane, you know? You're likeable and valuable as it is, and you don't always have to try and mind-read to make up for anything. I guess that's one of the reasons I loved Madoka, because she was so compassionate to everyone, and not just because she saved me. Sure, I got jealous sometimes, but… If all of the people like her that I end up meeting ascend up into the universe and become some sort of concept-god, I'll be left by myself. I really don't want that."

"So my curiosity, you would say, is different from that of an obsessive mad scientist's?" May asked.

"You wonder about thoughts," Homura said. "Subjective thoughts and feelings. Maybe the words come out of your mouth and people don't know what to do with them, but I see something there in your heart that's beyond words. I'm not too sure if other people see it, though."

May looked up at the clock. "It's actually getting pretty late. Do you mind that I took up your afternoon?"

"Not at all," Homura said. "I'll go make dinner." May started to follow Homura, but Homura stopped May in her tracks. "No worrying about the corpses of other animals, okay? I'll prepare it."

"…Right," May said as she looked down quietly at the ground.

* * *

"So are you sure May's all right?" Kyoko asked as she was sitting in the café with Sayaka and Mami. "She looked pretty bad yesterday…"

"I think Homura will give her just what she needs," Mami said. "They seem to understand each other the best, after all."

"I don't know, she might end up torturing May for amusement…" Sayaka said, and Kyoko flashed Sayaka an annoyed look. "What? I was just joking."

"Yo," Zusa said as she appeared on the side and butted in next to Mami. Apparently she didn't use a portal, but her arrival was sudden as ever.

"Why are you here?" Sayaka asked. "Are you May and Homura's replacement?"

"Just came to give some advice," Zusa said as she sipped her pearl milk tea. "You're feeling pretty lame, huh, Sayaka?"

Sayaka looked out the window, annoyed. "It's not like my Soul Gem will die and I'll disappear anytime soon. What do you expect to do?"

"Nothing much," Zusa said. "Just thought I'd share with you some scenes from May's original world. Pardon me, but most people seem to be interested in the way their story would be written if it was portrayed as fiction."

"Why would I care about that?" Sayaka asked. "Stories are stories, and reality is reality – hey!" Before Sayaka could lash out, Zusa had thrust her body forwards and pressed her forehead against Sayaka's. The two stayed like that for a few seconds before Zusa brushed off with a playful smile. Sayaka rubbed her forehead, feeling kind of dizzy and recalling the images that were passed on to her head. "What the hell? The people in that world are so… Chunky, and the girls have such small eyes. I guess I can sort of understand why it was populated by so much otaku scum. But in any case, I dislike how they portrayed me. I'm just some sort of sob story or a lame support to advance plot."

"Now do you realize why you've been feeling so lame?" Zusa asked. "As someone that wants to be a hero, you also want the traditional model of a hero's journey, don't you? But with the way you got resurrected and the lack of flow in the obstacles after it happened, you feel that your story was somewhat poorly written. Deep down you still want to be a hero, don't you?"

"Whatever," Sayaka said, leaning back. "I could become one of those unimportant flat characters for all I care."

"That's also a traditional setup in a story," Zusa said. "The protagonist is supposed to stumble upon some sort of important revelation through their journey, and end up as a different person when things get resolved. Aside from your surroundings, you haven't changed much from the time you weren't a Puella Magi, or have you?"

"Perhaps you're somewhat right," Sayaka admitted. "But I'm not that stupid to get myself into deep trouble just because someone offers me a challenge. How should I say this…? I like where I am now, but I want to feel as if I've earned it."

"But throughout all that time, you'd still remain a flat character, right?" Zusa asked. "Reality doesn't end when it's convenient to. Most people don't want to die some sort of grandiose, noble death, so they find it odd when they think they're at peace with themselves and then things suddenly change for them. Reality is like a never-ending story. Arguably, you can live the same way for fifty years, but perhaps that'd be the same as being dead for those entire fifty years."

"I'm tired of this stuff," Sayaka said. "Did you get this all from May? Your point is for me to be nicer to her, right?"

Zusa shrugged. "You'll oftentimes have to excuse reality for writing bad stories. Some people don't really have an ultimate plan. With that said, I'm sorry I interrupted whatever conversation you were having." Zusa left the other three Puella Magi with those words and walked out of the café, her drink still in her hand.

"…It may be hard to approach May, but I do think we have to communicate better," Kyoko said after a short silence. "I respect you for trying to protect us, Sayaka, but I really don't think May contains any sort of infectious disease or something of that sort. She has no real reason to try and hurt us, and even if she thinks differently, you can clearly see that she's still human like us."

Sayaka put a hand on her cheek. "What am I supposed to say? 'I'm sorry, let's be friends again'? Everything seems to be fake to her unless it's filled with some sort of intellectual riddle."

"Not necessarily," Mami said. "You could tell, couldn't you? Earlier on, she really enjoyed our company. And I think that there's a part of you that wants to be friends with her too, Sayaka."

"Mm… Perhaps," Sayaka said, leaning back and shrugging. "Maybe I really am thinking that people don't change. May's personality seems so strong that I'd probably jump out of my skin if she suddenly acted in a likable manner. And sorry, but I'm not the type to make huge adjustments to accept who she is, and I'm sure you don't want to be like that, either."

Kyoko sighed. "May's a lot different from the rest of us, I'll give that. But there's a compromise, isn't there? I don't want to go to the point where one of us dies before we can realize how important we really are to each other. You can still see her as a rival, I mean, just not as a rival you want to completely see dead…"

"I don't know," Sayaka said as she looked down at the table thoughtfully. "I've never really experienced bringing true justice, I think, so I don't know how satisfying it is. But May would call that desire revenge… I guess it must be sort of like it was when I made my contract with Kyubey. I can't just do something and hope the obstacles are out of my life forever. And to be honest, it feels weird without May and Homura here. Even people that don't interact tend to have a presence."

"See, Sayaka, you aren't such an airheaded girl after all," Kyoko said.

"Right…" Sayaka said, still turning over the thoughts in her head. "Right. I guess hunting down demons wasn't good enough for me. Deep down, I want to beat someone that I think is wrong, but human at the same time. I want to defeat someone that made the wrong choices in life, and disregard what happens to them afterwards. I thought I had matured a lot since I was resurrected, but there's still a long way to go for me, isn't there?" Sayaka looked up at the ceiling lights. Perhaps May was right to a degree. She should use her brain more often.

* * *

"This is delicious, Homura," May said after she swallowed a spoonful of soup. Homura blushed upon hearing the compliment. The two girls already knew that this relationship had gone way beyond a friendship. Really, Homura thought. It was still a bit too early for her to take on some sort of mother-like figure.

"It's just a simple recipe," Homura said. "But I'm glad you like it." With only the two girls in the scene, a deeper, much more personal happiness seemed to come forth out of May's heart.

"Do you know?" May asked. "My last name, Sakemura, is my mother's maiden name. I'm not sure about all the implications of why I didn't share my father's last name, but I guess there's a lot of possible reasons… Sorry, just saying a random fact."

"I don't really know why I'm named Homura," Homura said. "I think May's a nice name, though. The fifth month of the year doesn't seem to be anything special, but it's also the word that implies something's permissible, isn't it? Well… I'm not sure where I'm going with this either."

"Sorry to bring this up at the dinner table," May said as she stared blankly into space for a while. "But it's funny how word and sentence structure works within the subconscious, which supposedly regulates desires. 'Children' gives off a feeling of a playful nature to most people that adore youth… 'Loli' or 'Lolita' creates a feeling of subtle happiness almost, since the internet acronym 'lol' means 'laughing out loud'. 'Sex', to anyone who's dreamed of it, gives off more conflicted feelings. 'With', when regarding to people, creates a feeling of togetherness, as if you're sharing something… However, when you say 'I would have sex with children', or 'I want to have sex with lolis' that's a pretty socially unacceptable statement, even when you tie in three positives and one neutral. It'd even be four positives and one neutral if you add someone the listener cares about. It's really interesting how socially condemned talk about sex is. In comparison with other natural behaviors, going to the bathroom is seen as a dislikable activity and thus usually disregarded, but sex, which is neutral, is seen as even more informal, while food, which is enjoyable, is talked about often."

"It's just social convention," Homura said. "You really don't have to always go beyond that and try to make everything logical."

"The most vulgar of supposed swear words in English describes the act of having sex, too," May said. "I don't know, sex sort of ties everything together. People may not just want to admit they're human… On another note, if I'm correct, the legal age of consent is lower in this country. Perhaps it's more of a power thing, as people in the United States usually stay cooped up under their parents until they're 18. Or perhaps it's that adults don't see children as people, as they can't have sex and can't make their own decisions. Well, they learn one way or another, don't they?"

"Most of the time, learning doesn't involve being a Puella Magi," Homura said.

"I still don't get it," May said. "The term pedophile is used to describe people that are attracted to younger people. No mental damage is really implied by that description. The whole aversion to sex and seeing it as a corrupting influence seems to arise out of an irrational sense of shame… Ah, I'm not implying anything between us." May blushed.

"It's fine if you were," Homura looked away. "What's with the way you speak, anyways? There's no tact at all. Does pedophilia exist because people never grow up?"

May crossed her arms with a surprised glance. "I don't know, if I ruffle my memory banks, my father did develop a lot in high school, that is, mentally. But I wonder how the greatest inventions and discoveries were made… They certainly didn't seem like anything that was meticulously planned, and a lot of the times people were perhaps just curious and playing around. I'm not sure if those great inventors or scientists really expected their work to benefit humanity on a large scale, or make money or anything. The plane and the car maybe just started as fun toys. When you tie that in with Puella Magi, it seems like most of the advances in humanity have came from minds of airheaded children. Of course, oftentimes that leads to drastic results."

"Are you finished?" Homura asked as she collected the bowls. May nodded, and with that sign, Homura reached for May's forehead. "You seem like you're getting better already, although I do feel a slight fever. Will you come to school tomorrow? The others are probably reasonably worried about you."

"I still feel a little unwell," May admitted. "Plus, I might get other people sick, right?"

"I guess," Homura said. "What would you like to do for the night?"

The two girls spent most of the evening talking about random things, and May's bright attitude continued to reemerge. "Do you ever think the whole world around you seems sort of lame?" May asked.

"Sometimes," Homura shrugged. "But I guess other people have their own problems, even if they aren't magical."

"Well, that's the whole thing," May said. "People are sort of ashamed to have problems… Oftentimes, even liking something too much seems to be a problem. It's like this way in individualist as well as collectivist cultures, I mean. Even when you complain, you have to complain together. To act 'mature' seems to be to act as if everything only interests you to a socially acceptable extent, and that's sort of uncomfortable given how everyone is different. It's weird for someone growing up then, to be unable to say 'no, I don't want it' more and more often, and to be given to the response 'but everybody does it' as the best argument. Children… are really whiny, and a trouble to coexist with, if you see them out in public. But I think that deep down in everybody there's this part of people that just likes to have fun with others, that accepts everybody, that never wants to hurt anybody else. Perhaps that's what 'purity' is. But then when someone goes and seeks those younger, purer minds – bang! Pedophile. And then people go and have children without knowing why."

"To be honest, I'm not sure it's that way," Homura said. "It's been bothering me for a while, but what you're usually talking about usually seems to relate to your father. I know you share part of his mind, but don't you think it's time for you to forge your own path? You became a Puella Magi and parted from humanity, you know. I'll help you with it, you know."

May looked away. "I still… Feel that it's too early for me to stop carrying out my wish half-way. Hey, Homura… You don't believe that men are inferior or impure or anything, do you?"

"Where's this coming from?" Homura asked, slightly confused. "I don't think I've ever acted as if they were."

"Nothing, it's just that recorded history has a prevalent experience of misogyny and patriarchy…" May said. "You don't think that it's because of nature or anything?"

"I think I focus less on what people deserve, and more of what makes them happy," Homura said. "So far, it doesn't seem like I'm attracted to guys, that's all."

"The differences can be awkward," May said. "But you don't think it would feel good to rest on a firm, broad chest and tuck your head under someone's chin, do you?"

"I don't know." Homura shrugged and turned to the clock. "I think it's about time we head to sleep." As Homura flicked off the lights and crawled under her blankets, weird thoughts began to buzz about in her head. May really was such a complex character that she arguably created the same amount of trouble Kyubey and magical contracts did. However, May didn't really want to exploit anybody, and certainly, she wouldn't try and kill anyone. If on the other hand, the real world became a mundane place, Homura wasn't sure if she would be able to keep sane given the vibrant contrasts between the magical and non-magical world.

An odd dream came forth from Homura's unconscious. The people and events in it were much clearer than those of the ones before. A somewhat younger version May was swinging back and forth on a set of swings with that same curious, thoughtful expression in her eyes. However, her style of clothes seemed to be a lot different than that of the current May's. This May was wearing a simple and light one-piece blue dress with the same circular hat that was seen in her Puella Magi outfit, and it looked surprisingly good on her.

"May," a voice spoke out of the dream's point of view. Homura recognized it as her own. "Do you want to get going now, or stay there?"

"Hmm…" May said as she kept on swinging, still mostly stuck in her own world. "Let's go." With that, May jumped off of the swing at its forward apex, and landed awkwardly on the matted ground.

"Don't do that," Homura heard herself saying. "You might hurt yourself." This May's shortness was clarified as the camera came closer to her body. Something was seriously unusual here.

"True, but in many other cultures this was part of growing up," May said. This was definitely May, though, Homura thought. "…On another note, it's nice to go out on a bang, right? Imagine that swing was a rope you were using to avoid a trap, or chasing down someone important. You wouldn't just slowly ease out and land on your feet if it was that, would you?"

So young and already so precocious, Homura thought as she felt her "self" in the dream smile. "Come on. Let's go see your dad."

"Hey, can we go buy a new costume for Halloween?" May asked as she followed under the camera's side. "I'm tired of always being the evil witch or the white knight."

"I'm pretty sure they don't sell the costume you're thinking of," Homura heard herself saying. The camera panned over to a man that looked in his early thirties reading a relatively thick book. He had moderate-length, lumpy black hair, and even though the face seemed to be blurred, Homura felt that it shared many similar features with May's. This face and my mind, Homura thought. It was definitely censored for a reason.

"Oh hey," the man asked as he looked up from his book with a smile. "Done with the swings already?"

"Do you really expect me to be entertained that easily?" May asked. "I want to spend time with you, Daddy."

May's father got up and put the book in his bag. "Were you thinking of the playground obstacle course? Because I'd have an unfair advantage, and you don't like handicaps or me going easy on you."

"I don't like it when my dad's lazy, either," May said. "When you're done reading that book, I'll finish it in a week and have a philosophical debate with you, and win. Right now, though, let's get some ice cream."

"You always buy the really expensive ones," Homura heard herself saying. "Can't we just go home and have ice water?"

"If we do that, we'll have to play Risk tonight," May said. "And I know you don't like playing Risk, mom." Homura's 'real' self shuddered awkwardly upon hearing those words.

"That's because you two always team up on me," the dream Homura said. "Don't you think it's unfair enough as it is?"

"I'm not even good at board games, dear," May's father said. "Perhaps May's just read too many Greek tragedies along with a smattering of neo-Freudians who supported the Electra complex… What?" Homura's dream self seemed to make made an unpleasant expression. "It's still better to leave her genius uncensored, right? May's still a sweet girl despite it, and this way we don't have to condescend when communicating with her." A slightly uncomfortable silence passed between the three.

"I'll help you win tonight, mom," May said as she broke the silence with a pure-hearted smile. "Come on now, let's go all get some ice cream."

"Cough, cough!" The sharp sound of the real May coughing woke up Homura from her extremely strange dream. Homura sat up in a daze for a while before turning to the coughing May, apparently still infected with the cold. May had tossed off her blankets, and her messy blackish-blue hair was rubbing all over her face.

"Ah…" Homura took May's blankets and covered the coughing girl with them, and upon such an action, May woke up in a daze. A short silence passed between the two girls, only to be interrupted by May's coughing. May as my daughter… Homura thought, but then shook off the oddities in her mind. "Are you all right? I still have some soup in the fridge if you want some."

May sniffed up some overflowing mucus before replying. "Ah, yes please." Homura walked over to the counter and got May some tissues, and then brought out some soup to microwave. As the bowl rotated evenly within the rectangular machine, Homura tapped her foot, still confused as what to make of the dream. That definitely can't be my future life, being a Puella Magi and all, Homura thought. But what if she wasn't? What if she could somehow put all of these miracles behind her and live this sort of human life? Would that be so bad?

"Thanks," May said with a smile upon taking the bowl of soup and slurping it. "You've done such a good job of taking care of me, Homura." Homura couldn't help but avoid May's line of sight as she said those appreciative words. "What? Did you have a strange dream?"

"Ah…" Homura said, looking into May's hazel eyes. "Sort of, you could say."

"Hey…" May said, looking down at the blankets with a smile. "Don't put too much work into thinking you're my mom." Homura leaked a considerable amount of surprise upon hearing those words. "I mean, that would make things really, really awkward between us. You're still a middle school student, you know."

Homura laughed dryly. "In the world of magic and philosophical contemplation, there's no such thing as 'too young', is there?"

"Do you want to marry my dad and have me as your daughter?" May asked bluntly.

"Not really," Homura said, and upon a teasing glance from May she followed up with "No. Did you ever want a mom when you were little?"

"…A little," May said, now on the defensive side. "I'd just see those sorts of families in the media, and I was pretty sure with the sorts of conversations that my dad held that he probably wanted a wife, too. But I guess unless he meets the right person, he's doomed to be a kid forever, at least in his mind."

Homura didn't know what to say as she sat down next to May and watched her eat her soup. "This is all so ridiculous," Homura finally said. "Magic is one thing, but all of these little circumstances and ideas coming together is another."

"I don't know," May said. "Whether I'm in a love-hate relationship with ridiculousness or whatever, I'm pretty damn attached to it." May finished the last drops of her soup and stared at the empty bowl awkwardly. Feeling compelled by whatever reason, the hazel-eyed girl was about to get up from her bed when Homura stopped her.

"I'll get it," Homura said as she took the bowl and went into the kitchen. "So, have you decided what to do now?" Homura asked as she returned to the bed. May was lying down, head propped up against the pillow and staring at the ceiling. "Being a Puella Magi and a daughter and probably a girl genius…"

"I can't really decide," May admitted with a soft cough, lowering the mood in the room a little. "But I think it's a lot better now, now that you're here… Now that we're here for each other, I mean. It really sucks to be alone. It sucks so much that for some reason, suffering becomes a lot more bearable if you share it with someone."

"All right," Homura said as she lay down across from May on her own bed. "Make a decision soon though, okay?"

"Okay," May said as she turned over in bed.

* * *

"Is May all right?" Kyoko asked to Homura during break Monday.

Homura looked back with a soft expression. "She's fine. She just caught a little cold, is all. She was in a pretty bad state Saturday, but we talked about a lot of things, and it seems like she won't be falling into that sort of depression for a good while."

"That's good to hear," Kyoko said, a burden lifted from her heart. "I'm relieved."

"How are you going to handle her now, though?" Sayaka asked. "What if she starts to make moves on you, or something of the sort?"

"I honestly don't know," Homura said as she brushed away one of her bangs. "I think it's pretty complicated as it is. We just sort of have to accept her feelings, and she'll probably be able to accept ours."

"Well, don't do anything drastic with her," Sayaka said, a little embarrassed. "I still have to apologize to her…"

"She's not mad at you," Homura said. "She pushes everything inwards…"

"That's how an apology should work, anyways," Kyoko said. "Will she be here tomorrow? Or should we come visit her?"

Homura recalled what happened the day before, along with her extremely strange dream. "I think I've dealt with her enough. Just be there as friends when she comes back to school again." After the two-girl couple left, Homura looked at the odd sketch in her notebook. May's father… The body was lean and skinny, but besides that, not much different from an average male's, so Homura had gotten that down pretty easily. The face… Homura drew May's face, and then erased it, replacing it with a generic male anime face. No, she thought, erasing the face yet again. She was so close and yet so far… Ah, perhaps this was something she didn't really have to worry about anyways.

"I'm home," Homura said as she opened her apartment door and headed off to the bathroom without much of a second thought. May was perhaps hiding somewhere and waiting to surprise her, or something… Homura let the thoughts in her mind dissolve away, just wanting to rest in solitude for a while. Upon opening the bathroom door, Homura saw May sitting in the bathtub. The two girls both snapped out of their dazed expressions, staring at each other for a good few seconds. "…Sorry," Homura said before closing the door and walking to her bed. The sight of May's adorable pubescent body blurred by the water still rang in Homura's head as she looked up at her ceiling blankly, wondering what Madoka would make out of all of this.

"Wait," Homura said to herself as she got up from the bed. She had taken out the towels to wash them yesterday, and May had just gone into the bathtub thoughtlessly… Homura went into the bathroom closet and reached around for the spare towels, and when she turned to place one on the counter, May opened the bathroom door, stark naked. "You forgot…"

"The towels…" May said. "Sorry. Didn't want to bother you." May took the towel and started drying herself up, and Homura began to move away when May stopped her. "Wait, shouldn't you take this moment to erase all suspicions from your mind?" May bundled the towel in one hand to uncover the rest of her body. "I'm not a boy in disguise. There's nothing between my legs. Want to touch it to make sure?"

"Just dry yourself off, please," Homura said, palm applied to her forehead. "It was my bad for creating the miscommunication."

"Or you can go for my breasts," May said. "I don't have much, but my chest has grown out a bit in the past few years." Homura didn't say anything as she went back to the bed to wait. Crap, she thought. _May really did have a nice body, along with a cute smile and an interesting personality… But this is just strange_, Homura thought to herself. Really, how does a Puella Magi's mind work when it comes to this situation?

"Thanks for waiting," May said as she came out of the bathroom, clad in a T-shirt and shorts. "It really sucks to have someone use the bathroom you wanted, right?"

"…Don't mention it," Homura said, reminded again of her attachment to privacy. Sure, it got boring every once in a while, but to always have to deal with someone else in the room… Homura sighed as she closed the bathroom door and sat on the toilet. There seemed to only be two choices, to live alone or with someone else, and neither of them lacked grievances. But if it was with Madoka, however… No, Homura shook her head. She didn't want to treat May like a lower priority person.

When Homura came out of the bathroom, May was fiddling with her dominoes nervously, as if she was anxious to do something. Homura didn't ask May what she wanted and merely went down to her desk and started her homework. After fifteen minutes or so, May got up from her position and walked towards Homura, putting an awkward hand on the purple-eyed girl's shoulder. "I've made my decision." Homura blinked as she looked up into May's hazel eyes, confused for a moment. "…I want to be in a relationship with you, Homura." Hearing those words from May just felt so… problematic. It wasn't as if May was being insincere, but seeing all these different sides of her really distorted any single perception of who she was. "I think… It's the best course of action I can take," May said as she suddenly swept Homura off of her seat like a mother carrying her daughter. Homura remained in her position for a while, still stunned as May carried her over to the bed, entranced in those bright, golden eyes of hers. "Acting on my feelings instead of being wishy-washy… That's how it should be like, right?"

"May…" Homura was about to say, but she was cut off as May leaned forwards for an attempt at her first kiss. Their lips brushed together gently, and a feeling of sweetness and softness filled the air, but Homura felt another feeling in the back of her mind, and started to push May away gently. "May, I'm not sure if I'm ready for…"

"Haven't you done this before?" May asked. "In all of those time loops, in all of those cherished memories, or maybe just delusions and fantasies, haven't you shared this sort of bond? And besides…" May put a hand over her chest. "We're two girls, bound by our own personal beliefs and an environment full of magic. When it comes to risks, there aren't really any. I'm… I'm jealous," May said as she started to take off Homura's uniform.

"May, you can't…" Homura pushed May away a little rougher now as her blouse started to become unbuttoned. "I'm not sure if this is…"

"Do you think it's shallow?" May asked, her eyes still fixated on Homura's expression. "To want to be pressed up against someone with nothing in between, to embrace the natural and biological instincts that surge within us all, to feel… Completely and utterly attached to them?" May paused for a bit. Homura's blouse was fully opened and her bra was exposed.

"I… I can't see you that way," Homura said, unsure of where she was going. "I don't think I'd ever… I don't think it's meant to be like this, I'm not sure if I'd like it, I mean, you're something else to me…" Upon hearing those words, a surge of anger and sorrow rose within May's chest. In line with her character, May acted on the latter, and pulled away from Homura, stepping off the bed and falling to her knees on the floor dejectedly. A short silence passed, and May decided to take the initiative to speak.

"That…. That was stupid, wasn't it?" May asked. "I almost hurt you there… I mean, so I guess it's still this way between us…" May shook her head, unable to see herself as something other than a coward or a scoundrel. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so open in these terms, I mean, I should respect your privacy more…"

"…May," Homura said as she got off the bed, her blouse still unbuttoned. "I think… You can't be attached to me like that, that's right." Homura sat down on her knees behind May and waited for a bit. "But you are more than just a friend to me, I mean, it's hard to describe… Have you ever wanted a sibling?"

May's face betrayed a hidden feeling of surprise. "Kind of… Maybe. I really didn't have many people other than my dad to confide in, so I guess I did. But I always felt that would disrupt anything, as well…"

"Well then," Homura said as she embraced May from behind, closing her eyes and resting her chin on May's shoulder. "From now on, we can be sisters then, can't we?"

May let out a dry laugh, still held tightly by Homura. "Extremely close sisters who don't grow up, I assume. I'm guessing you're taking the older role?"

"Isn't that obvious?" Homura asked as she took May's shoulders and turned her around. Homura looked into May's eyes, and started to feel that this could work. "Are you fine with that?"

"…Yes," May said after a short hesitation. "Yes, thank you. Can I call you Homura-onee-chan?"

Homura blushed slightly upon hearing the name. "Say it all you want. You're still going to be May to me, though."

"That's fine," May said. "Sorry I did something so rash. But I mean, at least in my psyche, and my dad's psyche… It's more than just simple sexuality, you know. Perhaps the reason for all these deviations and fetishes is because everything else seems fake and relatively temporary. I know most people don't like the concept of having sex with children, but seeing those puppy-dog eyes and taking in all those true and honest feelings just means much more than just grabbing a body and tossing it to the side, right? And then sometimes there just has to be desensitization… Even then, my dad was usually uncomfortable actually doing those things in real life, although I guess my mom had a young body that time so he was more able to… Ah. Sorry I brought it up."

"Don't be," Homura said. "I'll be there to listen. Maybe…" Homura brushed away one of May's messy bangs. "Maybe your strangeness goes really far beyond what people usually consider strange, but I think it's all right. Most people just consider rational, natural thoughts like sadistic desires or hyper-sexual desires to be shameful, but with your mind… It's something else. It's different rather than disturbing. But I guess disturbing things are much easier to share."

"Even then," May said. "Most people induce positive or negative correlations with things instead of wanting to psychoanalyze it and see both sides. Are you really fine with this, I mean? I might really drive you crazy or something."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take," Homura said, and added to herself silently, "If Madoka would do it, so would I."

* * *

The following Tuesday, the three other Puella Magi came face to face with a significantly changed May Sakemura. Although May still had those familiar traits of drawing in her notebook and staring into space daydreaming, one could sense that she was happier and more pleasant. "Sorry for ignoring you so much recently," Sayaka said during break.

"Thanks for the apology, Sayaka," May said with an almost ordinary smile. "I don't really hold any hard feelings though, and just hope that we can have plenty of enjoyable interactions in the future." Sayaka looked at May with a strangely relieved smile. This was a different May all right, but it was still May.

"Oh yeah, and we were all wondering," Sayaka continued. "Did Homura take good care of you? Or perhaps she slipped some drugs into your food?"

"Did you know, Sayaka, that the body produces plenty of 'natural' drugs through the brain that arguably are powerful enough to significantly impair judgment during almost mundane tasks?" May asked. "In any case, though, Homura makes some really good soup, or maybe it just felt that way because I was sick. Perhaps we should have a hotpot next time, huh?"

"Speaking of that…" Kyoko said, trying to be polite. "How are things with her? You did sort of admit your true feelings to all of us, right?"

"Well, I sort of stripped her and almost forced myself upon her yesterday," May said. "But it appears I wasn't stupid enough to go all the way then. In any case, ever since yesterday, I guess I'm her little sister now."

"Weird," Sayaka said, but after a short silence, shrugged. "But I guess that's May for us."

Slowly but surely, it seemed like May started to be able to handle casual conversations to a degree. She would still butt in with a plethora of additional and somewhat irrelevant facts, but that was preferable to her either leading a near one-sided conversation or dismissing mundane things as efficiently as possible. May didn't like to talk about objects or other people, but her interests somewhat turned to the field of cooking. "Sometimes good food is an excuse to be hungry," May recalled herself saying. "And I guess sometimes being hungry is an excuse to eat good food."

May's aberrant trains of thought were also clearly evident when the discussion came around to homework. However, the hazel-eyed girl seemed to find other ways to express her opinions. "Always imagine gestures and sound effects. Division – kkch!" May made a slitting throat motion with her hand. "Always convert to Arabic numerals. Three is a smile. Four is a door. Five is a mocking smile. Six is a gaping mouth…"

Homura found May helpful around the house, as well. Even with May's supposed deep feelings, she was able to respect and create the walls of personal bubbles of comfort. Of course, however, there were going to be times in the somber of night where May and Homura would find themselves pressed against each other tightly. But even with the same nightmares and ignorance, May found herself more comfortable than she had been before. Getting along with other people made the world a better, if not happier, place.

"Wow, May's losing," Sayaka said one Saturday as she was doing a 1v1 in Guilty Gear against May. Apparently May had found some strange emulator that was able to be hooked up to the bigger-screen TV and connected to the old console controls. "Hey, hey, are you sure you're not going easy? You do combos on almost every other character you play pretty easily, but you're just sort of whacking me awkwardly with your sword here."

"This is honestly the way I like to play Johnny," May said. "He's a lot cooler this way, isn't he? I bet you wish you fought like this instead, Sayaka. Just standing and walking passively, and using your sword like a whip, brandishing and sheathing it each time. But I guess you are playing Chipp Zanuff. You find the muscles attractive or the backwards knife thing?"

"Don't distract me," Sayaka said as she mashed buttons hard. "Damn it, he has so much muscle and speed but so little damage and HP. Aren't ninjas supposed to kill in one blow or something?"

"Weaboo ninja," May said. "I'm going to block all day for all I care… Oh crap." Sayaka somehow hit May with the 32 hit overdrive, which tore May's small chunk of HP down to nothing. "It's honestly funnier for both players when it misses."

"Yes! I finally beat May!" Sayaka said as she stood up and pumped her fist. "Not so cool now, are you?" The rest of the girls looked at Sayaka with the "it's just a game" face look. "What? Don't look at me like that."

"It's fine," May said with a wave of her hand. "Accomplishment is relative. Now then, whether I should stay on Johnny…"

The doorbell rung, and no one knew who was coming, so Mami opened it up rather cautiously. Zusa stood in the doorway alone with an amused smile on her face. "Why didn't you just portal in or something?" Mami asked, still a little suspicious.

"I thought I'd be a normal girl for a while," Zusa said. "I just got back from a spar with Arla. She's demanding those a lot these days. And despite how it looks, using portals doesn't conserve much less energy than actual commute. Can I come in?"

"…Wait," Mami said, reaching out to touch Zusa's cheek. "So that scar…?"

"Nowadays I feel I really have to give it my best or she'll really kill me," Zusa said without a hint of being intimidated. "Thanks for mentioning it… I can't believe I forgot to clean up such an obvious place." Zusa put a finger to her cheek and let a red flame cover the damage. "So about my question…"

"Come in," Mami said. "Just don't plant a bomb or anything, okay?"

"The last thing I'd want to bomb is this beautiful place," Zusa said as she came in, the eyes of the other four girls wheeling over to her. "Hi. I just thought I'd come to check how you're doing, have some fun, and give May a challenge."

"So you do know Sol Badguy after all, do you?" May asked. The game was still on the Character Select screen, and as Zusa asked for the controller, May scrolled the select icon to the character May. "This isn't too imbalanced of a matchup, I believe."

"Let's rock," Zusa said as she picked Sol Badguy. The four other girls looked up from their snacks out of curiosity.

"Hey, so you really did get the whole backwards sword idea from here, did you?" Sayaka asked as she saw Sol start to melee. "How does that make any sense? Fighting that way is ridiculously inconvenient. In addition this blade is cubed…"

"Zusa might have a subconscious attraction to buff tan men with spiky hair and a ponytail carrying an odd cubed red sword…" May started.

"I'm a lesbian," Zusa said. "But yeah, Sol is pretty cool."

May chuckled slightly. "Zusa might have a subconscious attraction to buff tan men with spiky hair and a ponytail carrying an odd cubed red sword, but she undergoes reaction formation because it's a rather embarrassing fetish for her and says that she likes girls instead."

"You really are a handful, you know that?" Zusa asked as Sol burst out of an initiated dolphin reset.

"Why not use I-No instead?" May asked. "She has around the same personality, has a guitar, plus freaking aoe, much more useful in a fight than flames. Although I suppose you have your whole portal thing instead. But why aren't you buff and tan?"

"I-No is low tier, lowest of the low," Zusa said as she stuck in a Grand Viper and followed up with an air combo. "How about you explain to the others this game relating to your name?"

"Oh yeah," Sayaka said. "Just curious, how does the May in this game relate to you? She has an anchor as well, well I mean…"

"The May in this game has the Electra complex," May said. "She's attracted to the man that adopted her when she was little. He's captain of the Jellyfish Pirates and surrounded by a group of young girls that he saved or something on a giant air ship. The story in this game makes no freaking sense."

"That didn't explain anything," Sayaka said. "Okay, who's betting on Zusa to win?"

"No bets," Homura said as she looked up at the TV. "I'd rather prevent those stupid things from happening."

Zusa grabbed away round one in a close match, and as the second match started, May brought up another question. "Why not use Order-Sol instead? He's better. Plus that slab of concrete is decently cooler than a backwards cube sword."

"The charging up thing is stupid," Zusa said.

"It's cool," May said.

"It's stupid."

"Cool."

"Stupid."

"Cool."

"You're both stupid," Sayaka said.

"Originality," Homura said.

"Swag," May said. "The real reason is that Zusa is attracted to original Sol's muscles, since Order-Sol is clothed more."

"You're attracted to dolphins," Zusa said. "But May sort of does have a point. I wish we still lived in the days where guys were actually muscular. Maybe I'd like them better or something."

"Psychoanalysis," May said as she baited Zusa into a Burst, and then started a painful dolphin reset on Sol. "Something to do with sex and childhood." Zusa didn't respond, and May got away with round two. "Final round, girls. Watch closely." Only a few gazes were turned to the TV, and they were retrieved shortly after. In the end, Zusa ended up beating May by a slight margin.

""Want to go again?" Zusa asked somewhat calmly as she took out a can of soda.

"I'm kind of tired of the games," Sayaka admitted as she looked up at the clock. "Don't we have something else to do? Seems like it is getting a little late. If we're staying here and making dinner, we might as well get started."

"Great catch, Sayaka," May said with a smile. "However, it would be kind of boring to just make dinner, right? Let's have a three-team competition bonanza! Incidentally, we'll assign these teams randomly to make it even more interesting. Time limit will be two hours!"

"Hold on, that seems pretty damn arbitrary…" Sayaka started, but then something made her change her mind. "Alright, let's do it. But don't blame me if you get a bad stomachache after this. Are we drawing straws or what?" As Zusa put down her drink, she wondered whether or not she should actually participate in such a stupid activity, but decided to just go along with it. From the marked scraps of paper that were randomly picked out of a cup, the three teams were: Sayaka and May, Kyoko and Zusa, and Homura and Mami. The dishes each would come up with would be pretty unexpected, but most of the girls seemed to expect that Mami's team would win.

"Alright, we all head to different apartments now!" May said, the smile on her face energized a bit, perhaps because of the fact that she could now play with Sayaka. "Remember: No peeking at each other, which means no stealing ingredients and plagiarizing! Two hours start now!" As those words came out from May's beaming face, the rest of the girls couldn't help but mutter something like "good grief" in their heads. However, under that expression of weariness, they also couldn't help but let out an adoring smile.

"Pork chops," Sayaka said in May's apartment after twenty or so minutes from the time May's arbitrary competition thing was announced. "It seems rather plain, but I don't want to bring a heaping mess to the table. You can work on the vegetables and spices, or something of that sort."

"Boring," May said, but took out varied mixes of vegetables from the refrigerator and started cutting them anyways. After seven or eight minutes (perhaps she was able to vastly accelerate the process with her water-bending abilities), she brought the mix over to Sayaka and started tossing it into the pan of miscellaneous things. "Aaaaaand let's start with garlic! Onions! Green peppers! Lettuce! Asparagus!"

"Hey," Sayaka said, annoyed. "At least measure the amounts before you mindlessly toss them in."

May paused the creation of her mindless mixture for a bit. "Sayaka, if you always rely on using standard formulas strictly from your memorization, your grades in math will never improve. With that said, let's add broccoli!" May tossed more random vegetables from her bowl into the pan. "Cauliflower! Spinach! Cabbage! And perhaps some nuts… Hmmm…"

"So I'm interested, how do you do math?" Sayaka asked, her side of the dish still marinating. "Not all of us are gifted with the ability to memorize formulas in their heads."

"Hmm, but a lot of math actually pertains to the world around you," May said. "While it's hard for me to think of inciting forces as combined combinations of vertical and horizontal forces arranged in a triangle, many geometrical patterns are easily seen in nature, such as the sine curve and the Archimedes' spiral. For example, why do people naturally know that opposite angles in an 'X' are congruent? A lot of geometry is really just human intuition. I just sort of have to think of the image, that's all."

"And this math helps us in the real world how…?" Sayaka asked.

"Hmm?" May asked, as if she was a little surprised as she stirred her random vegetable mix. "Did I ever say that it did? Most mathematicians actually are quite aware that what they're doing is probably useless. Their discoveries are eventually used by architects and scientists, but I think that most enjoyable things in life really are useless – a moral obligation to do things usually makes things dull. In fact, some of liberal Westerners suggest that math should be taught as an art class. That's why it sort of pissed me off when people who lecture on how immoral something is don't necessarily live what they think is a moral life. It's the same for you, right? If you actively persisted what was moral, you'd wear out fairly soon, right?"

"…Perhaps," Sayaka shrugged, remembering her initial ordeal as a Puella Magi that was now almost a month ago. "I don't know, I think when I was young I'd grow up to be a fireman or a police officer if not some sort of magical heroine. I kept feeling that sort of way when I realized I didn't have any actual talent in middle school…"

"I think crime and accident rates are rather low here in Japan," May said. "And over in America, much of the law enforcement is somewhat corrupt and discriminates against people from different social statuses… Really, I wasn't trying to establish some sort of pessimistic psychological superiority when I brought up topics of moral subjectivism. I guess I was just saying 'do what you want', you know? And it just felt like most people around me didn't really do that… Sorry if I ever implied something like that."

"It's fine," Sayaka said as she looked at the marinating meat in the plastic bag. "I probably still do have some sort of inferiority complex… I feel very plain a lot of times." Sayaka felt considerably awkward, as she hadn't really said this to anyone other than Kyoko. "It's just when I hear the way you speak your choice of vocabulary, it feels like you're fighting a mental battle every other minute that I would probably collapse from. I still maintain that I wouldn't want to be you, but… I don't know. Do my feelings make sense to you?"

"I personally don't find my rhetoric and diction unnecessarily complicated," May said. "But think of it this way: I still suck at normal conversations. Each person adapts to his or her own environment in different and interesting ways. For example, while historical aristocrats probably wouldn't be able to bear the physical burden of a peasant's life, the peasant still wouldn't be able to bear all of the obligations of the aristocrat's. I think that this sort of variety is good, instead of each individual ending up becoming some sort of Superman or Superwoman. As for any sort of jealousy, that just happens to be a common side effect of appreciation. But honestly, I think that if the rest of you girls tried, you would outdo me quite easily. You're already far more than plain, Sayaka, as you're always the first one to respond to what I say."

"I really doubt that," Sayaka said. "Being able to understand how your mind works is like learning some sort of alien language."

"Well, when I think about it, the unfulfilled potential of a commoner's intellect is due to the fact that social tact instills an unconscious moral obligation." Sayaka let out a sigh half through her nose, starting to get exhausted. "When you grow up as children, the media easily enforces certain casual sorts of norms, while enforcing curiosity is near impossible. Even the mere repeated use of the term 'in English, dweeb' when one states a sentence perceived as excessively mentally stimulating, can get a child to abandon his or her own mental aptitude and conform out of pressure. It probably gets even worse in high school. I think we have a lot of genius minds out there that are forever discarded."

"Do you like what you are, though?" Sayaka asked. "The loneliness of choosing to be different is obvious, but aside from that… I'd still say that you're having more fun on the video games than you are right now. The energetic May I see spouting random crap seems like a happier person than this aspiring intellectual architect."

"Well, I wonder…" May started. "Do alcoholics like what they are? In the end, I think we're really just sort of wired to like ourselves."

As May and Sayaka carried this sort of strange conversation, Kyoko and Zusa were working rather well together in the next room. "Karage," Zusa said randomly as she started mixing sauces. "Probably not a food critic's favorite, but it's looking rather good from here."

"…Thanks," Kyoko said, still wondering whether she should ask the question she had in her mind. She sighed as she continued flipping over the meat, and decided to ask. "Hey, Zusa… Can you tell me what happened before my memory was wiped? I don't think it'll be pleasant, but… I want to know."

"Hmph," Zusa said, looking uncomfortably to the side. "It was pretty unpleasant. You know, Kyoko, you really are a pure person. To go through all of that and still have your sort of heart… I mean, I went through that sort of nasty stuff too, but I don't think I can be like you."

"Where's this coming from?" Kyoko asked. "That sort of compliment is something Sayaka flatters with me pretty often, but I mean, I had help… And I'm not even sure being pure is a good thing. Do you really think that telling the truth would violate things for me or something?"

"Perhaps not given the current circumstances, but it's a truth you don't need to hear," Zusa said. "You know, I don't believe in the whole good-guy-bad-guy theory, but there's a reason most people throughout history were closed minded, judgmental and supposedly shallow – well, either that or extremely cynical. Actually, I don't know if the two are all that different. Anyways, when it comes to the real world, when you open your mind to someone with five times more thoughts in their head than you but nevertheless has a strong passion, there tends to not be a good ending. Think of what happens when you fill a balloon with too much air."

"…I don't really get what you're saying," Kyoko said. "Are you saying that in addition from preventing people like me from knowing certain things, we just shouldn't accept some people?"

"If we stick to the example of a social gathering and ignore politics, sensitivity and psychological depth are perhaps the most dangerous of traits," Zusa said. "I think May is fine since she's able to see Homura as a close sibling figure, but as for certain people…" Zusa shook her head. "You know, you really do give me a desire to hug you. People are sort of wired to adore children, and when someone looks at who you are, they see someone who, despite living a tragic and cursed life, believes in happy endings and goes through life with a smile... In addition, you still have a cute appearance and a nice Puella Magi outfit. Perhaps you are the ultimate child."

"W-What's that supposed to mean?" Kyoko asked, and then began to see Zusa's point. If she was to be pure and open-minded, she would also have to accept a good deal of weakness instead of sarcastically dismissing it. But was she really that sort of person?

"You know, when you think of those thoughts, it gets pretty weird," Zusa said. "When you're wired to adore children and want them to love and hug you, and then peel back all of the fields of the unconscious… Abandon the social restrictions, the layers of necessary conditions, and look the desire in the face: is that sex?"

"So you're saying something along the lines of what May said a few weeks ago," Kyoko said. "You're saying that being attracted to children is reasonable?"

Zusa shrugged. "Not looking beyond the biology trying to get people to reproduce is reasonable in its own way, I guess. But maybe this is all projection. Maybe he… Maybe May's father really was just a freak. After his daughter leaves him, he's probably still fated to live an unhappy life on his original world. I'm sorry I brought this up."

"Wasn't this more trouble than just telling me what happened?" Kyoko asked as she turned the heat down to low.

"Well, if it comes to it, things might get harder if I restore your memory," Zusa said. "I'd choose you over May's father under any circumstance, even though I did spend a good chunk of time with him. I'm sure he would think the same way too when it comes to giving up his own life for a child's. Even supposed narcissistic pseudo-philosophical assholes can appreciate purity, can't they?"

As Homura expected, the dish was finished relatively fast due to Mami's culinary deftness. The taste test of the sweet and sour Thai noodles had been pretty appetizing, and it looked good, too. With that, it came to the inevitable conclusion of the awkward moment where the two girls would be expected to carry on a conversation.

"Hey, Akemi-san…" Mami started, and then corrected herself. "Homura. Does it ever feel like I'm trying to be too mature?"

Homura decided to ask the obvious question. "What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know, it seems like I might be trying too hard to be by myself. I always thought this was the best way to deal with my emotions, but I really wonder if I need to grow up so fast. I don't think I've spent too much of my youth just… playing around, like May does."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with the current you," Homura said. "I'd really prefer it if no one else in this group would be as eccentric as May. She's a giant handful as it is."

"No, it's not that, I mean…" Mami started. "Most of the people we save from demons seem to be adults. I just felt like if I act too adult-like, maybe I'll end up living an empty life as well." Such a timely coming-of-age conversation, Homura thought to herself. "I go to fancy restaurants and cook in my spare time when I have nobody else to hang out with. It's a pretty good way to relieve myself, but I was wondering if I wanted more."

"…Beats me," Homura shrugged after a short silence. "Don't force anything, that's all I have to say."

"So eventually, what I like will come to me, will it?" Mami asked. "I don't know… That seems to be a rather arbitrary way to settle things."

"I feel that most people that work too hard to develop an interest on their own usually end up suffering from burnout or breaking down," Homura said. "The thought of training yourself to like something you don't really like seems like one of an immature person's." As Homura paused, Mami stood in introspection for a bit, wondering about the type of person she really was. "I think…" Homura said, thinking of Madoka. "Even if it seems that you're dull and useless, there will be someone out there that finds you interesting. And from then on, your life will become more extraordinary."

The six girls came back together and presented their dishes to each other. After a few oohs and ahs, there came the taste test, and it was unanimously decided that Mami's was the best. Surprisingly, May and Sayaka's strange hybrid of whatever didn't actually taste as bad as it looks, and Zusa's special sauce had a nice tinge to it.

"Hey, Zusa," Sayaka said as she leaned in and took more of Mami's noodles. "What does your group thing or whatever do when it heals dimensional rifts? Are you people some sort of elite team of Puella Magi devoted to fighting evil?"

"It's nothing like that," Zusa admitted. "We realize that change is inevitable, but a large number of wishes end up having the possibility to destroy the universe. Magic creates paradoxes in itself… We just merely try to regulate that and preserve the status quo to an extent."

"So if a Puella Magi becomes too powerful, you just eliminate her?"

Zusa shrugged. "Beats me. I'm in charge of healing all of the damage. But I think that preventing some miracles is better than letting the magical fabric of this world tear itself apart."

"But you don't have any better projects, you mean?" Sayaka asked. "You're just dedicated to preventing and solving problems, but do you actually try to improve the world?"

"Everybody wants something different, and the world is full of justice-seekers," Zusa said as she drank her glass of water. "I'm not sure how we'd actually go about making this place better."

"There's actually a joke about this," May said. "If we cured cancer, a whole lot of doctors would be out of a job… But hypothetically, in a world of no suffering, it'd amount to just a bunch of fat, self-sustaining satisfied people rolling around and doing essentially nothing. Oh hey, do you want to debate about God and the Problem of Evil?"

"I'd rather not at the moment," Kyoko said, to perhaps everybody's surprise. She was busy thinking about what Zusa had said to her, and how she should face further conflict in her life. As Kyoko gazed upon May's face, a mild headache blossomed in her forehead, and unpleasant memories were still pushing against the walls of consciousness.

The six girls finished their dinner after an hour or so, all engaging in somewhat lively conversation. As Zusa exited the apartment complex and summoned her motorcycle, she wondered where she should actually side if Arla's plan actually gained enough momentum. The twintailed girl put a foot on her pedal and rode off into the mist of darkness. She wondered whether she should pay a visit to Madoka Kaname to see her opinion on the matter, even though doing so was forbidden by the Ordered.

Things had been going all too well for the other five Puella Magi. The sensation of peace and prosperity eventually began to cycle back into one of confusion and turmoil. At first glance, nothing wrong would come out of the sudden changes that had taken place. Both May and Sayaka had experienced tremendous and unexplained boosts in their magical abilities, to the point where a fight with a demon would last only a few seconds.

However, the magic began to become uncontrollable. When May pressed her pencil against paper to write one day, it disintegrated into a combination of plastic bits and powder. Sayaka was experiencing many nervous twitches, perhaps because of her vast storage of unexpended energy. As the five Puella Magi walked to the café after school to discuss such matters, the fated moment arrived.

A red flaming portal appeared in front of the girls, and Zusa and Arla stepped out of it, blocking the path along the roadside. "You've had enough fun, haven't you?" Arla asked as she summoned her blue scythe and pointed the edge at May's throat. "Oh come on, demon spawn, don't act so surprised. You knew it wouldn't last." The background suddenly changed to that of an enormous palace's, and each Puella Magi readied her stance for battle, May shrugging off the blade quite easily.

Arla started walking down the palace floors, still confident in her ability to take down multiple opponents. "Souls that are, how shall we say, sheltered after their death in order to prevent them from decay don't last in physical bodies for very long." Sayaka looked at her hands, which were starting to jitter with energy. "And you, May Sakemura, were ripped from another universe with an entirely different set of physical properties. You were also fated to bear your share of Grief, but you didn't, so you're carrying quite the excess of energy along with Sayaka Miki…"

"What do you want?" Sayaka asked firmly as she gazed at Arla's Puella Magi outfit. It was an ornate Victorian dress, and gave off an almost hostile sense of elitism. "I tend not to get along with people that start by pointing blades at other's throats."

"Your souls, is all," Arla said. "If you keep this up you'll risk the stability of this world. So I'll ask you. Will you come with me?"

Sayaka felt that this new Puella Magi was untrustworthy, but reminded herself to keep an open mind. "Kyoko, would you mind if I left for… The sake of bettering the world?"

"I…" Kyoko began, and scanned Arla up and down, flashing a glance at May. Zusa seemed as if she was just observing with a cautious gaze. "I would. Don't think that you can just take my… My Sayaka away from me by using this sort of lame excuse. We'll all go together with you and look for a better way if that's what you're asking, but I think you're just being unreasonable."

"I'm only being fair," Arla said as she lifted up her scythe and began twirling it on her right index finger. "There are plenty of other Puella Magi who don't get such a chance. I thought you were a rather just girl, Kyoko Sakura. But of course, people only complain about injustice when it affects them." Arla stopped twirling her scythe and caught it in her hand swiftly. "When it comes to true justice, I'll have to step in. I assume by the looks of it, we're going to fight." All girls were in their Puella Magi outfits and had their weapons ready. "Zusa, are you with me on this?"

"Sorry, Arla," Zusa said as she backed away a little. "I think I'll just have to watch on this one. The things you do sometimes are just really cruel."

"All right, then," Arla said as she summoned a fancy chair for Zusa to sit in. As the twintailed girl sat down, Arla turned to Mami. "What about you, Mami Tomoe? Do you care about the state of the world more, or your friends?"

"I think we know the answer to that question," Mami said as she pointed a musket towards Arla. "You can still reconsider if you want."

"I won't be needing it," Arla said as she summoned a squadron of blue ghosts, each carrying their own scythe. "Behold, my personal collection of failed Puella Magi. Regardless of their individual backgrounds, they eventually realized that my way was superior. When each person gives up the same thing regardless of subjective value, justice will be done."

"I really don't want to do this…" Sayaka started, but Arla was suddenly already at her throat, and the two engaged in sword to scythe combat. Sayaka had the upper hand in bombarding Arla with a flurry of attacks, but the scythe was always one step ahead of her, ready to block and counterattack. As Sayaka's friends tried to step in, a small handful of ghosts appeared before them.

"They aren't physical, are they?" May said as she blocked a ghost's attacks with her anchor. "So much for my super-super-strength. We'll need precise magic for this one!" May launched a burst of water that dispersed the ghost's strong arm into mist, but her foe merely picked up the scythe with her weak one and continued brawling.

"I'm really not used to fighting like this," Kyoko said as she summoned a barricade of red jewels and sent them towards a ghost, lighting it with some slight heat magic. As more enemies came from the side, however, she could only block awkwardly with her spear.

"Crap, they're not slowing down…" Homura said as she hovered in the air shooting time-distortions at the ghosts. They appeared to be adept at dodging projectiles, and jumped up a pretty good height. Mami had cocooned herself in sphere of yellow ribbons and was peeking through holes to shoot bullets at the mass of blue spirits.

"Friendships fade away, but justice is something that goes beyond time and space," Arla said as she backed Sayaka up against a corner.

"I don't know what the hell your idea of justice is supposed to be," Sayaka said as she ran up the wall and threw a stab towards Arla, but the white-haired girl swiftly dodged.

"It's nothing about giving people what they deserve, and all about maintaining order," Arla said as she continued to block Sayaka's attacks calmly. "Happiness and law aren't related in the slightest. Equality is simply an efficient way to keep justice because people rebel given inequality."

"…You call that a hope, you call that a wish?!" Sayaka said, throwing every ounce of her body at her enemy. "You became a Puella Magi for that?!"

"It was better than your early attempts of being a stubborn moral idiot," Arla said as she kicked Sayaka in the stomach, sending the sword-wielding Puella Magi flying. "And what do you do now? Just mess around all day, huh?" As Zusa looked at Arla's calm expression, she noticed that something was definitely different than usual.

"Oh right, because you want people to be robots, do you?!" Sayaka said as she got on her feet and continued attacking Arla. Even as she twisted her body and attacked Arla from almost every angle, even supposedly teleporting in random directions for a time, Arla's defenses remained impenetrable.

"Strong emotions are equivalent to grand delusions," Arla said. "The only eternals are existence, nothingness and change. I vow to protect the first… Hmph!" Arla disarmed Sayaka and threw the blue-haired girl to the ground, almost cutting into her with the scythe if Sayaka had not rolled away. Sayaka got back to her feet and summoned a new sword, but Arla merely changed her position with an amused glance. "You treat your weapon as an extension of your body, but that's not how it's done. You should treat your body as an extension of your weapon." The blades clashed, and the flat of Arla's scythe smashed into Sayaka's cheek, sending the blue-haired Puella Magi toppling down again. "Or are you too busy sharing hugs and kisses and fond glances to fulfill your purpose in life?"

"Sayaka!" May said as she rode an enormous wave of water along with the other Puella Magi. With a blunt hit of May's anchor, Arla went flying backwards and landed on her feet warily. The bruised part of the white-haired girl's body was regenerating in a mass of blue flames. "I guess you underestimated us, didn't you… Agghh… ugh." May almost collapsed on her poisoned legs, leaning on Homura for support.

"That's quite some teamwork, isn't it?" Mami asked as Sayaka came to the side of the other four girls. "Each of us has a different role. Not really something that's possible when you train each member of your little army to fight in a certain way."

"And the demon-spawn actually sacrificed herself, didn't she?" Arla asked. "Very well then, it appears I'll have to use a slightly less reliable method, although this would've been the most efficient had I beaten you."

"You're running?" Sayaka asked, surprised.

"Hold on," Zusa said as she shot a red flame at Arla. The white-haired girl easily dodged the projectile as she met Zusa's glare. "You were holding yourself back there. So you really are plotting something, aren't you? This goes against the Ordered's mission, and your personal conception of justice. I'm afraid I can't let you get away with it."

"Tsk," Arla scoffed. "It actually doesn't violate my conception of justice at all. Aren't you tired of this whole law and order game, Zusa? Don't you think that it'd be better to change human nature instead? I don't think I'd be asking for too much. Our group already makes up for quite a large number of the Ordered. And even if you kill me here, I'm just a pawn."

"Dead legends never die, huh…?" Zusa muttered. "Thanks, but no thanks. You might be surprised, but there are plenty of people in the world other than me that don't want sappy endings. From here on now, it looks like we're enemies."

"So if you're not killing me here, you're going to try and follow me then?" Arla asked. "Perhaps it really would be better if you girls had killed me, but the Purifier said I was important to her plan. Very well then, follow me as you may." Arla disappeared in a puff of green smoke, and the background reverted to the usual everyday scenes as the other Puella Magi stood in their magical outfits. Except for one problem…

"What the hell's happening here?" Sayaka asked as she looked up at the gaping hole in the sky, letting through what appeared to be a further background of TV static. After a while, though, Sayaka turned over to May. "Are you all right? It doesn't look like you can move your legs at all…"

"I think I'm okay. And the bright side is, she probably took away our excess powers," May said with a smile as she leaned on Homura.

"It appears I'll be joining you guys for a while," Zusa said as she crafted something out of red fire. "As you may have inferred, Arla's changing the laws of the universe, and in a greater way than permissible. The change is much more ambitious than that of Madoka Kaname's, if we're to compare. She probably just attacked you guys because May and Sayaka's excess magic might get in the way of reconstruction, but now…" Zusa let the wheelchair she created cool for a bit, and May sat down in it awkwardly. "Are you girls ready?" Zusa summoned a large rd portal to heaven-knows where, the center of it swirling in an odd mist. "As I expected, Arla really did go there. The dimensional constraints are a lot lighter than usual…"

"Where are we going?" Sayaka asked as she looked into the red portal. May let out an odd chuckle, and everyone turned to the hazel-eyed girl to see a grim smile on her face.

"My original universe, isn't it?"


	5. Purification

Purification

"Hey, do you really have any idea on how to hunt this rebel faction down?" Sayaka asked as the six Puella Magi walked through the white nothingness between universes.

"I'm not really sure how we're going to do it," Zusa admitted. "But if we don't try to stop Arla, the very fabric of your existence might be changed – for good." Something flickered in the air, and Zusa stopped in her tracks. "The barrier guarding the collected wishes of every lived Puella Magi is loosened. If we go farther along, we may find Madoka Kaname… Anyone want to come?" Before the girls could respond, a massive wave of air threatened to crush them from the left. Everyone swerved to the right, along a different path now. "It looks like we'll have no choice but to go through here."

As the six girls walked through the white space, light outlines of wishes floated through the air, and the wishes were written in a multitude of languages. "Theoretically, one can grab a wish out of the air and use its power, but I don't recommend it," Zusa said. "It looks like we're coming to the end of the tunnel. Beware, you may feel a little nauseous about this."

"Wait," Homura said. "I'm sorry everybody, but I want to use one of these wishes…" Homura grabbed a floating wish in the air that read "I wish to understand my special someone" and started to push it towards her chest. She was getting tired of all of this intermission, and wanted at least some way to see Madoka again. And perhaps this was the only chance.

"Wait, don't…!" Zusa warned, but it was too late. As the wish dissolved into Homura's chest, her body lightened up in a bonfire of purple magic. She didn't know what she was thinking anymore – Madoka's thoughts, her thoughts, they really were… Wasn't she warned about this before? Why…? "Someone else has to insert their mind into hers!" Zusa explained urgently. "The perspectives in her mind are so radically different that she won't stand for long like this…"

"I'll volunteer," May said, raising her hand with a worried expression. "I would work, right?"

"Yes, but…" Zusa looked at the purple bonfire and saw Homura's outline fading. "I'll do it." Zusa stepped into the bonfire and met her forehead against Homura's, and immediately, the violet flames stopped dancing, and Homura collapsed into Zusa's arms, exhausted. "I didn't expect you to do such a rash action."

"Sorry," Homura said, clutching at her forehead. "Even in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of this sort of wish… I didn't think it'd be that different. Madoka cares about everyone, while I care only about her…" It made Homura's heart hurt just thinking about it.

"You're not supposed to love someone really similar to you, right?" May asked as she wheeled over on her wheelchair. "To accept another's viewpoint and find out that you love them so much… I think that's a better romance regardless of most situations. But accepting and being the same person are two different things."

Zusa's memories swarmed about in Homura's train of thought. Here was another girl that had also gone through multiple universes and was left with her own memories. "That's… A lot," Homura said as she got to her feet. "I think I'm okay now. This won't amplify my power or anything, right?"

Zusa shrugged. "Maybe." The twintailed girl cut a red portal up in front, and the six girls entered the swirling red wisps warily.

"…Well," May said as she sat in front of her plain-looking, grayish house. "I'm home." The sunlight was beginning to fade into orange, and there still remained a giant ripped portion of nothingness in the sky. The background looked somewhat along the lines of a quiet middle-class suburb rather than that of a noisy city's.

"Hey," Sayaka said, looking at her hands and at the other girls. "I thought people looked different here."

"The magical essence and thus physical properties of your world probably leaked into this one," Zusa explained. "He was waiting all along for this graphics update… Never mind that. I don't have a good feeling about this. I sense his presence, but it's definitely damaged, somehow. Arla and the Rebellion are probably trying to eliminate all of the major sources of magic. I guess even after warping back here, there was still some juice locked away in that aging body."

"Hold on, hold on," Sayaka said as Zusa and May went up to the front door, May awkwardly clunking her wheelchair up to the staircase. "This makes no sense. Who's 'he'?"

"May's father," Zusa said rather bluntly. "Should we call him by his first name? We can't call him Mr. Sakemura because that's not his actual last name. May, are you all right with that?"

May was sweating rather nervously, feelings of guilt and turmoil going through her heart. "…Okay. This is all going to get really complicated again anyways."

"Call him Andy," Zusa said. The common English name struck feelings of unease in both Homura and Kyoko's hearts. "Or would you prefer to call him Shade, as many secret organizations call him? Both seem like pretty stupid names to me. And then there's the names he made up for himself, 'EpicBoredom' and 'CaptainAfrica'…"

"Let's just get going," May said as she knocked down the door with a punch. "I'm home," she said in Japanese, and then switched to English. "I'm home."

"Don't worry about intrusion," Zusa said as she waved the four other girls inside. The other Puella Magi gave each other strange glares, and then shrugged and followed Zusa and May into the building.

"Hot damn," Sayaka said as she looked around the house. The setups were rather simple, but unwashed plates and empty bottles of wine were sprawled all across the floor. "Did someone invade this place already? Or is this the wrong house?" Sayaka stepped around to observe, careful not to slip on one of the bottles.

"He thought his daughter, the only reason he existed, was gone for good," Zusa said, clearing the path full of debris so that May could lead the rest of the girls around. "Perhaps the more rational action would be suicide, but the guy was always somewhat of a coward."

"Daddy…" May muttered under her breath as she made her way into the master's bedroom. The five other girls walked in to see a room with a few bookshelves, lights, and a bed, but no bodies. There was definitely an aura of magical tension, however.

"Looks like they took away his body," Zusa remarked. "…But he was still persistent enough to remain here in some form. Tsk, what a troublemaker. Hey, asshole!" Zusa switched to a rather fluent English. "Your daughter isn't dead, so come towards where I'm standing. You remember me, don't you? Zusa Kanajo. I'm more than one of your original characters, apparently." An invisible force started to move, and Zusa snapped out an odd metal charm to seal it in. "What's left of May's dad is in this charm," Zusa said as she reverted to Japanese. "I don't think I can go around creating a new body for him just yet, as that might ensure too much instability, but this might help one of you in combat." Zusa tossed the charm over to Homura, who caught it anxiously. "Basically it'll give you something like an invisible shield and regeneration. The effectiveness still depends on who's carrying it, so either you or May should take it."

"Wait, wait," Sayaka said again, looking over to May's distraught figure. "May, are you okay with this? She just sealed your dad's soul or whatever in some sort of charm and gave it to Homura…" Sayaka wrestled her short blue hair with her hands. "Man, this is confusing…"

"You take it, Homura-onee-chan," May said as she turned over the wheelchair. "Don't worry, I'll get by on my own."

"I can fly without this, and you can't even walk…" Homura started, but May was already wheeling into the hallway, fighting against the tears welling up in her eyes. That's right, there really wasn't going to be a perfect ending, was there?

"So, are we camping in this place for the night and scouting where our enemies are during the day?" Sayaka asked, letting May go off by herself. "You still haven't fully explained yourself, you know that?" As Sayaka said those words, Homura ran off to retrieve May, and was back a few seconds later. Homura took May off the wheelchair and let May use her legs as a chair as she sat down. The hazel-eyed girl still had a somber expression on her face.

"Ah well, I suppose you guys should know more," Zusa shrugged as she sat down on the king-sized bed. "Puella Magi aren't the only magical beings that live in this world. I'm not entirely too sure if the Incubators secretly installed this, but there are Angels and Demons in this world, too. They aren't like the sort of mythical beings you imagine, but more like the extreme personalities in a multitude of supposedly normal people. If you've ever thought about it or looked at the people around you, you sometimes realize that humans have a lot more emotion than they actually need. These strong feelings both fuel our self-destructive tendencies and our virtues of unreasonable kindness. It was only through emotion and ambition that humans progressed to their current state of merging their biological bodies with architecture and technology… That being said, there are two types of extremes at this point.

"Progress and change can only be done in a cyclical manner – otherwise, the world might just end up as everything or nothing. Angels and Demons are special spirits sent down into human bodies to maintain this cyclical process of development. Both cannot normally have human children, and both may turn out like normal humans in the long run, but there are distinct differences. Angels are sent to regulate or create things are generally extroverted, and usually have a strong moral backbone. If exposed to magic, their wings are usually constructed of nothing more than some type of feather. Demons, on the other hand, are sent to destroy or change things, are usually introverted, and lack moral backbones. Their wings mutate and grow in complexity over time given due processes. Of course, for the personality characteristics it can all be severely influenced by environment, and both can do common notions of good and evil.

"In any case, May's father and May herself are both demons," Zusa stated rather calmly. "So is Homura… In any case, May's father – Andy – was one of the stranger types of demons, though. A Bundle, or Overload demon, ties in with the bundle theory of identity. They are generally given few traits, and collect most of their thoughts and emotions from the environment. If Bundle demons are given the chance, their potential for magic becomes nearly endless given all of the pain and pleasure they absorb. May's father was regarded as one of the more notable cases of Bundle demons given magic, precisely, the man without a happy ending. There exists a wide multitude of universes, but slight differences tend to be homogenized… However, in each universe Andy didn't reach a happy ending and usually would hurt many around him. There was a lot of debate about whether such a man's existence was justified. It could be said that he really had no free will at all in his choices, and it was all determined by the environment around him. Or it could be said that he had a lot more free will than most people, since he was able to absorb so many thoughts into his head, and thus made all the wrong choices. Either way, it seemed like there wasn't a point letting him live, but he lived anyways.

"…As far as I'm concerned, Arla wants to drastically change the world so there's a lot less suffering and destruction. It appears she's following some higher orders, too… It was stated that the gates guarding the balance of the universe would open up sometime around now. (As for why, there didn't seem to be a particular reason) From myths, the essence of everything seems to be something along the lines of a coin spinning on its end. However, no one really knows what'll happen if the axis is changed, or if the Rebellion decides to tip the coin onto one side completely. That's sort of why a good deal of the Ordered wants to prevent that, although a lot are tired of their jobs. As for additional facts, Madoka Kaname was an angel, Arla is an angel, and Kyoko over there is an angel."

"Aren't we supposed to sprout wings or something, though?" Kyoko asked.

"It's pretty conditional," Zusa said.

"And what are the rest of us?" Sayaka asked.

"Plain and normal human beings, aside from the Puella Magi part. We end up having a lot more power than expected, though… If you want more information about the different types of demon, May is an Incestuous Demon. Had she not warped here she would've started an incestuous relationship with her dad sooner or later, and that inevitably doesn't end well…"

"I don't need to know," Sayaka said, still rather confused. "So this Rebellion faction is tired of all of the bad things in the world, but they want to change it in a way that's unknown… That's actually quite a hard decision to make. I mean, I probably don't brood over it as much as May does, but this world does have some pretty terrible things. But even then, there are still a lot of good things in the world, and there's no guarantee the change will improve anything…"

"Just stick on my side for the time being," Zusa said. "This won't be just some sort of plain war or race to the secret gates, either. It's likely they'll throw illusions and try to convince you that way, too."

Homura paused, remembering the immense shock she went through upon absorbing part of Madoka's consciousness. Madoka was an angel, and Homura was a demon… What side should she take here? Homura felt like Madoka might be the type to take the side of the Rebellion, but she remembered all of the times she saw Madoka's Witch form, which had been insanely bent on creating a world without suffering. I didn't just go along with it, though, Homura thought. She wondered why she suddenly found personal suffering so valuable, and held May in her lap tightly.

"Well, we don't know when we need to make the move, right?" Sayaka asked. "Let's look around here for the time being. May, is that okay with you?"

"Okay," May nodded. "Just prepare to be a little… disturbed if you rummage too deep." Homura lifted May up onto the wheelchair, and followed Sayaka and the others out the master bedroom.

"Sorry," Homura said. "I'm curious."

"That's a pretty nice photo album, actually," Sayaka said as the girls gathered in the spare bedroom and took out boxes, one by one. The electronic picture frame was automatically going through a slide show of pictures of May being together with her father. Half of them had funny faces. "Heheh, I guess the photos in this world still didn't change… I've got to say, you really do look like your dad, May. I still think that people in this world look really weird."

"What is this?" Kyoko asked as she pulled out a self-printed little book covered in anime sketches. The title had her father's name and "in battle" under it, along with "Released on the verge of death, the mighty Bundle-Demonic-Philosopher King!" The cover had an odd drawing of what looked like an esper in a school uniform, along with a picture of May laughing on the side and Homura looking at the esper with a bored expression, along with a cartoony figure bursting out in confusion among seeing someone drawn on a notebook, whose back read "Psych P.4".

"Oh, that's my dad's self-image book for the Psychology class he took in high school," May said, her face brightening up with a nostalgic smile. "He got a 51.5/50 on it."

"It does look like some effort was put into those sketches…" Mami said as Kyoko flipped through the book with a confused expression. "So it's usually me, May, and Homura featured in these sketches. It sure is pretty awkward seeing yourself as a fictional character drawn by some weird high school student..."

"Hey, how did he know exactly how May would look like upon entering our world?" Sayaka asked. "That's weird too. And he even bothered to imagine up a fictional daughter in high school…"

"Senior year," May said.

"He's still nuts," Sayaka said. "Thinking about having little anime girl daughters at seventeen."

"Future Plans," Mami read out loud, with the image of May's dad smiling coyly and holding May and some dark-skinned girl by the top of their heads. Both girls in the book had bored expressions. May was labeled "Descended" and the other girl labeled "Adopted". The caption at the top was rather small, saying, "As a living being I want to pass on my genes. As a human being I want to pass on my ideas. Raising or having children is probably the most efficient or socially acceptable way to pass either of the two onto the future. Wait, this is a high school project?"

"Well, it was almost 20 years ago from now," May said. "And they don't do that many of these types of projects… America is a silly place though, isn't it?"

"I found weirder stuff," Homura said as she went over to the bookshelf in the corner. "There's the books May's dad published professionally, and a bunch of self-printed ones. I wonder how much paper, ink, and binding he put into this…" Homura opened one of the books and started reading off a page.

"Most of this row was made during his high school years," May explained. "Printing them out was an easier way to share than giving online links, and it fed his ego. It's not like he used big font or whatever, though, and the paragraphs are generally pretty thick."

"You can see the effort and spirit he put into it," Homura said as she shelved the book she had taken out. "But it's all so…" The purple-eye girl shuddered as she recalled the blunt emotion thrown at her from those pages. "_Disturbing_. Perhaps so disturbing that only critics could praise it."

"That wasn't his intent," May said. "A disturbed, honest person won't print out clean pages." May turned over to the other girls, who were toying with an old laptop.

"So this is a laptop, eh?" Sayaka said as she moved her finger around the mousepad. "This is so awkward… And yet this wasn't immediately obsolete by touchscreens? Let's see what he had. Pictures…"

"Er…" May began.

"Oh, God," Sayaka said as she immediately averted her eyes from the screen. "Kyoko, please look away or X the window, please."

"Oh come on, you didn't expect this?" Zusa asked. "It's sure interesting to see yourself violated, isn't it?"

"And anyone could draw this…" Kyoko muttered.

"How could you turn away from this image, Sayaka?" Zusa asked. "It's a picture of Kyoko with teary eyes asking for a hug."

"It's so sexually explicit," Sayaka said, still covering her eyes.

"Okay, post-coital hug," Zusa said. "But there's no moral way to ignore this picture. Ignore it and you're abandoning a cute child, even if you say it's better in the long run. You can say that you took advantage of a minor or something but then that'd make the person in this picture feel like she was an object with no free will. And it'd be rather rude to shove your responsibility onto…"

"It's not that bad," May interrupted as she took the laptop and closed the window, opening up a web browser and going to an imageboard. "He didn't download the mean ones. Let's search 'sakura_kyouko sex'…"

"Stop it!" Sayaka said, shutting her eyes and covering her ears. "I want to believe that humans still have some decency, even in this world…"

"Oh, you're such a prude," May said as she Xed the window. "Okay, how about I open up one of the yuri doujins…"

"No, I don't want to see middle-aged or young men or whoever in general drawing pictures of me involving sex!" Sayaka exclaimed.

"What about wannabe deep romance-writers teenagers writing yuri fanfiction?" Zusa asked.

"No," Sayaka said. "Let's just do something else, okay?"

"All right," May said as she closed the laptop lid. "Homura, do you want to look up images of yourself? What about any of you girls?" No one seemed to volunteer. "Well, keep in mind that you were seen as a fictional character when these were created…"

"I'd rather not see myself as a fictional character," Sayaka said. "And there are some… A lot of things I'd rather not want to know."

"Whatever floats your boat," May shrugged. After that, the six girls more or less decided to camp in May's house for the night, cleaning up the mess that was strewn across the floor and preparing dinner. The ingredients were taken from local convenience stores, and Zusa for some reason was able to summon American money as well. The end of the world might've been imminent, so there weren't too many moral concerns raised about what the girls were doing. All the while, May still seemed to be the one feeling the most uneasy, despite the fact that it was her own home.

"Are you all right?" Sayaka asked May as the six girls ate a simple dinner of moderately spiced curry. "You know, it's not your fault for any of this. Arla would've acted out on her plan sooner or later, right? I feel that if you hadn't came, we… Well, the other three girls would've been crushed too easily."

"…I'm glad you think so," May said. "But I just have a lot of mixed emotions coming back here. If it's not my fault, then whose is it? And even if it's my dad's, it would be considerably difficult to find out the guilty person's responsibility in this scenario." No one really knew what to say. The group seemed to respect these sorts of moments and avoided the casual chatter.

"I really don't want to talk about that asshole again," Zusa said. "But even if he's just stuck in a charm inside, he's still going to be one of our keys to win this fight. Incidentally, I forgot to mention something else when talking about the angels and demons. Have you ever wondered what happens to all the forgotten dreams and nightmares in the world? Those of Puella Magi's get converted into heaploads of energy, but as for the everyday humans, theirs actually take rest in some forms of Bundle Demons. May's father was one of those demons – someone that contained all those abandoned dreams, those socially unacceptable desires. After his sophomore year of high school, you could say he was selfish and cold as a young man could be. Any form of compassion and optimism he had started with was near down the drain. But you know…" Zusa turned an eye to Homura. "Out of the many people that just stand by and say that's unfair, there will be a few that will do something about it. Everything mixed together really well when Madoka Kaname sealed her special feelings for her best friend inside of him." The table erupted with confused glares. "Of course, due to the thought processes that were already running inside the guy, it started out as something slightly different. In any case, Madoka sending away her feelings was somewhat necessary – a goddess overlooking the world can't be extremely biased, can she? However, instead of just sealing them away in a container or converting them to energy, apparently she did this. I'm not too sure why that was. Whether she'll be able to retrieve these feelings someday is unknown…"

"Perhaps you never should've brought up the demons thing," May said uncomfortably. "When all of these impulses inside my dad are just seen as natural processes, you can say that he hardly made a decision on his own. But if you're to see him as human and assume his free will, most people wouldn't feel anything for him either. In any case, I still don't want to believe that the only drop of goodness in his heart had to be inserted from an outside source…"

"What does this have to do with anything again?" Sayaka asked. "Shouldn't we focus on preparing for battles we'll face in the future, or something like that?"

"Magical wars are unpredictable in the first place," Zusa said. "To be honest, though, I'm surprised May made it this far, with the thoughts going through her mind. If Arla was to get her way and change the laws of this world, people like May probably wouldn't exist, because dreams would never be abandoned and twisted inside the minds of special demons. Or rather, May would just be an eccentric, energetic girl – would you people be fine with that?"

"You're allowing us to make our own decision, even if you're on the side of the Ordered?" Mami asked.

Zusa nodded. "I feel like you five probably have a better sense of what humans want than me."

"…So," Homura spoke up as she observed the expressions on May and Zusa. "The love burning inside May's father, and May herself, is really just as intense as Madoka's feelings for me, huh? Even if the feelings come out so twisted due to other factors…" Homura asked the question to herself: Would it have been better if there was never a twist?

After dinner, the girls did some more exploring around the house. May's room, which hadn't been explored, was rather simple, with books making a significant mess everywhere. The clothing in the closet was rather simple, and Sayaka laughed upon bringing out a light blue one-piece dress. "I can't imagine May wearing this."

"Oh…" May said, embarrassed. "I used to wear that a lot more when I was little. Along with that circular hat…"

"That's a pretty weird getup," Sayaka said. "Why don't we see if it still fits?"

"I'd… rather not," May said as she looked away. "It sort of brings up memories I don't want to remember at this moment."

The six girls brought out sleeping bags and blankets and decided to sleep in the living room. The scene was still a tad bit discomforting, but for some reason, the ridiculousness of the situation didn't feel so unsettling anymore. "I really thought that going to a world where I was a fictional character living in an old fanboy's house would feel weirder," Sayaka said as she looked up at the ceiling in her sleeping bag next to Kyoko. "But for some reason, this just feels like any other sleepover to me."

Homura let out a somewhat grim laugh. "You don't exactly have to keep in mind that your friend's dad still has romantic feelings for you."

"But it feels like we're together, doesn't it?" Kyoko asked. "I'm not sure what exactly it is, but you four are the strongest friends I've ever had… Ah."

"Don't mention it," Zusa said as she turned over on the couch. "You five should stick together. I've been off by myself for a while, so I'm used to it. Not to mention that there's still a tad bit of an age gap between us." There was a short silence between the girls. "In any case, May sure got to know you all pretty quickly, didn't she? Maybe you should crush the Rebellion fast so that you can get back to the fun and games… Hmph," Zusa chuckled to herself. "That's something that would only work for May, right? It'd be pretty unacceptable if a boy wanted to play with fictional little girls…" May turned over in her sleeping bag noticeably.

"…Don't mind me," May said. "Say what has to be said, and do what has to be done. If Zusa fashions a new body or whatever when we win the war, I still don't think there's ever going to be a happy ending for my dad. I'll just say one final goodbye, or something along those lines."

There was another silence, and after a while, Homura tapped May's sleeping bag, Zusa's charm in her hand. "Are you sure you don't want to take this?" she whispered. "Do you think your dad really cares about me, a fictional character, more than you, his own daughter? After all, you're still having trouble moving your legs, aren't you?"

May averted her gaze, her heart still filled with unpleasant emotions. "You've already done a lot for me, Homura-onee-chan. I just thought I should pay you back like this. Besides, his feelings for you are still pretty strong, especially when you hold the charm close and he senses you."

"All right," Homura said uneasily as she drew away. "But if you die out there, I'm not going to forgive you." Homura looked up at the ceiling and thought of her past experiences with Madoka again.

"There's still a chance that you'll see her again," May said softly, to Homura's surprise. "The current Ordered keeps strict locks on otherworldly barriers and such, and Arla made the notion to capture all of the lost souls. If we can find substitutes that would take Madoka's place every now and then, it'd probably be possible for her to come down every once in a while."

Homura blinked, a fond smile on her face. "I shouldn't get my hopes up though, right? All right, let's get some sleep. We might have a long run of battles ahead of us tomorrow."

The next morning as the girls were preparing breakfast, the doorbell rang. Mami opened it up to find three Puella Magi standing there. "We're on your side," the evident leader of the group, a black-haired girl with grey eyes said as she put out a hand. Mami shook it formally. "I'm Ruth Cinderman, one of the still-loyal captains of the Ordered. We're just here to talk about some things regarding what might need to happen this day." The three girls were let in, and they all seemed to subsist of bottled drinks alone as everyone else ate their breakfast. "The Rebellion has a strong belief in their cause," Ruth said. "However, the nature of their formations would probably make them somewhat predictable. When together, they'll all move like programmed machines. Just keep that in mind."

"…Hey," Kyoko said. "Do we really have to fight them? I know that I'd like to be on my friends' side, but… Aren't they aiming to create a better world?"

"We're just following the initial cause of the organization, which is to keep things stable," Ruth explained. "And people that believe they're creating a paradise may have no idea what they're getting into. Many military movements in history wanted to create that utopia where people would act differently, and I see the Rebellion as no different. Unfortunately, they've already persuaded a large amount of our people…" Ruth turned over to Zusa, and then to Homura. "You have the Bundle Demon in one of those charms, right?" Zusa nodded. "Good, that should give us an advantage."

"Wait," Sayaka said. "Don't you people favor balance in this world? Why would you use something that, according to Zusa, causes a large amount of imbalance?"

"Heh," Ruth chuckled. "You people should all really hear the full stories of Shade someday. Whenever the man's given magic he almost destroys the world, and usually by accident… They make for a good campfire tales. In any case, the Rebellion wants to stabilize this world, while the fundamental nature of a demon is to disrupt it, no matter what he or she believes. Think of it as tug-of-war. While we aren't in favor of letting the rope sway to either side, if we apply nine Newtons to the left while it's tugged by nine Newtons to the right, it'll just vibrate in place. That wouldn't happen if we applied zero Newtons."

"So what's the plan, anyways?" Zusa asked, her plate now empty and drinking her glass of juice. "After we eat breakfast, we go out and search for the Rebellion and try to crush them?"

"Precisely," Ruth said. "In any case, you're all together on this, right?" Ruth looked over the six other Puella Magi. "Did they try to persuade any of you yet? They'll put you in a fantasy world to try to win you on their side. I hope you'll be able to resist that."

"Arla approached me a while ago," Mami admitted. "Apparently, if I joined her cause, I'd have a higher sense of purpose in my life… And I do sort of fade among this crowd, especially with May here." The gazes were all turned towards Mami. "But I honestly made my decision a while ago. I don't mind being an unimportant character. It's not my role to act cool and lead anymore."

"You sounded cool just saying that," Sayaka said. "All right then, so we're off now, aren't we?"

Zusa carved a red portal in midair, sensing where the Rebellion might be. "Let's go."

* * *

Zusa teleported the girls to a relatively large and suspiciously empty city. "So it's begun already, has it?" Zusa asked. The sky had an enormous circular scar in it burning with white flames. "All the people in this city were probably sucked into that void in preparation for the reconstruction of this world…"

"This seems to confirm that they're the bad guys, huh?" Sayaka said. "It's such a crude method to change things…"

"Zusa, Ruth, and the rest of you girls," Arla's voice could be heard from far above. The white-haired girl was standing on a building right in front of the flaming white whirlpool. "We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Have your thoughts changed regarding the matter now that you see our power? I don't think it'd be rational for all of you to try and take us on just so you can have one last fight."

"Call us foolish, but we really are going to win this one," Ruth said. "I don't consider myself sadistic or anything, but people thrive on conflict."

"Very well then," Arla said. "Let's make this quick." A flaming white meteor fell down from the sky, and immediately separated the group of nine. May was lying down next to Sayaka and Kyoko, and the other six girls were cut off by a shower of even more meteors.

"Freaking useless wheelchair," May said as she summoned a wave of water and rode it with Sayaka and Kyoko to dodge following projectiles. "It sucks having to move this way. My power's pretty much nerfed, so it'd be appreciated if we can end this rather quickly…"

"That's something that I'll be doing," Arla said as she landed in front of the three girls, the water around her dissolving on contact with the white flames. "You know, it's a real shame that you couldn't just come along willingly. After all, you didn't even see what I had to offer." As Sayaka raised her sword, Arla snapped her fingers, and suddenly the world went white. The four girls fell into through haze into a world of the unknown.

"Hey," Sayaka said to Arla as the background started to readjust. "Are you trying to tempt us or something? We've been through quite a bit, and we're smart enough to not take something just because it looks appealing. I'd rather just settle this with a brawl."

"You know that's something you'd lose at," Arla said as she turned to the three girls. They were all in their casual clothes again, and May had another wheelchair to boot. "This is more than an illusion, you know? If my plan works out, dead souls can really come back. Regardless, I'm going to try and let this sample persuade you three before it has to come to violence. It would've been hard trying to do it with six, but this should work out perfectly fine."

"Hey…!" Sayaka said, but Arla disappeared mysteriously, and the backgrounds clicked into place. "Wait a minute…" This was all too familiar. It was the church Kyoko had taken her to, except it wasn't broken down. It was restored in its full glory, the stained glass radiating colors from all over the place.

"Kyoko," a deep voice called out from behind the three girls. Upon turning around, the Puella Magi came face to face with a certain somebody. Kyoko's eyes widened as a mixture of emotions shot through her heart.

"Father…"

"I'm not an illusion," Kyoko's father said with a slight smile. "I guess that's the thing I should say first. And second, I'm sorry about what I did, Kyoko. You really were just trying to do what was right, right?" Kyoko couldn't even bring herself to nod shyly. This was all too surreal. "You're friends of hers, aren't you?" May and Sayaka nodded, unsure of what to say. "I'm Keichii Sakura," Kyoko's father said as he bowed.

May broke the silence. "What… What's this world supposed to be like, anyways?" The hazel-eyed girl turned to look around. This sample of Arla's world definitely extended beyond the church, and would have to be checked thoroughly.

"What everyone in this world has always dreamed of," Keichii said firmly. "A world where needless suffering is avoided. But don't mistake my words. It's not like we're robots. We can still, of course, feel happiness…"

"What about the other emotions?" May asked. "Can you feel boredom, despair, frustration, forgiveness in a world where people treat each other so perfectly? Do you have the luxury of choosing such things? Without those emotions, I don't think a person is ever complete."

"It will take some time to adjust to," Keichii explained as he walked back and forth. "But I think this sort of world is truly better than one where people are always so confused and wage wars on one another, and innocents are abandoned daily…"

"Just to be curious, what were your beliefs regarding religion?" Apparently, May was the only one that could speak up in defense, and no one stopped her. "It deviated from the mainstream beliefs, didn't it?"

"Ah, yes." Keichii stopped in his tracks. "I was especially troubled by the Problem of Evil. When the world is filled with suffering and evil urges, it becomes hard to say that the world was created by an all-powerful, loving God. Thus I had a revelation one night – God had fallen, and we needed to listen to our virtues to restore Him and balance the world. It isn't an illogical viewpoint, is it?"

"Is it worth it, though?" May asked. "You were angry at this precious daughter of yours because she made other people listen to you with magic, as if they were brainwashed… But even if people realized it on their own, wouldn't the result be the same? Everyone thinks the same way, and never has to bother learning new opinions on what's right and wrong, on what's important and what's not important. I'm rather fond of this sort of variety and speculative sharing of thoughts. Maybe it means accepting evil in the world, but I think the world should remain as it is."

"Unfortunately for you, the majority of people don't think that way," Keichii said. "They want a pure world without these sorts of evil urges, one that keeps them satisfied and happy. Why would you willingly go through this sort of psychological torture just for the sake of it? Is variety really worth all of the pain in this world?"

"Yes," May said. "If supposedly dirty colors like gray, dark brown, brownish-green and the like were removed from the world, I would definitely miss them. A large part of being pure is curiosity, imagination. The young child will wander away from guaranteed comforts in order to explore something that might bring pain, but at least brings something new – that's right, every new experience guarantees some sort of pain. I can't call a world paradise without this sort of wonder, this discovery."

Keichii let out a slight, uncomfortable scoff. "Like your father, you seem to be a bad influence on my daughter. What do you two think?"

Kyoko had been avoiding eye contact for quite some time, and finally looked back up at her father. "I… I'm not quite sure."

"You would…!" Keichii exclaimed. "You would tolerate the existence of a scoundrel who looked up _that image_ of you on the internet and finds pleasure in it?! You would allow people to just deny all forms of moral good in their hearts and treat their emotions as thought experiments?! You…" Keichii put a palm over his forehead, and took a few deep breaths. "Sorry for the outburst."

"It's okay," Sayaka said. "I'm sure we just need some time to look around this world." Damn it, May thought to herself.

"I'll be waiting then," Keichii cleared his throat, looking back down at May. "Even you… You just took that mentality so you could survive with your mental state, right? Deep down, even your dad wanted that sort of perfect world, didn't he?"

"…Perhaps," May said as she turned her wheelchair and followed Sayaka and Kyoko out of the church. A deep silence passed between the three as Sayaka and Kyoko sat down on a bench, Kyoko leaning on Sayaka's shoulder. So far, the world didn't look that much different from usual. But the three girls had come from quite a privileged place.

"…You know what I'd usually try to explain things with?" Kyoko asked in a soft voice. "It's in no idea original, but that God allows all of the evil things in this world because it's more important to grant humans free will or happiness… But as time passed, it just felt like humans in this world were unnecessarily violent and aggressive." Kyoko turned a pair of concerned eyes towards May. "It just seems like there's more bad than good in people, when I hear about all of the man-made disasters around me…. Certainly, if we balanced things out a little bit…"

"That's not true," May interrupted. "I don't believe there's more 'evil than 'good' in humans. The world is just filled with unpleasant emotions, and people by instinct want to blame others. The reason animals usually don't perpetuate needless suffering against their own species is because they don't have the luxury to do so. Their aggressive instincts are aimed towards other species. Humans don't have such a scapegoat, as disease doesn't even wipe out a significant portion of their population. But deep down when a person thinks of what he or she wants, they usually won't think of killing or revenge. I think that's enough to say that fundamentally, humans aren't really bad. They're just really confused."

"So stupidity excuses everything, doesn't it?" Sayaka asked gloomily. "Still, when you see the horridness of a torture or a mass murder in comparison to something along the lines of a birthday party, doesn't it really feel that this world ought to change? Maybe humans don't have evil intents, but there's always so much more pain than pleasure."

"I see it as a challenge," May said. "There are so many things that make someone in the modern world suffer, but only some small, mundane things that make them happy. Learning to appreciate certain things is a joy in itself… And in any case, you of all people should be wary of every wish. If we were to actually change the fundamentals of human nature, the consequences would be unpredictable. Even a little boost in intelligence wouldn't get much done, in my opinion. Maybe it's painful or it doesn't make sense, but I'm just a little attached to the way this world works."

"…Are you only thinking for yourself, though?" Sayaka asked. "I don't care how logical your arguments against an existent morality are, but you yourself know about all of the pain in the world, and don't believe that the victims are going to heaven. No, even if they did go to Heaven…"

"If we all went to Heaven and everything was forgiven and understood, that wouldn't eliminate the existence of the previous pain," May said, looking up at the cloudy blue sky. "It's why people keep records of history… Some evils are so great that you just have to carry them on your conscience as a member of the human race. It'd be a sin to forget about them. And I'm quite worried that we won't even be able to have a scene like this in the new world. If people always do the right thing, there is no moral indecision; there is no loneliness to ponder things out. There is no comforting because everyone's always in their prime. I feel like this indecisiveness is part of life, to encounter a moral dilemma and choose one of the options. Even if we supposedly reduce violence in the world or something of that sort, I have a feeling people won't be much happier, since it's all relative. People in the first world probably have as many ups and downs as a hardened third-world soldier, given the fact that humans adapt to their environment."

"Let's go," Sayaka got to her feet, sort of dismissing May's comments. "We haven't seen this whole world yet." The blue-haired girl started walking, and was followed by May and Kyoko shortly after. "So you don't want the world to improve at all, do you, May?"

"You can put it that way," May shrugged as she spun her wheelchair. "It's just that I don't want to have a miracle do all the work for me. I'm not too fond of the concept of earning something, but I want the world to improve because I've managed to change my viewpoint on it myself. That sort of makes what I went through more meaningful, you know?"

"And you'd ignore the rest of the world's wish of a happy life in Heaven?" Sayaka said.

"Sometimes, it seems like people don't really know what's good for them," May shrugged. "Or maybe it's another thing. I like the fact that after something's imagined, it's acted out upon if possible. If I only thought up of something possible and no one carried it out, that would honestly feel rather lame. Considering another possibility, I would somewhat dislike it if humans were never able to have some sorts of thoughts."

"Compared to your other arguments, this definitely just seems like personal preference, though," Kyoko said. "And I just can't seem to grasp your idea that happiness is relative. Logically, people would choose the happy life over the so-called fulfilling one, right?"

May sighed. "No matter what, I'm always going to sound a good deal masochistic here, right? I guess I'll let you two make your own decisions… Ooh, a snowy hill!" The side of the road was fell off into a mysterious snowy slope. "But snow in this weather…?"

"I can't believe you'd interrupt something like this for snow," Sayaka said.

"I want to try something out," May said with a determined face as she drew the other girls up to the tip of the snow hill. "Here goes nothing!" With that expression, May pushed on her wheelchair, and started skidding down the hill uncontrollably. "Wheee…eee…eee… Whoa!" As May reached the bottom of the small hill, her wheelchair got stuck in something and tossed her face-forwards into the white mass of snow.

"May!" Kyoko called out as she started trudging through the snow with Sayaka. Upon doing so, the temperature of the snow shocked her, but not because it was cold.

"Warm snow," May said as she peeled her head out of the snow. "You see…" May summoned a large blob of water to adjust the wheelchair and lift her body back onto it. "In a world without evil, people can't even do stupid things. Even if they could grieving for such a thing or trying to understand it would become pointless as they would always know the right thing to do. When you do something that endangers yourself, you'll inevitably wind up hurting those that care for you. In a sense, people don't even have any freedom over their own bodies in this world."

"This is a bit too convenient," Sayaka admitted as she rolled together a warm snowball in her hands and gazed at it. "But I'm still not entirely convinced." Sayaka raised her arm and turned towards Kyoko to suggest a snowball fight, but instead pressed the snowball against her own cheek.

"Hey…" Kyoko said, turning to a road in the distance. The snowy hills inexplicably faded off into a piece of dry land. A fancy complex stood up ahead, and a piece of classical music resonated from its setting. "That music…"

"It can't be…" Sayaka said as she made her way towards the building. "But that's definitely Kyosuke's piece…"

"Looks like there are more familiar faces here than we thought," May said as she wheeled her wheelchair along with Kyoko. As the three girls entered the open door of the building, the music suddenly faded away.

"That's not how you do it!" a young male voice was yelling. Kyosuke was waving his composer's wand furiously at one of his supposed students. "What are you, stupid or something?!"

"Looks like this world isn't completely without evil," May said. "Okay, maybe that's a bad way to put it."

"Agh, never mind," The grey-haired boy said as he grasped his forehead in frustration. "We'll just practice it a few more times. But if you really want to get good, don't expect me to keep my calm… Huh?" Kyosuke had finally noticed the three girls that had entered the building. "Hey guys, practice is off for a while. It appears some people have come to visit me." The boy signaled May, Kyoko, and Sayaka to follow him into the backstage behind the curtains. "Fancy seeing you here. By the way, I heard what became of you." Kyosuke looked at Sayaka, and then moved his eyes to scan the faces of May and Kyoko. "Magical girls, huh? I assume you wanted to talk with me?"

"I thought this was a world without evil," Sayaka said as she looked away with an annoyed expression. "I can't believe someone so sensitive would yell at his students like that."

"Hmph," Kyosuke said. "That's a rather simple-minded way of looking at things. To learn how to play a composer's piece well, they have to feel the composer's anger and misery as they operate their instruments."

"That's terribly artificial," May said. "If you really do that, your students won't end up doing any great things on their own."

"Like they would've anyways," Kyosuke said with a sarcastic smile. "You're familiar with that theory of mankind, aren't you? The theory that states that most people are born submissive, and that few people are born with gifts. Do you think these people really would do anything great on their own? Deny it all you want, but that's how it is."

"But if you're getting others to follow you, aren't you just stroking your ego?" May asked. "Shouldn't music be something that allows the individual to express himself or herself in a unique fashion? Maybe classes are needed to some degree, but a person achieves the most extraordinary things on his or her own."

"What about it?" Kyosuke asked as he started pacing around in thought. "You know this is the way it has to be. Not everyone can be great, and the great will suffer if they are to fulfill their potential. It's the same for you, huh, May Sakemura? You can pretend to get along with those other girls all you want, but deep down, there's always going to be a schism between you and the common people." Kyosuke stopped and stood in place. "Very few people want true freedom - the ability to experience anything they can think of. I suppose this world is ideal for the majority of mankind. They think they're doing everything on their own, but in reality they're just following a guaranteed reward."

Sayaka almost leapt forward with anger. "Kyos…"

"How disgustingly egocentric," May interrupted. "Is this really what you want out of your life? To be some sort of tormented artist whose only interaction with others is to have them praise you?"

"As far as I'm concerned, that's a pretty ridiculous statement coming from you," Kyosuke said with a mocking glance. "Isn't that what your daddy wanted to be? As someone who wrote novels, he controlled people in the most literal of ways. Even when he stumbled upon a simple crush, he was a control freak, always having to play by his own philosophical rules. You can say that he raised a nice little daughter, but I won't buy that one bit. It's the same ego-stroking you accuse me of. Do you think that you'll really end up enjoying the life of a middle school girl while sharing his thoughts, and having been raised by him? The other two will probably leave you to stay in this world."

"Shut up," Sayaka said. "I really did only like you because you were a pretty face with talent. You acted well in your interviews, too, didn't you? But I'm beyond that now. There's only one reason we came here. Do you like this world or our original one?"

"Well," Kyosuke said as he crossed his arms. "I suppose it's guaranteed that I'll be appreciated here, but to be honest, I don't really care. As a person of talent, I don't desire to become a mindless slave like most people. Anyways, it really doesn't matter to me." A short silence passed for a while before May spoke up.

"Hey, do you ever think you're going to find love and have children?" May asked. "Just wondering."

"Probably not," Kyosuke admitted. "Man, that Hitomi girl who asked me out really didn't understand a thing about music or most arts for that matter. I dumped her in a matter of weeks… I assume it's going to be like that for most people I meet."

"Hmph," Sayaka said as she turned and started walking out of the building. "Let's go."

* * *

"Nice work, Mami!" Zusa said as she sped through the battlefield with her motorcycle, Mami dispatching enemies with guns as she stood behind her. "Are you enjoying being the turret?"

"I've got to say, this is the first time I've fought like this," Mami said as she shot down one of the shadowy figures charging at her. The fact that the enemies were warped, flickering figures instead of actual human beings made them much easier to kill. Apparently it was because they had already partially dissolved into the new world where everyone shared a sort of hive-mind. "Homura-san, are you okay?"

"Just struggling with a little pressure," Homura said as she dodged bullets whizzing past her black wings and brought down enemies with her arrows. "I'm honestly not sure if we'll win this one."

"Don't be afraid to take them head-on!" Zusa yelled as she made a sharp turn to dodge a melee attack. "I'm pretty sure the charm has a good deal of power behind it!"

"Right…" Homura muttered as she swerved to her left to dodge another flaming meteor. She wasn't sure what would exactly happen when she used the charm, though. If it was a person's soul that was stuck inside and magically filtered to produce an effect, it would definitely harm the person in the charm in some way. But if she didn't use the charm, she had a good chance of losing. Stopping time would be a more useful ability in this situation, Homura thought as a scythe suddenly appeared from behind her and threatened to cut her down the middle.

_Whirr…_ A low vibration rippled through the air as the enemy attack met an invisible, spongy shield. This charm really does do wonders, Homura thought as she punched her foe in the stomach with a purple, fiery fist. Her assailant dissolved into nothingness, but in a millisecond, Homura was bombarded with more projectiles, the strange force field dealing with half of them. "Sorry, May's father…" Homura muttered as she started firing back, using the shield to the fullest of her advantage now.

"Hold on!" Zusa yelled as she jerked her motorcycle upwards and launched herself off her seat, using a portal as a diversion and then teleporting to clash with an airborne enemy. Mami stood on the free-riding bike uneasily for a while before Zusa finished her brawl and landed back on the motorcycle. "They're using a simple web formation," Zusa said. "We just have to find the core, and that will lead us up to the Gates of Laws… I'll explain later."

The battle was over shortly after that, and Zusa, Mami, and Homura met up with Ruth's squad of three. "So, where from here on now?" Mami asked.

"You sense a magical pattern from this battlefield leading somewhere, right?" Zusa asked, and Mami nodded. "That's where the Rebellion is headed. To think that a gate to the inner workings of the universe is so close to us… In any case, there are probably rebels arranged in a circle around where the gate is. We'll just follow the line to the center… Of course, there's probably going to be time for them to set up the battlefield to their advantage."

"I'll call more backups, I guess," Ruth said.

"Are Kyoko, May, and Sayaka okay?" Homura asked as she looked at where the first white meteor had hit. "If Arla disappeared with them, it proves there's definitely some sort of leader beyond her…"

"They were probably trapped in a simulation," Zusa said. "I just hope they stick on our side if they come out. It'd be nice to wait up for them, but that poses too much risk to us. We should get moving towards the universal gates now."

And so, the small group of girls moved towards the magical trace, Zusa carrying Mami on her motorcycle, Homura with her wings, and Ruth and her squad in some sort of random car. "You know," Mami said. "This may seem sort of stupid of me, but I guess I actually enjoyed fighting today. It was sort of fun."

When the girls stopped for a break, Homura went up to Zusa to ask a few questions. "I'm not sure how long this charm will hold." The charm definitely didn't look tainted or broken, but Homura felt a feeling of uneasiness as she held it in her hand. "Well, besides that… Tell me about May's father. I don't know if I can increase the strength of the charm this way, but I sort of want to know."

"May probably said enough already," Zusa said as she twirled one of her black twintails. "In any case, after listening to everything that's been said, he either seems like a really despicable person or a really pathetic one, doesn't he…? But May has her points. In the end he's still another human being that shares a lot of universal feelings." Zusa looked up at the massive rip in the sky. "When I look at people in the world, I usually remind myself that due to their situation, they have different, how should I put this, stats than others. And Andy - May's father – you can imagine has a completely inefficient build. It's much like an incompetent video gamer putting all of his points in one attribute, which turns out to be pretty useless in comparison. Philosophical intelligence, which can't even be measured accurately. Of course he also happened to be quite sensitive, which leads to only logical and emotional extremes. No caring about social standards in between."

"He couldn't even pretend, could he?" Homura said, thinking of all the moments she shared with May. "Will you restore my full memory now?"

"Probably not," Zusa said. "I'll consider it after everything's done… You know, it really is a pain to always have to act within the bounds of logic and skepticism. I used to think that way, and still sort of do. I think some people are wired to be that way, and for them, breaking into illogical emotion is the most wonderful thing they can do with themselves. But I don't really think they should always be seen as unpleasant."

"Will I be able to see May's father after all of this is over?" Homura eyed the metal charm curiously.

"If you want to," Zusa said. "For now, though, we should focus on the task at hand."

A few more battles were fought that day as the group of six advanced to the center of the Rebellion's formation. Homura ended up using the shield much more than she intended to, as her carrying the team became somewhat inevitable. An enormous explosive would detonate right in front of her face, and she would keep flying onwards, the force field absorbing a ridiculous amount of shock. As Homura fought, she wondered about how the man in the charm was doing, and what she would have to say to him after all of this was over.

* * *

"Oh, Sayaka-san. You're here as well, it seems." Kyoko, Sayaka and May had bumped into Hitomi as they walked around observing the area. "I actually haven't talked to you in a while."

"Hey, Hitomi," Sayaka said. "How do you like this new world? It still seems awfully weird to us three."

Hitomi looked ahead in a blank stare. "It seems like a nicer place than it was before. Although I really am confused about why Kyosuke is still so upset about everything… He always gets so angry whenever I try to talk to him. Something about how I'm shallow."

"You are shallow," May said bluntly. The hazel-eyed girl was evidently frustrated. "Just blinding accepting orders from high cultures and your parents and pretending to be someone important…"

"Hey, May…" Sayaka started, but May ignored her.

"Most likely, you'll probably remain that sort of person. But there's a chance that you'll see more, you'll do more as you encounter new challenges in life. You're not obligated to live up to your potential – no one is obligated to do anything. But you certainly can live a much more meaningful and more aware life than this one. However, if you choose to remain a flat character, all you have to do is stay in this world."

Hitomi blinked. "Eh? I don't get what you're talking about… Ah, you're something along the lines of a genius too, huh? I still don't understand that sort of mindset…"

"Sayaka, Kyoko, let's go," May said as she pushed the rails on her wheelchair. Hitomi disappeared in the distance a good few seconds later, which was when May started up the conversation again. "So? What will it be? How appealing is this new world to you two?"

Sayaka bit her lip thoughtfully. "The more I think of it, the more it seems as if my friendships as well as my character have been strengthened by misunderstandings and disagreements. I can't say that you're the perfect friend, May – but that's what makes you interesting. Maybe I'm being selfish if not judgmental in my desire to keep the flaws of the old world. It doesn't work out as well for a lot of people, but… I can safely say that I'd rather have my life as it is now than the life I'd live without Kyubey and magical contracts."

May turned to Kyoko, who, on the other hand, didn't look too sure of herself. "You know, people have tried for millennia to give meaning to what seems to them as pointless suffering. It's like trying to square a circle, to make a bad thing good with some convoluted explanation. But people don't question the things that make them happy. I think that it's the same with despair – even if it's completely meaningless, we should learn to at least accept its existence."

"It still doesn't feel right to me," Kyoko said. "You honestly prefer the old world that drove you crazy with all of its nonsense?"

May brushed aside a strand of her messy dark hair. "You know, there's a quote by Dostoevsky: 'If God does not exist, then everything is permissible.' But I think a world like that is better, in which people can create their own laws and opinions, and don't have to come strictly programmed with ideas of what's right or wrong. I think if we're to be mature members of the human race, we need to accept responsibility for all of our species' actions, and not merely turn to praying to an eternal parent or blaming others with conventional finger-pointing morality. Granted, that's not a moral obligation in a world where everything is permissible, and it doesn't guarantee meaning or happiness, either. But… That's just my opinion."

"Hmm…" Kyoko looked up at May, and then turned her eyes to Sayaka. "You're right. I'm not sure if I agree with you completely, but I never would've gotten this far if I didn't drag myself into Sayaka's troubles, and if May didn't drag all of us into hers. Some things just can't be disregarded, huh?"

"So then," May said with a confident smile. "Should we head back to the church, or what?"

A few minutes later, Kyoko stood upright in the entrance to the church, gazing upon her father's back as he stood in thoughtful contemplation. "Father, I've made my decision," Kyoko announced. "I'm sorry, but I prefer the old world."

"Is that so?" Keichii asked as he turned around, a slight look of disappointment in his eyes. "You really got your head filled with nonsense, didn't you? Or are you afraid?" Keichii snapped his right wrist and summoned a burning white spear which glowed red at the edges. "I was entrusted by the Rebellion to carry out the plan. Don't worry, even if I kill you, you'll come back in your full form, enlightened when this is all over." Kyoko's father snapped his fingers, and an odd sort of barrier formed between Kyoko and the other girls.

"Kyoko!" May and Sayaka shouted in unison.

"This is something between father and daughter," Keichii said as Kyoko started rising towards him on a pillar, reluctantly transforming into her Puella Magi outfit. The scene blurred, and all of the sudden, the church was no more.

Before Sayaka even had time to swear, a cold voice rang out from behind her. "It appears I'll have to resort to violence." It was Arla, clad in her Victorian dress with her deadly spear in hand. "But as he said, you'll be reborn if you lose anyways. On the other hand, if you kill me, I'll be gone for good. Are either of you really sure that it's permissible to kill a human being? May you really be justified in such an action?"

"Yes, you may," May said with a determined expression as she transformed into her blue outfit, still sitting in her wheelchair.

"Everything is permissible," Sayaka added as she donned her costume and drew out her sword.

"You're going to lose, you know," Arla said as she snapped her fingers. An enormous wave of people came marching to Arla's side, their marching making them seem as reliable as well-polished machines. "Maybe you're fine with killing me, but what about these folk?"

"They're brainwashed, damn it…" Sayaka muttered.

"Leave that to me!" a young, bold voice called out. It was Kyosuke, who blocked the path of the people quite conveniently and began playing a long violin piece. Arla's makeshift army suddenly stopped in place, standing still to listen to the harmonies of the violinist prodigy.

Sayaka blinked, a little confused but glad that she had support on her side. "Thanks, Kyosuke!" Arla tried to attack the violinist, but Sayaka outran her and blocked off the path.

"Very well," Arla said, only slightly annoyed. "I'm still confident in my ability to take you two on." With that statement, the white-haired girl started her second sword and scythe brawl with Sayaka, but this time, May was on the battlefield. Sayaka and May coordinated their attacks relatively well in comparison to one another, and even with her skilled blocking and dodging, Arla was struggling to take the pressure. "You've become such good friends, haven't you?" May was still sitting on the wheelchair while fighting, too.

"I'd like to see your pathetic little ghosts do this!" Sayaka threw out a stab. Arla dodged to her right and the stab went over May's head, but May used the opportunity to deal a brutal uppercut to Arla with her half-anchor. Sayaka followed up with a relentless horizontal swipe, one that Arla could only deflect with her scythe. May finished the string with a plain anchor spin, and Arla was sent flying off several meters away. May and Sayaka began moving towards the fallen figure, ready to deal the final blow.

"I underestimated your teamwork," Arla said as she struggled to her feet, healing her wounds with some dark blue magic. "But it's still not enough to take me down…" In an instant, Arla's back sprouted white angelic wings, and threw a fist at Sayaka's stomach. The two girls went flying up into the air, Arla ready to end it all with a swing of her scythe.

"Sayaka!" May yelled as she threw the chain of her anchor, knocking Arla's scythe out of her hands.

"Hmph," Arla said as she grabbed Sayaka by the throat and tossed her violently towards May. "Annoying." Sayaka and May collided, and the two girls lay momentarily stunned on the ground as the dust cleared. Arla summoned a ball of light crackling with blue energy and prepared to deal the final blow.

"Agh…" Sayaka said as she tried to push herself off of May. "Sorry…" As Sayaka said that statement, Arla launched the blue ball of energy, and Sayaka could only react in time to save herself, leaving May stuck in the crater in the ground. As the dust cleared, Sayaka stood in shock, realizing that she had just abandoned May to save herself. "May…!"

"You think I'd go down that easily?" May called out as she soared into the sky from the dust, now clad in grayish-black wings. The wings appeared to be consisted of rectangular assortments of rock and rubble, and looked quite ridiculous, if not displeasing to the eye.

"So the demon has awakened," Arla said as she flew towards May. The two girls were now engaging in a fist fight now that both had lost their weapons, but May would be at a considerable disadvantage without her legs. Sayaka summoned another sword in her hand and jumped up towards the battle, but one of Arla's feathers fell off and expanded, then blew Sayaka away with a gust of wind.

"No way…" Sayaka muttered as she landed on her feet awkwardly, unable to jump against the enormous current of wind blowing against her. May was now on the defensive in the fight in the skies, and suffered a blow to the shoulder before Arla summoned another one of her white orbs of light and prepared to slam it right into May's chest. And to think all I can do is cheerlead, Sayaka thought.

Slabs of rock surrounded May in her protection, and as Arla recoiled in surprise, the heavy bits of stone were sent downwards into Arla's body, crushing the white-haired girl against the hard ground. May fell to the ground gently, still hovering with her black rock wings next to Sayaka. "I'm not sure if it's over now," the hazel-eyed girl said as she looked at where Arla fell in speculation.

"It sure the hell isn't!" Arla's voice called out as her scythe slammed May against the ground with its flat edge, and then quickly overpowered Sayaka's swordplay and sent the blue-haired girl toppling down, too. "I don't care if I'll have to be condemned to such a cursed existence," Arla said from within the scythe. "I won't let you twits stop the Rebellion…"

Suddenly, the scythe collapsed, and Sayaka got to her feet, surprised. Hitomi had apparently snuck up from behind and smashed a rock against the scythe's back. The weapon was now supposedly "unconscious".

"I don't know if I did a good job or not," Hitomi said nervously as she put down the stone. "But she seemed like the bad guy."

"Thanks," Sayaka said with a smile. "We owe you a lot."

"Do that every day and you'll live a much more interesting life," May said as she crawled up to the fallen scythe and smashed its blade with her fist. Hitomi and Sayaka looked at the act nervously. "At least we don't have to clean up the mess," May said as she felt the strength returning to her legs. Arla's poison seemed like it would disappear along with her life. "Thanks, Sayaka," May said as she got up on wobbly knees. "You fought well."

As Sayaka was about to respond, the world all around them started to shake violently. "Damn it," Sayaka said. "I hope Kyoko can get out of wherever she's trapped in time."

* * *

As Sayaka and May were fighting Arla, Kyoko stood in a confusing stage of endless staircases across from her father. The stairs were twisted and distorted, much like one of escher's impossible objects. "You see?" Keichii asked. "This is the nonsense world you wanted to live in." Kyoko remained silent as Keichii approached her on one of the stairs. "What, you don't have anything to say? Have you just become a selfish atheist that doesn't care for the good of the world? Or is it something else?"

"It's not that," Kyoko said as she held her spear nervously. "I think that we shouldn't change human nature, that's all. We should give it is due time…" Kyoko looked down at the endless pit of impossible stairs shyly. "I don't know how illogical this sounds, but I think that God put all of these bad things in the world for a reason. While I'm not sure what the reason is, I don't think we should forcibly rewrite the blueprints…"

"That's the kind of God cowards worship!" Keichii said as he began attacking with his burning white spear. Kyoko blocked and leapt from staircase to staircase, but didn't fight back. "Are you just too afraid? Did you learn about how most rebellions are unsuccessful, and even the successful ones usually end up worse than the dictatorship? But that's just an excuse, Kyoko." The white spear was thrust forwards once more, and Kyoko leapt away as the staircase she was on crumbled into dust. "Why aren't you fighting back? Aren't you going to fight to make the world as you see fit?"

"The father I know would never advocate this violence," Kyoko said with uneasy eyes. "Remember? The ends never justify the means. I can't bring myself to fight others like this…"

"Then join me," Keichii said as he clashed spears with his daughter. "Make a world without violence. It's a lot worse than you think, you know." Kyoko broke away from the clash, and fled onto another staircase. "It's not just damaged and lonely minds that want to take off your clothes and violate you in the name of what – adoration, comfort? There are the truly evil out there, who are born sadistic and never feel an ounce of guilt, people that would torment and butcher young girls like you just for the sake of it. Can you tolerate the existence of these people?"

"…Yes," Kyoko said. "I don't want revenge or anything… I don't want anyone to be killed. I don't care if I don't have any logical proofs to support myself, or if this is just another opinion in the sea of opinions… But that's how I think the world should stay as."

"Why don't we see a better world, then?" Keichii threw his spear towards his daughter, who found herself frozen on the spot. As the spear collided with her chest, a new vision opened up before her eyes…

An ideal world. An ideal society. Upon first glance, it seemed absolutely fine. People would still make conversations with each other and say the usual gossip, and everyone seemed to have a good time doing so. There was absolutely nothing wrong as coworkers gathered around the water coolers and shared funny stories, as students stood outside the fast-food restaurants with drinks in their hands, the boys still talking about girls and the girls still talking about boys. But it didn't take long to notice that something was wrong – or rather, that something wasn't wrong.

No one cried. Even if they did have that usual bout of sadness, they would immediately receive perfect advice and comfort from someone next to them, or figure out the perfect solution in their heads. As May said, there was no indecision. There were no moral debates in which perverted intellectuals would have to justify their sexual or romantic tastes. And perhaps more troubling, no one took the time to kneel down and observe the ants on the sidewalk. People didn't feel true compassion; they only comforted those sharing the same beliefs as them.

But what was so bad about that? Kyoko asked to herself. Perhaps she could envision a universe where May would only show that bright and energetic smile of hers, and forget about all of her concerns for delusions and broken dreams. Perhaps she could imagine a universe where she didn't argue with Sayaka so much about what to eat or how much spice to add, or what movie they should watch and then pensively sit in the bathroom alone from time to time. But those notions were ludicrous. May was May, and Sayaka was Sayaka, and it was their annoying little unique faults that made them whole.

There were a lot of bad things in the world, sure. The people suffering in poverty or torn in an unnecessary war definitely deserved more to their life. But they definitely don't want this sort of strictly programmed, perfect world where no one could get hurt or hurt each other. Psychology, philosophy, religion, all had their different explanations for why humans do cruel things to each other, varying from culture to culture. To simply snap one's fingers and wish it all gone wouldn't quite be respectful to the collection of humanities that has gradually grown over time. Maybe one day, people will improve. But it was too soon.

Man, I'm really going on about this for way too long, Kyoko thought to herself. She was beginning to sound like May, and she definitely wasn't May. As the idealistic scene of a perfect world faded away, Kyoko sprouted orange-red wings like that of a phoenix's, and fiery feathers flew out to send all of the displaced people where they should have been.

"Are you okay with it?" Keichii asked as a feather touched his chest, beginning to send him back to the realm after death. "Are you okay with the existence of psychopaths, sadists, serial killers…?"

"Yes," Kyoko said softly but confidently. "But most of the evil in the world doesn't come from them anyways. It comes from everyday people that just get frustrated too easily. But I think this frustration should be kept in this world… For a good while longer, at least."

"Those wings…" Keichii said as he faded away, looking at his dear daughter. "They're those of a phoenix's, but they have a divine essence to them. I feel that I can almost trust your little camaraderie of magical girls… Very well, Kyoko. Carry out God's plans." With that, Keichii left the world of existence.

And as the background faded away, the world began to shake violently. Kyoko found herself standing next to May and Sayaka, still with her orange phoenix wings. "Everyone that was trapped in this world was sent home, right?" Kyoko asked.

"Your feathers…" Sayaka said in awe before nodding. "Yes, it appears they'll be fine. Your feathers took them away. But it looks like we'll have to get out of here another way. We still have a few more battles to fight in May's world, after all."

Kyoko looked over to the hazel-eyed girl, who was now standing on her feet. "Uh… Nice wings for you too, I guess."

"I think they're cooler than yours," May said matter-of-factly. "In any case, there's a rift opening up in the sky. It looks like we're flying out of here. Are you going to carry Sayaka or should I do the honors?"

Sayaka flushed as she put up her hands, but realized that she had no wings of her own. Kyoko put on a friendly smile and held Sayaka tightly as she took to the skies along with May, flying away just in time as the ground collapsed beneath them. "I just realized. Together we're an angel, a human, and a demon, along with a believer, an agnostic, and an atheist. It's sort of odd that we're such good friends, isn't it?"

"Especially since most people with such differences don't get along," May added. "But somehow, we found a way, huh?"

"To think that I'm in such a relationship with an angel," Sayaka said as she enjoyed the cool breeze blowing across her hair. "Your wings are really pretty, Kyoko."

"T-Thanks," Kyoko said embarrassedly as the three girls entered the rift in the sky and returned to May's universe. The final battles were about to begin.

* * *

"Oh good, you arrived just in time," Zusa said as Sayaka, Kyoko, and May landed on the ground to meet the rest of the girls. Zusa turned to deflect an explosive projectile with her curved sword. "A little late, as the battle already started…"

"The sky," May said as she looked up at the flaming white rift. Circle rested inside circle, creating what looked like a long, never-ending portal to something ineffable. "Did the Rebellion put up that lousy of a fight?"

"A certain amount of magic is needed to enter that gate before dissolving into smithereens," Zusa explained as Kyoko and Sayaka started seeking out enemies. "The leader of the Rebellion, whoever it is, probably needed to draw enormous amounts of magic to enter the portal. However, even then there's a time-delay before the laws of the universe can be changed. It looks like they were just trying to stall for time."

"So we can't get in the portal?" May asked as she washed away a thrown spear with a wave of water. "If the leader really needed that much energy to enter, then…"

"I was waiting for you," Homura said as she dropped down next to May with her black wings. "Zusa said that the full strength of this charm would be enough to get the wearer through, but only you and I can carry it. I was just wondering if you'd like to do the duties…" May bit her lip in silence, wondering if that would be the last contact she would have with her father.

"You…" The hazel-eyed girl started. "You do it, Homura-onee-chan. We'll hold them off."

"And to think I'm stuck in such a role," Mami said playfully as she drove back on Zusa's motorcycle with Sayaka and Kyoko behind her. "This story has been all about you, May."

"If one of us was missing, though, it couldn't have happened any other way," Sayaka said as she gave May and Homura a smile. "Looking back, I'm not sure which one of us was really the leader. But I don't think it's just about trying to accomplish one little thing that May wanted. All five of us grew and changed as this yellow-eyed ball of oddness drove us through trouble."

"Well said, Sayaka," Kyoko said as she clanked fists with her beloved. "So Homura will be fighting the final battle, then?"

"It can't be helped," Homura shrugged. "May wanted me to keep the charm." With those words, Homura came up to May and kissed her forehead. "Hope I'll be seeing you again."

"With that charm, you definitely will." May put on an assuring smile.

"Hey, we can only hold them off by ourselves for so long!" Zusa called out as she unleashed a wave of red flames. "You aren't neophytes anymore, so you should know that the time to reflect on experiences isn't during battle!"

"All right, Zusa," Mami said as she pushed the gas on the motorcycle and brought down enemies with her muskets. "Good luck, Homura-san."

"I'll probably need that," Homura said as she shot up towards the rift in the sky with her blackish-purple wings. As the lined circles passed behind her, Homura felt the air around her shake and become unstable. The charm was pulsing in her hands as if struggling to push through. Homura looked at the piece of metal uneasily and looked ahead – there was still a long way to go before the exit. "May's dad…" she whispered under her breath, and then suddenly grew more confident for some reason. "Lolicon freak." Homura kissed the charm softly and let it fall to her chest. "Help me out here, will you?"

A massive wind roared past Homura's ears, and suddenly, she was in a whitish world of nothingness. Sprouts of green grass appeared every now and then as she made her way towards the magical trace. As she passed a certain area, her wings vanished and the light in the charm grew dull. Homura took deep breaths to calm herself, but still felt fragile without the use of magic.

Finally, a meter high pedestal came into distance, and Homura closed in apprehensively. On the pedestal was a single spinning coin, never losing its momentum as flickers of light bounced off of its motion. "So it's you," a chilling voice called out. Homura couldn't detect who had said it at first, and then noticed a face pop out of the blankness. It was a grayish-green eyed girl in a plain white robe, and she had pulled back her hood. The stranger's silky black hair fell over one of her eyes, and a short ponytail sprouted from behind her head.

"I guess you're the leader of the Rebellion?" Homura asked as she circled the pedestal uneasily. "Are we going to negotiate or what?"

"There's still quite a bit of time before I can actually touch the coin," the leader said as she reached for the spinning coin. Her hand was deflected by an invisible force. "So why shouldn't we talk for a bit? We were thinking that the demon daughter would be the one that would take Zusa's charm, and thus Arla tried to entrap her in that other world. But we were prepared for this, too. If you're going to try to fight me, you'll be at a severe disadvantage. We can't use magic in this arena."

Homura brought up her right hand and wriggled her fingers as she looked at her palm. She definitely felt weaker. Without magic, she could hardly put up a fight. And she didn't have an endless arsenal of guns on her, either… "Why do you want to change the world?" Homura asked. She probably couldn't put up as good an argument as May, but this leader didn't look like the type to be persuaded in any case. "What exactly are you doing? Getting rid of suffering? I feel that such a thing would make us all into slaves… It was only until I made my wish for Madoka that I became a fuller person. Maybe people go through too much sometimes, I don't think humanity wants to be spoiled rotten and not give anything back."

"Do they?" the leader asked. "Let me introduce myself first. I'm Rumi, the Purifier." Rumi began to pace back and forth as the coin continued spinning on the pedestal. "Have you ever heard the problem of the Grand Inquisitor? Basically, it says that Christ giving humans freedom was a dreaded mistake. I won't relate the parable, but observe most humans. Even in a supposedly liberated first-world society, cults and religions still exist. As social creatures, most humans are born submissive, ready to follow the norms without even thinking. Even as adults, they need that eternal love and affection and devotion like a little child – why do you think Heaven exists? They even need someone else to carry the weight of their sins – Christ, God… Madoka Kaname. They can't face the world on their own or think for themselves. Granted, there are some truly independent thinkers, but the majority of humans are bound tightly by this weakness…"

"I don't think that's right," Homura said. "Perhaps most religious people just don't know what they want, or…"

"People are ultimately attracted to power and happiness," the Purifier interrupted. "Most people don't think about morality, you know? They don't consider the different circumstances and interests of everybody involved. They follow what they believe as God's laws because God has all the power. They follow the group's laws because the group told them so. Anything that isn't socially acceptable is wrong, and anything that is becomes permitted, regardless of who's getting hurt. Individuality is one of the most stressful, worthless things in the average person's life – they don't want to decide what's right for themselves. They want to be told what's right, to be told what to do, to be told what to appreciate. It hurts too much to think that you're different…"

"But May's feelings… And my feelings," Homura put a hand over her heart. "I think they're more precious, and worth all of the pain of… Of not being normal. Certainly…"

"Who are you to decide what's right for others?" The Purifier asked. "By flipping this coin onto the right side, I'll be doing humanity a favor. Everyone will have the same set of morals, so they won't conflict with each other, either… Most individuals don't live up to their potential. Groups with similar viewpoints and interests band together; only then can a person live a fulfilling life. Modern society is merely a failed cult – its citizens are still brainwashed into thinking other nations are bad, and people obsess over qualities their culture deems important… People need to be accepted, to shut their brains off and go with the flow."

Homura sighed. "So I guess we're fighting then?"

"Are you still unconvinced?" the Purifier asked. "Are you saying that the lives of the radical, free individuals are worth more than the majority that has struggled to procreate for their society? What about all of those people that died still psychologically wounded and in need of that cult-like love? Isn't that so arbitrary? Most freedom is illusory. People can only feel good when they follow the demands of the group, even if that group is one that rebels…"

"There's something more," Homura insisted. "Something that doesn't need to be like a cult for brainwashing. When you gather different friends with different opinions and personalities… When you admire someone totally different from you as you hold them in your arms… That's the way a happy life should be."

"Too bad most people don't care about the different," Rumi said as she snapped out a small knife. "Before this coin can be touched, I'll get you out of my way. Of course, this fight would be unfair if you were unarmed." Rumi tossed a second knife towards Homura, who let it drop to the ground before picking it up. "A rather crude way of fighting, but swords are messy and overrated."

I could hardly consider that a debate, Homura thought to herself as Rumi charged towards her. The first swipe was easy to dodge, but soon, Homura found herself backing away helplessly. As Rumi's knife grazed her shoulder, Homura pushed her foe away from her and ran off. She could look for an opening and try a stab, but that was far too risky.

"Are you giving up yet?" Rumi asked as she spun her knife in her hand. "Or are you that stubborn in your views? You aren't even that special, you know." The Purifier threw her knife towards Homura at a heart-stopping speed. Somehow, Homura managed to deflect the knife with the flat of her own. "You relied on magic and Madoka to become who you are. Without those, you're hardly a special person." Rumi paced towards Homura ominously.

"That's different," Homura said. "Devotion to an individual and devotion to a group or idea…"

"Who's to say that you lived a better life, though?!" Rumi threw a hard punch at Homura's chest, sending the purple-eyed Puella Magi to the ground. "You aren't an awakened demon. You influence the world unconsciously, and unintentionally. If you really had any thoughts of your own, you wouldn't be losing this badly." Rumi threw her knife again, but Homura rolled just in time to dodge the projectile. "Easy." The Purifier kicked Homura in her stomach, and picked up the knife again, leaning down and ready to deal the final strike. "Fighting May would've been much more interesting."

As the knife came down above Homura's forehead, Homura struggled. The metal charm came loose from her ribbons and perfectly sat in the way of where the knife was heading. Coincidence? Homura thought, and suddenly a rush of information came into her mind. She recalled Rumi's last sentence. More… Interesting… May. Fighting May…

"What the hell?" Rumi exclaimed as she attempted to pull the knife back, but found it stuck in place. "Hmph. It appears we'll have some entertainment after all."

A hunk of metal suddenly burst out from behind Homura and up towards Rumi, sending the Purifier and her weapon flying away. Homura could hardly see from the side of her eyes, but she had apparently sprouted her own wings, intricately laced with metal contraptions, gears, and mechanisms. Rumi got up from the ground with an annoyed glance.

"So you finally got your own wings, huh? The white, feathery wings were fake wings granted by your friend Madoka. The black wings were merely manifestations of the Grief you possessed. But something like this was unexpected. It looks like this breaks my magical limiter as it wasn't set up to deal with any power that you individually possessed. However, the battle is far from over." Rumi tossed off her white hooded robe and appeared in a stylish, greenish-white uniform. She sprouted white and green feathery wings, but still held the knife as her weapon. "What are you going to be using?"

Homura held out her hand and wondered what she would fight with. The guns were just stolen, and the bow was borrowed from Madoka. A heavy battle-axe appeared in her hands.

"Oh, that's original," Rumi said. Homura adjusted her grip and held the axe backwards. "Never mind. Interesting enough." The two girls flew towards each other and clashed, but the axe clearly overpowered Rumi's small knife. The Purifier was sent flying with the flat of the weapon, but immediately regained her balance. However, Homura had one of her wings lunge towards her foe, transforming into an enormous poleaxe. "…Nice," Rumi muttered as she evaded the attack and threw her knife towards Homura.

The knife was deflected by the other wing, but Rumi flew in quickly to continue the pressure. The Purifier swiftly kicked Homura in the collar-bone, grabbed her spinning knife in the air, and went for the throat, but another extension of metal blocked it. "…Sorry," Homura muttered as she smacked Rumi again, causing her foe to bounce off the floor violently. Homura landed above Rumi and dropped the axe, one of her metal wings forming a sharp object that would end the Purifier quickly. Homura didn't know what to say as she breathed heavily, nervous about killing a human being.

"I've already died once before," the Purifier said calmly. "Go ahead." With that, the metal object thrust downwards into Rumi's chest, unsure of whether or not Homura commanded it. "Before you leave, though…" Rumi croaked as the ticking of a clock was suddenly heard. "You just have to hear one final argument from me."

"What?" Homura asked as she looked into Rumi's eyes compassionately. "Are you going to have me look into the eyes of evil?"

"No," Rumi said as she coughed up blood and grabbed the charm dangling on Homura's chest. It had somehow become refastened. "I'll have you look through them." The Purifier pushed the charm up against Homura's forehead again, and as she dispelled the magic limiter, Homura's world went white…


	6. Opportunities

Opportunities

_It hurts_. A terrible pain clutched at Homura's heart, but she knew it wasn't her heart. She was looking through the eyes, feeling the mind of May's father. Andy. _Why couldn't I be named something else?_ A low, dry voice called out in Homura's mind. CaptainAfrica. EpicBoredom. EpicImpotence. Shade. Vladmir. Ivan. Evan. No matter what though, it all felt so lame.

Homura hated this already, but had a feeling it was just beginning. Certainly, someone with the psychological complexity to account for May's thought patterns wouldn't be limited to mere self-loathing. That's right, it was something more. The desire to please someone else, to live for something more that was present in every human being – and the pain of not doing good enough. The idea, the ludicrous idea of bearing torture and infinite deaths all for the sake of that special someone. No God or justice or reason was needed – just that wretched feeling of love that destroyed one's heart.

_Why should I care?_ The man's voice called out. _Why do I have to care about other people, about the rest of the world?_ People seem so much happier just focusing on others similar to them, not trying anything new. Should one take this guaranteed happiness and be satisfied with it? Should one merely turn a blind eye to those that are different? "He's messed up. Forget about it. I feel bad and all, but I'd much rather live my life than help someone else's." We'll just pity the Africans and send them unreliable donations through mail instead of going out of our way to help them. We'll just jail sex offenders and gang members and disregard them as actual human beings. That's the easiest way, right?

"No," Homura said to herself. "There's more to it." From the outside, she was nothing but a cool-headed transfer student. But inside, she was something more. Everyone had this _more _inside.

There was more than just "he's attracted to children and that's terribly wrong." There was the basic sexual drive or libido that urged an animal to mate. But there was something human, something needed. A psychological libido. When everyone in the world gives up all the dreams and aspirations to follow orders and convention, when everyone is busy selling themselves just to eat and propagate unsure of what they want to do, what is there to live for? Freedom, the kind of freedom seen when a child gazes at the falling snow with innocent, adorable eyes. To lose that sense of freedom and to give everything up to convention was terrible. To do everything proper and to never let passion run loose – why tolerate this slow, dry death? Be forever young. Go back to that sense of freedom, open up the mind and still see everything in a pure light. Hug that freedom, bond with that freedom; remain free despite engaging in the natural order of procreation and decomposition. It doesn't matter if it's seen as perversion or debauchery.

"Adults are disgusting. They treat each other like machines and economic variables. Once a person's used up, just toss him or her to the side. Why should I care about this adult world, with all their narrow, mechanical eyes? I don't like looking at their faces. It's constricting; it's stressful. I can't turn to God, either. It's not in my role to be submissive, but neither do I want to control people. I just want to make sure there's someone _next_ to me, which is impossible in a world full of competition and bragging."

It doesn't matter how close she is to you. The closer, the better. Disprove this cultural bias, disprove this false morality. It's okay as long as no one really gets hurt, and no one will. It's all known and it's all consensual. Father and daughter can become lovers. When it's desired, everything is permissible.

Homura wanted to close her eyes and turn away, but she couldn't. The words and images were so disturbing, but they all rang true. Taking things into rational consideration, freedom could really go anywhere without moral constraints.

_It's not like I want to hurt them. Sex should be something more than the sleaziness that's portrayed in reality. I only want to do it with someone I adore and care for, and natural relationships are far too shallow to create something like that. I want to be gentle, but I can't do it with grown-ups. It's them that are cruel and terrible_._ Putting meanings and prices on meaningless and priceless things… Why can't I just get a little girl in a box? For Christmas, maybe. I'll definitely treat her nicer than the people in this stupid world._

Homura didn't know what she was feeling. Countless lonely nights of looking at lolicon. It was only in those relaxing, gentle eyes that he could find peace. And the feeling of just committing the act in bed, it was more than just pleasure. It was forwards and backwards, permissible and forbidden, beautiful and disgusting. It was like the mind was being pulled apart in completely opposite directions, as if the human eye could suddenly glimpse into eternity.

"You disgusting, pretentious piece of crap!" Sayaka's voice called out as the scene suddenly changed. Homura found herself sitting in a theatre, stuck in her position with her eyes forced open. On the stage were all of her friends and another version of herself, and a male figure was lying on the floor. "Your heart hurts, doesn't it?!" Sayaka stabbed her sword into the man's chest repeatedly, and black blood came spurting out. "You want to help us, huh?! Then take all of our sadistic desires!" The stabbing almost made a rhythmic sound as the blood kept flowing, leaking onto the stage…

"You don't like maturity, do you?" Mami asked as she balled up a string of yellow ribbons, her chest in her outfit in plain view. "And you're deluded into thinking you can live this kind of life… We'll be part of your training then." Mami smashed the yellow ball into the man's face, bits of bone and tissue flying off into the distance. The back of the skull smashed into the floor, and the dark blood splattered where the head collided. The muscles were distorted, and the nerves on Andy's face writhed in pain pathetically.

"We'll act all sweet and pure for the cameras and the outside world," Kyoko said as she walked up to Andy with her spear. "But behind the scenes, you'll be our punching bag. What? You thought we were good or something? Hmph, what a delusion." Chains wrapped around the man's arms and tightened, tightened until the arms shattered, and bits of white bone and saggy red flesh and black blood was sent everywhere. In an instant, however, Andy's arms regenerated. "That desperate to live, are you?" Kyoko asked. "…Why do you have that smile on your face?"

The damaged figure spoke out. "I'm causing the people I care about pleasure. That's all that really matters…"

"You…!" Kyoko started. "If that's so, killing you isn't nearly enough, huh? Let's make him wish he was dead. We got to beat the pedophilia out of him." Kyoko chained up Andy's crotch and dragged the man around violently. "How does it feel?" Kyoko asked as she threw Andy up into the air and slammed him against the ground. "Sexually gratifying, isn't it?"

"No…" Homura whispered. "Kyoko, that hurts!" No one heard her. "No matter who it is, that shouldn't happen to anybody!"

"And yet it does," Rumi said. "Not just to the men fighting for their causes, but to innocent villagers, women, children… Can you bear allowing this to happen?"

"You wanted to enlighten us, did you?" Madoka asked as she stepped up to the battered and tortured body. "Well, you did. Most people do evil due to some misunderstanding or loss of reason… But given who you are, you could've only done all the wrong things out of your free will. I didn't think I could hate anybody, or do this to anybody. But I hate you."

"Madoka…!" Homura yelled desperately. Even if this all wasn't real, even if this was a tormented man's nightmare, the image was still too much. Madoka drew an arrow and prepared to fire it up towards the sky. "How is he even that bad?!" Homura asked. "He didn't even want to hurt anyone…"

"Whenever you make a choice, you hurt," Rumi said. "Most people aren't aware of that. You can either choose to please one group, or please another. It's the same with individuals. By only choosing one thing, you always commit some sort of evil. In any case, even if it's just due to world public opinion, most of what this man wants makes him reasonably spiteful."

The arrow went down into Andy's stomach and into his body, inflating the tormented figure like a balloon. "You want to know everything, do you, philosopher-king?" Madoka asked. "Well pay the price, you glutton!" The man's stomach exploded, and innards and black blood flew about everywhere. What was left of the body was devastated and punctured, but it immediately began to heal and regenerate, even while bits of gore still rained from the sky.

"Why…?" Homura asked to herself. "May…"

"It's like confetti," May said on the stage as she picked up bits of her father's gore. "Anyways, Homura-onee-chan, how should we torture my dad?"

"Let's see how many bullet holes we can fit in him," Homura saw herself say. "And then let's see how we can violate those holes. It's a fitting punishment for how much he fantasizes about opening up children," Stage Homura took out a heavy machine gun and began pouring rounds into the regenerating body. "Is that over two hundred?"

"I'm not sure, but it's a good amount," May said cheerfully as she summoned a column of water and sent it pouring into her father's wounds. The figure jerked upwards and contorted painfully, the water crushing and pushing and preventing the wounds from healing. The body twisted left, right, into impossible shapes and figures. "This is like the time we played Twister, right?"

"Had enough?" Rumi asked as the stage faded away. Homura couldn't respond, and noticed that tears were forming in her eyes. It was one thing to see this sort of thing happen. It was another to recognize all of the cruelty in humanity. "You know…" Rumi said. "It's not just a sob story. Before you met Madoka, haven't you ever even thought about a shining knight sweeping you away?" The scene changed, and it was a flashback of Homura walking by herself on that familiar bridge where she had contemplated suicide. "It could've all worked out so perfectly." As glasses-Homura leaned over the bridge dejectedly, an observant and decent-looking boy walked up to her. In an instant, things had changed from nightmares to dreams.

Glasses-Homura was talking solemnly, and the boy was listening, awkward but attentive. He said something shyly, and then the scene changed. The two of them laughing as they shared a joke in a restaurant. Peaceful hobbies, like kite-flying and bird-watching. Bowling together, sitting next to each other and hugging, sharing a soft kiss and gazing into each other's eyes, walking home together sharing an umbrella with a hot drink in the rain… Small arguments and "I'm sorry"s. The smiles and laughs that conveyed another human being was feeling a meaningful joy. "Is it all so terrible?" Rumi asked. "Sometimes, the shining knight just misses that perfect opportunity. But even as you go your own ways, that knight would be there for you, no matter how twisted he became."

"But…" Homura started. The scenes wouldn't stop flashing before her eyes. There were those countless nights spent alone with disgusting pleasures, but there was something else. Lonely night after night embracing that weakness inside of him, that desire to share things with someone, not knowing whether he would be able to think of such a wish peacefully. He had all those hateful feelings, but he also had that lovely, ecstatic feeling of wanting to bring someone pleasure. Admitting his irrational love, and never letting go. He never gave up, and that was something that should be noted. While most people would just abandon their wild and ridiculous dreams, Andy kicked and fought to keep something special within him.

"You were the only bright light in my life." Homura was now face-to-face with the man she had commonly seen as May's father in his youthful state. His eyebrows somewhat thick and his curved eyes and pupils always seemed to be focusing on something beyond reality as the dark brown irises reflected a watery obsidian. His skin was a light tan, and his body was lean enough for his clothing to make patterned wraps around him. His chin was unshaved, although the goatee was really just a small entanglement of hair, and his unkempt black hair touched the tips of his eyebrows, causing him to brush it away every now and then. "Sorry… It looks like you're going to be stuck with me for a while, aren't you?" Homura looked away instinctively, feeling that it was hurtful but permissible. "I caused all this trouble, didn't I?" the boy asked as he gazed away shyly. "If only I kept to myself, none of this would've happened. I tried not to be selfish, I really did. Before I met you, though, I was probably filled with nothing but pride and frustration. It was… Illogical of me, I suppose, but to realize this sort of hell-raising love and adoration and accept it allowed me to see more of the world. If only I wasn't like this, right?" Andy brushed away part of his hair.

Homura wondered if she would have met May had her father not fallen into this disastrous mess. She wondered about how much more troublesome or boring or lonely it would've been if it was just her, Mami, and Kyoko with no May to interfere. But there had to be another way, right? That was something Rumi would say.

"People don't like this sort of person, do they?" Andy asked, and another set of images came up in Homura's mind. This time, the boy was in his weakest state, helpless and extremely shy. He didn't say anything as Homura and her four original Puella Magi acquaintances slowly accepted him into the group. All that time spent alone with no one to confess his weakness to… Sorrow turned to anger, arrogance, hypocrisy, judgment. Can't one just snuggle up like a child and ignore all of that? Indeed, his eyes were definitely adorable as they looked up pathetically, uselessly – Homura suddenly felt that innate urge to nurture someone in her heart. This was wrong, though.

"People don't really want to understand each other, do they?" May's voice rang in Homura's mind.

"There are a lot of possible worlds to give everyone a happy ending," Rumi said. "It need not be limited to what you can imagine."

Homura woke up to find herself in an entirely new bed and an entirely new room. It was probably a new house, too… I see, Homura thought. She was still trapped in Rumi's mental magic. Falsely constructed memories rose up in Homura's mind as she brushed her teeth and walked into the dining room to see another considerable surprise. May and her father were sitting down at the dining table, ready with a breakfast of thick waffles and authentic syrup and strawberries. "It looks like you woke up just in time," May said.

So that's how it is, Homura thought. In this world, May was her daughter and she was married to that man. It didn't feel right at all, but neither did a world where someone needed to imagine himself being torn alive by middle school girls and had to desensitize himself with lolicon and alcohol.

The father-daughter pair almost immediately noticed that something was off, but didn't raise it up. Homura for some reason felt a sense of trust in this situation, and decided to say it outright. "This world is an imagined illusion," Homura said. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I quite belong here." A small silence passed between the three people.

"…So it's a magical predicament, is it?" Andy replied rather calmly with an interested glance. Wrinkles had appeared on his face with age, but it still gave off a soft sense of acceptance. "One of those commonly used in modern storytelling where the protagonist walks into a different world, and has to decide whether to stay in it. Since stories in this scenario aren't that much different than reality, you're probably intending to return to your original world, right, Homura? In that case, I'm quite worried about what will happen to the two of us now…"

"Don't just make assumptions like that," Homura said. This person really was May's father. "It's a weird surprise, but by this time in my journeys, I'm not always begging to be back in my comfort zone. In addition, I don't think I can just walk out of this world immediately…" Homura sat down on the chair and looked at the moderately-sized stack of waffles.

"Is it cliché for distorting the cliché, then?" Andy mused as he snagged up a waffle with chopsticks and placed it on Homura's plate. "I'd hate to think that I'm seducing you or anything, but perhaps I have that sort of charm, and that's why people avoid me. But it's better to be as I am now rather than a cult or fascist leader…" The man drank his tea speculatively. "In any case, I can't prove that I'm not actually using a form of mind control, as I may perhaps not be a free agent. But I suppose I'll have to hear your story."

"Basically, I was in a fight with a magical group that tried to change the laws of human existence, and the leader trapped me in your mind in an attempt to persuade me." Homura didn't know why she felt so comfortable just saying all of this. "On that world…" Homura's voice trailed off. "You're a different person."

"Do you know me there then?" Andy asked. "Or do you just know me because you were installed with memories corresponding to this simulation?"

"My memory was supposedly wiped a couple of times," Homura said as she looked at May. The hazel-eyed girl looked exactly the same despite having come from a different mother, and also seemed to believe Homura's tale. There was definitely a bond of trust between her and them. "You're merely a single father in that world who raised May, and fell into a pit of depression after your daughter slid to another universe. There, I'm not May's mother, but her friend. As for you… You're known to have unhappy endings across the multiverse."

Andy chuckled curiously. "I suppose we can go over how ridiculous this world had come to be after breakfast. It's sort of hard to eat while thinking, don't you agree?"

Homura found the breakfast fairly tasty, and noticed that it was more than just something pulled out of a freezer. She, May, and Andy sat on the floor around the coffee table, and prepared to continue the odd discussion. "Sorry, is this really uncomfortable for you?" Homura asked May.

"Hearing my mom say that she apparently came from another universe and talk about weird things is a rather interesting way to start the day, honestly," May said. Homura turned to Andy.

"Well, in this world, I first got to know you as a fictional character," the man said. "When alternate dimensions collided for whatever reason, I was able to meet you – also for whatever reason. We spent quite a good bit of time together as the chaos in the world started to calm down… It's rather awkward to talk about while in May's presence. A few years later, we started to raise said daughter, and have been living pretty peaceful lives ever since."

Homura couldn't stop herself from casting a cynical glance to the side. "Did I… Did I give birth to May?"

"Ah, there was still something to do with magic," Andy said. "Puella Magi are sort of forced to have their bodies stay in a certain stage, so even if an egg got fertilized, it would just get washed out. She was created by merging our genes in a lab..." Homura looked at May, still seeing no resemblance of her in this version of her friend. "I swear, no one of my knowing tweaked with the genes. I know it's always sort of uncomfortable for you when you feel that May doesn't share any of your traits… Ah, you just entered this world this morning, didn't you?"

"Right…" Homura said. The conversation was strange as a conversation could be, but still felt as perfectly comfortable as chatting about some daily matter. "The May I know gave off the impression that, well, both of you would live a, how should I say it…? A more interesting life." This was something that could definitely be used to refute Rumi's arguments.

Andy shrugged. "I think it's pretty interesting. Our daughter turned out pretty special, after all." May blushed upon hearing the statement. "We can always be so open with her, and she keeps her school stuff in check as well. As far as her being a supposed girl genius, that just allows whoever she's talking to to learn so many things in a conversation with her. What did you have in mind of a more interesting life?"

"…I don't really know," Homura said. Perhaps such a man would've been better off becoming a sage in the mountains. But then he would've never been able to help May become the wonderful person she was. Even then, someone of this… attitude seemed like he would never be able to live this sort of domestic life. "What do we usually talk about at the dinner table?"

"Scientific news," Andy said. "It's a mental burden to think of human ideas all the time, but really quite pointless to talk about material goods or other people. Science falls nicely in between, especially since May's always making new discoveries by herself. You sometimes share stories from your workplace, but you seem to be more of the listener type of introvert."

Homura blinked. Work…? That was right. She wasn't entirely normal, either. None of her life was. On what basis would she judge whether or not to accept this type of emotional, hypothetical argument that the Rebellion was proposing? "Do we ever get into fights?"

"Sometimes," Andy said. "But May usually comes between us and reasons it out. I wish we wouldn't put such a heavy burden on her, but she just sort of takes it for herself."

"Sorry," May said as she got up from the coffee table. "You can probably talk about more things if I wasn't here. I'll be heading to the library to do some stuff." May left the scene without another word. Apparently that was seen as a valid reason to leave the house.

Homura sighed as she looked at a spot on the ceiling. Logically, what was wrong with this world? She couldn't say. Was it all right for her to be so selfish and arbitrary? "I guess this wasn't an accurate simulation for you," Andy said. "The obvious reason to return to your world is because even with my supposed good qualities considered, you wouldn't love me as much as Madoka."

"That…" Homura began. Even on the old world, there was no guarantee of her seeing Madoka again. And Rumi could probably provide a world with that, too… But she had fought her with the mindset that she would reject such a temptation. Why, though? "Don't worry about that," Homura said. "Can you tell me more things about this world? Like in regards to… sex?"

"We don't really do it now, and never really did it that much," Andy admitted shamelessly. "You never really did find my body very attractive. Since May was born, she's been our priority, even though she's not a problem child. That girl really needs a bit of support, you know?"

"How about romance?" Homura asked. "What was the nature of that, if I ended up marrying you?"

"Talking and listening," Andy said. "That was something I usually couldn't do because normal interactions involved mindlessly judging and labeling people. But… You were a really great person, you know? I never expected you to be so nice to me. At the beginning, I clung to you a lot when we slept together. I was afraid, and just wanted to be sure that I had someone to hold. Eventually, though, you helped me overcome those unpleasant feelings. Our relationship's a lot more mature now, and doesn't involve that much physical contact. As for why you ended up with me, I suppose you just saw my emotions and mental states as things of interest… Rather, you respected my happiness. I'm not sure if that could be called love."

"…It's fine," Homura said as she brushed away one of her bangs. "What about Madoka?"

"I think she preferred fighting for humanity's sake after learning about all of the complexities of it rather than spending time with her friends," Andy said. "Kyoko Sakura and Sayaka Miki are somewhere around here, while Mami Tomoe went off somewhere on her own… I guess you could just turn away from this world due to the fact that you'll miss out life experiences. Or perhaps if you choose it, you'll slowly ease into this state and still have the precious days of youth to live."

Homura shook her head. "I don't know now. I never really liked the term 'moral obligation', but if it isn't one of these worlds where I'm with you, you seem to end up as a really sad person. I don't want that to happen, but of course…" Homura put her hand over her heart.

"It's awkward with May as your daughter and not your friend, right?" Andy asked warily. "We can't just revoke and recreate her existence, no matter how hard we try to make a paradise. I don't think you'd be the type that'd be up for memory-wiping, either…"

"And it'd also feel wrong if you just lost your feelings for me," Homura said. The generational paradox. The lover's paradox. Andy looked down at the patterns on the table patiently, but the gleam of sorrow and frustration flickered in his eyes. "I'll stay in this world for a bit longer, although I'm not sure when I can leave," Homura said firmly. "I still feel I have something to learn from it."

This world changes too much, Homura thought as she walked to the master bedroom and lay down on the queen-sized bed. Upon closer inspection, she saw that there seemed to be only the bare minimum of furniture, simply designed with no real effort put in to make it look elegant. Even if the surroundings remained the same, some part of her inside was changing. Even if her body wouldn't age, her mind would. Even without the Ordered's interference, memories would become distorted and blurred. Was there really nothing permanent in this world except change?

Then again, Homura didn't want to consider herself an inflexible person. Indeed, why couldn't things just change? She could change and grow up to live a life more like this… But why was she the one that had to carry the burden? Well, that seemed easier than having Andy give up such a powerful love of his. In this world, she wasn't really forced to do anything, after all…

Homura lay on the bed for a while, thinking of these types of questions. After a while, however, she gave up, not bothering to find the answer, and then stumbled across something. Was it what exactly was fundamentally wrong with this world? She had a collection of answers in her head.

Homura returned to the living room, where she found Andy reading a relatively thick book, and prepared herself to ask the question. "Do you still look at lolicon?"

"Not really," Andy said. "Due to our togetherness and perhaps of aging, I don't feel myself craving such things anymore."

"Right," Homura said, racking her head for ideas. "…Have you heard of the Eastern philosophies? Monks would meditate over something for days and weeks, almost tearing their mind apart in the process. But they suddenly stumble across the answer and find it all too simple – I don't think it's the answer that makes these meditations great. Without all of that pain, no matter how unnecessary it seems, they never really would've found the answer…"

"Perhaps their minds really do break, and they suggest something obscure when it does," Andy suggested as he put a hand over his heart. "You've found this a curious thing about me in the past, right? Happy endings are uninteresting." Andy looked to the side, outside the window. "But I don't want to go back to a world where I have to totter on the edge of insanity every other day and never be sure that I can remain on the sane side. I still get emotional, you know? But when you're here, I always calm down… If it was anyone else, I'd feel that something was betrayed."

"…Sorry," Homura said. "How do you make a living?"

"Computer stuff," Andy said. "I was never into strictly programmed math despite having a somewhat logical train of thought. But whatever might've made my art and literature good was all of the suffering my works expressed. Happiness really was too simple." Andy's face contorted into a scowl. "This created a negative feedback loop where I constantly had to visit those painful feelings every damn day… Sorry."

Homura looked aside and thought of all of the artworks and writings she had seen in the family room with May on the day she first arrived. "But really… Doesn't it seem like a waste?"

"I'm living a happy life with you," Andy tried to say without regrets. "May will easily outdo me with all of her talents in whatever field she chooses, be it biological research or video gaming." The man chuckled. "I was never one to like the idea of enlightenment – when everything is known and no questions will further be asked. That seemed to me to be the kind of life the ascetic, artist, or public hero lives, where there death is an ultimate completion of who they are. Maybe it seems a bit cowardly to hand the torch over to May, but I think it's for the better this way." Homura looked at those dark brown eyes, constantly softening and hardening from word to word. "You know, I was the type of person with no excuses. I grew up in one of the richest areas in the world with two healthy parents and a good enough older brother. I never made the actual mistake of getting into drugs or alcohol, and never was severely bullied. I didn't have any visible psychiatric disorders and possessed a fair intellect. I was just shy. But I became really messed up when I entered adolescence. My evil thoughts and unproductive actions couldn't ever be excused – I wasn't even following the majority. I was so surprised when you actually bothered to interact with me. I didn't know such an evil being like myself could end up living such a life. I guess I was just looking for nice people."

"…So you chose to love me?" Homura asked.

"I want everything I do to try and feel like a choice," Andy said. "But I don't recall consciously wanting to fall in love with you. Perhaps it wasn't impossible to shake it off had I tried, but… I want the capacity to be responsible for my irrational actions. I don't want to complain about how something isn't fair, for me or for anybody else."

"So," Homura repeated. "Your feelings for me were the only things that you couldn't control. Everything else you could grab under the arm and excel at, but this…" Would this support Rumi's claim that freedom was bad for humanity? Or did this person deserve all of his psychological suffering?

"When you're devoted to something, that's the way it seems," Andy said. "I just find a person much more likable than an idea or group, for people change. For now, I think May should be my priority though. It may be a Western notion, but I think parents owe everything to their kids."

Homura shook her head. Then was it up to May? Which May would be better, which May would be happier? The one here or the one she originally met? Did Homura have an idea of which one? "…I might stay here after all," Homura said. "There are some things I have to see."

Homura spent a few hours reading some books and looking around the town as she waited for May. The city was as nice as the one she had come from, and felt to a degree a lot less cluttered. It had really been quite a while since Madoka had disappeared, Homura realized. She had spent so much time in that time loop, and was awed by the rate at which present conditions changed. All of this sudden oddness and influx of new characters really made her wonder about who she really was.

Homura made a simple lunch for herself and was about to stare blankly at something when May came home with a solemn glance on her face. "Hey, find anything interesting today?" Homura asked. May turned her face away and stormed to her room. So even this May has those moments, Homura thought. It was probably better to leave May by herself for some time.

After a little bit less than an hour, Homura knocked twice on May's door, ready to be ignored. "Come in," May said gloomily, and Homura eased the door open gently to find May lying prostrate on the bed. Homura moved over a bit to sit on the mattress and waited. "As you can guess, something happened," May said. "Well, when does something not happen?"

"May I ask what?" Homura asked.

May sighed. "It's always a small thing. I was reading a book on recent genocides in the world when some annoying school-mates came up and made fun of me. Stupid things really, like how my hair's always so messy and I always get dirt on my face, or how childish and animalistic my yellow eyes look. And then the social issues, like how I'm always so shy in school and so absent-minded, or how I'm reading about grim subjects in my spare time." Homura wasn't sure what to say. "I know that seems insignificant, especially since I was reading a book on genocide, but when I look into their eyes as they mock me, I see the contempt of murderers – or perhaps something worse. Murderers are just cold-blooded, wired different. But for minds to take that sort of form… Maybe terrible things aren't happening to me, but I still consider myself a member of the human race. The people that spit cruel words thoughtlessly – perhaps everybody – are no different from those that commit genocide."

"Do you feel obligated to feel this way?" Homura asked, thinking of Madoka and Kyoko and whoever else might feel this sort of way among observing humans.

"No," May said. "But it's one of the things I don't want to disregard. I can disregard the newspaper or test scores, but this is something I can't… Sorry, mom. Did you want to spend a day off in a better manner than this?"

"I'd be ignoring things if I suddenly just treated you to ice cream, huh?" Homura asked with a soft smile as she brushed a clump of May's messy hair. She didn't have anything to actually say, but felt like this bond between her and May was really something special. But she would definitely prefer being called "Homura-onee-chan" than "mom".

"Thanks," May said as she reflected the smile. "I think I'll stay on the bed for a while, though. I'm growing up anyways, and need to learn to cope with these things on my own, right?" The words felt shaky coming out of May's mouth, but Homura decided to leave.

"Do you ever wish that you hadn't gone through that pain you felt before meeting me?" Homura asked Andy. The man looked up from his book. "I look at May and really feel it's something terrible."

"Not really," Andy said. "I feel like this way, I'm much better equipped to raise May. And it helps when it comes to dealing with other people. There's one thing considering the rationality of Plato's saying 'be kind to everyone you meet, for they are always fighting a harder battle', and another to feel the emotion behind it."

"Then…" Homura said. "Why didn't you become a hero, if you cared so much? Why settle down… Why want to settle down with me?"

"I don't dictate most of my wants," Andy admitted. "And I prefer a cyclical rather than a linear nature of life. But if I hadn't met you, I might have joined the Peace Corps or something, and then die due to a foreign disease or a lion. Well, that still wouldn't feel like I would change human nature… How effective would it have been if I wrote novels and essays instead?"

Homura stumbled through the regenerating collection of memories that she had stored in her mind – the ones Zusa wiped. Like May, he had a certain egocentricity in his intellect, and even worse, as a male he usually masked his feelings under a curtain of reason. But the times where he did show his true self certainly meant something, when he lay himself on Homura's chest peacefully and willingly…. To think that this sort of person valued this sort of life above all else… "What do you think I should choose, though? This world or my old world? Aside from the thing that makes me happy – what do you think is the right path?"

"Homura, that's assuming there is a right path," Andy said. "Power or majority doesn't make something right, and reason is completely subjective. If I stated something I'd merely be putting forward my own views or regurgitating someone else's, not saying some profound moral truth."

"Right," Homura said. "Well, do you really want me to leave this place?"

Andy shrugged his shoulders. "There's a good chance that I may be nothing more than a simulated apparition. If that's so, my existence wouldn't even matter."

"But there's another you," Homura said. "Another you that honestly wants this, that… maybe needs this. I don't want to feel responsible if I turn you down and destroy your life…"

"Homura, you were never responsible for me in the first place," Andy said. "If you feel so, I certainly wish you don't. Who were the people closest to you in your old world? Kyoko, Madoka? May? Think that you're responsible for their happiness."

"How do you make decisions though," Homura said, suddenly becoming indecisive. "When you can't measure happiness?"

"With difficulty," Andy explained.

* * *

May came out of her room to and took out the chess box, arranging the pieces by herself. Her father got up from his book and sat down on the opposite end. "Two Rooks and a Bishop?" May asked.

"Let's try a Queen and a Bishop," Andy said. "I have to learn how to defeat your rook game." With that, May took off her queen and bishop from the board and set them to the side.

"You better put up a good challenge, then," May said. "I'd rather be handicapped than play an easy match." As the game started, Homura observed the father-daughter pair. It seemed so peaceful, so wonderful – something that wouldn't be able to happen anymore in the original world. Andy didn't look particularly talented and didn't seem to ruminate on thinking several steps ahead, but still managed to put up a decent fight among knowing May's style.

"Well-played," May said as she trapped her father's king in a clutter of pieces. "You were actually closer to winning than you might've thought. I guess this will be my new handicap. Want to play again?"

"Sure." May and Andy began setting up the board again.

_Well? Are you satisfied?_ Homura heard Rumi's voice in her head.

This world still had its problems, Homura replied with her mind.

_Human nature will still be interesting, but violence will drop to nothing for whatever reason, though. A human will never murder another human – just think of it. And you will be the last generation of Puella Magi. Middle school girls need not suffer tragic fates any more._

Why didn't you create a more appealing universe? Homura asked.

_I couldn't trap you within anyone else's mind, because the charm would've protected you from it. It still had the rationality to keep itself alive instead of blowing itself up in this case, though._

Really…? Homura thought. How do I get out of here?

_The simulation will end in a week at most. When it's over, it's up to you to whether you want to touch the spinning coin or not. Also, I'll be dead again for a while, seeing as I'm only living in so far as this simulation. Unless, of course, you touch that coin._

After Rumi's voice faded away and May won her second match, Homura joined in and played a few board games with this new family of hers. After that, they did some housework and decided to go out for dinner.

"It's a shame having to prepare everything all the time," May said. "And even worse if we make mom do all the cooking. Where do you want to go?"

Homura found herself with the father-daughter pair at a Thai restaurant. While she was still trying to get accustomed to the strangeness of the situation, she had realized that she really did enjoy these rather relaxing environments, where no one had any obligations. The participation in a normal sort of smile would stress her out a bit, but this sense of just being felt like another sort of refined pleasure.

"…Hey, did you hear about the new train they're making?" May asked.

"Sort of," Andy said. "It's one of those streamlined ones polished white, right? How fast does it go?"

"Always focusing on the speeds," May rolled her eyes. Homura sat by herself as Andy and May discussed things, letting all her thoughts surface to her mind. Was she getting tired of this new world already?

"Hey," Homura said. "How do you measure what's good or bad, in a reasonable way? Doesn't all of this cross-examining just tie in with our emotions and seem arbitrary?"

"It's something that's unquantifiable," May said. "And I think that's what makes it precious. Something that's meaningless and priceless, something that we assign value to… It would be both boring and sad if everyone kept in line with perfectly calculated standards."

"…The world I came from was worse, you know that?" Homura asked. "There was no divine intervention in order to restrict humanity's self-destructive nature. But I can see the argument that such is the price to pay for freedom and diversity. On the other side, perhaps I was just wondering, would humankind be better off if it wasn't free?"

"I don't think the two worlds are that different," Andy said. "In your world, supposedly, people already have an option to give themselves in to an absolutist value instead of being programmed by it. Even if they choose not to be free, I still prefer a world where there's a choice, even if the pain and suffering there is far worse."

"But as for this situation…" Homura shook her head. "You're hiding some feelings, I know it. In that world, you'll feel abandoned once I reject you. May will find her own people to talk to as she grows up. Wouldn't you prefer wronging humanity and saving yourself? This world doesn't cause deep pain for me, and perhaps when this simulation carries things through things will be even better. I don't get why you two think such an old world would be better…"

"It's the one you're going to choose, though," Andy said as he looked away. "As much as I want you to say that I'm a valuable person to you, I don't think you should say it." A short silence passed around the table before May spoke up.

"Hey, hey, I can go trick-or-treating for Halloween again, right?" May asked. "That May cosplay probably still fits on me."

"Do I really have to have my chest exposed in the autumn air?" Andy replied. "You always make me dress up as Johnny…"

Homura sighed. In addition to this strange simulation, the memories Zusa had wiped were surfacing to her head. She felt considerably guilty for leaning one way or another in this case. It appeared that she really would just be making an arbitrary decision regardless of the world she chose.

The following Monday in this world, Homura found herself in a boring but ultimately not-too-stressful job organizing files or something, and found nothing worth mentioning until she got back home. This wasn't something that could be used to compare things though, as she had plenty of boring moments in the original world too. Homura returned to her new home to see May in her school uniform, this one a black and red one that matched her pantyhose. In this world, it looked like May and Homura also made dinner together.

While preparing the meal, May brought up some random happenings from her school, and Homura listened and responded with her own stories. This was something that the May she knew still had time getting used to. "You know, mom, you really are a good listener," May said. "Daddy probably… well, needs you to some extent. That's why it was so hard for him during high school. I think that people like me have a lot of thoughts in their head, and if these feelings are repressed and psychoanalyzed, they can come out in weird manners. We need good listeners."

"You don't have a problem with it?" Homura asked. "That is, if I leave this world and leave your dad alone…?"

"If the me on that world's fine with it, I guess I should be too," May said. "She's not too different from me, right?"

"But…" Homura started. "It feels like I'm the only one that can hear his scars. I heard that he was an alright guy in my world after being given the innocent joy of raising a child, but children grow up…"

"…Yeah," May said as she looked down at her cut vegetables. "Maybe."

Homura felt a sense of utter responsibility as she went to bed that night. Even with all of May's musings, even if she knew the correct answer to this, it wouldn't calm the painful feelings in her heart. _It's not just him, you know,_ Rumi said. _There are plenty of people out there that die lonely deaths because they can never find that certain someone._ Homura turned over in bed to look at Andy's back. The two were pretty far apart, and facing away from each other. _If it's not this world, he'll forever spend the rest of his nights afraid and alone with a bundle of blankets_.

"There's got to be another way," Homura whispered.

_Or he can just harden himself up and lose that sense of human compassion and emotion you people value so much_. Were those the only two options? Imagining all of the different situations, that's what seemed to be the case.

"Huh?" Homura said as May's figure crept into the room. The hazel-eyed girl tugged her father's sleeve slightly. Homura watched Andy wake up drowsily to see May's sensitive eyes.

"I had a nightmare," May said. "Can I sleep with you two tonight?"

"It depends on whether your mom's okay with it," Andy said as he turned to Homura.

"Isn't she fourteen by now?" Homura asked. "This feels a little too much for parents to give."

"I don't want to have her go through… what I went through though," Andy said. "But if you insist…"

"All right, she can sleep with us," Homura said a little reluctantly. The original May still had those moments from time to time as well. As May snuggled into the spot between her parents, Homura thought about what a sweet and gentle scene this was. But May couldn't really keep acting this way, could she? Why was that? Because of a realistic standard?

…Should the realistic standard even be considered? Homura didn't know whether she should as she drifted off to sleep with this strange family.

The next day was Halloween. None of the three looked like who they were dressing up as, but that didn't stop May from acting like a young child, pretending to be stealing treasure as a pirate. "Doesn't she have any friends of her own?" Homura asked.

"She's a little too strange for that," Andy said nervously. "Hey… When you return to your world, take good care of her, will you?"

"And what if I don't?"

"I won't let you go back," Andy said matter-of-factly as he zipped up his jacket as to not expose his open chest, although that was part of the costume.

"Are you sure you're able to take care of yourself?" Homura asked. Homura saw a glint in the man's eye, but it was quickly wiped away with a finger. He was so composed in comparison to the last time they had parted, in which he had mentally broken down in a pile of bodily fluids.

"That's something of a lesser priority to you, and you know it," Andy said. "Should we say our good-bye tomorrow?"

Homura shrugged. "I'm not sure how I'd get back, but tomorrow works. But it'll just be the bye in this world. When we get back to the original world, I'll have to say a bit more."

Homura would say farewell to this alternate world at a nearby park, in the collection of trees near the creek. The bright white sunlight glittered and filtered into a yellowish haze as it passed through the leaves of a tree, dancing along with the shadows on the dirt floor. May was climbing trees and jumping on stones protruding from the flowing stream. "Well, I guess this is it," Andy said. "Maybe it wasn't of my doing this time, but after this, you won't have to be at risk of being seduced into my own little dream world."

"What will you do after this?" Homura asked as May attempted to balance on a stone with one foot.

"I don't really know," Andy said. "The world is just so full of opportunities… That world even more so. I feel that it's a little too late to pursue dreams of becoming a hero or villain, though."

"Well, whatever you do, don't waste your life," Homura said as she continued to observe May playing around with nature. The hazel-eyed girl was staring intently at something stuck in the stream's gravel now, watching the water wisp in its delicate patterns. "…You haven't wasted it so far. You've raised a really wonderful daughter, you know that?"

"…But it's time for her to move on," Andy admitted. "Surely, you'll provide her more fitting support as a friend than as a mother, right?"

"I hope so," Homura said as she closed her eyes solemnly. The world went white, and Homura found herself standing in front of the spinning coin on the pedestal again. The Purifier's corpse was gone, sent into an unknown oblivion. "I guess I still have a chance to mess with this…" Homura said to herself.

For some odd reason, the coin began wobbling on its own, and started to fall off the pedestal. Homura wondered what she should do about it. As the coin rolled off the pedestal and onto the featureless white floor, Homura picked it up and gazed at its pattern. It was a darkish-grey coin that glimmered in the light. On one side was a line with three arrows to the right, and another with a line with three arrows to the left. "Whatever should be done in this situation?" Homure whispered softly to herself.

"I guess I'm a little predictable." Homura smiled as she placed the coin on the pedestal and spun it again, keeping an eye on it for a bit to ensure that it didn't fall or topple over. Indeed, with this tiny push, it seemed that this cyclical coin would keep spinning for a very long time. Homura walked in the direction of the magical gate and jumped through the white distorted flames, returning to the universe as it should be.

* * *

"Oh, you're back," Sayaka said as Homura slowed her descent from the sky with her new metallic and silver wings. "They stopped throwing themselves at us after a while since it seemed like their leader had fallen against you. They don't seem to be the type to fight for nothing, I guess."

"Homura-onee-chan…" May muttered as she looked up at the normalized sky, and then over to Homura.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, May." Homura couldn't think up a better statement. She retracted her new wings and walked over to Zusa, holding out the charm that contained Andy in her hand. "So what's going to become of him?"

Zusa took the charm and observed it carefully. "It looks like that troublemaker's power has awakened again, so his body is going to regenerate somehow… May, you can supply this thing with water, right?" Zusa tossed the charm over to May. "Have a few nice moments with your dad. You both deserve it."

"There are still have a lot of repairs to make," Ruth said as she stretched her arms. "But given that magical essence has leaked into this world, I don't think that we need to go to the length to reconstruct buildings and wipe people's memories. All I really have to ask is that after you girls return to your original world, don't slide between universes very often. It creates a rather big mess."

May was still staring at the charm in her hands. "Guys, I want to be alone in my house for a while. There are a lot of private moments I want to share with him."

"Hey, are you sure we can't just drag him back to our world?" Mami asked. "It seems rather strange to have to separate father and daughter."

"He doesn't 'fit in' well," Zusa said. "And he probably hardly knows any Japanese at this point. If he constantly faces you girls he won't be able to outgrow that dreaded stage he was stuck in. But I guess we can do a few visits from time to time."

For the next few days, May stayed in her house regenerating her father's body. The other four girls went out and explored parts of the city that weren't demolished by the short war, and taught the residents of this world how to deal with and control the magical essence that had been introduced. Zusa was off healing some sort of rift, or just doing her own thing. The broken buildings would take a while to reconstruct, and walking was relatively annoying, so Sayaka decided to have the girls drop in on May one day despite what she had said.

"It's still not yet complete," May said as she supplied water to an odd lump of red flesh growing out from the wall. It was around the size of a pillow, and pulsing and beating oddly. "I don't think his regenerative capabilities are as effective as they could be, and I want to stay here providing water in case an emergency comes up."

"I can fast-time it," Homura said with a ball of purple magic in her hand.

"…I'd rather not," May said with an earnest look in her eyes. Sayaka sighed, and the four girls left May to her own business.

"It's really not as fun without her, is it?" Kyoko commented.

It was a while after Andy's full body regenerated before he could actually function and talk to May. "…I feel that I had a very interesting dream," the man said. Instantly, among seeing her father awake, May leaned in for a deep hug. "So you aren't dead after all, are you, May?"

"I have a whole lot of things to talk to you about," May said as she drew away from Andy with a relieved smile. Upon such a statement, May described all of the events and adventures she had with the Puella Magi in the alternate universe, trying not to leave out a single event. Andy just smiled among hearing it all.

"I guess I'm jealous," Andy said softly, and before he knew it, a painful emotion tugged down at his heart. "You're growing up, aren't you? You couldn't be dependent on me forever, of course… And I can't come to that world, either…" May shared her father's sorrowful expression.

"I'm sorry," May said.

"No, no," Andy said. "You could already say that I've had enough ego-inflating as it is. In fact, you can even say that it's enough that I have my one and only daughter doing all the things I've ever wished to do…" A single tear ran down the man's cheek. "Hey, May… Am I a coward? I've had opportunities before, but I didn't just snatch Homura up from under her arms and run with her." Andy let out a grim chuckle. "And even now, I'm having my daughter do all the work for me."

"Well…" May said as she leaned back. "Sometimes the cowardly act is the best thing to do." Andy looked only slightly comforted from that statement. "Thanks for helping me become the person I am, dad. It means a lot to me." With that, May leaned in for another hug.

The other four Puella Magi barged back into May's house sometime later, to realize that they really didn't have anything to say to May's father. Having May translate from Japanese to English and back would be certainly awkward as well. All Andy could really say as he gazed upon the four girls while sitting stunned on the floor was, "…Homura."

"You'll get moments to visit us," May said to her father. "But for the most part, you'll have to do without her. Sorry." Andy looked like he was about to break down, and Homura leaned in to give the man a deep hug. "She's probably not going to go farther than that anymore," May said.

"It's okay," Homura said in Japanese. She supposed Andy should have at least some idea of what she was saying due to all those years of being an otaku. With that hug, Homura pulled herself away and gave Andy a friendly smile. May got up and brushed her father's hair, and then stood up with the four other Puella Magi.

"I guess this is goodbye," May said. "Your torch is going to burn in another generation."

"Hmph," Andy said. The five girls looked at the man for a while before leaving the room and then the house. "…Perhaps," Andy added when no one was listening.

Zusa came soon after and took the girls back to their original world, which was apparently ready after some memory-wiping and rift-alternations. "But before we go back, I think that we should pay a visit to her, shouldn't we?" Zusa asked as she led the girls through the blank, contorting space between universes.

"Homura-chan, it's been a while," Madoka said in her simple white dress. Her eyes had returned to their human pinkness, and her pigtails were cropped short once again. Immediately, Homura ran up to her beloved friend and engaged in a deep hug. It was much longer than the one she gave my father, May noticed.

"Calm down, it's not going to be the last time you'll be seeing her," Zusa said. "We've worked out some sort of system, actually. Some other girls will swap for Madoka's role every now and then, so you'll be able to see her as a normal human – well, as a Puella Magi – one-third of the year, perhaps? Maybe a little more than that. Give us a few weeks and we'll make our first shift."

"…Madoka," Homura said as she suddenly became aware of her friends' gazes and pulled back. "I… I can't say too much here, can I?" Homura chuckled nervously. "Did I make the wrong choice for the world? You were always so opposed to its suffering…"

"It's fine, Homura-chan," Madoka said as she took her friend's delicate hands. "I don't know what I would've done in your situation, but you made a good decision."

Homura remembered the nightmare realm she had faced when Rumi first trapped her inside Andy's mind. "I don't know… This seems like a silly, irrelevant question, but by chance do you hate May's father? He's been the one causing all this trouble we've been facing."

Madoka looked away sorrowfully. "Yes… I don't know why. I'd prefer it if I didn't hate him. I don't get it. I can't hate anyone else, be it Freud or serial killers or other fanboys of you on that world, and I find May-chan likable, but the very thought of him just… Instills some unwanted feelings inside me. I'm working hard not to hate him." Homura wondered whether it was because she secretly hated Andy that she rejected his proposals, but dismissed the notion.

"I guess that could be considered a pretty outstanding accomplishment," Zusa joked sarcastically. "Now come on, let's move along. You'll see Madoka again in a couple of weeks anyways."

Homura blinked, alerted. "Okay, promise this time that we can all live the live we should have lived, sometime in the far future. All five of us, and May too."

"Pinky swear."

* * *

"I can feel myself hardening already," Andy said as he yawned, looking out into the ocean sunset. He had taken claim of one of the abandoned room-sized boats and set out into the sea from time to time, just appreciating the calming scenery. To his surprise, Zusa would come visit him from time to time.

"I suppose it'd be illogical to expect you to stay as the soft, sensitive man-child you always were," Zusa said as she sat on the edge of the boat, swinging her legs. "Knowing your personality, what do you think you're going to do after this?"

"It seems that I can wield a good deal of magic in this world now," Andy grinned devilishly. "While you said I couldn't use it to its full extent, as in summoning weapons or my wings, I still can do quite a bit of brawling with this, and there's some regeneration too."

"I thought you would choose to do something stranger than join a fight club."

"I wasn't finished," Andy said, still with that joking smile of his. "Since everyone in this world looks all anime-ish, this means that I'm actually attracted to all the delicious lolis running around." Zusa put her palm to her forehead. "I was just thinking, wander the world, have philosophical conversations with people's daughters and then have sex with them, and then carry on the conversation to their parents and try to get the children to gain autonomy and independence. And maybe get into a fight or two along the way. And then I'd change my name to something else, like I don't know, Sagan Russell."

"Sagan Russell… You really want your life to be like that?" Zusa asked. "I've always seen you as an idiot, but also as a much more sensitive guy."

"Well, maybe after a year or two. And maybe my name will be Friedrich Rasilinikov instead." Andy sighed. "I can't keep caring about Homura and May forever, after all. Perhaps I've left all of my good inside my daughter's heart – what you see here is just going to become a lousy, self-interested shell. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't have fun doing so, right?"

Zusa let out a skeptical laugh. "If only you were born a girl, huh?"

* * *

It was a Saturday, and Homura found herself at a neighborhood park relaxing with the five other Puella Magi. Incidentally, Madoka still didn't have records in this world, so she sort of ended up sharing the apartment with Homura and May. Although Homura sometimes wanted to just keep Madoka for herself, this could also be seen in a positive light, for it would restrain her from acting out upon too many of her selfish interests. In any case, May would go out and play with the other three girls often enough, leaving a good deal of time for Madoka and Homura to go out on dates.

As for what happened to Kyoko and Sayaka, they seemed to be more of childhood friends than anything, only occasionally participating in those romantic moments. Mami seemed content and calm with her role as always. Kyosuke Kamijou and Hitomi supposedly stopped dating, but both looked like they were doing well and didn't hold grudges against each other. Kyubey was probably out there making more contracts, and the Ordered swore not to erase any more memories. Although there were no philosophical epiphanies (except from May), it looked like the universe was getting along just fine.

Despite all of the crap in the world, there were still the beautiful moments. However, Homura really couldn't help wondering from time to time about what really happened to Andy, or all of the other young men lusting after non-existent people or impossible dreams, or tormented by intellectual ideas. Although she wasn't really sure how much better it made things, when she looked at May's smile – when she made May smile – she just felt that the world and humanity could be forgiven and accepted.

"Yes - You, May."


End file.
